Wow,
Just over three months since GRS. All is good.. Dilating is perfect... happy camper with results.
Anyway, there came a day and I was like OMG.. I did it. I thought about that and my emotions ended with a big thud.
Boom, so your forever a woman now...
I have had some ups and downs mentally. I am mostly up now. Post Op depression is real and its normal.. I don't regret the surgery at all.. In fact I don't think much about it at all.
I just have a vagina now. It feels normal. Like its always been there.
So, as excited as I should be, I still have all the problems I had before transition. Bills to pay, work... having to figure out how to stay afloat.
In addition to that, if I change careers now I am a woman.. What do I do for a living.
And relationships, whats next.. I hate being alone.
I am very social.
So, am I happier... I think so. At least I am alive. I lost so much in transition so I do have remorse for my losses.
But I do weep at times over the loss of a spouse. I hate having an empty house.
So, in a way, I weep over the loss of who I pretended to be. And then I have joy over being normal.
It really brings home the saying, no pain no gain.
Dating? That is weird... guys are so attracted to me and they might have sex with me but most would be afraid to let anyone know they date a trans girl.
I think I need to move to another state... somewhere where I can have fun and start over.. Like CA..
Then I leave all my friends.. and family.
So, although this is not totally uplifting ... it is a positive post I hope.
Life goes on... and now.. OMG.. I am a woman... forever..
Keri
Keri,
Maybe you have lost some things and that stinks. It least the foundation on which everything you build in your life is based on being you now. Determination to get to where you want to be may be a good way to focus yourself. One step at a time and not looking at everything at once can go a ways toward being positive. Congratulations on womanhood. I am happy for you.
Moni
You've been a woman all your life love
and a lovely woman you are Keri :)
Keri-
As others have said - you've always been a woman - you are finally living as one and dealing with the same problems and issues that other women have to deal with as well as some issues that came with you from your previous life.
Even though I have not had the surgery I still struggle at times with a sense of unreality and dislocation, and in very dark times the question of whether losing everything was really worth what I gained. Not everything in my old life was bad and some things were quite good, and I miss the good things.
The answer to that question of course is yes, it is far better to be alive than dead, and my life is much better than before. But it is hard to be suddenly alone and single after 27 years of marriage, it is difficult to realize that I might be single for the rest of my life, and it is difficult to adapt to a completely new way of living and of being perceived. I knew about these things before I transitioned of course, but the reality of living with them is a bit different than I expected.
Come on out to SoCal dear - the weather is generally perfect, there are no tornadoes, the laws are on your side, we have a rocking trans pride event in June, the pacific ocean is less than an hour away as are the mountains, and employers are generally trans friendly - you'll fit right in :)
I know that feeling =) Congratz.
Definitely has its losses though, agreed. My parents are forever out of the picture as far as I'm concerned but I did find the man for me and have supportive friends/family.
I stuck with the same career but my hobbies are definitely different and often more social now ;)
Load up the truck and move to Beverly.....Hills, that is. Swimming pools, movie stars......
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Quote from: Jessie Ann on May 25, 2016, 10:25:27 AM
Load up the truck and move to Beverly.....Hills, that is. Swimming pools, movie stars......
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Hahahahahahahahahaha...LMAO.. good one
Thanks Girls,
I really appreciate the responses..
In reality, looks like a move is in my future.. most likely to CA. Its expensive there but I could get a job ahead of time.. There has never been a better sales person alive than me..
At least in CA I could relax and go for it.
I also love music.. I live for concerts and clubs and dancing.
Oklahoma is ok.. but nothing like CA.
I also want to get involved in politics and kick some asses..
So who knows.
Anyway, still trying to get my feet on the ground. Right now I trip every few steps...and sometimes I fall.
Somehow we keep getting up.. that is what counts.
