OK I have been umming and ahhing as to whether i should make a thread about my surgery.
I am a very private person so making a story or post or log or whatever it is centred around me is very foreign. I am always happy to answer questions or provide input if i believe i am being constructive, but otherwise, just quietly try and move forward as life takes it.
So here i am, doing a post about me...bear with me as i am very very new to this and i am still very uncomfortable posting so openly, candidly and centrally around me as the focus.
The reason for posting in the end came from such marvelous help i read from everyone else's experience in taking this significant step in feeling comfortable in one's own skin.
Deeiche, KarmaGirl, Ruby Eliza, Carrie Liz, Jannike, kitten_lover and many others all spring to mind as people who just opened their lives up to helping me (and all of us) to understand a little bit about what to expect. And particularly for ⓥ for a post that resonated deeply about being able to help even one person on this world to make their lives easier going forward then the reward should outweigh the trepidation.
So let's get formalities out of the way:
I go by Dami, my pronouns are them, they and their in that i prefer neutral gendering. So the feminine and masculine words are both uncomfortable to varying degrees with where i sit on the gender spectrum (one gender significantly more than the other obviously).
Now how i present to the world however is based purely on not wanting any association to do with the masucline gender so my physical journey is with that in mind. How the world physically percieves me in a binary notion (until the day it doesn't...i might be waiting a while) is then obviously of the female gender. But me as a person.... very much non-binary.
So how did i end up here just over 2 weeks out from surgery with Dr Marcello DiMaggio (Dr MDM for short).
well i will skip all the gender related dysphoria bits, chilhood, heartache, loss, loneliness, despair, and longing and land at my story at the point that i wanted to do something about my face so that i could comfortably look in the mirror and not see those certain male traits that just stand out above all else (For me) on my body.
Onwards to the next part...
So my choices (again, for me) were:
Dr Suporn: meticulousness and eye for detail.
Adelaide Cranio Facial Unit: renowned cranio facial unit within Australia and possibly the world with very very very good doctors
Facial Team:Consistently visually good results that can be easily found on the web
Dr Rossi:Deeichie, Ruby Eliza and Jemma's results all generally happy (and Ruby's followup also showing Dr Rossi standing by their work)
Dr Di Maggio: known for very good work for forehead, KarmaGirl's and Jannicke's results and a big help from a fellow Australian who had just had surgery with them who took the time to let me know of their experience and how they felt Dr DiMaggio's work was. I don't know if they are on here or not but a big thankyou to you. (segway...seek other avenues other than this forum for feedback, find testimonials from support groups in your area and/or country if you can, ask the doctor you are seeing if they can provide a name or two as well maybe, also note though that the doctor will seek permission from the patient before providing contact details so it isn't like they break the confidentiality pact although all countries laws will be different around that anyway)
Due to a life changing event for the worse (I love you 'S' and always will, I hope one day you will let me in your life again), Dr Suporn and the Adelaide Cranio Facial unit got ruled out.
Suporn due to time frames (you book nearly a year out for them) and cost, The cranio facial unit, just bad timing (and because...Australia...every consult costs a reasonable amount even with medicare rebate and there were multiple consults with each surgeon that would have added up to more than a plane ticket overseas, so i just couldn't spend the money on the consults at that time to find out what the pathway would have been, it would have been really good for fellow australians however if it was a viable path travelled by at least someone...)
So that left Facial Team, Dr Rossi and Dr DiMaggio.
again due to events, my funds that i had been saving for well over a decade were no longer a given going forward so i had to be more careful about how much i budgeted rather than a cost no option strategy (excluding the US because USD to AUD really hurts).
Facial team were just a bit too much of a stretch with an unknown financial future to feel comfortable...
So Dr Rossi and Dr Di Maggio. in the end, i chose Dr Di Maggio, i believe that i would have been happy with either choice, but i swayed towards Dr DiMaggio due to the timing of when i wanted to book and the testimonials i was able to get.
To help frame my age as i tend to stuggle to find anyone my range that i relate to (here and almost in all aspects of my off line life), i just scraped into the Gen X category by a month and a half. so 1979 is the magical year for me. hopefully that helps someone out there looking to relate to someone around a similar age. I still like the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, Darkwing Duck, The Ducktales Tailspin, Jem, the Snorks, the Smurfs, the original NES, SNES (best console ever) and pc games older than 2000. So now i can say i'm on the tail end of the 30 something crowd....not much to go now.
I booked with Dr Di Maggio in late June when i was feeling mentally well enough after the events of the previous year.
unfortunately july wasn't so kind however...and this is another reason why i write this as the loneliness and helplessness have really taken their toll on my wellbeing and mental health since. so a lot of this is again to not isolate myself and find some outlet to just let this verbage out, even if it is incomprehensible.
The things that Dr DiMaggio will be doing are:
Forehead reconstruction (and Orbital Rims)
Hairline adjustment
Rhinoplasty
Jaw and Chin contouring and possibly implant
and about a week later through a partner clinic, hair transplants to fix the receding corners of my hairline
Things that are also included but i have not decided on yet
Lip lift (i assume due to the rhinoplasty)...i want to discuss this in person with Dr Di Maggio
Things quoted but again i haven't decided
Cheek implants, again, i want to discuss in person
Things i have raised but Dr DiMaggio would assess when they see me
upper blephoroplasty
Dr DiMaggio or more specifically Ximena sends some pre surgical tests that you are required to undertake before heading to Argentina.
They ask that you find accomodation in or around Palermo, Belgrano, Almagro, Balvanera or Colegiales
and they ask for a deposit, for me it was 2600 AUD (just over 2000 USD)
and picture identification to book the hospital suite i think.
tests include:
Skull X-Ray front and profile
Chest X-Ray front and profile (for the Australians, this cost here is 280 pre medicare reimbusement)
Full Blood Test:
Haemoglobin, Haematocrit, Red Blood Cell Count, White Blood Cell Count, differential count, platelet count
blood group type, factor RH (ABO & RH)
blood glucose; urea; creatinine
LFT, Liver Panel or Hepatic Function Test
ALT,ALP,AST,Billirubin,Albumin, Total Protein, GGT
Coagulation Factors:
Prothrombin Time Activated Partial Thromboplastin Time (aPTT), Fibrinogen
Hepatitis B HBsAg (Surface antigen)
Hepatitis C Anti-HCV antibody igG (3rd Generation)
HIV (Human Immunodeviciency Virus) antibodies HIV 1/2
And an Echocardiogram
phew.
so I re-applied for my passport in mid July and it arrived at the end of july, WITH GENDER MARKER 'X'!!! (not much of a deal for everyone else i know but for me it is quite comforting i now have a cardinal document where it does not state a gender)
Flights to Buenos Aires were cheapest with LATAM airways around mid july (around 8 weeks before planned flight day of 31 August for those looking to book flights). Journey would be Adelaide->Sydney->New Zealand->Chile->Buenos Aires. Total flight time approx 25 hours, total cost $1690 AUD
In the end because i wasn't confident i would get my passport without complications, i waited until it was in my hand before booking flights.
SO final booking was United Arab Emirates (UAE) Adelaide->Dubai->Argentina (refuel at rio). total flight time approx 35 hours, total cost $2200 AUD.
By the time i was able to book, UAE and LATAM were the same price so it was more what i was comfortable with.
I haven't flown alone before so I took the flight that felt less risky changing airports and what not (sydney dual airport thing frightens me). I don't know what it is like to be on a plane for so long but then both flights in that regard would have been a significant learning experience how to occupy onesself for so long.
I booked a place i think in Recoletta through AirBnB (a first in a long line of firsts here)
I planned to stay in Buenos Aires from 30th August to 26th September. Note Dr DiMaggio mentions that 2 weeks post surgery is enough if one does want to go home, i chose to stay a week longer just to feel ok that i am near the doctor for another week if complications were to develop.
