Not sure exactly where to post this, as there are a few sections it could have fitted into, I plumped for here. Sorry if that was a mistake.
I don't know about others, but I sure was hoping for 'miracles' when I started on hrt. One reality check later and that didn't happen, but after reading up about what to expect, I also experienced some effects that I wasn't expecting, after being on hrt for a couple of years (I'm now 13 yrs post-op BTW):
- More sensitive sense of touch. I had read about possibly getting softer skin, but I wasn't prepared for the increase in my sense of touch. My fingers and hands became much more sensitive, which was nice, except when I touched something hot, then it was "ouch!", and from then on, gloves became a necessity when handling hot things.
- Heightened sense of smell and taste. These were subtle changes, but I remember when I was young my Nan always complaining about certain smells she could pick up on, like the smell of paint drying, weeks after any painting had been done. Now I know what she means.
- The way I experience colours. This sounds odd, but my eyes changed quite significantly in how I perceived colour. Hues became much more vivid and immersive, and evoked much more feelings as well. I would say that this was the single most surprising change, and the most vivid.
- Just generally becoming more aware of my surroundings, the seasons, hot and cold. And the way I was increasingly able to pick up on changes in my environment. I can now walk into the office at work and pretty much know if anyone has changed their hair or had it cut, whether they are wearing something new, or when I last saw them wear it. And it's a pretty big building where I work, over 100 people on my floor alone.
I can't decide if this hyper awareness is a good or bad thing.
These are just some of the many wonders I experienced during my transition.
-physical pain hurts a lot more now for some reason
-my nails have become so brittle compared to before when they were super healthy and i can't grow them out as long as i'd like to
-ive always been pale, but skin is has gotten even lighter and now im like super translucent and you can see all the vascularity plus i gotta be careful with sunburns as a result
-skin is super dry, i thought at least i'd have some oil left, but nope. As T went down oil everywhere went adios too.
- My waist becoming even more defined after 3 years, despite not really working out. I finally have a noticeable dip in the waist like other women my age.
- Genital area fat changes. From certain angles/perspectives, it looks like im post op since my entire region down there has changed dramatically to female fat patterns.
- Continuing to see a reduction in body hair
- Becoming petite sized. I'm now an extra small/small in adult woman sizing. When for the longest time I was a medium mainly.
I know there's other stuff, I just can't think of them at the moment.
Y'know, reading these replies has made me think about other changes I've experienced.
I tried to list mostly positive things, but yeah, there are some negative things too.
- The hair on my head is thin and brittle, it didn't used to break so easily as it does now :(
- I didn't really see a size change in my body, but my feet have become a shoe size smaller, and I certainly wasn't expecting that. I always had small hands (used to get teased about it before I transitioned), but I'm pretty happy with my hands now ;D
- My nails are strong and flexible, but that's because I take a vitamin supplement that's meant to strengthen nails. It's supposed to work on hair too, but my hair is still brittle. But my skin certainly became much more translucent, and I can see far more veins that I used to, it's not a nice effect to be sure. My boyfriend commented on it a few times, how "see-thru" I am these days. But that was one hrt effect I knew about in advance.
- Thinking about it I do have dry skin and much less skin/scalp oil too. I don't really notice it though because I use a body lotion twice a day, and that seems to stop the dryness very well. It also stops ingrowing hairs too, which is the main reason I use it. My body is very hairy, so I have to shave my arms/fingers, legs/toes every few days :(
I was luckily able to afford IPL hair removal for my torso, otherwise I'd have to shave that too. I wish hrt had lessened body hair, but it has only had slight effects in this area.
Yep, I got most of the changes listed here. All of my senses changed - sight hearing touch smell taste, and all the things being processed through an emotional center before anything else.
You can see pretty much every vein in my body. It used to kind of bug me but eh, they keep me alive so I guess I'm okay with seeing them. And even though I'm way more transparent, I feel like the skin tone itself looks a lot better most of the time. And of course it's way softer and bruises incredibly easily, or at least shows up a lot more now.
I think the biggest surprise for me was how all the other changes affected the way I move and interact with the world. I'm still not exactly graceful, but I'm way more gentle than I used to be, and I imagine it's going to keep heading in that direction for a while longer.
It would be nice if guys weren't so rough when they clap you on the shoulder or playfully shove you for beating them in a competition you weren't even aware you were in. It's like dude, that's going to leave a bruise for a week, be GENTLE. And also whatever challenge you think we're in? I forfeit. I'm going to go over here and play with my hair now :-\
@IdontEven, That's a good analogy "being processed through an emotional centre", that makes sense to me. And for someone like me, who always seems to offend people easily, and just blurts out what's on her mind, when she really shouldn't have, having an extra bit of processing to try and filter out stuff before it comes out of my mouth is a good thing.
I am very much like my mother in this respect, we can both say things straight out, that really we should best have kept to ourselves. My fella is often amazed/dismayed at some of the things that spew forth from my gob :(
Now you mention it bruises are another thing that's changed pretty dramatically.
I bruise really really easily now, and it's very noticeable on my translucent skin.
Funny you should mention bruises from harmless rough and tumble with guys, occasionally my fella will grab me on the arm or somesuch, for some reason (usually affectionate play, or to steady me if I'm gonna fall, etc...) and the next day you can see his handprint very clearly, on my arm, as a multi-coloured bruise, which then stays for a few weeks. It's got a bit embarrassing at times, because occasionally people think I've been roughly manhandled against my will, and get worried about me, when that's not actually the case. He has come to realise that I'm quite delicate nowadays though, so such bruises are a rarity.
I'll certainly be envious if hrt makes you graceful, I don't feel that it has helped me there, although others have commented that it has. I've always been very gentle and careful anyway, pre-hrt or transitioning, that's just my nature, so maybe that's why there's no real change there? Mind you I had a cis-female friend who was extremely clumsy and heavy handed and not in the least bit graceful, and she knew it and used to make it into a joke, so YMMV.
I'm about six and a half years on HRT now.
The good: I noticed my favorite bra is a bit tight; I am sure breast growth has stopped, but apparently I'm one of those women who puts extra pounds in the chest, butt, and belly (the last one isn't so good).
The bad: My skin has been super dry just this past winter, to the point of cracking and bleeding even when I moisturize 3x a day, and now my heels are all gross and callused and cracking in the summer. Ugh. That might be age instead of HRT, I guess, but I don't want to talk about getting old. ;)
Most of the physical changes I anticipated (to a certain degree).
However, as a pre-transition heterosexual male, I never ever once thought I'd not be a lesbian (yes that's a double negative... but you understood it hehe).
Yet here I am today and women do absolutely nothing for me anymore. It's both :) and :( at the same time.
Quote from: Ⓥ on July 06, 2016, 03:34:46 PM
Most of the physical changes I anticipated (to a certain degree).
However, as a pre-transition heterosexual male, I never ever once thought I'd not be a lesbian (yes that's a double negative... but you understood it hehe).
Yet here I am today and women do absolutely nothing for me anymore. It's both :) and :( at the same time.
To a certain degree - did you have more or less than you anticipated?
Quote from: Ⓥ on July 06, 2016, 03:34:46 PM
However, as a pre-transition heterosexual male, I never ever once thought I'd not be a lesbian (yes that's a double negative... but you understood it hehe).
Yet here I am today and women do absolutely nothing for me anymore. It's both :) and :( at the same time.
As a guy, I was heterosexual, and as a woman now, I'm still heterosexual. I just can't figure out if I always fancied men deep down, but when I was one (well, externally at least) I was just 'going through the motions' and doing what was expected of me, as I was in denial of my GD, and trying to fight it back then.
But yeah, women do nothing for me either, but for me, thats a big :)
Quote from: V on July 06, 2016, 05:53:07 PM
But yeah, women do nothing for me either, but for me, thats a big :)
Hiya V... I'm Ⓥ !! Lawl... but yeah, one reason for my lil' frownie is that I kinda
wanted to be a lesbian throughout all this. I suppose just like slap-bracelets from the 80s, it seemed cool at the time. ::) The second reason is that I just don't like surprises when going through life-altering HRT; and finding dudes attractive kinda surprised me!
Quote from: alex82 on July 06, 2016, 04:04:41 PM
did you have more or less than you anticipated?
More, but really not comfortable admitting that :-\ Most of the discomfort lies in the fact that I recognize my privilege... privilege of money, stable job, support, good genetics... I dunno, I've had a really good transition but I'm down-to-earth enough to realize I've been really lucky with a lot of stuff along the way and realize that a lot of girls I see transitioning don't have some of the resources / tools / luck that has helped me get where I am now and that's unfortunate.
