Hi Everyone,
I'm sure this has already been asked and answered at some point but I do not have the patience to look back over years/months of topics.
I have recently started HRT and have no one that I can ask as to what the first few months are like. I have heard on different online forums etc., that people feel a sense of relief and a inner peace that they have waited all their life for. I don't regret my decision and know in my heart that this is right for me, but I don't feel any immediate sense of relief. As a matter of fact, I have been quite cranky over the last couple of weeks.
I recently came out to family members and the stress of that may be taking some of the glow away from me, I don't know. I do know that I have always felt alone and now that feeling is intensified.
Does everyone feel an immediate relief?
The primary feeling comes from the T blocker reducing or eliminating the dysphoria. This can take a few weeks to feel once your levels are low enough. If you aren't at a full transition dosage yet, it possible your T isn't suppressed yet and emotionally you are more or less the same. Some people can feel the estrogen when it's at a higher dosage but not everybody does.
It may be the stress that is making it harder to sense any other emotions. I can't really say though, as I'm not quite on hormones myself yet, but stress makes more of an impact than what most people realize.
But I have heard it's very common to have a rush of emotions, become upset over things that normally wouldn't bother you, and even cry easily. But, you are pretty much going through a second puberty, your body is taking in new levels of hormones, and individual experiences probably do greatly vary.
I've been going for 2 1/2 months at this point and well my experiences were that I immediately felt a sense of peace in the first few days and very calm and happy. Then my parents decided to put their two cents in, which kind of stressed me out for about the first week or two. Honestly stress can limit your ability to feel other emotions to an extent. I know that since I've started, if I get too stressed, I start breaking down until I cry, which is something that never happened before I started. I have literally cried more in the past 2 months than I have in years. When I'm not stressed, my emotions are stronger, fuller, and feel like they have a wider range to them. So for me it was a mixture of relief and and then stress because of family. I think it varies from person to person, because of how people around them react. Right now I'm kind of more of a stable point now, and maybe it's because my body has balanced out a bit. But I totally know what you mean, they took some of that glow away. It's like, you finally get to be you, and then someone comes along to take away part of that happiness you have. I also have other freak outs for myself, like all the questions about breast growth like "am I developing normally" to little questions that don't really matter. It's all a balance of patience and being you! I hope that helps a little.
Quote from: Bronwethiel on May 23, 2016, 08:22:30 PM
As a matter of fact, I have been quite cranky over the last couple of weeks.
Does everyone feel an immediate relief?
So...would you say you're like a moody teenager at this point? ;)
The thing about having an expanded emotional repertoire is the bad goes further down in addition to the ups going higher. You have to be careful and monitor yourself, especially in the beginning as you get used to it and your brain is doing the major rewiring work, especially if you're going through an already stressful period. I would go from really high to really low immediately and for almost no reason for the first...2 months or so? It began to stabilize a bit after that, and progesterone helped a LOT for me, but the downs are still able to go a lot further down than before.
Personally I didn't get an immediate sense of relief, no. It wasn't until after a several week freak-out about a month after starting that I actually felt good and not like a plodding brute, and I noticed the disphoria was gone except for comparatively rare occasions, etc.
Quote from: Bronwethiel on May 23, 2016, 08:22:30 PM
I have recently started HRT and have no one that I can ask as to what the first few months are like.
Feel free to PM me, I'm always happy to make new friends!
I've been on anti Testosterone for just over two months. At the 2 month mark I felt an over whelming calmness. I don't start on E for another two days.
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I am currently on 3-4 weeks of hormones and blockers and I haven't noticed anything at all yet. I am Anticipating some changes in the next few weeks--biological change is slow
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Knowing I was on the path is what made me feel better, and happier. Being on HRT caused mood swings for me. I think that's normal. It took a few months to get past that. I still have mood swings now, but they're rare and I don't get as pissy as I did. I think maybe it's just getting used to the emotions. I felt like every emotion was amplified. Once I got used to it all, I went back to normal and in fact have less mood swings now than I had prior to HRT.
Today is day 14 for me since starting HRT. I am on a dosage level that seems in line with MTF transitioning from what I have read about on other sites that provide that information. I am also under the care of an endocrinologist.
I feel nothing. :( I am older (60+) and all those years on testosterone may be effecting me more then others who are younger.
From the responses to your post so far it seems like individual results are just that. Everyone is different so all I would say it take the replies to your post as possible results, but don't expect to duplicate anyone's.
I am so hoping to experience some emotional change, but I have to keep telling myself to be patience. I would like it you could keep us informed of your HRT experience.