I have taken leave from work as of this week, so 2 weeks away from work to get myself right mentally and emotionally before flying out on the 29th (arrive 30th August).
Surgery on the 5th September
Fly Back on the 26th September (get home on the 28th September)
I had my blood tests today, EKG and X-Rays, I fasted before the blood work (10 Hours), I don't know if it is necessary, but i just do it in case. They took 7 vials!!!! EKG Looks normal, X-Rays are going to my Endo for me to pick up when i see them on monday to pick up the blood test results. NOTE these results need to go to Dr DiMaggio, so one needs to get those results to hand on, i am planning on taking photos of them or even possibly having the slips they come on.
I'm now Starting to think about what i need to take.
Because i haven't done anything like this before, i don't really know where to start.
I hear the power pooints in Argentina are the same as Australia including voltage (well close enough at 220V/50Hz) so that's a positive.
I have an old laptop that i will take with a whole bunch of old games on it (Doom, Hexen, Quest For Glory, Realms of the Haunting, X-Com TFTD, warcraft 3, tomb raider 2, Broken Sword and Another World) as well as my WiiU with a whole bunch of virtual console games on it which i might use for the flight over and back. I am hoping i can get out to explore Argentina however as i won't get a chance like this again.
I have about 5 days to prepare before the surgery in Argentina so in that time i need to find a laundromat, a farmers market so i have plenty of food for the week after surgery when i assume i will be mostly house bound, and any visiting and additional tests and consultations with doctors.
Any other suggestions on what i need for that week following surgery would be grand, as mentioend, i have never done something like this before so i have no idea really how to prepare.
I am not getting afraid of the surgery as time gets closer to fly out date, but i am significantly concerned and frightened sh*tless about loneliness and potential depression. I am really hoping this 2 weeks will help to forget about my situation at work, deal with my feelings somewhat towards the love of my life not being here(this one is constantly on my mind :( ), forgetting the frustrations and stuggles of recognition of non binary gendered records and salutations, finding a way to cope with being alone, and generally just trying to get in a positive mindset. I am aware of surgery causing deeper depression, from the anesthesia and of potentially looking in the mirror to see a sight not akin to a positive image, of being alone and helpless in a foreign country and not knowing much of the native language either to ask for help (assuming they don't turn away from me due to recent surgery scarring and swelling).
I am trying to learn some basic spanish in the hopes i can at least ask for basic directions and use pleasantries in the native language, and let someone know how i am feeling if i am in pain at any point.
I am frightened but i don't really know where to have an outlet to talk with someone, again i can't seem to relate to anyone around me.
thanks for opening up, it's a good prelude for moving on with this part of your life.
I've continued to stay engaged here, even though it's been almost a year.
I was in BA by myself, some people say they could never do it alone, others do fine. The first couple days post surgery you need videos/movies/audio streams to zone out on. My eyes were pretty swollen for the 1st 3-4 days, was pretty hard to do anything on my laptop. I'm an electronic junkie, took 2 laptops, my smartphone and a chromecast. One laptop I used for regular email and web surfn', the other one I used for streaming music from radio stations from home, also it worked better for SkypeOut to my 80something parents. The smart phone for Skype to my partner, alarm clock app for meds, Netflix streams when I was trying to go to sleep. Then when I was up and about, I used smart phone with chromecast to watch Netflix and a couple cable channels which stream o the apartment TV.
Staying awhile after surgery sounds like a good idea, I stayed because I had hair transplants 2.5 weeks after surgery. Unfortunately the complication I had, infection under chin, did not really manifest itself until I was off antibiotics for a week or two. BTW, I completely recovered from that infection within 2 weeks of returning home.
Hi Dami, beautiful name btw.