It's funny, but the honest truth is that when I hit the rewind button and go back to when I was just a few months into HRT and think of my mental state, I was very
very sure I'd wind up being an unpassable but attractive transsexual gal, and was okay with that because even THAT was a suitable trade-off to becoming a bitter, tired old man filled with regret (® Dom Cobb, 2010)
Quote from: Ⓥ on July 06, 2016, 06:21:34 PM
Hiya V... I'm Ⓥ !! Lawl... but yeah, one reason for my lil' frownie is that I kinda wanted to be a lesbian throughout all this. I suppose just like slap-bracelets from the 80s, it seemed cool at the time. ::) The second reason is that I just don't like surprises when going through life-altering HRT; and finding dudes attractive kinda surprised me!
More, but really not comfortable admitting that :-\ Most of the discomfort lies in the fact that I recognize my privilege... privilege of money, stable job, support, good genetics... I dunno, I've had a really good transition but I'm down-to-earth enough to realize I've been really lucky with a lot of stuff along the way and realize that a lot of girls I see transitioning don't have some of the resources / tools / luck that has helped me get where I am now and that's unfortunate.
It's funny, but the honest truth is that when I hit the rewind button and go back to when I was just a few months into HRT and think of my mental state, I was very very sure I'd wind up being an unpassable but attractive transsexual gal, and was okay with that because even THAT was a suitable trade-off to becoming a bitter, tired old man filled with regret (® Dom Cobb, 2010)
Oh ok, I see what you mean. I certainly do feel insensitive telling a teenager to just whack it on an overdraft, but in terms of NHS waiting lists it's either that, or wait. It's first come first served, there's no other way round it. I do recognize my privilege there, and I'm eternally grateful and humbled that I had accounts of my own to clean out in the first place. But it evens itself out - without this f ing problem, that would've done for all kinds of investments it's not available for with a transition to fund. The only way I can keep calm as I watch it decline rapidly is to say to myself 'that was for your future, well this is using it for your future'. Still stings.
Pain is definitely felt more than before. My sense of smell is more acute. I knew my breasts and nipples would get sensitive but i had no idea how sensitive. Overall i did not expect as positive of results that i have seen.
Changes I never expected..... where or how to begin when each time I went on E was just to survive another day.
Not stinking like a guy
Not sweating like a pig
Skin softening as much as it has with a TON of sensitivity
Not sure if E or loss of T and muscle, But hurts more sitting on hard objects in spite of padding
Pretty much all body hair growth gone... Except a small patch on knee? and bunny ears
The real mindblower now at the 7 year point is the shift in sexuality. Oh how it turns me on when my wife gently caresses me. Worse is how my mind now wonders to what it would feel like this time if it was a guy I'm with. Especially with the dreams I have now with a male love interest
Quote from: alex82 on July 06, 2016, 06:45:21 PM
Oh ok, I see what you mean. I certainly do feel insensitive telling a teenager to just whack it on an overdraft, but in terms of NHS waiting lists it's either that, or wait. It's first come first served, there's no other way round it. I do recognize my privilege there, and I'm eternally grateful and humbled that I had accounts of my own to clean out in the first place. But it evens itself out - without this f ing problem, that would've done for all kinds of investments it's not available for with a transition to fund. The only way I can keep calm as I watch it decline rapidly is to say to myself 'that was for your future, well this is using it for your future'. Still stings.
The amount of money I've had to shell out because of GD really irks me. I wrote in another post how I was a tad jealous of my brother and his life, simply because the money I've spent on goodness-knows-what 'TS'
stuff, he's instead been able to save and now lives a comfortable life in relative luxury.
I had a terrible "NHS experience", one of the worst moments in my transitional journey (and that's up against some pretty stiff competition for that title), and so I saved and scrimped and used my savings and loans, etc... and went private. Wild horses would not drag me back to Charing Cross GIC!!! >:(
So yes, it stings financially, and is well unfair.
Quote from: RobynD on July 06, 2016, 07:02:47 PM
---- I knew my breasts and nipples would get sensitive but i had no idea how sensitive. Overall i did not expect as positive of results that i have seen.
Oh lucky you, my breasts just hurt all the time, and my nipples are small and very, well...
male, and are very un-sensitive. It's one of the things I've heard many other TG women mention, their increased breast and nipple sensitivity, buy I have experienced none of that at all :( Very disappointing. Zero erogenous zone change. Genetics, huh?
Quote from: JoanneB on July 06, 2016, 10:21:40 PM
Changes I never expected..... where or how to begin when each time I went on E was just to survive another day.
....
