Hello everyone. I am Kelly. I have been lurking around here for a while. When I finally created an account, I thought I should introduce myself.
Growing up I was always overcome with this feeling that I was wrong somehow. I was happiest as a child playing with my female cousins. During family get togethers I felt most comfortable with the women. My mother and grandmother were teaching me to cross stitch until my grandfather stopped them. He thought I should be outside working on the tractors with my brother. That one hurt because I really enjoyed cross stitching, and I loved the time spent with my mother and grandmother. And, that was when I figured out I had to hide who I really am, man up and act like society expects me to act.
Now I am a 37 year old electrician, married, and living in the south east US. My life is not bad, but I know I am deeply unhappy. As hard as I try to "man up", I can't stop the waves of dysphoria I experience. Somedays are better then others, but every day has at least one moment.
This post is the first time I have ever acknowledged what is going on with me. The first time I have ever introduced myself as Kelly. I can't even begin to describe the contentment I feel simply typing that. I am Kelly.
Quote from: K3lly on August 05, 2016, 11:44:47 AM
Hello everyone. I am Kelly. I have been lurking around here for a while. When I finally created an account, I thought I should introduce myself.
Growing up I was always overcome with this feeling that I was wrong somehow. I was happiest as a child playing with my female cousins. During family get togethers I felt most comfortable with the women. My mother and grandmother were teaching me to cross stitch until my grandfather stopped them. He thought I should be outside working on the tractors with my brother. That one hurt because I really enjoyed cross stitching, and I loved the time spent with my mother and grandmother. And, that was when I figured out I had to hide who I really am, man up and act like society expects me to act.
Now I am a 37 year old electrician, married, and living in the south east US. My life is not bad, but I know I am deeply unhappy. As hard as I try to "man up", I can't stop the waves of dysphoria I experience. Somedays are better then others, but every day has at least one moment.
This post is the first time I have ever acknowledged what is going on with me. The first time I have ever introduced myself as Kelly. I can't even begin to describe the contentment I feel simply typing that. I am Kelly.
Don't you feel liberated. Like giant weight has been lifted from your shoulders? Good luck with your quest to find yourself. It's a quest I have been on for 65 years. But about 4 -5 months ago I came to Susans site and have learned so much. This is a great source because you know everyone here is or has been in the same position as you are. Until four months ago, I thought, although not alone, I was sure I would not find many in the same circumstance. Then I see the kids and their successes and wished all this was available in 1980 and I was not embarrassed to be truthful to the therapist. I may have fulfilled the dream much sooner.
Hi Kelly :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Here's a few quick links to help you along
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Hugs
V M
Hi Kelly welcome with us
Catherine
DawnOday, V M, and Catherine thank you for the warm welcome. I am looking forward to getting to know you all better.
Hi Kelly,
Welcome. I am also rather new here and have found the forum to be incredibly helpful. It's amazing to be around others that understand.
Hugs,
Heather