Iv'e noticed with myself being called "He" feels wicked strange if i'm called he by a stranger and it sounds like they mean it i become very happy and feel welcomed. But if it sounds like they don't really care and there almost slipping up i don't feel comfortable and i can't connect to being called "He" it also feels strange to be called he by my parents when (they do make the effort and that is rare) maybe its because i feel they don't really see me as a guy? i'm not sure, but i do know sometimes it feels good and sometimes it doesn't. Like if i'm called he by a stranger i feel so happy. It's a odd mixture and even some times people mean it and say it and i'm still token back a little. Don't get me wrong i feel and see myself as a guy. It's odd because i'm wanting people to call me he and i don't want to ever be called she again in my life. It's just strange....it's a questionable "What is this feeling/what's going on" that i have sometimes.
I've had this. I even wish my dad would go back to calling me by my birth name. I still feel afraid of being 'found out' if a stranger calls me he. I also don't feel any connection to male pronouns or my new name. I still feel I'm lying when I have to sign my name. I think it's just because I'm not used to it and it still being new to me. I hope when I get a job and only known as a guy it'll just feel normal.
Of course I feel much better than when people referred to me by my birth name and pronouns but it's still feels odd. There's the added confusion of me being slightly agender; so maybe I'll never feel comfortable because 'they' pronouns would fit me best.
Good, it's not just me.
The first time I was called she really freaked me out. Like "what am I doing??" freaked out. Then I took as mental chill pill (figuratively) and thought it was kind cool.
Last weekend I was called mam by a waiter, twice. It surprised me since I was wearing my cycling clothes, no make up, not even a female cut jersey. Maybe because my hair is longer than the average value middle aged guy he figured I was a girl. Anyway, I kinda found it odd, but welcoming.
However he was a total stranger. I have yet to have any one close to me use female pronouns but when they do, I expect to feel a part of me will have died.
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After a lifetime of acting like that would be the worse thing ever, it can be tough to adjust. Over time it'll become natural. I see my old name now and even that seems foreign to me.
Quote from: Emileeeee on June 01, 2016, 07:35:47 AM
After a lifetime of acting like that would be the worse thing ever, it can be tough to adjust. Over time it'll become natural. I see my old name now and even that seems foreign to me.
I hope so it deferentially feels really strange sometimes
I've always had trouble getting used to things though so who knows that could be apart of it too.
I'd agree/can relate though even with me not my name so much but "She" feels worse.
Quote from: Elis on June 01, 2016, 06:36:22 AM
I've had this. I even wish my dad would go back to calling me by my birth name. I still feel afraid of being 'found out' if a stranger calls me he. I also don't feel any connection to male pronouns or my new name. I still feel I'm lying when I have to sign my name. I think it's just because I'm not used to it and it still being new to me. I hope when I get a job and only known as a guy it'll just feel normal.
Of course I feel much better than when people referred to me by my birth name and pronouns but it's still feels odd. There's the added confusion of me being slightly agender; so maybe I'll never feel comfortable because 'they' pronouns would fit me best.
Yep same the agender part of me also creates confusion i've thought about they pronouns myself but
no pronouns at the moment feel completely right and she is a for sure no way in hell!
i'm sure over time things will feel normal like you're hoping for same will probably happen to me it just seems like
it takes to long sometimes :)
Quote from: pj on June 01, 2016, 07:30:45 AM
Good, it's not just me.
The first time I was called she really freaked me out. Like "what am I doing??" freaked out. Then I took as mental chill pill (figuratively) and thought it was kind cool.
Last weekend I was called mam by a waiter, twice. It surprised me since I was wearing my cycling clothes, no make up, not even a female cut jersey. Maybe because my hair is longer than the average value middle aged guy he figured I was a girl. Anyway, I kinda found it odd, but welcoming.
However he was a total stranger. I have yet to have any one close to me use female pronouns but when they do, I expect to feel a part of me will have died.
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You got to love them moments, i love them strangers say the correct pronouns it always makes the day seem more worth everything for some strange reason. Also Good luck with the people close to you.
I remember for me when people on the road called me "He" it felt awesome i told my best friend next time it happened to let it happen and basically said not to correct it. :D
I was referred to as he the other day for the first time and it was hard to not hug the person haha
It does feel weird, especially if I don't know if they know that I'm trans. Then I'm wondering if they think I'm much younger than i am because that keeps happening... I always want to say 'I'm a boy and i'm 24' along with my name when i meet people, so that I know that they're not trying to figure it out.
Quote from: Midnightstar on June 01, 2016, 11:43:18 AM
Yep same the agender part of me also creates confusion i've thought about they pronouns myself but
no pronouns at the moment feel completely right and she is a for sure no way in hell!
i'm sure over time things will feel normal like you're hoping for same will probably happen to me it just seems like
it takes to long sometimes :)
Agender. :) I identify as agender, so this made me happy.
Don't call me a girl, call me a boy and I'll be temporarily happy because at least it's not a girl. Call me a they/them or just my name...perfect.
I will admit there are certain situations in which I would prefer to be read as a boy by the public. It does catch me off guard when I hear "he" or "him" in reference, especially when I'm around people I'm not out to. Then I get all awkward, chicken out and smile before walking away. :P
Yeah, that feeling was one of several that tipped me over to identifying as nonbinary. She didn't feel right. He felt WRONG, though. I prefer them/they because it frees me from thinking about how the pronoun fits. It's a struggle to get people to use nonbinary pronouns though.
Quote from: sparrow on June 01, 2016, 09:44:42 PM
Yeah, that feeling was one of several that tipped me over to identifying as nonbinary. She didn't feel right. He felt WRONG, though. I prefer them/they because it frees me from thinking about how the pronoun fits. It's a struggle to get people to use nonbinary pronouns though.
Yea it is, Iv'e tried that a long time back and it just never worked nobody got the understanding to why and
some people it was just hard for them to constantly switch things up. The good thing for me is sometimes it feels okay so i can deal with he sometime's i prefer they and it doesn't feel great but i put up with everything.
I thought about getting myself something to show my pronouns on the days i feel he or they but that would just be a struggle also, so i don't really know what i'll do in the future but i'm sure i'll figure it out eventually :)
Quote from: sigsi on June 01, 2016, 09:01:12 PM
Agender. :) I identify as agender, so this made me happy.
Don't call me a girl, call me a boy and I'll be temporarily happy because at least it's not a girl. Call me a they/them or just my name...perfect.
I will admit there are certain situations in which I would prefer to be read as a boy by the public. It does catch me off guard when I hear "he" or "him" in reference, especially when I'm around people I'm not out to. Then I get all awkward, chicken out and smile before walking away. :P
I'm glad my post could make you happy :)
And yep, same i understand that to well sometimes.