Best of luck with your upcoming surgery. After reading all your posts, I think you should be fairly confident that everything will turn out very well. You mentioned loneliness, depression, not being able to relate well with others - if you do feel these, remember they don't define you. I felt that too and still do sometimes but I know those thoughts/feelings pass. Rather your courageous choice to be who you are will define you. To be open about it here is even more admirable, and I join deeiche in thanking you for doing so. These forums can be a wonderful opportunity to chat and even meet others. Feel free to message me for any reason :) You seem pretty cool! Your list of old games was awesome (Tomb Raider 2? haha I remember playing that on the first Playstation right when it came out. And I got my Wii U, still waiting for the new Zelda!).
- Ruby
Thankyou Ruby And Deeiche, your comments mean a lot more than you may realise, it is very heartening.
Just a quick update today as i count down to a week to flying out and 2 weeks to surgery (ignoring time-zones and whatnot).
Got all of my blood results and x-ray's back from my doctor today and have sent them off to Dr MDM just to make sure i don't need any last minute tests. I suspect i might have to do the xrays again as they kind of missed my jaw but then it might just be the brow bone that Dr MDM is really looking for.
Hopefully these images will work...(in other news, i need to find another image uploading service, photobucket is a bit blegh)
I have halved my androcur dosage which i let my Endocrinologist know about as a precaution for this 4 week period, again to stave off any potential depressive side effects which androcur is known to effect (without all the other complications on top of it).
Haven't started packing yet...that one will require a bit.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi139.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fq315%2Fbarned01%2FWP_20160822_13_33_32_Pro_zpsfzp7yqrh.jpg&hash=287c0a5bb318a92cdbc593449b167f0f2f5083df)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi139.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fq315%2Fbarned01%2FWP_20160822_13_34_20_Pro_zpsbh2mr37r.jpg&hash=928d130341568c876ea6894e33e5f910b8848106)
gosh x-rays really lay everything out bare about your structure.
Good to see i still have a shiny spot on my forehead even on xrays...
Quote from: confused_very on August 22, 2016, 04:19:00 AM
Thankyou Ruby And Deeiche, your comments mean a lot more than you may realise, it is very heartening.
Just a quick update today as i count down to a week to flying out and 2 weeks to surgery (ignoring time-zones and whatnot).
Got all of my blood results and x-ray's back from my doctor today and have sent them off to Dr MDM just to make sure i don't need any last minute tests. I suspect i might have to do the xrays again as they kind of missed my jaw but then it might just be the brow bone that Dr MDM is really looking for.
Hopefully these images will work...(in other news, i need to find another image uploading service, photobucket is a bit blegh)
I have halved my androcur dosage which i let my Endocrinologist know about as a precaution for this 4 week period, again to stave off any potential depressive side effects which androcur is known to effect (without all the other complications on top of it).
Haven't started packing yet...that one will require a bit.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi139.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fq315%2Fbarned01%2FWP_20160822_13_33_32_Pro_zpsfzp7yqrh.jpg&hash=287c0a5bb318a92cdbc593449b167f0f2f5083df)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi139.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fq315%2Fbarned01%2FWP_20160822_13_34_20_Pro_zpsbh2mr37r.jpg&hash=928d130341568c876ea6894e33e5f910b8848106)
gosh x-rays really lay everything out bare about your structure.
Good to see i still have a shiny spot on my forehead even on xrays...
Thanks for sharing your impressions. You'll do just fine in Buenos Aires. The city is very European and has a welcoming athmosphere. Being situated in Belgrano will make things a lot easier for you and MDM & team.
It is also a quiet part of the town. Make sure you get some help the first days after surgery in your appartment. I arranged to have a nurse through Dr Di Maggio to look after me for three days-Pamela would come 3-4 times a day. That was a very wice decision-it would have been difficult without her.
Dr Di Maggio and his team are very skilled and they do care. I do hope you get great results from your surgery. Having FFS can be a real game-changer..as it was for me.
Say hello to Dr Di Maggio and his team from me.
I wish you all the luck in the world.
Hugs Jannicke
Thankyou Jannicke, is it safe to assume that you are still satisfied with your results now that everything has had time to heal for yourself?
Just paid the final balance today, that is a very weird feeling sending what equates to a house deposit to another country without really knowing if you haven't sent your money to some scheme that takes it all from you like those email scams. I hope not, that is my only chance at this and represents my life savings. It is especially more concerning that it is a different bank account than the first. But i am sure it is ok, just paranoia sneaking in.
Next step is to work out if cheek implants and upper blepheroplasty are recommended.
I'm very excited for you. You'll find that Dr. DiMaggio and his amazing team rock! Don't be afraid to voice your concerns. He can seem a little intimidating, but he's a sweetie. Just my two cents.
Have fun if you have a chance too.
Hugs!
Quote from: confused_very on August 23, 2016, 09:11:01 PM
Thankyou Jannicke, is it safe to assume that you are still satisfied with your results now that everything has had time to heal for yourself?
Just paid the final balance today, that is a very weird feeling sending what equates to a house deposit to another country without really knowing if you haven't sent your money to some scheme that takes it all from you like those email scams. I hope not, that is my only chance at this and represents my life savings. It is especially more concerning that it is a different bank account than the first. But i am sure it is ok, just paranoia sneaking in.
Next step is to work out if cheek implants and upper blepheroplasty are recommended.
Positive, I would do it again if I had to. It has CHANGED my life. I was looking for an aggressive but natural result with must of the work being done on the upper part of my face. Dr Di Maggio and his team seemed the best choise out there for me(Do believe me... I did a most thourough ressearch over several years)..and I was right. Today I feel nothing but relieved and I really love my face in a way I haven't done before.
Important to prepare extensively before by living a healthy life and continue with that afterwards.
The only ting I was afraid of right afterwards was loosing my sensation on top of my head, but even that is returning beautifully.
All the best,
Jannicke
I'm starting to panic a little bit. The money went through ok last night and Ximena and Dr MDM are reassuring me everything will be ok. My AirBnB Host has even been wonderful to just help me with little things, but i just cant shake the feeling of not having the person i love with me or anyone in my life for that matter that seems to care about this. The nights are becoming more sleepless as i question everything that has culminated to this point. Of how much the cost has been, emotionally, with the loss of friends and my loved one, the ability to find a job where the employer doesn't look for ways to terminate me at what seems like every opportunity and of the rollercoaster of a society that just doesn't let me be me and insists on calling me and gendering me how they want to instead of how i state it.
This surgery won't change any of that either, friends won't return, work will still treat me with contempt, the one i love is long gone. I am doing this for me, something i have always wanted to do to feel right and better about myself when i look in the mirror and be more confident when facing the world, yet there is no support from anyone close around me to just help give that positive encouragement or even a hug to just provide some sort of comfort. I know this is the right thing to do for me but not having anyone to share what should be a blossoming journey with is getting really hard. 3 days until i fly out. I really need to get my head in a good place.
Thankyou KarmaGirl and Jannicke (and Allie) for the comments, they will help when i see Dr MDM in person, i just need to get to that point in one piece.
Dami
I'm so happy for you! I want to have my FFS with MDM, but my schedule seems to be conflicting and since I'm not "out" as a transwoman nobody really knows my desire to be a woman. I'm considered an effeminate gay male so this is so frustrating for me. I wish it was easier. I'm not even sure how people at work will respond when i return after the surgery. I guess I can just say I got a nose job as nobody else would bother to think I had my forehead set back. lol
Anyhow, you will be in great hands!
Quote from: confused_very on August 25, 2016, 06:48:28 PM
I'm starting to panic a little bit. The money went through ok last night and Ximena and Dr MDM are reassuring me everything will be ok. My AirBnB Host has even been wonderful to just help me with little things, but i just cant shake the feeling of not having the person i love with me or anyone in my life for that matter that seems to care about this. The nights are becoming more sleepless as i question everything that has culminated to this point. Of how much the cost has been, emotionally, with the loss of friends and my loved one, the ability to find a job where the employer doesn't look for ways to terminate me at what seems like every opportunity and of the rollercoaster of a society that just doesn't let me be me and insists on calling me and gendering me how they want to instead of how i state it.
This surgery won't change any of that either, friends won't return, work will still treat me with contempt, the one i love is long gone. I am doing this for me, something i have always wanted to do to feel right and better about myself when i look in the mirror and be more confident when facing the world, yet there is no support from anyone close around me to just help give that positive encouragement or even a hug to just provide some sort of comfort. I know this is the right thing to do for me but not having anyone to share what should be a blossoming journey with is getting really hard. 3 days until i fly out. I really need to get my head in a good place.
Thankyou KarmaGirl and Jannicke (and Allie) for the comments, they will help when i see Dr MDM in person, i just need to get to that point in one piece.
Dami
Dear Dami,
You'll do just fine :D
I wish you a pleasant journey, a nice stay and an excellent result from your surgery.
All the best,
Jannicke
We all get those pre op jitters. You will be fine! Hugs!
flight is in 4 hours, my parents are taking me out for my 'last dinner' in an hour, then off tothe airport.
The WiiU didn't fit into the baggage :(
and apparently i need to bring ice packs for after surgery so i have packed some of them also.
Hand luggage is just over 7 KG, stupid 3.2 KG laptop, i really need to find a newer old laptop that weighs much less.
Had a wonderful conversation with my former partner's sibling today, they helped to just talk though some of the loss related issues and encouraged me as much as possible to make this journey about re-finding myself which i hopefully will.
Well hopefully everything is ready, i haven't forgotten anything (reciprocity fee is paid) and this next bit goes smoothly until i land in argentina 36 hours later.
SMILE DAGNABBIT
Quote from: confused_very on August 29, 2016, 03:10:18 AM
flight is in 4 hours, my parents are taking me out for my 'last dinner' in an hour, then off tothe airport.
The WiiU didn't fit into the baggage :(
and apparently i need to bring ice packs for after surgery so i have packed some of them also.
Hand luggage is just over 7 KG, stupid 3.2 KG laptop, i really need to find a newer old laptop that weighs much less.
Had a wonderful conversation with my former partner's sibling today, they helped to just talk though some of the loss related issues and encouraged me as much as possible to make this journey about re-finding myself which i hopefully will.
Well hopefully everything is ready, i haven't forgotten anything (reciprocity fee is paid) and this next bit goes smoothly until i land in argentina 36 hours later.
SMILE DAGNABBIT
Yay! So happy and excited for you!!! Keep us posted!
well I made it.
Mental note for next time, get one of those pillows that go around your neck, not being able to lie down for that length of time is just a yuck feeling. Also bring lip gloss/moisturiser, the plane really dries them out (I bought hand/face moisturiser though). Strangely I only watched one movie in that whole entire time (the jungle book), the majority of the time was just spent trying and trying to just doze off in some contorted position.
Was picked up By Ximena last night without any hitches (the plane arrived early but that was about it), when you come off of the international flight if you are coming in via Pistarini EZE airport, just after you collect your bags and walk to the exit, there is a McDonalds and Mc Cafe just to your right, this is where I met them ( I took a picture of me before I left and sent it to them so they knew what I was wearing and who to look for which made it easier for them and less panicky for me)
Communication up to now has been through WhatsApp so given I don't have mobile coverage, I am very much reliant on the wifi network of the airports and the apartment (dubai and adelaide were free, i used some open network at Pistarini but I don't know if it was the official one).
They dropped me to where I am staying in the AirBnB apartment which I again met with my host Gabriela who was super nice and rushing around to do things to the apartment to get it right for me.
Sleeping was a bit hard for a few reasons despite arriving in the evening,
1 the timezone difference between Adelaide and Buenos Aires is 12.5 hours so despite being run down and exhausted from the flight, I don't think my body was ready for sleep when it thought it was time to get up
2 I have never slept in an inner city apartment and am very much not used to traffic noise...this might take a little bit of getting used to, the noise is non stop throughout the night but I assume this is normal for living in places like this.
