Just because you happen to be transgender and that is considered different/unusual do you also wish you were a boring average person that fit in better? I personally would like to be an average cis male and that's how I want to be once I'm done transition. Do you want to be average or unusual and stand out?
This is quite an interesting topic....
I think I'd probably stick with being somewhat "unusual" as that is where I usually tend to fall. I prefer wearing black so half the time people think I'm some sort of "goth" anyways, and I don't see that changing anytime soon.
Socially though, I would rather blend. So I guess I would prefer to be average in the usual category of people. :D
Edit: For trans stuff though, I would prefer to blend as an androgynous male. Being non-binary I really don't feel like an "average" male or female. :P
Not at all, but I find being trans is a bit too much of a "good" thing.
In my opinion, being trans or cis has nothing to do with it. Having said that, I AM pretty boring.
I like my life hassle-free, and in that respect, boring is better. But I don't really care about either standing out or being boring. What I want is to be me.
I am exceptionally boring, and I like it that way.
I'm pretty boring at heart. I've spent my life, pre-transition, standing out a lot more than I'd like, trying to make life work as a gender-non-conforming woman. When I started transitioning, one of the things that was most attractive about it was the prospect of blending in, being just another geezer wandering through Home Depot.
The position I find myself in now is a bit ironic: physically and temperamentally, I'm "just some guy," but as I emerge from depression and hiding, I find myself drawn to various forms of activism that put me out there in public as a transgender man. It's not at all what I planned when I started transitioning, but it does seem that a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthefiringline.com%2Fforums%2Fimages%2Fsmilies%2Fcool.gif&hash=d4879c0267a356dff26cd86b0fa87ea42a6199e1)
I'm an introvert who likes to read history. mmmmm, I think that I'm boring already.
Sapere Aude
I've always wanted to just blend in and not be seen, but I've also played in a band and it's a strange mix of look at me but don't look. Ugh I'm a walking contradiction. It might be though that I was never comfortable being seen as male and I never liked who I appeared to be.
I think my current profile pick is the first picture that I've liked in my 47 years so perhaps I'll be comfortable being seen. Just not as a man. That's going to take some work.
Quote from: Deborah on July 04, 2016, 12:00:20 PM
I'm an introvert who likes to read history. mmmmm, I think that I'm boring already.
Sapere Aude
That's great I am too. You're not just average and boring you're intellectual and "boring"!
Quote from: StevieC9 on July 04, 2016, 01:07:25 PM
I've always wanted to just blend in and not be seen, but I've also played in a band and it's a strange mix of look at me but don't look. Ugh I'm a walking contradiction. It might be though that I was never comfortable being seen as male and I never liked who I appeared to be.
I think my current profile pick is the first picture that I've liked in my 47 years so perhaps I'll be comfortable being seen. Just not as a man. That's going to take some work.
I'm sorry that it's hard for women to not be under constant scrutiny. I recently had this conversation with some trans women friends about how presenting as female for the first time they felt objectified for the first time in their lives and some seemed to enjoy it and some didn't. I've also been reading articles about how easy it is for a short transman to go unnoticed and I'm grateful for this. I didn't like being an attractive woman that got a lot of attention. I'm glad you feel comfortable being seen.
Sometimes... but then I question it, and think it is because I am afraid of losing my mind when I don't fit in, or something. Not sure if that makes sense at all...
I am average.
Stay at home parent.
Trainee Legal Executive.
A brutally effective operations manager dealing with national and international clients in my former life.
Unless you decided you wanted to buy me a drink (and fail), you'd just see another auburn haired woman walking down the street.
And I'm fine with that.
I suppose I'm somewhat average to a certain degree and some might find me boring. At least my life would probably be boring to some but anywho.
I don't like changes and even surprises make me uncomfortable so I guess I want to be average or boring. I feel safer that way.
That being said, I prefer people to find me interesting because of my personality, not because I'm trans. That's why I don't tell about my trans status to anyone unless I find it necessary.
Oh my I've never given thought to actually desiring to be boring. Truly becoming "boring" and fading into the background is one of my greatest fears , but I think just a natural progression as we get older and for us trans people used to our lives in our authentic skin. When I was first coming out I was wild ! I started transitioning in the club scene at age 20 , coming up with other young trans girls and honey we were anything but boring , but now 8 years later now that I've settled down , you'll most likely find me at home watching house hunters on a Friday night . Does this come from a desire to blend in not at all , priorities change and the luster of parading around and getting attention from people has faded, but I dont think I will ever just be able to be a boring person in the crowd. My lived history and journey to womanhood are too different to ignore and I never want to forget it .
I wish I was a cis guy. But it doesn't bother me if I'm not average or boring. Stands out a bit is fine. I don't want to stand out because I'm not cis, but rather stand out of something else.
Where do I sign ? ;D
Paula, X.
Sometimes, sometimes not. I don't struggle with my gender anymore, but I struggle with what I want to come of it. Most of the time I want to be visible because I think it helps us all, but it would be nice to just be recognized as a woman without all that extra crap attached to it. The world might be a less scary place that way.
Quote from: Tysilio on July 04, 2016, 11:16:09 AM
I'm pretty boring at heart. I've spent my life, pre-transition, standing out a lot more than I'd like, trying to make life work as a gender-non-conforming woman. When I started transitioning, one of the things that was most attractive about it was the prospect of blending in, being just another geezer wandering through Home Depot.
