Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I am wondering for educational purposes. I kindly ask that everyone answers with their complete honesty.

Thank you so much!

~Amy

XO's to you :)

(Select an answer in the poll above)

0 months. Minus. It's been a years long embarrassment (secret satisfaction) at being told 'Madame, this is not your passport', elderly men holding doors open - and refusing to go ahead even when I tell them to - as I always will because they're older, white van men shouting 'what you doing later love?' as I walk down the street - not you mate!

So knowing my luck, once I start, it'll go the other way.

Are we talking family and friends or random members of the public? Because the answer is different for the different groups.

0 months.   That is, I just started on hormones, but I don't recall being "Sir'd" for quite a while before that.  I do live in a relatively Trans-friendly location, though.

The worst I've had happen is for a small business owner to start praying for my salvation while escorting me out the door.  (Like "We don't serve your kind!", without the obvious violation of state law here.)  They were polite enough, but that's a wig shop I won't be returning to!  (And I found a much nicer one a week later.)

Do you mean at all, or consistently/by most people? I answered for the second one. :)  (I was occasionally mistaken for a girl as far back as high school; most people read me correctly by 3 months on HRT; I couldn't pass for a guy when I tried at six months on HRT.)

Can't quite submit a vote here... I am still getting Sir'd at 5 months. With a 13 month break and 4 months the first time.... so with the large break, I would probably call it 5 months and "Sir".

While presenting more or less male I began being gendered as female by strangers at around 11 months.  By 17 months the norm is not getting gendered at all and when I am gendered its female more often than male.  Before HRT nearly everyone said Sir.


Sapere Aude

When i dressed appropriately and put on makeup and covered my facial scrub, i was getting correctly gendered before HRT. After HRT it became pretty consistent at about month 9 or so, fairly independent of what i was wearing.

11 months, but I didn't come out until 7 months in and didn't start dressing in public until about the 11 month mark.

Three months. Was teetering on male fail after two but waxing my eyebrows pushed me over the edge. :P Went full-time after four months.

I've been called the P word since highschool when they didn't call me the c word. I'm not sure this answers your question but I hope it does make you smile.

I think you'll find it varies depending on the person and it isn't dependent on HRT alone either. For me I was gendered correctly after almost nine months, but that is only because I went full time at that point and made changes to my looks and presentation that got me to where I wanted to be. If I hadn't done those thing I wouldn't be gendered correctly at all, and even after three years on HRT if I wasn't doing those things I still wouldn't pass. For some people they don't even need HRT and for others they could have been on HRT for years and still do not get gendered correctly for any number of reasons.

Looking back, it seems a bit like this to me personally:

1 year: ~20% of the time being called female.
2 year: ~50% of the time being called female. (got makeup, clothing & behavior right)
3 year: ~90% of the time being called female. (completed electrolysis)
4 year: ~90% of the time being called female. (completed srs)
5 year: ~99% of the time being called female. (worked on self esteem.)

That does not count the ones who talk behind my back, because I don't know. Currently planning FFS, which I hope will remove all doubt, not only in others but also in myself.

I think I would never "passed" on hormones alone... it's the complete package. Then again, woman with short haircuts in baggy clothes are often mistaken for boys, so yeah. I don't know. Hormones only do so much. Electrolysis was massive, truly life changing. More so than SRS, because no-one can look in my pants, but a beard shadow is in your face.

The moment I knew I passed pretty well, when a female officer was called in to search me.  :police: :angel:

I'll give it a Big "It Depends"

HRT or not, at 6ft tall, balding, BIG everything, deep voice, etc, I have always gone out of my way to put forth the most typical "female" presentation I could. 1) I felt I needed too in order not to stand out. 2) I love girlie girl  :D  I've never been mis-gendered when out in female mode.

TBH - there is NO wiggle room. At 6ft tall, balding, BIG everything, deep voice, etc., there is only male mode or female mode. OK, I do jeans and tee tops in female mode, with my wig and just a little light makeup never an issue either. Never mis-gendered in Male Mode with a B cup either

Quote from: xAmyX on July 01, 2016, 06:07:46 AM
I am wondering for educational purposes. I kindly ask that everyone answers with their complete honesty.

Thank you so much!

~Amy

XO's to you :)

(Select an answer in the poll above)

Can´t pick a answer in the post since i have not yet begun on HRT.

