Ok so. I don't know where to begin, my partner and I have been together 8 months now and we love each other on a whole level and very deeply, he has decided he'd like to transition MTF and I am trying to support it, and I don't wanna lose him as my love, but I worried that the hormones are gonna change the way he sees, feels, and loves me. I was looking into it and it says that it can have some affect on your mind and change how you feel towards certain people and or pastimes and relationships, I have asked him about it and he said that he doesn't see it happening and that nothing can come between our love, but how does he know? Like has anyone experienced this? Also I'm worried cause I love anal sex/ being the bottom and upon research it states that he probably won't be able to get erect or penetrate, he said he didn't see that happening to him but if it says it will happen I just don't see him being able to fight it.. I was hoping to hear some other significant others out there who have been with their partner through it and how it went. I love him so much and don't wanna be with anyone else. It's all still new to me but I will not hold him back from what he wants at all.
Welcome to Susan's Place TLTQ,
I love being a bottom too and there are lots of ways to play with each other if people are committed and willing to be flexible in pursuit of shared happiness. However, I feel it is true that we cannot accurately predict how we will feel with real certainly about life during and after transition. My partner and I have been together for 43 years and "where there is a will there is a way." We modified our marriage and created what we needed to live our lives to the fullest. That meant we also have times apart and with other people too. We are monogamous now and i am as functional as I like.
I personally know of people who have been in transition and many years later are still functional in terms of having an erection and playing well with others. :D We also hear of people here who experience dramatic and unanticipated changes in their relationships, desires and goals.
Thank you for being a supporter for her and please enjoy looking around here.
Welcome to Susan's Place. You are being very supportive but you also have a right to be concerned. We have many couples on the site who have remained together and this has strengthened the bond between them. The relationship may change and this is why couples consoling would be recommend in order to deal with the issue that may come up.
HRT will cause a change in the degree of sexual desire but shouldn't alter the attraction toward you. Some people retain their ability to function and others don't. HRT can be adjusted in order to maintain functionally but that will need to be discussed with the doctors. Many people discover other forms of sex play that may be more rewarding than what they had before.
Because of your degree of acceptance, there is a good probability that you can remain together and have a long, happy life together.
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Quote from: ToLegitToQuit on May 21, 2016, 11:34:56 AM
Ok so. I don't know where to begin, my partner and I have been together 8 months now and we love each other on a whole level and very deeply, he has decided he'd like to transition MTF and I am trying to support it, and I don't wanna lose him as my love, but I worried that the hormones are gonna change the way he sees, feels, and loves me.
I still have a longing for my ex. I would have stayed with her but she had religious beliefs that would not allow it. That was over thirty years ago. It's hard to say what will happen in our lives. Spouses separate for all sorts of reasons. And a very precious few weather the storms and are more committed to each other because of them.
I would say that the decision is yours to make at this point.
I'm in the YMMV camp. HRT combined with more and more acceptance of who you are, exploring long repressed/supressed feelings are all things that cannot be predicted. I have been surprised/scared over some aspects myself never expecting things to evolve as they seem to be doing
Hi and welcome:)
I think you're being very supportive but please remember to look after yourself as well:) I also love anal, guess it could be still possible with the use of toys!?
I cannot help with the hormone question... As my special friend hasn't started those yet. But I wished to say hello and here if you need someone to talk through things with.
Marie :)
Significant other
Heterosexual woman
Thank you all for your help, I really didn't think anyone would respond, especially not so fast. I guess I will just have to hope for the best and cross the bridge when I get to it. I can just try and keep in good communication through it all. I'm a pretty effeminate guy so I worry that maybe once she is she that maybe she won't be attracted to me cause of how effeminate I am. I wear girl underwear and alot of people know that I think like a girl and even treat me like one. So I'm worried she will want a more masculine mate as most women do, maybe crazy. I'm told I worry too much, but my anxiety just gets going sometimes. Anyways, I take her shopping for clothes and such and give as much support as I can, I just feel like she doesn't notice that this affects my life too, that I'm going to be bombarded with questions and such ( I'm not too worried what people think going forward) I just can't help but get the feeling that she doesn't really care how Im feeling, I just want some appreciation for my support and maybe some kind words for all that I do more often. Sorry if this is a mess.