I brought this topic up in the chatroom and figured I'd make a whole thread out of it.
Are some FTMs on here into sports (any and all types)? Can you share some stories and pointers of your experiences with training and the actual execution of the sport pre T, and while you were getting treatment (if that wasn't an off-season process)?
I'm a wrestler in training. I'm still pre-T, expecting to have access to my first prescription sometime this winter. I will go through HRT while in the ring and expect my evolution in the wrestling world will be one that is quite special given how I'll be coming into my own and experiencing a panoply of physical and mental changes. I'm both excited and terrified (in the best way, if that makes any sense). I want to be an inspiration to other FTMs out there that want to make it in this business.
A few questions come to mind when it comes to what I'd like to hear about coming from dudes that are into virtually any scene (hockey, football, you name it):
1) How do you feel about public gyms and misgendering?
2) How about public locker rooms?
3) Name a few ways training and conditioning has helped you endure the wait for HRT and also make sense of the transformations as they happen. I know for sure that I feel a lot less dysphoric whenever I go a straight week training my ass off, I consider it as a sanctuary.
4) What kind of talk did you have with your trainer(s) about HRT upon starting the process? Logically this gets mentioned in any sport, even if the whole team doesn't necessarily have to know. Personally I would not hide it from a league I wrestle for - no harm done.
Curious to hear funny stories and inspiring thoughts. Thank you.
1) There are ALWAYS going to be ->-bleeped-<-s at public gyms, no matter if you're cis or trans. They're usually the ones who are also standing around talking to each other the whole time. The real athletes there will probably be too busy lifting to misgender you, and I have met some of the nicest hulks that you would've never expected to be so.
2) I use them, but I have never been brave enough to use the showers. When I change, I open the locker and use the door to shield my crotch from anyone's peripheral view. There is an unspoken code that I've never seen anyone break: don't make eye contact unless you know the guy. This might be TMI but I tend to let my jungle grow out for added protection from anyone's wandering eyes. There is a really cool prosthetic from Transthetics called The Rod, which I might buy in order to use the showers without being too timid.
3)Training helped me a lot Pre T. Excercise releases endorphins which combat depression, and I did notice that weight training seemed to increase my confidence and general manly attitude. Also, losing excess body fat is the best way to lessen dysphoria about hips, thighs, etc pre T because they will be a lot less prominent. Look up the recommended BMI weight for your height, and try to get down to that weight, (you have to look at the female chart until you start T or else it won't work) doing this will also make any increase in muscle mass a lot more noticeable.
4) The NCAA now allows transmen and women to compete as long as their hormones are in the normal range for their intended sex. Most leagues tend to use the NCAA as their rolemodel for rules. You may also be able to use "hypogonadism" as an excuse for being on testosterone, if you think that the league or coach may be transphobic, and your doctor may write you a letter stating such because it's technically not untrue.
I have done martial arts for years pre-T and post transition. I took a break for a few months around the time I had top surgery, and when I came back from that break started training and competing as male.
1) How do you feel about public gyms and misgendering?
- I've never been misgendered in a gym or on the mat. As soon as I let my coaching staff know that I intended to transition and what the timeline for that was, they got everyone on board and everything was good to go from there. I live in a really progressive city and I've honestly never had issues with intentional misgendering.
2) How about public locker rooms?
- I use male locker rooms. At the gym, I've never had any issues. I occasionally shower there, but they have shower stalls with closing doors so I can go in and take some clothes with. At the place I train, I typically don't shower after because I'm usually headed straight home. I still use the lockers and the restroom in there, again, with no issues.
3) Name a few ways training and conditioning has helped you endure the wait for HRT and also make sense of the transformations as they happen.
- Not really applicable in my case. I've been training since I was very young, so at this point in my life it's just a thing I do. At most, it gives me something to focus on when I hit points in my transition that make me wait. To the second half of the question - it was easier to tell that changes were occurring early on from a performance standpoint. My energy levels were better, and I'm not sure if this will make sense but I felt like I could exert more power? A lot of what I do is based on being able to leverage someone's weight, and I felt much more capable of doing that fairly early on T, and very quickly was able to work with heavier people than before.
4) What kind of talk did you have with your trainer(s) about HRT upon starting the process?
- I told them in advance of HRT that I was going to transition, what that meant socially, what that meant medically, and explained that I would want to compete with men. They said they had no issues with it, so I socially transitioned in advance of HRT and started training more with guys than with girls.
The sport I primarily do has what is essentially a governing organization, so the coaches had to get permission from them for me to compete against men. That governing organization follows the IOC's guidelines on transgender athletes, so as an FTM I had no restrictions and just needed to update the paperwork with them. I have had no issues training, and have competed twice locally with no issues.
Reading all this is very encouraging to me. I started doing regular visits to the gym, and it's been helping me a hell of a lot noticing that I didn't -feel- ''gender conscious'' or alienated by my own thoughts. I felt like a dude, and didn't endlessly compare myself to CIS blokes in there. So that's huge progress. Needed to work with that before I even think of setting foot in a wrestling ring, I can get pretty aggressive when my dysphorias take over, and I'll say it right away, that sh!t isn't worth ruining my focus with. I enjoy going often, even if sometimes all I do is run on the treadmill like an enraged maniac for as long as I can endure it. It's helped me work with delays - gotta agree with you there Max. When impatience and anger make me feel like I'll strangle someone, the gym is where I work with my demons now.
Also - lifting weights does help with manly confidence. It also seems to raise libido quite significantly. I spent about a whole afternoon last week writing a new strength training schedule for myself. I'm constantly learning new moves and tracking my progression.
Doing this for long enough is helping me chill a bit and feel like I'm getting closer to the ring with every workout I do. I guess I need to respect my pacing when it comes to mood swings and how I think they might affect my athletic choices and behaviors - I've been told by an indie wrestling veteran that later, I might be extremely happy I took my time before handing myself over to the business, considering the process I'm going through. Nevertheless, I wanna get started before the transition ends.
I'll post an update about where I'm at outside this thread. It feels good to share that with you people here. Love hearing your stories too.
Oh and I'm glad to hear the world of sports is getting more and more open-minded towards our community... very beautiful thing to witness.