But i have by random strangers been considered female since i was a teenager. and i am still referred to as her by some.

Until i correct them. As to stores , i live in a country where they are more informal and i haven´t notice any Sir´s or Mam´s

I passed as female a bit before hrt.   Really, i felt like HRT was only a part of the package including appropriate clothing, mannerisms, hair & cosmetics.   

I was on HRT for a few years before I had my initial FFS, and during that time I only went out dressed in women's clothing a handful of times, and usually it was at night, because I had a lot to overcome; I was very muscular when I started my transition and I needed time for the bulk of it to atrophy, and I had a lot of brow bossing and very angular facial features. I went full time right after my FFS, and since I had only been out in public a few times before that I had a lot of catching up to do, and it wasn't easy since I didn't really prepare myself for full time transition, so in retrospect I would have gone out dressed feminely on a regular basis or as much as possible even though HRT wasn't enough to help me pass without FFS, because it took a few years to pass regularly after FFS since I needed to learn how to move, talk, and blend in with other women.

Interesting comments everyone! Based off of my own observations. The majority of transgender women appear to my own eyes as being mostly female around the 3 year mark and forward. Before that, they seem to get close with lots of effort, but I can easily notice giveaways without too much effort until year 3. I currently finished my 4th month, and am on my 5th monthly scripts. I know that I have a long way to go, but with a lot of effort, I do seem to get a lot more second looks from strangers. I will like to thank everyone for your input, and wish you all a wonderful journey towards that which is sought.

Took me about 13-14 months.

I started hormones with my hair short, so my main obstacle was waiting for my hair to grow out, I was gendered female while wearing a wig relatively consistently around the 7-8 month mark, but in terms of being gendered female by default with basically no effort, wearing my unisex work clothes, people started calling me "she" around 13 months into hormones, and by the time 14-15 months rolled around I basically never heard "he" again, and I've only heard it about 3 times since then, most of which were by accident.

I was working on my voice and passes for years before HRT and within the first month it all clicked for me as Femme.  Hugs Shannon

I'm posting here again to let everyone know how my transition has been going since I last posted. At 6 months I began taking Progesterone. I stopped taking it around month 9. I then switched from E pills to E injections. It was a bit tricky convincing my doctor that it was a better move, but with enough determination we both agreed that it would be better for me. My levels have been well within the female range ever since. At the same time I started E Injections, he also put me on Finasteride which I have been taking faithfully every day since then. My results have been very nice, and I do appear and feel a lot more feminine. My voice is still a little deeper than I'd like, but it has mellowed and softened quite a bit, and with enough effort I can get it to pass.

I still feel as though people can tell I'm transgender though if they really wanted, but I'm okay with that. I'm proud to be transgender, and I have nothing to hide, but as I continue to transition it'd be nice to not be the center of attention in conversations and blend in as a normal girl. I'm looking forward to that hopefully within the next year or two. :) I will not say what the dosages were due to site rules, but if you ask your Endocrinologist about stuff I'm taking that you may not be taking, but are interested in, I'm sure he'll go over the specifics with you and help you come to your conclusion on whether or not it's for you. I like E injections SO much more than the pills. It's nice not having to constantly worry about taking them damned things, and it's far more effective at keeping my levels where I want them to be.

I am now at my 18th month mark.

I've also started cycling Progesterone. I'm on my 2nd cycle right now.

For me its been hit or miss.  I pass about 70 % but ive only done RX hormones for about a year and a half out of eight.  When I dont pass its because of the emotion im feeling at the time

And remember, some never pass.  Some of the prettiest and nicest transwomen ive met have a linebackers build.

The best lesson ive learned in 8 years is that its better to passas yourself than to pass as something youre trying to be

As unbelievable as it might sound... after two months "miss" began to come by default... but I also had a good starting point and my body responded extremely well to HRT.

For me, I feel that it has just started happening.  I still get gendered male, more frequently than female, when talking to people.  Some days are better than others.  At least most of the time nobody questions me about using the women's room.  Met a new CNA today at work, she gendered me correctly, so I'm doing better than I thought.

If im wearing a wig and makeup people will gender me as trans female. Otherwise i still present as male. Ive wanted to grow my hair for years im now kicking myself for not doing it earlier.