3 lots of thinking and talking things through with myself (one of the signs of insanity apparently)
I have an appointment with Dr MDM this afternoon, I really have to think of some questions to ask as I hadn't really thought about it, Ximena gave me the authorisation forms and they have enough scary words to make you reconsider everything about what you have looked to for so long, something to be aware of after you have paid for everything.
Also on the agenda for today: going out to look for food, water, laundromat and other points of significance to prepare myself for the next few days/weeks.
Apart from point 3 above, the mental health is about the same as monday before I got on the plane, there is the realisation that I am doing this, but numbness to the consequences. Certain thoughts of the past year keep rushing back and that sense of longing isn't far away but it is mostly forward thinking step by step over how to deal with the next few days before surgery, this is where my mind seems to have focused.
Ximena took me out to do some basic grocery shopping yesterday.
They use the standard $ sign for pesos so the numbers look familiar. the conversion to AUD is easy to as it is kind of 10:1. So if olive oil was $560 pesos, then I could interpret that as $5.60 AUD.
also walked around the streets of Recoletta. WOW What an eye opener is on how large this place is compared to Liddle ole Adelaide. I didn't do too much as I had to be back for a meeting with Dr MDM later that day, but from where I am, I could literally walk in any direction and there will be something to see, I have to be careful with m money as I have only budgeted a certain amount for the trip but hopefully it will all last and I can be a bit spendthrift in the last week.
The language barrier is somewhat daunting but everyone smiles, hopefully they will have patience for me when I work out what they are saying and what I am trying to say in return.
The meeting with Dr MDM was in my apartment, it kind of had 2 parts to it, the part where we both got to learn a little more about each other, and the part where they poked and prodded at my face to determine what needed to be done.
They looked at the x-rays that I bought with me and like every person in their speciality, was quite intently drawn to them (I bought a set of CT scans of my face along as well where they were able to really look at the front sinus cavity and showed me what the mental nerve was around my jaw.). They come across as someone who knows what they are talking about, actually doesn't offer the world and doesn't upsell you with the extra fries. they are confident in what they do and they know what they can achieve. As for my concerns for the cheek implants and lip filler, well they recommended it as not necessary so that kind of alleviated my concern for those two parts of the surgery in the end anyway :). As for the Blepheroplasty, well we will reassess that when I go in for the hair transplant 10 days later but in the initial surgery, it will not be done. The Thyroid Cartlidge might not be super smooth as mine is very prominent and apparently I don't have much neck fat to hide it in, but they were up front about it, 'you won't get an excellent result but it will be a very good improvement'. Overall they said that I already blend in very well around the streets of Buenos Aires so the surgery will refine what I have and smooth out what I don't like. They did speak about surgeries where they have had trouble but the patients either had unrevealed prior facial trauma issues or issues developed potentially independent of the surgery many years later. But it was reiterated that this wasn't just a do the job, wipe your hands of anything kind of approach, they stress to keep in contact to let them know how everything is progressing not just immediately after surgery but weeks, months, years to come, and to just talk if there are any concerns and they will fix issues I am concerned with and also communicate with local surgeons unfamiliar with these types of procedures if there is a need. So overall feeling in safe hands going into monday.
So for the next few days, I am now off to see what this wondrous city has to offer, try some local cuisine, see some shopping complexes, try and find some parks and gardens, look at some of the architecture, generally try and take the doctors orders of relaxing as much as possible and being as healthy as possible leading up to the day.
One small side note that I want to document in here for prosperity was that my apartment host came around to drop off some furniture while I was having my consult with the doctor (I am not fussed if people know of my gender diversity, being open about it helps to normalise and educate anyone that wants to learn) and as they left they did say that I didn't need any surgery and I already looked beautiful. This was probably the first time I had really heard those words and let it sink in, especially from someone that barely knew me, it is so nice to have such a compliment from someone. they really have been so nice to me through this whole 'adventure'.
