Received a letter from my specialist yesterday and it went something like this..
" after receiving a letter from Dr J I noted that you prefer to be addressed as Elizabeth so have changed your records accordingly...."
My specialist works for a Private Hospital attached to a public hospital. They share some facilities and patient files. I am not sure but I expect the change he has made to flow through to the rest of my medical records. I attend this hospital for treatment on a regular basis. The chances are very high to almost certain that the information will flow to the various agencies I have contact with. From the private hospital to the public hospital and becomes part of my Public Hospital file.
The Dr who wrote this is one of the "Good Guys" and has gone well above what is expected in order to ensure I get good treatment. I came out to him about 6 months ago and suspect he thought he was doing the right thing by me even though I did tell him I would let him know when to make any changes as to how he addresses me. I sincerely believe that there was no malicious intent on his behalf.
So have I been outed? it kind of feels a bit that way but not really. I don't want to cause a stink about it simply because I think it was my Dr caring and I don't want to professionally embarrass him. I guess it really isn't that big of a deal just a few months ahead of time. I am not full time yet and wanted to get a few more things sorted befoer I did. My very rough plan was for early next year.
Maybe I am being a bit precious and oversensitive...what do you think.
Liz
I kept the 'trans' label off all of my medical records until just last year. I have one doctor who insisted on putting it in there. Now every time I see any of my doctors my file is delivered with a cover sheet with the transsexual status clearly indicated. All the staff can see it.
We live in a small community and my neighbors' daughter works there. She's seen it. My neighbors now go out of their way to not talk to me. Two years ago, they asked me to take care of their house plants while they were on vacation for a month. BUT they were also good friends of my husband who left me for another woman. It might just be that they think I drove him away.
In any case, I don't care anymore. I really don't. There was a time when my insurance could have been cancelled for it. Not anymore. That was long ago.
So did they out you? It doesn't sound like they tried to do anything but help you. That's what I'd run with.
Dear Liz,
It sounds like it was well intentioned on their part. I think, if you are like me, that you have been hiding so long, keeping the secret so long that you will find it hard at times to finally let it go. I had to get used to the idea that coming out to anyone also meant I no longer controlled that information solely. It was both scary and exhilarating all at the same time. In my opinion, a big part of transitioning has to do with giving up the shame and denial but also the safety of being in hiding. I hope it doesn't bother you too much that the timing isn't quite the way you planned.
Good luck!
Moni
Medical offices... Geez, can't they get their acts together?
I got outed today, in public, by the Kaiser pharmacy. My records all indicate I'm a transwoman (HMOs and their electronic records...), and my assigned gender is "Male[2]". Yeah, a footnote that says I'm Michelle, a "transwoman (pre-op)". Still, most of the staff is trained to see and respect the footnote. Everyone in the Psych department uses the female name and pronoun. The endocrinology department stumbled a bit, but they were making an honest effort.
And then there's the pharmacy... I'm there to pick up my spironolactone and estradiol (guess what these are for...), so I check in, and wait for my name to appear on the board, at which time I'm supposed to queue up to pay and get the Blessing of the Pharmacist.
So I'm waiting, and this stentorian voice calls out "Michael P!, Michael P!" Uh oh. Now, I looked pretty much like my avatar. So... I turn and walk over to the counter. "Was someone just calling for Michael P?" Pretty much everyone is watching now. I'm getting clocked left and right. "It's French, and pronounced Michelle P." Pharmacy dude bro is confused. "Are you Michael P?" "Oui, Michelle P, s'il vous plait". Pharmacy dude bro stops shouting for Michael and gets his boss, a tiny little pharmacist who saves the day with "Oh, you're picking up for Michael. OK."
Like Cindi says, though, they can't cancel my insurance. They'll just have to deal with us when we show up. Sometimes I think we need to be more "out there" and educating the public about our existance, rather than hiding. That has painful downsides, though.
I have Kaiser as well, everyone I have had dealings with there has been respectful and have used my choice of names since I asked them to. My Endo took the cervical exam off my record as something I needed to have done by making a note in it that I was born without a cervix. One thing I do have to talk to him about though is that my Climara prescription reads " Apply X# Patches every 7 days for Transgender Hormonal Therapy". I have been using the same Kaiser pharmacy for years most of the clerks there know me and have watched my transformation over the last couple of years as I went from miserable recluse to happy trans woman, several have made comments along those lines.
I went to my doctors office to officially change to the LGBT clinic. I told him I was transgender which I never mentioned in that office , but had mentioned it in the emergency room at the hospital when the nurse kept looking at me trying to figure out if I was male or female. When I said I was trans he said yea, I see that on your records.
Thanks for the replies ladies..I have been away for a week so just catching up on things now.
Its a weird one for me...I want to present fulltime as soon as possible but I am not ready yet. Probably another 6 months. I don't want to make a big deal out of it and embarrass my Dr as I do believe it was done with my best intentions at heart, however misguided it may be. There are now a number of places that I can now present as Liz where they know including my hospital so maybe I should just "get with the program" and begin to seriously look at going full-time. I did want my hair to grow out and to put a big hole in my electrolysis needs...this should be done by Xmass. I am not sure what I need to do to set the date for going full time or even what things I should have in place before doing it. I am getting kind of fed up being androgynous in appearance and I think it is lulling my partner into a false sense of security that things will just continue on the way they are.
I head off to NZ next week and will be looking to make some significant changes when I get back, time to move this baby forward. Apart from extended family everyone who needs to know, now knows.
Liz
My coming out was when I ordered my breast forms to go to my po box under my daughter's name. Supposedly they couldn't ship to a po box. So instead of looking for who owned the box they looked up my daughter's address and delivered them to her. It was quite a surprise. Luckily I convinced her. To let me send them back and tell the perpetrator what a sick joke it was. Lucky again that I could choose when to come out to the kids. Just about everybody that means something to me knows. My wife is the best and I am blessed to have a life partner instead of a sex object.
I know it is a bit of a cliche but perhaps you could look at it as a crisis in the chinese sense. i.e. threat and opportunity are the two chinese characters that make up their character for crisis. Turn the threat into an opportunity to accelerate your programme. Very best of luck with your extended family.
B
Quote from: BirlPower on June 18, 2016, 01:19:11 PM
I know it is a bit of a cliche but perhaps you could look at it as a crisis in the chinese sense. i.e. threat and opportunity are the two chinese characters that make up their character for crisis. Turn the threat into an opportunity to accelerate your programme. Very best of luck with your extended family.
B
Nice...I do like that...Hmmmm in light of my other post about my holiday, this could be the way to look at it and maybe even the approach to take.
Liz