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Not there yet. But on thing I noticed: People who do not know me from before are much more likely to get it right. Makeup and clearly female attire helps a lot too.
Then there is the group of people who simply know and have fully switched to female pronouns.

It's really obvious i'm transgender and generally people are more insistant about gendering me male then they ever did when has a shaved head and a beard.

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I put 1-2 years because it was at around 30 months that the question seemed to become moot, or ceased to be a question.

However.  :)

There was no definitive point. Before I even started hormones I was being gendered correctly on the phone. I was working hard at it and even if I could not sustain it for a long time any short conversation they gendered me female. By 8 months on hrt I was getting her and she and could no longer use the men's bathroom but the longer I spent around someone the more you could see the questions in their head. Next week will be 3 years for me and it has been a very long time since anyone had that look on their face. No one sees anything but a girl, not even me. Lol, As critical as I can be of myself, as ugly as I think I am, no matter what the mean mirror says or how harsh the camera can be, it's how ugly I think that girl is that makes me want to crawl into a hole. My neighbor knows, KNOWS because she was told and she said to me last week that she hopes menopause for me is not as bad as it was for her. I have given up on reminding my primary care physician. I hope that you are practicing safe sex, besides STDs, you can still get pregnant even if it's unlikely. I don't see that we have done a pap smear yet, I think we should schedule you one. So the Endocrinologist has had you on testosterone for how long?

Eventually it just snaps into place, or seems to. It's a process, not a line in the sand, just at some point it becomes clear that you are near the end of the process. You get the voice down, but what about the words you use? Inflection? The walk is right but is the posture? The small things fall away so subtly that most of the time I never even noticed. Then one day you go looking for the next thing to improve and you can't find anything.

So it's a very hard question to answer. Are we gendered correctly the first time someone calls you ma'am or when we know someone for a month and they still don't know? For me none of that made a difference, it was when I stopped thinking about it, when I no longer questioned what people were seeing that I was finally gendered correctly. You are a girl Michelle, no one has to think about it so stop worrying. Somewhere around 30 months.  ;)

My female alter had no problems with people knowing she was a girl from the first time she went out in the world; a year BEFORE I was prescribed a transition level of HRT. This was part of the reason for my misdiagnosis as transsexual. My GT pointed out that I had all of the tell tale physical signs of being transsexual at my first session:
Mother took DES during pregnancy
Androgynous facial structure
Ectromorph build (5' 10" 146 pounds)
Small Adam's apple, hands and feet
Long index finger (2D:4D ratio)
Long arms (high arms span to height ratio)
Typical female angle in the elbows for carrying babies
I even have severe idiopathic scoliosis which is 10X more common in women

For me it was about 2 months.  But I was very androgynous before hrt and I got gendered as female most of the time anyway.  I pass completely now. Well among people who didn't know me before transition.

I'm at two months HRT - even with the most femme clothes I have, makeup, etc, I have yet to be called ma'am by a stranger.  About a month ago, I stopped getting called sir when dressed, so that's progress I suppose, even if I'm really, really wanting to hear "ma'am".

This was tough to answer.
When I in my female mode (clothing) it was about 50/50
When I was in Guy mode I was 100% guy

Then after about 5 months, I went full time.  Then I would say it would go up about 5% per month so now (8 months later) I get Ma'ma about 95% of the time.  If someone gets it wrong, depending on my mood, I let it go or I correct them.

I just had Breast Augmentation (364 days after starting E - for the second time) and since then, other than on the phone, I don't get Sir'd at all. 

I guess I should have checked 1 year on HRT, 2 years since figuring out I'm trans.

Quote from: Denise on November 20, 2017, 11:13:01 PM

I just had Breast Augmentation (364 days after starting E - for the second time) and since then, other than on the phone, I don't get Sir'd at all. 

I guess I should have checked 1 year on HRT, 2 years since figuring out I'm trans.