Not sure if E or loss of T and muscle, But hurts more sitting on hard objects in spite of padding
Pretty much all body hair growth gone... Except a small patch on knee? and bunny ears
....
Ah yes, I have to agree I've got that problem. Despite the additional 'padding' that I now have in my bum area, it's much more painful to sit on any hard surface. I was kinda expecting the opposite TBH.
However, I'm very jealous of your body hair experience, I've had very little reduction or change in body hair :(
I have to shave my arms/fingers, legs/toes every few days. I would have also had to shave my torso just as regularly too, but I managed to afford Laser/IPL treatment on my torso. It was pretty much a necessity, hairy boobs are just
gross!!! That torso hair reduction treatment (along with my facial hair) was something I started two years before I even began to transition, it was so bad I knew I had to sort it beforehand. I just couldn't afford to do my arms and legs as well. But what really irks me still is that I get hairy fingers, eeew! YUK!
Quote from: Ⓥ on July 06, 2016, 06:21:34 PM
Hiya V... I'm Ⓥ !! Lawl... but yeah, one reason for my lil' frownie is that I kinda wanted to be a lesbian throughout all this. I suppose just like slap-bracelets from the 80s, it seemed cool at the time. ::) The second reason is that I just don't like surprises when going through life-altering HRT; and finding dudes attractive kinda surprised me!
More, but really not comfortable admitting that :-\ Most of the discomfort lies in the fact that I recognize my privilege... privilege of money, stable job, support, good genetics... I dunno, I've had a really good transition but I'm down-to-earth enough to realize I've been really lucky with a lot of stuff along the way and realize that a lot of girls I see transitioning don't have some of the resources / tools / luck that has helped me get where I am now and that's unfortunate.
It's funny, but the honest truth is that when I hit the rewind button and go back to when I was just a few months into HRT and think of my mental state, I was very very sure I'd wind up being an unpassable but attractive transsexual gal, and was okay with that because even THAT was a suitable trade-off to becoming a bitter, tired old man filled with regret (® Dom Cobb, 2010)
Hello "other V". Sorry my keyboard doesn't seem to have the symbol you use. Actually when I view this site on my tablet, your username/symbol comes up as an 'x' inside a circle.
To be honest I wasn't bothered one way or the other what my sexual preference was or whether it would change or not. I've always separated that completely from my gender, and for me, the two have no connection. I just happened to end up liking guys in the end. And I think that because all my sexual experiences prior to transitioning were all so unpleasant to me, because I hated my gross body, and most of those experiences were with women, it kinda put me off women, sexually, in a strange sort of way. I did have a few sexual experiences with guys whilst pre-op, and that did feel better psychologically, if not physically. Hence I'm not disappointed that I'm 100% into guys only. But that's just me, and I don't think badly of anyone else for being different to me. It's funny, right from when I was young, I was always very accepting and easy going and non-judgemental of any and all folks sexual preferences. I've never understood folks who have hang-ups over someone else being gay or bi or lesbian, even if that's not me.
I don't mind surprises, as long as they are nice ones ;D
My genetics have not been hugely helpful to me. I do pass, but there is still a lot of effort that I have to put in to achieve that. I'm very envious of cis-females (and indeed very passable TG-women) who can pass effortlessly regardless of appearance or preparation or lack thereof.
I sometimes feel bitter and tired, but at least I'm a bitter and tired old woman :laugh:
Okay so, perhaps this needs to be in a separate topic or something, but can I ask how all of you that discovered a new-found attraction for men came to realize it? Were you just like "Hey, that guy's hot! Waaait a minute..."
It was kind of weird for me, in that I had no idea what was going on at first. I thought I was having menopause-like hot-flashes, but I eventually realized it was happening when I was within smelling range of guys that I liked talking to and that I didn't find their scent off-putting. Then once I started paying attention to exactly what I was feeling it was like whoa...tingly! :icon_redface:
I guess that's another thing - butterflies in the stomach? I had NO idea what that even was before I started hormones, compared to what happens now.
I had always been attracted to guys, but after HRT the attraction is stronger for sure. My theory is that it is at least partially related to smell.
@IdontEven, I think I may have already answered your question in my previous answer. But the more I think about it, the more I might have fancied guys, deep down, all along. I just fought against my GD and tried to 'prove' to myself and others that I was a hetero guy, and yeah, that didn't work :laugh:
I think the first time I realised I felt something for guys was at school, like 18 years before I transitioned, I must've been about 12 yrs old. I went to an all-boys only school (yay! Not!), and it was some sports day or something like that. There was this older boy who had developed really early into a man, and was tall, big, strong and as hard as nails. He was letting other boys pay him £1 for the chance to punch him in the stomach as hard as they could. Seriously, this guy didn't even wince. Of course I didn't want to punch him, but for the first time I felt something weird as I looked at him, it was the first time I had ever felt horny or turned on. At that moment I felt an overwhelming desire to get it on with him, but I found I wanted to be a girl right there and then, and have him make passionate love to me.
That feeling drove me nearly insane, and I had to bury it. But now, I wish I had had the strength of character to come out as trans back then. But I didn't, I was afraid, and it took me 18 years to admit it and do something about it.
So there ya go. I got there in the end, but if only I had acted earlier, I wouldn't have half the issues to deal with that I have now. Hindsight eh...
Quote from: IdontEven on July 07, 2016, 03:52:15 PM
Okay so, perhaps this needs to be in a separate topic or something, but can I ask how all of you that discovered a new-found attraction for men came to realize it?
Seeing well built physiques (i.e. 6 packs, torso muscles, etc) on guys was the 'daaaam daniel' start of attraction. For me, it was like HRT; it wasn't a go-to-bed-straight-guy to wake-up-hetero-girl... like the mtf transition itself it was a slow evolution towards shifting sexuality. Making out with a lesbian vs. a guy cemented
everything hehe. Feeling weak and vulnerable in a guys embrace is unreal. Second puberty indeed.
Quote from: IdontEven on July 07, 2016, 03:52:15 PM
Okay so, perhaps this needs to be in a separate topic or something, but can I ask how all of you that discovered a new-found attraction for men came to realize it? Were you just like "Hey, that guy's hot! Waaait a minute..."
It was kind of weird for me, in that I had no idea what was going on at first. I thought I was having menopause-like hot-flashes, but I eventually realized it was happening when I was within smelling range of guys that I liked talking to and that I didn't find their scent off-putting. Then once I started paying attention to exactly what I was feeling it was like whoa...tingly! :icon_redface:
I guess that's another thing - butterflies in the stomach? I had NO idea what that even was before I started hormones, compared to what happens now.
I realized my attraction for men wasn't because of hormones. It had always been there but because of the machismo culture I dealt with growing up, I just never felt comfy admitting to it pretansition. The fear was just too overwhelming. I hid that part of my sexuality for most of my life and a lot of the abuse I've suffered has been from men so its been difficult coming full circle with this.
Anyways I'm still getting to know what I like and what I don't like in guys and so far I seem to go after the pretty boys I guess lol, at least that's what my friend says. I can't really relate with the sudden shift everyone talks about cause I pretty much see people I'm attracted to the same way I did before, its just now I have a better idea of what I want. But I feel like that has more to do with the fact I'm finally myself & my age, where as before I was really lost with my identity so it was tough to see what was real or not.
Quote from: Lady_Oracle on July 08, 2016, 06:55:06 AM
I realized my attraction for men wasn't because of hormones. It had always been there but because of the machismo culture I dealt with growing up, I just never felt comfy admitting to it pretansition. The fear was just too overwhelming. I hid that part of my sexuality for most of my life and a lot of the abuse I've suffered has been from men so its been difficult coming full circle with this.
I can connect a lot with this.
Quote from: Lady_Oracle on July 08, 2016, 06:55:06 AM
a lot of the abuse I've suffered has been from men so its been difficult coming full circle with this.
That's no joke right there. I am/was seriously considering trying to go to an all-girl's school just to get away from guys for a while.
I get all of your points about orientation not actually changing just being allowed to come out or uncovered. But for me, I spent a LOT of time with guys pre-HRT and I never felt the first thing for them. In fact there's this one guy I've known since I was 16 (which was a loooong time ago), there was never anything there at all, and now this tension has come out of nowhere. And he's either interested or trolling me (or both), but either way, he hasn't been much help when it comes to being chill in his presence. And it always feels like it's about 90 degrees in his apartment :/
The first thing I was not expecting...vivid color perception, especially greens. I could look at a tree and pick out infinite shades in the leaves.
The way I use my eyes changed. No longer fixating on one point, but using peripheral vision more and more. Like taking in the bigger picture.
Baby-brain...that is how my endo described the forgetfulness that started soon after starting HRT again. My friends even coined a new nickname, 'SpaceKait'. Am the only one in my group that can misplace 3 sets of keys in under 5 minutes. It sounds sort of funny, but it has led to a few very frustrating moments.
