Hi Everyone :D
My name is Elise although I still spend a lot of my life living by a different name which I would rather not mention :|
I repressed, denied and hid (expertly apparently) my true self for most of my life, out of fear, social anxiety and an overpowering need to be accepted. This came at a steep cost of steadily increasing depression, crippling anxiety (especially socially) and self isolation.
Thirteen months ago things took a very dark turn in my depression and forced me to be truly honest with myself and accept that if I was ever going to be a happy person, or even survive at this point I would need to do what seemed impossible at the time and transition.
Since then things have been a roller coaster. I had mixed responses from family although mostly positive I know some of them are having a hard time accepting things. I have had to start and stop hormones several times thanks to allergies and poor results, each time accompanied with very dark, dangerous bouts of depression. I didn't have any friends prior thanks to depression and paranoia but I have managed to make some since :)
I have seen a gender therapist, several psychologists and psychiatrists (the latter for depression/anxiety mostly)
Currently on my fourth and still hopelessly unsuccessful hormone regimen (E/Progesterone), out to friends and family but not work, presenting less and less masculine in public.
I am hoping to get advice and support here, and where possible provide them too :) although as a newbie I am guessing I won't be able to contribute anything of much use for a while but always happy to share my experiences.
*hugs*
Elise
Welcome to Susan's Place. Your time will come to contribute in the future but for now, learn and enjoy the site. Your problems with hormones are interesting as I have heard of very few issues with HRT. In my case, I am post surgical and have restarted HRT after 10 years off it. I am getting unexpected results off estradiol tablets and without progesterone. I don't know if you have tried that but as estradiol is a human hormone, I wouldn't think you would have difficulties with it. One thing to remember is that it can take 3-5 years for a woman to develop so the first year may not produce much in the way of development.
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Hi Elise :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M
Hey Elise,
I hope you find success in your journey. Setbacks can be so frustrating.
Good work for listening to yourself during your deep depression and realizing what you needed to do to be more yourself. Enjoy your journey to self-discovery and self-definition!
-- Sue
Welcome to Susan's. You'll find so many resources and other women to relate too :laugh: