Susan's Place Transgender Resources

The only support I had for 25 months of transition was my therapist than my niece and now also my sister. I'm doing good.

Sort of alone, my girlfriend accepts my transition, but truly, I feel alone in this, which to this point I'm ok with this, to a point. I'm also in grad school which puts my thoughts of transition way further back in my mind,and I may have a promotion at work and in a new dept, which further puts it in deeper in my mind. I know that when I finish school and am settle in my possible new job/position, then these feelings may re emerge stronger, but I'll deal with it when it comes up.

My 2 cents.

I feel I had a lot of support during the lead up to going full time and for several months past that point. For me, support means being able to talk about things that may be bothering me and general acceptance. And while I don't have acceptance from all corners in my family I have it have from the one person who matters most to me, my mother. But I should say that I also see this site as a massive form of support.

So far 100% alone, but only offline. My support team is here, comprised of all the little 1s and 0s flying through the interwebs from members of sites like this. Wouldn't have even started without y'all  :-*

I was supported by my mum and family

I've got no idea how you do it without support

Sadly none in terms of being able to talk to people outside of speaking my therapist once or twice. I think the biggest struggle is the refusal of government in Australia to help people who need to transition instead stating it is all cosmetic or  non-necessary.

I am a mental health social worker and even my own body of professional's refuse to do anything, even when I stood up and stated the AASW needs to bring medicare and the government in line by creating public debate. Their reply "thank you for stating this, now moving alone. Violence against women in Australia."

-sorry got of topic :(

Quote from: Sarah leah on May 25, 2016, 07:24:08 AM
Sadly none in terms of being able to talk to people outside of speaking my therapist once or twice. I think the biggest struggle is the refusal of government in Australia to help people who need to transition instead stating it is all cosmetic or  non necessary.

I am a social worker and even my own body of professional are to scared to do anything when I stood up and stated the AASW needs to bring medicare and the government in line by creating public debate.

-sorry got of topic :(

We are a backwards country at times

I could not agree more.

sorry to hear this . I'm in the US and I'm lucky to be close to a LGBT health center. My therapist who's not with the health center , but with a hospital acknowledges the lack of understanding in the general medical community on transgender issues to the point of almost being non existent .

I had a lot of support growing up from immediate family, cousins, etc. I did not have many friends growing up because of my parent's wanting to protect me, but the few I had were supporting.  As a result, I pay it back by always being there and helping others when I can, however I can.

I feel that I have a lot of support from my partner and friends. My brothers and sisters, not so much. When I transitioned full time in my winter community, my partner and I had lots of support. The women on my tennis team have been great! As for family, I guess time is what is needed. I am not loosing sleep over it! I too have relied on the support of everyone who has contributed here on this site. Whenever I need information or am down, I know that I can come here.

I've been transitioning for a while now. When I first started, I didn't have a lot of support, but I also didn't have much opposition. Now I have a lot of support. My 3 biggest supporters are my fiancée, best friend, and my son. I really do feel blessed for that.

I have support where it counts, but nothing overwhelming.

I am one very lucky lady.  I have received support from just about everyone in my life.  With only a couple of exceptions my who family has been supportive and helpful.  My children have been fantastic and very loving towards me.  My evil step-mother and an uncle are the only ones giving me any problem.  At work I have had a pretty seamless transition.  I have known a lot of the people I work with for over 25 years.  They slip up every now and then on a pronoun but they all have been very respectful and happy for me.  There were no issues with the restrooms nor were there any issues about other things.  It was like one day he left and the next day she came in.  I am in contact with many of my high school and college classmates and they are almost all offering support. 

I really hope that my experience will become the norm for all people who go through transition.  It is not complicated and it is not something to be feared.  If people would just respect us as a fellow human being the world would be a much better place. 

At times I hate to post anything about how well things are going for me because I know so many of my brothers and sisters here are going through struggles. I am making it my mission in life to try to make the world a more open and understanding place when it comes to transgender people.  After all we didn't choose to be this way, we were born this way.  Education and legal protections are what is needed for our community.

I'm alone. And so when I have FFS I have to do it all alone and it scares me!

I'll soon be finding out. I was worried how my parents would handle it (I had to move back in a couple years ago), but recently I heard my mom discussing something with my nephew about MtF triplets he goes to school with (or, went, as he recently graduated), and my mom said she thought it was great they have supportive parents. And what my sister has put us through and done since she has moved back in, I just don't think my parents are going to be hostile. I probably won't have my dad's support, but my mom's maybe. My siblings I don't count on it. My nieces and nephews I think some will and some won't.
I do worry though about how one of my friends will take it, because she and her family are pretty much my only friends.
But, on the other hand, I am going back to school so I'll probably find at least some support there.

I was pretty much on my own for the toughest part of my life. I broke. I finally got back on track and moved from Utah. Once I had relocated in California, I made some friends who were going through transition. That was a life saver for me. I'll always be grateful for them.

I'm very much alone except for Susans and my therapist.

Quote from: clawdeenwolf on May 25, 2016, 07:51:23 PM
I'm alone. And so when I have FFS I have to do it all alone and it scares me!

I am alone and will never tell my parent. She is a walking radio and can never keep secrets.
I am going for my jaw surgery soon to fix my underbite which she slightly disapproves, so i can already imagine the outcome if i come out to her, so i got a bank loan instead of borrowing from her.

I was very much alone the past 3 years for the start of my transition ,but I have just reunited with a sister and her children that I thought I would never see again after 20 years. Miracles do happen.

I think once again we're approaching a classic Bell Curve. Not to derail or anything.

Surprisingly, I have been supported by literally every single person that I know.

The second I realized that I was a transgender woman, I came out to everybody (this was months before I even attempted to present as female, let alone starting HRT or anything). My boss at work asked me to just please let her know when/if I'd like her to start using a different name and pronouns, and no one there has made a mistake once since I did. The first time I came into work presenting, she complimented me and said that I look just like a girl. I also managed to get hired at a second job somewhere else as an out trans woman. No one there has ever made a mistake in regards to pronouns either ... And just to be clear, I do not pass as female. People who do not know I'm trans (customers, etc.) refer to me as male 99% of the time, even when I'm wearing full makeup and a dress showing off my bra ...

Anyway ... My daughter's mother (we were already separated before) has been doing everything she can to get our daughter to stop calling me "Dada" and instead refer to me by my new name, etc. Our daughter is only four, so it's been a slow process, but she uses correct pronouns now about 50% of the time.

I have gotten into three different romantic relationships as an out trans woman. The first was with a woman who I went to high school with (so who knew me from before), the second was with a polyamorous MF couple, and the most recent is with a wonderful young lady. The first two ended for unrelated reasons (essentially incompatibility), but I have been in the relationship I'm in now for 5 months and it is absolutely lovely. She still lives with her family and even all of them refer to me with correct pronouns, etc.

My family, my friends ... It's all the same story. :)

I hope this post doesn't come off as bragging, I just want people to know that it can go well!

I got minimal support financially from family, they paid my therapist visits but that's it.
Socially they don't support me at all but they tolerate it.
As for my cousin she is very supportive and so is the boyfriend so I'm very lucky to have them :) .
As for friends they support me but not too much I feel.

Kinda comes down that money is a major issue for me now but I'll get through it somehow.

yes, money

I like this thread. It's nice to see the positive side of transitioning.

I'm also one of the lucky ones. My friends have been accepting and supportive from the beginning. The first thing 2 of my girl friends said when I came out was "were going shopping!" I haven't lost a single friend.

I came out to management at work and was supported and told I could transition at my own pace and present how ever I felt comfortable. Later when I announced my transition to my coworkers I received many words of support. Out of 60-70 people only 2 are uncomfortable around me, but even they continue to work with me in a respectable way.

On the home front my family was very accepting. My daughter goes to lunch, dinner and shopping with me. We are now closer than ever. My brothers opened up to me about some of there personal issues.

Personal business people have also been very accepting. Doctors, dentists, attorneys... most have even been curious and very politely asked questions about transitioning and how I'm doing.

I must say this has been and is a much more pleasant experience than I was expecting. It's also moved ahead at a lightning pace. So far I'm very much enjoying it!

 

I too have found that my existing relationships have become much closer if friends and family come around. Before, I was very guarded and secretive. Now, I wear my life on my sleeve with them. It is a great feeling.

Support from my wife and my children has been huge.

Quote from: RobynD on May 26, 2016, 12:56:26 PM
Support from my wife and my children has been huge.

Wow. That is breathtaking. Good for you!

Hello Everyone,

I'm still amazed at the amount of support that I've had since I first began my transition. My siblings, friends, coworkers and managers, my female hormones doctor and my therapist have given me lots of support. The only ones who did not give me any support were my parents. My mom come has come a long way and has compromised on several things but still won't fully support my transition and my dad hasn't come around at all. All I can say is that the support I have gotten from everyone else throughout my transition has more than made up for the lack of support from my parents.

I feel like I do have lots of support in regards to my therapist and the GIC but I do feel quite alone when not with those people. My biggest fear is work. I have a good paying job and worry about jeopardizing that. Of course there are no other teams people here at the office either so I will be alone. It scares me a lot but at the same time I feel it is the right thing to do for me. I feel much more comfortable as a woman than I do as a man although I am only beginning to venture out as Jenny. Strange thing is so many others here talk about how they new that something was different about them from early childhood. I am not sure I can say that. I do remember thinking to myself that I wanted to be a girl at around the age of 5 or 6 and trying on my moms clothing at around 10 but until very recently where I decided I needed to try my wife's clothes, the thought never occurred to me (well maybe a little). At first I thought it was just cross dressing but it has progressed beyond that now. I went to a cross dressers meeting at the GIC and felt totally out of place and then someone suggested that I go to the transitions meeting and I completely felt at home and I felt like everyone there was feeling the same thing I was. I really feel I want to transition but the fear of rejection is really strong, especially at work. I have not started on HRT yet but hope to soon. My doctor put me on T a while back when he determined that my natural T levels were low. It completely threw me for a loop and had to stop taking it.  It defiantly didn't make me feel better. It made me feel worse. That is why I am really interested in finding out how E makes me feel. I have a suspicion it will be a good experience. I am also 52 with male pattern baldness so I question how much the HRT will feminize me. Of course, my in profile picture I am wearing a wig. Thank you all for your support. I hope all is well for you all.


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And of course the support on this site has been wonderful!  Thank yo all!


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I feel it's pretty much me against the world, with support of a fantastic and dedicated doctor and a psy if needed. I do have support from my son and daughter 21 and 20 yo, but I feel they didn't really realize it meant not I was trans, ok so that explains, but more I will be... Well I dont see them often. I have my roommates and this one actually seems to be starting to flirt with me, ironically though, he's very straight, yet open... Yeah, no... I don't really feel supported except from my two professionals who are really great.

Parents were very apprehensive at first, but as time passed, they grew apathetic since it's my body after all. For support system, I have basic support from siblings and a few close friends/teachers. Most people don't even know im transitioning since i still look the same except i've got boobs now.

Well....I feel like I've lost a lot of support lately. Friends that don't want to be around me. Other friends that are now only concerned with getting in my pants now. And now my mom says she doesn't want me to keep taking HRT.  :( Still going to, of course...

I really have all the support I need a long lost sister, a niece and my therapist can't asked for more.

Just the internet.

Quote from: Wild Flower on May 27, 2016, 06:14:30 PM
Just the internet.

*internet hug*

Same here. I don't have any friends. I was disowned by my entire family. I only get emotional support online and from self-reliance.

 :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug:

can't find the hug gif
:-*
I really appreciate the support I get here, sometimes just reading

Quote from: Soli on May 28, 2016, 10:17:26 PM
can't find the hug gif
:-*
I really appreciate the support I get here, sometimes just reading

6th row , 11th column

I had lot's of support from family, friends, therapist, and co workers...

I voted in the majority in this poll

C -

It's wonderful that so many people have supportive families.  My story is different.  My family has disappointingly missed the mark and screwed it up entirely it so I left them behind.  It's honestly their loss and I'm better for it.  I was the people pleasing caretaker and because of their rejection, I've finally figured out how to take care of me instead of them.  It's funny because I always thought when people said, "you lose friends and family when you transition" I never imagined it would be me walking away.  I do have support from one close longtime friend and roommate/guard dog (he looks like a bulldog in a good way), a neighbor who is trans as well, a therapist, MD PC, and Susan's org. 

helps to have some

I have support of my Bff, she is a cis-woman

She actually gave me the courage to go through with my transition.. She taught me how to be a woman.. she helped me with developing my style and look.
She also taught me

how to walk in heels
apply makeup
apply nail polish/style my nails
shave my legs and pits (I was a real beginner)
female mannerisms (crossing my legs when I sit etc). This helped me pass in public.

she actually pierced my ears, (only my first set of holes. I now have 3 holes in each ear).. I was too shy to go to the piercing shop and I wanted to wear earrings ... We bought a piercing kit online.

She also went with me for moral support when I had SRS..

She is truly amazing..   

Quote from: noleen111 on March 28, 2019, 09:18:59 AM
I have support of my Bff, she is a cis-woman

She actually gave me the courage to go through with my transition.. She taught me how to be a woman.. she helped me with developing my style and look.
She also taught me

how to walk in heels
apply makeup
apply nail polish/style my nails
shave my legs and pits (I was a real beginner)
female mannerisms (crossing my legs when I sit etc). This helped me pass in public.

she actually pierced my ears, (only my first set of holes. I now have 3 holes in each ear).. I was too shy to go to the piercing shop and I wanted to wear earrings ... We bought a piercing kit online.

She also went with me for moral support when I had SRS..

She is truly amazing..

That's awesome !! I love to read stories like this, and having such a great friend to be there with you.

Best

C -

I have plenty of support.  Nobody is going to hand it to me though, so much work and planning! 

Fully supported by my family is the most important thing for me regardless of/lack of support from elsewhere.
They are my strength, my rock. x

This is very fresh for me, because I am just now coming out to family & friends. I have found two flavors of support. The first being Supportive and encouraging and the 2nd being supportive, then of course you have the "could care less" group and then we have what I like to call the "Hell and damnation group"  Most of my support is the first two. My current spouse is supportive but for many reasons is not encouraging and I don't blame her because she is loosing her husband so it's hard (Another story another time) My significant other (yes part of the story for another time) has been nothing but amazing. Teaching me everything there is to being a woman, reminding me about my medications, dr appointments, Voice practice...  helping schedule, going with me to every appointment..  the list goes on. I am VERY fortunate to have her. I have a few friends I would put in this category and it's a wonderful feeling to have them. The rest are more of the supportive. All want the best for me and empathize and it has been nice talking to them finally about everything I have had to hide my entire life. The "Could care less" group...  lol hey I'll take it. I don't want any special treatment or for them to change how they interactive with me :)  The last group, well so far I have had only one of those, and of all people the mother of my biggest supporter.  It hurts but I also respect her opinions and hopefully in time I can earn her love and support.

My girlfriend is supportive and her family ranges from accepting to indifferent.  My former coworkers were almost all accepting.  My current ones either don't know or don't care, but it's academia so we're all a little odd here.

My family?  Let's just say that feeding their own religious ego (and bragging about it) is far more important to them than family.  I haven't heard from my sister in nearly a year and my father has made no attempt to contact me since I came out a couple years ago.  My brother is an angry failure of a man who lashes out and I make a convenient target.  My mother is the ultimate holier than thou wife of a preacher hypocrite who condemns me when she's not busy condemning others for sins she has committed herself. 

Thankfully not everyone I am related to is a jerk, I have a couple of accepting cousins and one aunt and uncle. 

All of my old friends have been really accepting, even the religious ones.

Definitely a mixed bag

The only place I get no support  from is  at  work.   I work at at a call  center here in charlotte nc, and if you are not "femme"  enough people  will try to undercut you, and tell  you that you are a man.  The trans community there  is extremely toxic.  I know I  am not  a "femme" and that should  be okay.   I live for me  nobody else.

Quote from: mako9802 on April 23, 2019, 01:03:19 PM
The only place I get no support  from is  at  work.   I work at at a call  center here in charlotte nc, and if you are not "femme"  enough people  will try to undercut you, and tell  you that you are a man.  The trans community there  is extremely toxic.  I know I  am not  a "femme" and that should  be okay.   I live for me  nobody else.

That is just so sad.
Work is where we spend majority of our day,week, year.
Its the place where we seem to see and chat to the same people every day whilst there. They are like family.

But as you say.. you live for yourself and nobody else. That is the most important thing anyway. x