I've been running across a lot of problems I've been offered to help someone and have basically a job
and my mother wants me to help out with something with a bunch of others and i'm starting to realize i'm to scared
because i don't want to help people who don't know i'm trans and i don't want to be called "She" and nobody around me corrects themselves when they are using the wrong pronouns. Okay i could correct it but the problem is i don't know how some of these people will react to me being transgender and i get super scared. Honestly, i don't even want to answer some questions i'm not ready yet to answer questions or talk about me being transgender to strangers.
So my problem is when i'm getting these opportunity's i'm saying no or straying from them because i'm scared of having to answer questions that i know i'll mess up and it scares me because i feel like for me to answer a question i'm also answering things for my community and that comes naturally, and it scares me because i don't really know what is okay and not okay for people to ask besides very personal obvious questions that shouldn't be asked.
Other then that i don't got a clue! and i get worried that if i say something wrong or if i answer something wrong i'll make others look bad and i don't want that for them or for myself. I'm also missing opportunity's inside my life because i'm to scared to speak up so soon and i just want to get used to things with myself before i do.
I just find myself avoiding jobs and opportunity's like that because of who i am...and because i don't feel ready?
You know, what do i do when i'm not ready to be open about it outside of family and i know my family will easily talk to e as "She" and i don't want to be "She" that and i don't want to fake who i am either. I just want to live my life but i'm scared of questions and assumptions. I even have a job i can take this summer but i'm scared to take it because i'm trans and i told them i was genderfluid its not that i have to correct them on that i'm not scared of correcting that and saying i'm a guy. its that everyone there knows me as she because they new me as a kid. I'd basically be outing myself to everyone...