Keri
All of this talk of moving to CA, really makes me miss it; I would go back if I could convince my hubby, but he's put off by how expensive it is and all of the traffic. And Keri, congratulations on making such a beautiful transformation! Best wishes in all of your endeavors 😊
...Umm going out on a limb here...but here goes. Just wait until you use it! ...with a lover. :P
Congratulations,
Anne
EOM
Oh, Keri, what a wonderful post. You've made it, and become fully and completely yourself in body and mind. Congratulations! Oh, and yeah, CA is pretty darn nice. ;)
You were the first TG I have met that is not Asian ...told you when we first met. It was a really bonding experience..Yes, we discussed post op depression and we all got hit to a degree ...but we were prepared.
Life goes on as normal...except we have a new perspective of the world. We have to face our daily problems of life, work and sadness. You are a strong woman and I know you will excell.
Just a humorous digression but sometimes when I go to pee sitting down, late at night, I automatically reach for my phantom penis.
Love you and ..if I was going to live in the USA I would opt for California ...went to San Diego State University and had the time of my life.
Quote from: warlockmaker on May 28, 2016, 11:29:58 PM
You were the first TG I have met that is not Asian ...told you when we first met. It was a really bonding experience..Yes, we discussed post op depression and we all got hit to a degree ...but we were prepared.
Life goes on as normal...except we have a new perspective of the world. We have to face our daily problems of life, work and sadness. You are a strong woman and I know you will excell.
Just a humorous digression but sometimes when I go to pee sitting down, late at night, I automatically reach for my phantom penis.
Love you and ..if I was going to live in the USA I would opt for California ...went to San Diego State University and had the time of my life.
Hey Chick,
Wonderful post and thank you so much. I had a really hard weekend... everyone was out doing things and I got so depressed.... But I am better now... in fact have a date with a hot dude tomorrow night...second date. He really likes me..almost to much..ugh
Keri
Thanks for all the replies and wonderful posts.. Love you all....
Keri
I am so happy for you Keri.
There have been a couple of girls recently that stopped posting after GCS with rumours of regret. This was beginning my decision to have my surgery in Thailand, or at all. But you and Anne have reassured me that all we give up is worth it in the end.
Love Jools x
Quote from: juliehope on June 02, 2016, 12:40:55 PM
I am so happy for you Keri.
There have been a couple of girls recently that stopped posting after GCS with rumours of regret. This was beginning my decision to have my surgery in Thailand, or at all. But you and Anne have reassured me that all we give up is worth it in the end.
Love Jools x
Julie,
Expect a certain amount of depression after surgery.. therapy is important. I can not imagine myself being a woman without the surgery.. so I wonder if they regretted transition or had complications. Dilating is time consuming... thats for sure. This is why its so important to be full time for a year before surgery.. Some don't even want it... and that is up to them.
I am dating men now..just CIS dudes that like girls. Without the surgery.. I would be lost..
Keri
You look great & happy. I'm sure men would love the opportunity to be with you. Not all would be afraid to tell others. Now that your body is good, use it girl friend......enjoy. You may meet a great man......& I'm sure it will feel great since your vagina is ready......I would sure love to be in your position. I love to be with a man, love it but my body is not yet ready. You need friends, so no reason to move just open up, be glad for you who are, men will knocking at your door soon....Take care & have fun girl friend.
The one thing I am finding now is not that its hard to find a guy. Its to submit to a dude. They want to be in charge and are so aggressive sometimes.. I am not used to saying no... but I am learning from other girls. I have a guy picking me up tonight.. that is a first.. and taking me to dinner. He knows about me.. I like full disclosure. He is really good looking... Its just weird.. I transitioned so fast and did not expect attn this fast. UGH...
They treat me like a woman which is great but I am surprised how hart it is to get used to.. LOL
Keri
Keri, You & your man will know very quick if the chemistry is right. Some men want to show themselves off to you & have sex so quick. Others want to court you, go slow....I always just let the man do what he wanted to do, let him know I liked him, he was handsome.....sexy......I enjoyed being desired you know. Just relax & enjoy being a woman for whatever your nice man needs but if he's rough or not good to you, kick him to the curb......so fast. You will have so many men desiring you I'm sure. Have fun girl friend, you are in charge......
