Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Youth talk => Topic started by: Dragoncalls on June 20, 2016, 09:47:05 PM

Title: Afraid of transitioning because....
Post by: Dragoncalls on June 20, 2016, 09:47:05 PM
I'm hesitant to start transitioning, or even come out to my family for a bunch of reasons, mostly because I am afraid that they won't accept me or love me in the same way. An exceptionally large part of this fear is for the future if/when i transition. I'm afraid that no matter what, even if I pass, I'll always be 'that transgender person' instead of the individual I am. I want people to think of my personality and my accomplishments when they meet me, as being transgender is just a small part of what makes me myself! Is this something I should worry about, or am I just making something out of nothing?
Title: Re: Afraid of transitioning because....
Post by: Jacqueline on June 21, 2016, 02:14:51 PM
Dragoncalls,

Welcome to the site.

Fear is  a main fact of most people's lives. It is sometimes more prevalent in trans people than others. It seems we have so much to lose (and maybe to gain). It is hard to live as an "other". That is why the bestie of fear is denial. I can't say you can't worry about being seen as the trans person. However, I can say that living in fear makes life just survival, not a life.

I am glad you found our site. There are a lot of people of all ages and experiences on here. I am a little old to be in the  youth section but there are a number of younger members. I imagine they will interact with you as well.

I also want to share some links with you. They are mostly welcome information and the rules that govern the site. If you have not had a chance to look through them, please take a moment:

Things that you should read




Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
Standard Terms & Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html)
Photo, avatars, & signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)

Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in.

With warmth,

Joanna
Title: Re: Afraid of transitioning because....
Post by: objectionyourhonour on June 26, 2016, 06:23:25 PM
Hi Dragoncalls (cool username by the way),

It's natural to be a bit nervous, as a young guy who was in your position a few years ago I can say that what you're feeling is totally normal and understandable, transitioning (and coming out) is a big step in your life and obviously it'll bring some anxiety.

BUT, trans or not, you are who you are and people who are worth knowing will love you for that. After the novelty of coming out has worn off most of them probably won't really care if you're trans, certainly the people who matter shouldn't judge you for it. When you pass, only the people you want to know need know so that will make it even easier to be seen as the individual you are, not just as 'the trans person'.

You've already been brave by questioning your gender, challenging social typecasting and realising who you are, the courage to come out and transition is there! Attitudes about us are changing and you can help that, we are individuals and as young people we are fortunate to be living in more accepting times. You are and can be whoever you want, so don't worry!

Hope this helped a bit, best of luck!

Jay