I'm a few weeks away from going full time at work, but outside of that I have been full time for a few months now. Anyway my brother came from interstate to meet Dana for the first time this week, and he asked if I could first meet him as David, before changing. I agreed to this, so was in town having a coffee waiting to meet him, when I suddenly almost had a panic attack thinking, "Oh my god, I'm sitting here dressed as a Guy!!"
It was a very strange feeling, but I think I might be ready to go Full Time :)
Yep. Totally relate. The last time I went out as a guy was about a year ago, I had been full time everything for a year and a half by then... but needed to dude up for "reasons". I pretty much did have a panic attack - sweating, difficulty breathing and a pervasive feeling of wrongness meant that I'll never do it again... not even for "reasons".
I haven't had to do that thank goodness, but last night I came in with pizza to find Randi on the phone changing our internet provider. It was going to be in my name and she introduced me on the phone as "her husband". As I'm full time and we're planning a divorce neither is really true, but I went with it. Every time the woman said "sir" or "mister" it felt like being hit with a mallet! I certainly get how you're feeling.
I do drabs when i go back to visit my mom whomis in early stage Alzheimers. Weird things happen. A very hot looking woman hit on me and she def., knew I was tranz or gay. I am still flumoxed by that one.
i distinctly remember the last time i put on a guys suit and tie, slicked back my hair and spoke at a conference. It felt so wrong and so weird, almost a halloween feeling to it.
Can totally relate.