Denise, you got BA done? Dang, you are one bad ass chick! I'm going to see where nature takes me still on that one. I keep seeing an orchi or my facial features needing tending to first.  :D

Well for me it's been mixed. From behind I got mammed right away with fem cut jeans and a zip hoodie with a sock hat on. I got "she" the other week from behind standing at the nurses desk at the hospital checking in for an ESI injection. Then the nurse in front of me corrected the other saying "he's a him". Most places I go, they can tell I'm trans and try to just avoid certain words. Two weeks ago, taking my kid to the doctor though, when leaving the exam room, where up to that point the nurse and Doctor were all super great, the older woman at the check out desk called loadly "sir".
But so far my best has been in the waiting area for physical therapy. One of the male PTs came and got a patient. Know I've known him for a while now. He has a very soft voice and a small build. After they walked back, the one lady sitting there with me leans over and says "I think he's a bit sweet, don't you?" I said "who Ian?". Her reply "yes, don't you think he is 'sweet' ?". I just shrugged. A few seconds later my PT for the day came and called me back by "Josh". Well you should have seen the look in that lady's eyes! That was cool for me.  ;)

Quote from: josie76 on November 21, 2017, 05:35:40 AM
Denise, you got BA done? Dang, you are one bad ass chick! I'm going to see where nature takes me still on that one. I keep seeing an orchi or my facial features needing tending to first.  :D

The intent,  on my doctor's part was FFS first.  But the Gods intervened and insurance approved BA and we're fighting to get FFS covered. (BTW there is another thread on my experience)

I didn't go that big (36c) where I had been wearing a 34b bra on the biggest hocks.  That way when I walked into work post surgery no one would notice.  Lessoned my anxiety of what other people were thinking.  Funny part is they probably think I got "the surgery".  Won't they be surprised when in 2019 I'm out for a month.

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It was a couple of months here, my dress had changed for years before HRT but it was super femme. Once HRT started and my hair was growing long, the ma'ams started.

Almost 3 years now, but I am a late transitioner. I had been under the influence of Testosterone for over 50 years. There was a lot of damage that needed to be corrected.

I didn't find hormones to have much impact on being gendered correctly.  It had much more to do with voice and facial hair removal.

It will depend on you. If you know how to wear clothes correctly and what to wear. And how to do makeup correctly. Even an ugly guy like I still look like could be gendered correctly. But if you don't shave. Wear guys stuff and talk in a low guy tone you might not ever get gendered correctly. I only got gendered correctly once because I was shopping with my wife and the sales lady was not looking up. So toe polish and pink sandals got me gendered correctly once. Then when she saw what she thought was her mistake then she drove that knife deep in my back when she said sorry. So if I lose the weight I need to and get some makeup lessons I think I will be fine. Just have to get thru my little setback I just had. So in one word it presentation.


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I started getting gendered correctly after about 10 months.  For me all it really took was growing my hair long so after two years being called sir is an extreme rarity.  Clothes don't really matter.  Voice is important though and I do need work there.


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Iffy topic. I'd been passing since my very first attempts at dressing/presenting female back in my early teen years.
No horomones, or hair removal, just clean shaven, and my makeup skills left.. LOTS to be desired.
(I will admit I was much younger and prettier then..) I just looked like an awkward bookwormish Wednesday Addams type goth girl wandering around.

Sometimes, even 9 months or more in, and after almost 2 years of hair removal, If I'm dressed like a slob, in super baggy, neutral clothes, I still get a 'sir' or whatever else, which comes to a screeching halt when I bark at someone.
The super baggy coveralls at work don't help either.. Especially considering, being as tall as I am, I *should* properly fit into a 40T however the inseams and sleeve length still leave much to be desired, and am forced into a 48T just to actually avoid a frontal wedgie and the flood pants look. (As well as having proper length sleeves.) I guess tall people, male or female, that wear coveralls still have little t-rex arms, and teeny tiny legs.

I'm still in the school that presentation, voice, and hair removal > horomones. Horomones only help my barely clothed image and to soften my face somewhat.

I'm still waiting on the "gendered correctly" after a couple years, so I'll go with 3-5.  I get a fair share of sirs and ma'ams, but that's hit and miss.  I seldom get misgendered by title once they know who I am... however, strangers on the street its a 50/50.  There's no real way to tell if they're being nice, or really do get the ma'am impression... so I've tried not to worry about it.  It's difficult to answer the pole, since everyone started at a different place with different features... Then getting into the surgeries and when they were done and how they turned out... etc.  But interesting topic none the less.

People stopped call in me sir regularly at around 9 months.  Around the sam entire I went fulltime.  I  am at 15 months and no one has called me sir since about month 10.