Keri, let us all know how your date went & how you are adjusting to being a woman, enjoying being a woman I so hope for you. I've always enjoyed an aggressive dominate man........that's what they are for you know.
Quote from: Eva Marie on May 25, 2016, 09:35:37 AM
Keri-
Come on out to SoCal dear - the weather is generally perfect, there are no tornadoes, the laws are on your side, we have a rocking trans pride event in June, the pacific ocean is less than an hour away as are the mountains, and employers are generally trans friendly - you'll fit right in :) Just bring money. Lot's and lot's of money. $ 2320 is the standard for a two bedroom apartment.
It's been so many years for me now (13 actually), that I honestly don't remember my old life from before. If I look at an old picture (and there aren't many left anymore) I am wowed at how different I turned out. I also felt a sense of phew I'm glad this is over with, all those years ago.
I find that I like beautiful she males as well as men...living in Bangkok I get to experience this side of life. For those who don't know the finer definitions a she male is a tg that has kept her penis..she is absolutely gorgeous and will be in the Ms Tiffiny World contest next year. In addition to great sex she gives me beauty advice and how to be more feminine...the way I walk, sit and the way to talk..she did my makeup in my profile photo...
Quote from: FrancisAnn on June 04, 2016, 06:55:05 AM
Noleen, I so agree about taking your man deep throat when he is ready to come. It feels great to just swallow him completely all the way down as he unloads. There is just something so nice about that feeling for him to be as far inside you as possible. Then later lick him so clean. I so enjoy it & any man just loves it. How nice it is to be a woman & enjoy men.
amen sister..
Sometimes when we are watching tv and I am bored, I randomly start stroking him while we watch.. then when he is at attention, I give him some oral sex.. that normally gets him horny and I get a good seeing to later ;D The other day he took me in the kitchen, I was doing dishes and he came up behind and lifted my skirt up, and began playing with me.. we just had a quickie with my pressed against the counter.. and then afterward I carried on doing the dishes like nothing happened.
Being in a committed relationship, we stopped using condoms, not like I can fall pregnant, and we are both disease free. The feeling of his manhood skin on skin feels amazing.
My man says he loves my vagina and is impressed with the job the doc did with it.
:police:
Forum rules people... keep the explicit sex talk for the sexuality section.
Quote from: Ms Grace on June 04, 2016, 05:55:15 PM
:police:
Forum rules people... keep the explicit sex talk for the sexuality section.
Oh girl, we're just having fun, what is the harm? It's just normal girl talk about men & sex. It's no different that talking about what shade of nail polish we like or some new recipe or how cute the new pair of shoes look. We're all big girls. Some enjoy men more than others, I'm so glad to see some nice sisters that enjoy men.
Quote from: Keri - formerly known as Dodie on May 25, 2016, 11:31:56 AM
Thanks Girls,
I really appreciate the responses..
In reality, looks like a move is in my future.. most likely to CA. Its expensive there but I could get a job ahead of time.. There has never been a better sales person alive than me..
At least in CA I could relax and go for it.
I also love music.. I live for concerts and clubs and dancing.
Oklahoma is ok.. but nothing like CA.
I also want to get involved in politics and kick some asses..
So who knows.
Anyway, still trying to get my feet on the ground. Right now I trip every few steps...and sometimes I fall.
Somehow we keep getting up.. that is what counts.
Keri
Seattle is a great place to live, is mostly tolerant if you stay west of the Cascades, and has less yearly rainfall than Atlanta GA. We just get rain every day. It also has a very active music scene with small venues all over Seattle.
QuoteQuote from: Ms Grace on June 04, 2016, 05:55:15 PM
:police:
Forum rules people... keep the explicit sex talk for the sexuality section.
Oh girl, we're just having fun, what is the harm? It's just normal girl talk about men & sex. It's no different that talking about what shade of nail polish we like or some new recipe or how cute the new pair of shoes look. We're all big girls. Some enjoy men more than others, I'm so glad to see some nice sisters that enjoy men.
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The reason we don't wish to move this thread is because the posts are off topic and don't belong in this thread. Stay on topic or move to the appropriate area for your discussion. :police: