it does for me.
Absolutely. Looking your best is like smiling often, it comes out positive for you and those around you.
I'm curious who's going to say no... I'd like what they're smoking.
Oh, absolutely.
Gender presentation informs and reinforces gender identity. If I present my best appearance as my true self, it is very reassuring to my inner self. My dysphoria fades away, not merely from the initial burst of euphoria at being myself, but in a persistent effect that lasts over as many days as I can continue to present myself properly.
On the other hand, if I present as well as possible in the gender opposite my identity, I am not a happy camper, no matter how my appearance is praised by others. At the back of my mind, that little sensation of "But, you're wrong" is constantly nagging and eroding my self esteem and confidence.
So yeah, outside appearance definitely impacts how I feel on the inside. If it didn't I've have no need for all this therapy, not to mention my wardrobe and cosmetics. ;)
Definitely!
barbie~~
It probably shouldn't... but it does!!
I can't resist the pull of feeling pretty.
The reason I asked this question was because I have noticed that my male face and voice influences how I feel on the inside in terms of gender.
I have even noticed my identity molding around my male* body. (I sometimes feel like a manly woman!)
Nothing to add on my end, but I just noticed this:
Quote from: highlight on July 01, 2016, 11:15:10 AM
"I'm twenty and I'm an idiot."
Have no clue or opinion to it's validity, but it made me LoL~
Dressed in my lady clothes. Yes I am very aware what I am wearing. As a guy. I just don't care. Everything is so bland.
Yes, of course.
I'm quite vain, and I don't care whether it's shallow or not.
It's not.
I like to look my best at all times, that in turn helps me on the inside.
In a way, I'm kind of the opposite. My outward appearance is generally a reflection of how I feel on the inside. I usually feel lousy on the inside and that causes me to be very apathetic about my outward appearance. I'll go out looking awful and I often don't care. I imagine if I felt better about myself, I would then work to improve my appearance.
My outward appearance is more a function of time than mood. If I'm rushed, not so good. If I have time, I look very good. If I'm feeling bad, taking time to look good helps.
But, a smile is the best wardrobe article there is. Sometimes, it just isn't there.
Hugs,
Jen
yes lately to a great degree. :'(
Yes - absolutely. Since I am only part time the difference in feeling is much more prevalent. If I can't dress up for a day or two, I do notice some odd urge to be more Sarah. So yes - being Sarah makes me feel a whole lot better. I am calmer, more focused and just a boat load happier :-)
Quote from: highlight on July 01, 2016, 11:15:10 AM
The reason I asked this question was because I have noticed that my male face and voice influences how I feel on the inside in terms of gender.
I have even noticed my identity molding around my male* body. (I sometimes feel like a manly woman!)
No doubt I feel "Different" when presenting as female vs my typical male mode. When presenting as female I feel complete, how I feel on the inside matches completely what I see on the outside. I feel good to great about being me. Especially when I feel I look pretty damn good for an old bat.
It is also a different "Different" then years ago when I first started to take the trans-beast on for real. Almost a reversal of sorts. A few years back I couldn't take seeing myself in a mirror. I didn't like my body. I didn't like being me. Seeing a woman looking back in the mirror gave me some hope, some sense of being alive and able to have at least one "dream" that someday I just might feel good being me.
After years of work, shedding a lifetime of guilt and shame, and some better living through pharmacology, even in male mode I can feel good about being me when I look in the mirror. Most of the time I see me. I see a me that found joy. Certainly different from the past.
Both of my therapist had asked me "What would be different if Joanne showed up to work tomorrow?". Both times the instant response was nothing besides wearing a dress and perhaps feeling more complete or whole.
The real reversal I think is how now my insides always feel good whether I'm presenting as female or not, vs the insides only feeling good when I was presenting female.
Wonder if many are probably like me? I went from really disliking any picture I took of myself as a guy and really just kept 1 for years to really liking how some of my pics looked as a girl.
Yes it does, very much so. On the outside I look like a testosterone ravaged beast and this really does a number on my confidence.
Quote from: Jalynn on July 02, 2016, 10:33:13 AM
Wonder if many are probably like me? I went from really disliking any picture I took of myself as a guy and really just kept 1 for years to really liking how some of my pics looked as a girl.
The opposite. I liked how I looked, and things like my former driving licence picture make me feel quite sad - it's a really great picture. I gave it to my mother, which is doubly ironic because I feel almost parental about the person in the picture.
The thought of her having a collection of things like that, the same way she would if I was dead, is just heartbreaking. However supportive she is, I know that this is profoundly sad for her. In a way it might be easier if she was nasty or unaccepting.
There are pictures of me on nights out or on holidays. Then there are pictures of me with people like my grandfather, who is dead, and those are the only type of picture where both of us are together that I'll ever have. I could never abandon them.
There are no pictures I want to destroy, and things like having to have the name on my degree certificate changed made me feel quite bereft. The original is now just a bit of paper that may as well go in the bin. There's nothing I like about that.
Thanks for sharing. There really does sound like some sad things about it that I never thought of. So far think I would be okay with it though.
Quote from: Jalynn on July 02, 2016, 11:29:45 AM
Thanks for sharing. There really does sound like some sad things about it that I never thought of. So far think I would be okay with it though.
