Today, June 5th, 2016 marks my fourth anniversary of joining Susan's and starting on my transition journey. Last year's anniversary write-up (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,190015.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,190015.0.html)) was a pretty big deal because I was merely three weeks post-op from FFS on that date and had considered that the last major hurdle in my transition because I was finally out full-time. While I kind of treated it like a triumphant marathon finish, there was more to come in this epic journey and there still will be.
When I got through my surgery I was able to relax substantially, and I committed to just chill out the rest of the year and not pressure myself to tackle any more new challenges yet. I've still been doing weekly electrolysis to this day and it takes way too much of my free time outside of work, not to mention my money. Complete healing of my face from FFS actually took quite a while, and with that, along with hormones still doing their magic, I'd still been seeing my final face develop slowly throughout the remainder of 2015.
Recently I hit the anniversary of my FFS, and I finally wrote out the whole story for everyone to read. (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,209362.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,209362.0.html)) It was an intensely emotional experience revisiting that time in every last detail and following my recovery in daily photographs I'd taken. I realized that I was still carrying emotional baggage from the event, and living it over again, tears and all, helped me greatly to move forward fully.
Over the past year there have been many people now that have only known me as a woman and don't know any different. Things have gone remarkably smoothly, particularly at work in that respect. There was one particular thing that happened which forced me to re-assess my personal view of my progress and how much I may still have been holding onto the past and not fully believing in my new self. I had the unusual opportunity to be able to tell someone who had not known about my transition what I'd gone through. A few months before I'd had a long one-on-one conversation with her about general stuff at work. She said that from that first conversation she'd never have guessed I wasn't a (cis) woman and that she only learned about it long after the fact through someone else! I was shocked because I still felt like I was far more obvious than that, particularly in terms of my voice.
Through that conversation I learned that I still needed to grow my own perception of myself and how much I've truly changed. It's so easy to forget that when you're seeing that person in the mirror every day and hyper-over-analysing. I received an extraordinary gift that day - indisputable proof that I actually pass as a woman without question (at least to most people). At four years in it finally struck me that I'm believable, and with that I believe in my own womanhood almost completely now.
2016 is still a big deal for me. I've finally come out to all my relatives and been fully accepted! Some time this year I will actually meet most of them again for the first time presenting as a woman to them. I have absolutely no fear any more about this and now I'm actually really excited! Also coming up, hopefully this year, is proper legal name and gender change. At the start of the year I at least got a new photo ID so my picture isn't seven years out of date.
My mom is now so much more comfortable with me and often helps me shop for clothes. It makes a huge difference to have a second set of eyes and a second opinion. I found a beautiful new pair of summer shoes. I also fulfilled a transition-long dream by finding a flattering summer dress, the first in my wardrobe. It feels like a rite of passage as a young woman. Mom helped me build the complete outfit, for which she is quite proud of herself, and she says (and believes) I look really cute in it! Helping the situation is that HRT is still changing my body shape, with my waist just now hitting an all time low of a clean 29 inches - that's three inches less than when I started transition. I only measured again after it was obvious looking in the mirror how much it has changed. My entire image is simply more refined now, and it all adds up to "Woman"!
Overall I'm feeling great and life is normal. I'm healed, healthy and happy. More importantly, I'm accepted by everyone. There's not much more I could ask for!
My 4th year here was in May, I love this place! So much love and help 😊
Happy Anniversary; I'm glad to know everything is going really well for you!
Congratulations Violet. It has been a long and most interesting journey you have shared. Nice to hear of your success, acceptance and sense of arrival.
Congrats, and thanks for sharing!
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