Not to be down on men, but I have watched the damage they can wrought as they smash their way through a relationship and going there just shut itself down within me. Playthings, but nothing I would want to deal with day in and out. In my years of self examination, I have found that my thoughts on relationships has not changed much...in the 90's I figured I was BI/lesbian and now it is PAN.
The biggest surprise for me was the fact I was not lesbian, somewhere along the line I started been attracted to guys. Now I have a loving boyfriend, who I love very much.
another surprise was I feel the cold much quicker, so I put something warm on much quicker than I did before
but overall the ride to womanhood has been amazing.
I don't remember really all of it... because I am used to it now. But few things that stuck: better smell, taste changed, sweat became more musky, felt more attracted to males. Biggest change: felt peaceful in my head, like my tender brain finally got the correct fuel.
I never understood the "tears of joy" thing. It seemed like an oxymoron.
After a few months of estrogen, I first experienced it at church when a visiting choir from a black church in our town came to sing with us. Their magnificent performance and obvious joy they spread made tears stream down my cheeks.
I was overwhelmed with a feeling of love, peace and admiration. Since then many artistic performances and some movies have caused the tears of joy to flow. I don't think the cold, analytical, testosterone based mind can comprehend this.
Colors are more vivid and vision less focused on one object at a time. I now see the forest, rather than a group of individual trees. I am also much more forgiving of people that might honk at me in traffic for some imagined wrong I've done.
On testosterone I was always fighting the world. With estrogen, I can just appreciate it.
Randi
Quote from: Randi on July 09, 2016, 03:08:06 PM
I never understood the "tears of joy" thing. It seemed like an oxymoron.
After a few months of estrogen, I first experienced it at church when a visiting choir from a black church in our town came to sing with us. Their magnificent performance and obvious joy they spread made tears stream down my cheeks.
I was overwhelmed with a feeling of love, peace and admiration. Since then many artistic performances and some movies have caused the tears of joy to flow. I don't think the cold, analytical, testosterone based mind can comprehend this.
I'm on just spiro, no E yet, and I totally get this. It's struck me a couple of times this week already, and completely blown me away. My goddess, is this what it feels like to be fully human? More, please!
I'm a bit frightened of what starting E might be like.
Well, one thing I did not expect so quickly was the retreat my testicles have taken. We have never been on good terms (and I am not so sure about my gallbladder's loyalty) but I did not expect this so soon.
It has only been eleven days. Another change is that my face seems to be getting a little gaunt around my upper cheekbones. While I have been losing weight which is the major impediment to transitioning, the excess weight that is, this is unexpected and if it continues, my what should be an open secret will be out sooner.
My Doctor told me to expect the pitch in my voice to change. Everything I have read said this will not happen but she was certain of it. I never counted on this as my voice has always been high pitched and everyone mistakes me for a woman on the phone since forever but it will be interesting.
I am content though.
Quote from: Lilliana on July 10, 2016, 11:00:05 AM
Well, one thing I did not expect so quickly was the retreat my testicles have taken. We have never been on good terms (and I am not so sure about my gallbladder's loyalty) but I did not expect this so soon.
It has only been eleven days. Another change is that my face seems to be getting a little gaunt around my upper cheekbones. While I have been losing weight which is the major impediment to transitioning, the excess weight that is, this is unexpected and if it continues, my what should be an open secret will be out sooner.
My Doctor told me to expect the pitch in my voice to change. Everything I have read said this will not happen but she was certain of it. I never counted on this as my voice has always been high pitched and everyone mistakes me for a woman on the phone since forever but it will be interesting.
I am content though.
Oh yes, now you mention it I remember my testicles retreating. Mine got so tiny in the end, that when my surgeon examined me 'down there' before my SRS, he quipped: "Oh you didn't mention you had had a bilateral orchidectomy". I replied: "What's that?"
When he explained, I told him that I hadn't had them removed, they were just really tiny now and had disappeared inside since a year or two ago, and that he'd just have to have a good rummage about in there to locate them :laugh:
That sketch from the film "The Heat" about 'the Captain's balls', always makes me laugh and reminds me of that moment with my surgeon!
My face looked more gaunt on hrt, especially when I lost weight. It definitely looked better when I put some weight back on, but then my figure suffered. I just can't win! :D
My voice certainly never passed for female before hrt. And after years of being on it, there has been no change at all :(
Quote from: Randi on July 09, 2016, 03:08:06 PM
I never understood the "tears of joy" thing. It seemed like an oxymoron.