The position I find myself in now is a bit ironic: physically and temperamentally, I'm "just some guy," but as I emerge from depression and hiding, I find myself drawn to various forms of activism that put me out there in public as a transgender man. It's not at all what I planned when I started transitioning, but it does seem that a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthefiringline.com%2Fforums%2Fimages%2Fsmilies%2Fcool.gif&hash=d4879c0267a356dff26cd86b0fa87ea42a6199e1)
So are you saying you were a boring guy until you were drawn to forms of transgender activism and now that makes you different?
Quote from: Gianna2014 on July 09, 2016, 09:27:19 AM
Oh my I've never given thought to actually desiring to be boring. Truly becoming "boring" and fading into the background is one of my greatest fears , but I think just a natural progression as we get older and for us trans people used to our lives in our authentic skin. When I was first coming out I was wild ! I started transitioning in the club scene at age 20 , coming up with other young trans girls and honey we were anything but boring , but now 8 years later now that I've settled down , you'll most likely find me at home watching house hunters on a Friday night . Does this come from a desire to blend in not at all , priorities change and the luster of parading around and getting attention from people has faded, but I dont think I will ever just be able to be a boring person in the crowd. My lived history and journey to womanhood are too different to ignore and I never want to forget it .
I got a lot of negative attention when perceived as an attractive female. Do you think that being female has anything to do with wanting to be paid attention to?
Quote from: Sebby Michelango on July 09, 2016, 02:44:03 PM
I wish I was a cis guy. But it doesn't bother me if I'm not average or boring. Stands out a bit is fine. I don't want to stand out because I'm not cis, but rather stand out of something else.
This was a good answer. I like the scenery where is that mountain located?
Quote from: alienbodybuilder on July 09, 2016, 09:02:34 PM
I got a lot of negative attention when perceived as an attractive female. Do you think that being female has anything to do with wanting to be paid attention to?
. Absolutely not , I think all people seek validation in one form or another. I mean here on these forums a great deal of these conversations are our own searching for validation . I think early in my transition it was important to hear I was pretty or to feel wanted . Nowadays not so much , but it took a long time to get there .
Quote from: alienbodybuilderQuote from: TysilioI'm pretty boring at heart. I've spent my life, pre-transition, standing out a lot more than I'd like, trying to make life work as a gender-non-conforming woman. When I started transitioning, one of the things that was most attractive about it was the prospect of blending in, being just another geezer wandering through Home Depot.
The position I find myself in now is a bit ironic: physically and temperamentally, I'm "just some guy," but as I emerge from depression and hiding, I find myself drawn to various forms of activism that put me out there in public as a transgender man. It's not at all what I planned when I started transitioning, but it does seem that a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.
So are you saying you were a boring guy until you were drawn to forms of transgender activism and now that makes you different?
Nor exactly. I have the same wish to be an ordinary guy that I had when I started transitioning, but it's important to me to to do what I can to make a difference for myself and for other trans people, and that gets in the way of being able to be that boring-ish regular guy. Even though "just some guy" is what my life looks like much of the time, the fact that I'm pretty focused on trans issues keeps me from fully inhabiting that self.
Quote from: Gianna2014 on July 09, 2016, 10:13:13 PM
. Absolutely not , I think all people seek validation in one form or another. I mean here on these forums a great deal of these conversations are our own searching for validation . I think early in my transition it was important to hear I was pretty or to feel wanted . Nowadays not so much , but it took a long time to get there .
I never thought about the validation thing. I just think I want to express myself and care about the image I project because it has to do with how I'll be treated. That's building self esteem I guess.
Quote from: Tysilio on July 09, 2016, 10:25:56 PM
So are you saying you were a boring guy until you were drawn to forms of transgender activism and now that makes you different?
Nor exactly. I have the same wish to be an ordinary guy that I had when I started transitioning, but it's important to me to to do what I can to make a difference for myself and for other trans people, and that gets in the way of being able to be that boring-ish regular guy. Even though "just some guy" is what my life looks like much of the time, the fact that I'm pretty focused on trans issues keeps me from fully inhabiting that self.
So I guess you can be an ordinary guy with an extra humanitarian twist. It makes you a good guy to still care about other transpeople.
Thanks. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthefiringline.com%2Fforums%2Fimages%2Fsmilies%2Fsmile.gif&hash=2c5a4907e2673dfa63557696254abe82f5c9641e)
Quote from: Tysilio on July 09, 2016, 11:25:22 PM
Thanks. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthefiringline.com%2Fforums%2Fimages%2Fsmilies%2Fsmile.gif&hash=2c5a4907e2673dfa63557696254abe82f5c9641e)
You're welcome.
Considering what the type of people that bore me are into, no, I'd rather be non-boring and non-ordinary. But I would like their level of material comforts and support, I won't lie.
I think there is a huge difference between average and boring. I have never been average but I think many people would agree that I am boring...
At heart, I am an intellectual, reform-minded activist sort who prides non-conformity to social conventions so definitely not "average" in our society...
Yet I am also a PhD in an obscure field, a socially anxious and awkward nerd who likes to disappear in most social settings and would rather hang out at home than attend social functions... therefore, I am often boring and I like my life largely uneventful.
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I'd like the option for the most part just blend into the background; not be noticed and not have that fear in the back of my mind that somebody will suss out I'm trans. I know I'll never be average/boring whatever because of how I like to look or because of my personality, but I'd definitely like the option to become invisible when I choose to as I haven't been able to before.