Diane,
We are both in the same age range and I began HRT nearly 6 weeks ago. I was on a rather low dose for the first month and there were initially a few days when I had a brief period of feeling good, then I felt no different than I did prior to taking the E.
Two weeks ago, my doc doubled my dosage and with that I could tell a difference. I feel real good now and feel I could stay on this dose for the rest of my life if I had to. But I'm already looking forward to next month when my doc will increase my dose again.
Other than feeling real good, the biggest thing I notice is that it killed my sex drive.
I would say to give it more time and most likely your doctor will increase your dose at some point and you may feel different.
I wouldn't say it was an immediate sense of relief, but I do think my anxiety was extremely reduced within the first month of starting.
Thanks Phlox for that information.
Today, day 15 of HRT I wanted to add something to what I wrote yesterday. Yesterday was probably my "disappointment" with my results so far showing through. Because I do want to note that one change that has occurred since beginning HRT is that my anxiety level has dropped quite a bit. I know that because I have been prescribed ativan for my anxiety a few years ago and have taken it at least 2-3 times, sometimes 5-6 times a week. Since beginning HRT I have not felt the need for the ativan. Coincidence? Maybe, but quite a change for me regardless.
I do see the sense in what you write. I had my dose doubled after a week. Then endo wanted me to see how I tolerated the HRT. And she said if I was fine I could double the dose after a week. So that's where I am at. Without being able to say our actual dosages here, it's hard to know how my dosage relates to others. As I wrote in researching HRT my prescription does fall in the range of what MTF transitioning receive. But I do see higher dosages prescribed.
I see my endo in 2 1/2 months and have a blood test before that appointment. I figure adjustments may be made at that time. I plan on posting how my HRT is going. There is such a variety of great information here and I want to add what I can
So I'm new here and I'm not sure if this is the best place to ask about this, but I just started taking Estradiol sublingually almost two weeks ago.
How long should it take to dissolve? Because sometimes even if I've been extra patient and let it sit there for 5-10 minutes, there's still some green residue floating around. Anybody have any experiences with this?
Welcome to Susan's Place utenanicoletta. You might see something left of the tablet because most of it is filler. For Estradiol the dosage is measured in milligrams and one milligram is one one millionth of a kilogram (2.2 pounds). When you work out the numbers estradiol is extremely powerful in very small dosages. This is also why Estradiol in tablet forum is so cheap as a little bit goes a very long way. Also as Estradiol is a naturally occurring estrogen, it can't be patented so the drug companies can't put an excessive price on it.
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Hi Everyone,
Firstly, I want to thank you all so much for replying and sharing your experiences. I have been on HRT for one month now and will see the doctor in about two weeks. I was hoping to discuss with her the feelings, or lack of feelings, that I have been experiencing. Your stories have helped me a lot and I feel much better knowing that others share similar things.
I do feel a little like a teenager some days but my dosage is not very high right now. The T blocker has pretty well taken away any sexual desire I had. I don't even think about it much anymore. I do believe my family is trying thier best to be understanding but it is extremely stressful right now and I am being cautiously optimistic that I will have some kind of life with everyone.
Thank you again!!
To IDONTEVEN
I am not sure how to PM but thank you for inviting me to do so.
PM is disabled until you reach 15 post. There will be a little symbol under each avatar that will allow you to send a PM to that person.
It's really interesting to see these replies which pretty much mirror my own experience.
I started on E about 3 months ago. Gradually I became happier and happier until I had my Lupron injection two weeks ago. Since then I've been all over the place, presumable due to the temporary increase in T.
Over the last few days I've experience a remarkable drop in anxiety which I can only guess is the T leaving my system.
Does anyone really know why this is? Is it because we're not supposed to have T and there's a conflict between male T levels and a female brain?
I really didn't understand how anxious I was before until it's no longer there. It really is a fresh breath of air and one that I'll never be able to give up.
Jxx
I am the baby in the woodpile here as far as being older and starting HRT but I have had low to no T for a long time now. My Estradol regime is set over three months to have me on a full transitional dose by July. I will be doubling in a couple of weeks and then doubling again 4 weeks later. I have noticed only a couple of very minor things and it more of an enhancement of on the low T effect more than new stuff. I have such a long way to go but I am on my way...I suspect I will notice a bit more when I have my first increase.
I remember noticing things constantly as my T fell away (without taking blockers, long story) to the point where I was budding...but that is an old and boring story...It wasn't until, someone shot me full of T, that I realised how much different life was when that ->-bleeped-<- was coursing through your body, how much happier I was (relatively Speaking).
Liz
If I have my facts on this right, while Lupron is a blocker, when you first start it causes a surge in testosterone then your levels will drop. That would explain what you are feeling.