After a few months of estrogen, I first experienced it at church when a visiting choir from a black church in our town came to sing with us. Their magnificent performance and obvious joy they spread made tears stream down my cheeks.
I was overwhelmed with a feeling of love, peace and admiration. Since then many artistic performances and some movies have caused the tears of joy to flow. I don't think the cold, analytical, testosterone based mind can comprehend this.
Colors are more vivid and vision less focused on one object at a time. I now see the forest, rather than a group of individual trees. I am also much more forgiving of people that might honk at me in traffic for some imagined wrong I've done.
On testosterone I was always fighting the world. With estrogen, I can just appreciate it.
Randi
Whilst I can appreciate and connect with a lot of what you say, I think you're being a little harsh about the minds and emotional abilities of men.
Before I was on hrt, I was quite able to cry easily. I was very "weepy", in fact.
The difference was the social conditioning and peer pressure and conditioning that tells guys that it's not cool to cry, and that it's a weakness. I have only seen my Dad cry once, and that was at his best friend's funeral.
I often got very odd looks before I transitioned if folks saw me crying. Maybe I just had a very emotional 'female brain' regardless of any hrt effects? I have also come across many cis-females who are as "tough as nails" and never ever seem to cry.
I will say that once on hrt, tears came even more readily to my eyes, so it does have an effect.
But the best thing was that the social stigma of "guys don't cry" no longer applied once I transitioned, and that was like a breath of fresh air!
Ah yes. The testicular retreat. My urologist spent some time looking for them with the sonogram. Insurance paid the the orchiectomy, as they were causing a lot of pain.
One thing I was not expecting from hormones, is heat intolerance. Where I live, it often gets over 100F in the summer. I cannot stand to be outside for more than 5 minutes when the heat exceeds 95. I start getting light headed and dizzy right before I stop sweating. Then I turn pale, and proceed to passing out. It is a dangerous and life threatening situation.
Since I had counseling, I pretty much expected the rest of the changes.
Sarah, are you on spiro? Many people on spiro are chronically dehydrated, which can lead to just those symptoms.
Quote from: Lady Sarah on July 11, 2016, 03:04:17 PM
I cannot stand to be outside for more than 5 minutes when the heat exceeds 95. I start getting light headed and dizzy right before I stop sweating. Then I turn pale, and proceed to passing out.
Have you mentioned this to your doctor?
It's not a typical reaction.
My doctor is aware, as I discussed it with her. Her best advice is to avoid the summer heat. Of course, she attributed part of it to age... after she looked at my chart and did a double take. She thought I was 35.
Just want to say I'm loving reading this thread !!!
After 8 months, I can relate to so many of these things - colour perception, processing things emotionally first, genital shrinkage, sensitivity to hot and cold, sense of smell, etc.
Other things, I only dream about. Ohh, how I wish my breasts felt like SOME sort of erogenous zone!
You couldn't possibly explain any of this to a cisgender person. Cis women don't know what they have never missed, and cis men don't know what they have never had. Sometimes I think endocrinologists and trans individuals are the only people who fully understand the effects of both types of hormones.
The one thing I did not expect was to grow a butt, but that is exactly what happened after only one month on hormones -- I can now fill out a pair of shorts pretty nicely, and my panties fit perfectly in the back where they used to sag a little. Before, my wife used to say I didn't have a butt, and I was actually researching Brazilian butt lift surgery as part of my transition. But looking back now (pun intended), there will be no surgery necessary.
It's interesting to see how many transwomen have also experienced major shifts in their sexuality. I used to be mostly attracted to women before hrt but had some attraction to men though. I guess you can say my attraction was 80% girls and 20% men. I had feminine feelings since I was around 9 years old but did have some very masculine phases in my life specifically 8th and 9th grade booo for first puberty! My development in my self realization has been really odd with many shifts. I remember in 2010 when I was 22 I started really questioning my gender again. I'd think on how incapable me being in a relationship with a female would be even though I presented as male and was attracted to women. I'd be sexually attracted to them but not be able to feel emotionally bonded to them as a significant other. Something always felt weird about 'being with a woman.' I nearly worshipped the female form and thought of how gorgeous it was. Now I realize that was envy back then. I'd find myself thinking about men romantically but not entirely sexually back then causing more confusion in my un-matured mind. The weird thing is that even before regular hrt when I was only taking saw palmetto, spearmint tea, estroven, organic soymilk, red clover extract hoping for some feminization(which a little did occur) something weird happened for the first time in my attraction and sexuality(at this point I knew I was trans and was doing a herbal gig then.) And here it is.. at my old job some really masculine strong man came in.. a regular visitor and when I seen him I got butterflies, a heat wave in my body, and could not stop looking at him.. I was trying to hide my lust but it was hard. At that moment I was very shocking thinking "OMG I am starting to find men sexy!" It indeed was a shocker for me. Then came regular hrt and it further added to my attraction to men. Now at 1 year hrt I'm 100% into men. I have absolutely no desire to be with a girl sexually.