As long as you are ok then it is ok.
Just don't slam a door on yourself in a hurry because that can never work out well. I've read a couple of people on here say they burned the lot and came to regret it.
I read people saying things like they threw out all of their clothes, and I understand why, but it makes me feel sad - the times they had in those clothes were their times. Strangely, I don't even need to - I always shopped in both departments, and the vast majority of the male clothes are unisex anyway - things like slim jeans, cashmere sweaters, even jackets where I just needed the buttons moved over.
I'm lucky in a way that I never needed to buy lots of very male items for work - I worked mainly in the media where that's not really necessary, as a language tutor (likewise), as a fashion PR (the opposite, if anything). I actually quite like male shirts, and think they look good on women. With jeans and heels, it's pretty safe to keep wearing them.
The few things that I do have that are absolutely unable to be translated across, I'm having real problems with. Some of them were gifts, many of them are expensive. So neither fall into the 'comfortable getting rid' category. My watches are unisex, my rings belong to my grandmother and mother - and luckily didn't even need resized. I have a ridiculous collection of perfumes - some of which are male, and I like the smell of them so they're going nowhere.
But presentation was always important to me. I'm happy to go to the local newsagent in my dressing gown or a tracksuit, but other than that, I always did like to look quite tailored and 'done', including make up. For years I've been choosing the shorter hairstyles from the female examples in my stylists books. I'm now happy to let it grow out, but only to tie it up and back in that slightly messy, dirty blonde way some women really suit.
I have no desire for pink nails like talons for instance. Just a clear coat of varnish - that suits me. I bought an amazing dark camel coloured trench coat today, so I can't wait for autumn. There's a pair of olive green suede stilettos that Steve Madden is launching next month that that coat will great with.
I also bought an exercise bike for the house, because if HRT so much as gives me the merest hint of a fat arse, I'll be on that thing for two hours a night.
My work is blue collar. Just going to continue wearing t shirts but now wear a spandex work out type shirt because chest is looking different. I did get rid of guy underwear except like 2 pairs for when I go to laser but even forget that a couple times. Usually wore jeans but have switched to light track pants because I really like leggings. Havent had a hair cut in about a yr now and finally getting some length. Best and most exciting part for me right now is I am getting to see temple hair come back. I am just going to continue taking hrt and see how far the changes go. Might always be like a guy at work. Recently there was a trans girl at work and it really seemed okay for her.
Sometimes I do, sometimes not. It depends... when I'm too serious, it is... when I'm in don't care mode, It isn't. I can make myself feel like I don't care, and then I truly don't care. I think it hinges on desire, and my objective. If I am looking for a partner, I feel appearance matters most. When I'm happy single, I don't care.
Nowadays I just think: nobody cares anyways. If I see someone outside, I don't care about them. So why should they care about me? it's freeing to realize that nobody gives... if you're pretty, they be jealous. If your ugly, they feel pretty. If you're common, they don't care and leave you alone. So yeah... what's it all for... the older I get, the more I realize that the only person that can make you happy, is you yourself.
Absolutely!!! I just had breast augmentation surgery on June 28, and I feel very much more happy. I love my breasts. Not only that, but they feel right. I don't know how to describe it, but having breast surgery just feels so right for me. Honestly, I feel empowered. I am so very happy :D
I definitely feel different based on what I'm wearing. I'm not at the point of going out fully dressed as a woman, but getting closer. I definitely feel better when I'm at home though, when I think I look good.
Quote from: cymoril on July 03, 2016, 01:02:33 AM
Absolutely!!! I just had breast augmentation surgery on June 28, and I feel very much more happy. I love my breasts. Not only that, but they feel right. I don't know how to describe it, but having breast surgery just feels so right for me. Honestly, I feel empowered. I am so very happy :D
Wow! Good to hear that you feel empowered.
barbie~~
Yes in more ways than one. When Wendy comes out and dresses up she feels great right up to the point she looks in the mirror and she see's a man dressed in womens clothes, then that happy feeling quickly goes away. Wendy tends to dress up and never look in the mirror then she feels great. When I am dressed up as a man its the same feeling when I look in the mirror, I just feel rubbish at seeing a man looking back. At the end of the day until I have had a considerable amount of surgery and HRT which totally eliminates the male exterior then I will never feel good on the outside unless I never look at my reflection, I just hate being in a male shell. Yes i'm totally messed up. :(
Quote from: Semira on July 01, 2016, 10:10:55 PM
In a way, I'm kind of the opposite. My outward appearance is generally a reflection of how I feel on the inside. I usually feel lousy on the inside and that causes me to be very apathetic about my outward appearance. I'll go out looking awful and I often don't care. I imagine if I felt better about myself, I would then work to improve my appearance.
Yeah, this is how it works for me too. Feel good, then want to look good. Feel awful, don't care about my appearance.
Quote from: AnxietyDisord3r on July 04, 2016, 02:41:32 PM
Yeah, this is how it works for me too. Feel good, then want to look good. Feel awful, don't care about my appearance.
That works more for my house. Feel great, it's immaculate. Feel stressed, there's stuff everywhere. Feel depressed, it looks terrible and the Hoover is where I abandoned it to just go to bed.