Hrt has made me get nearly 'high' of the scent of a strong, healthy masculine mans scent. :icon_dribble: I find very masculine powerful looking men sooo dreamy and sexy! I have become very submissive and love dominant but protective good men. The mere thought of being embraced by a strong sexy man.. and pinned down on a bed with my wrists held above my head and feeling vulnerable makes me sooo hot and horny! >:-) I am in every way a straight sub girl in every way since hrt and am very happy and fulfilled with that change.
It really is fascinating how and why some people have such strong changes in character from hrt. I say this because as a guy I used to be into being powerful, as invulnerable as I could be and wanted to be a leader. Geez hormones are powerful!
Quote from: Randi on July 09, 2016, 03:08:06 PM
I never understood the "tears of joy" thing. It seemed like an oxymoron.
After a few months of estrogen, I first experienced it at church when a visiting choir from a black church in our town came to sing with us. Their magnificent performance and obvious joy they spread made tears stream down my cheeks.
I was overwhelmed with a feeling of love, peace and admiration. Since then many artistic performances and some movies have caused the tears of joy to flow. I don't think the cold, analytical, testosterone based mind can comprehend this.
Colors are more vivid and vision less focused on one object at a time. I now see the forest, rather than a group of individual trees. I am also much more forgiving of people that might honk at me in traffic for some imagined wrong I've done.
On testosterone I was always fighting the world. With estrogen, I can just appreciate it.
Randi
Isn't that just depression lifting?
It's early for me, but I've noticed no changes. I was always able to cry with joy, happiness, pride, sadness, whatever. At beauty, and even with anger.
I'm wary of suggesting that men don't and can't, while women can literally pick out leaves in trees while they sob at the beauty of the world. That seems to me to feed into the stuff that TERF's say about trans people.
It's been my long experience with very close female friends that some are very emotional, and some really aren't. Some have a sense of artistic harmony, and some have next to no taste. Some always fitted in with me, and some always laughed at my 'scatterbrain'. Some simply listen and share, some cut across to offer 'cold' solutions you didn't ask for having 'analyzed' what you're saying, in pretty much the same way as a stereotypical man will do, complete with the insensitivity that makes you think they must be a little bit autistic. The difference is, none of them are depressed and subdued about the core of their self.
Quote from: alex82 on July 12, 2016, 11:44:34 AM
Isn't that just depression lifting?
It's early for me, but I've noticed no changes. I was always able to cry with joy, happiness, pride, sadness, whatever. At beauty, and even with anger.
I'm wary of suggesting that men don't and can't, while women can literally pick out leaves in trees while they sob at the beauty of the world. That seems to me to feed into the stuff that TERF's say about trans people.
It's been my long experience with very close female friends that some are very emotional, and some really aren't. Some have a sense of artistic harmony, and some have next to no taste. Some always fitted in with me, and some always laughed at my 'scatterbrain'. Some simply listen and share, some cut across to offer 'cold' solutions you didn't ask for having 'analyzed' what you're saying, in pretty much the same way as a stereotypical man will do, complete with the insensitivity that makes you think they must be a little bit autistic. The difference is, none of them are depressed and subdued about the core of their self.
There is much sense here! Especially the last sentence.
My mother is pretty cold, and unbelievably insensitive at times. My father is more warm-hearted and emotional. There's all sorts in this big old world. When I came out to my parents as Transgender, my Dad took about 30 mins to get his head around it, and I was always closer to my Dad, and I worried how he'd take to his eldest 'son' actually being a girl. But he was fine.
My Mom took 6 months before she could even see me or speak to me again, and even then, she still took a further year to finally accept it. She's fine about it now. YMMV
In another thread someone mentioned that their naughty bits had changed their typical scent from male to female despite being pre-op. I can attest to that also.
The most surprising to me is that my hairline is shifting. I never had any real hair recession, and yet, hair is now growing where I never had it before.