Yay! So happy for you! It's a beautiful city. I'm glad he let ya have "the talk" about the pros and cons of this op. I think a lot of people don't understand how tough FFS can be on a person. That was one of the things I liked about him. He doesn't sugar coat anything. And it's true, he doesn't try to keep posted on your progress. He just sent me an email, wanting to see how I was progressing. I went ahead and sent him my pics to which he responded immediately too.
So far I am happy with the "Back home" Post care.
Keep us posted!
wow what a place, after visiting the plaza el rosedal, and also watching some people rollerblade around the circuit, the mall on the corner of santa fe and colonel diaz, the cementerio, the plaza san martin, what i think they call downtown (san nicolas),trying to understand how lavadero's work (laundromats...gosh i hope i get my clothes back in a week...) and having a hell of a time interpreting what people are trying to tell me and what i am not understanding, working out grocery shopping, walking down so many streets, trying out empananas (which i would liken to different flavour pasties), avoiding the candy bars on what feels like every corner of a city block, i, have decided to take it easy today, i was going to have a look at the sanatorio finochietto hospital today (where the surgery will be) and have a little look around Almagro but i think i need a break.
i guess i just want to see what i can before surgery as i don't know how fit for purpose i will be to walk around the streets afterwards, if i will be bandaged up to the hilters or not.
i have bought some yoghurt for the days following surgery, i don't really know what i will be able to eat afterwards so i also have some pasta and rice which i assume will at least be able to be mashed up in some way.
still having trouble sleeping but i dont know what is causing that, (traffic noise, foreign environment, active mind that wont bloomin' turn off, body assuming it is on the other side of the globe?) hopefully it wont affect surgery or recovery however.
well tomorrow is the big day. went for another walk today to try to tire myself out for tonight and HOPEFULLY get some more sleep. I don't feel nervous, i don't really feel anything about what is upcoming, its all just a bit numb really.
I will be getting picked up at 6:30 in the morning, after that i don't really know how the day progresses.
I have not taken any last time photos or anything like that, probably because there is a sense of not really wanting to retain memories of a face i have struggled with the masculinarity of for most of my life, to look in that mirror and see those features that just dont gel with where i want to feel comfortable. i wont be taking phone or laptop with me (i probably wouldnt have wifi anyway) so will wait for when they bring me back to the appartment.
one mild worry i have is my allocated funds for the trip, i have just over 2000 pesos left and don't fly out until the 26th. i reeeaaallly want to try a lot of all these unhealthy torts, cakes, pastries and whatnot as well as some snacks (havanas and bon o bons, but i dont even think i will have enough for basic foods let alone the stuff i really want to eat.
oh well. i also dont know if i need to find my own way back to the airport and the laundromat/lavadero costs for the next few weeks also.
well of to bed hopefully i get good sleep and hopefully everything goes ok tomorrow.
All the best for your surgery today!
Going off past visitors to Dr DiMaggio I'm positive it'll all be worth it.
Hope everything went well. Rest and heal up!
well i am almost getting some semblance of vision back now.
for all of yesterday and a fair chunk of today, my eyes have pretty much been shut.
The are still weeping a fair bit when i look down at the keyboard but hopefully they will hold out long enough for this post.
Monday morning i was taken to Sanatorio Finochietto hospital, Ximena was with me the whole time from registering to being taken up to a changing room. You get this pretty funky moist wipe that you are supposed to clean your whole body with before putting on a blue gown and then a white vest over the top and oversize blue booties.
I recommend Wearing comfy warm trackies or something so make the exit trip much easier rater than worrying about jeans or anything.
I was put iin a wheelchair, wheeled to a pre holding room, for about 10 minutes and then i started to meet some of Dr DiMaggio's Team as i was wheeled on a guerney to the operating theatre. there is a clock just above the door as you go in, i think it was 9:15 in the morning by that time. The staff do your best to calm your nerves, then suddenly for the first time since arriving in Buenos Aires, I FINALLY got to have a nice sleep. It was the best, out like a light.
But like all good things (a star trek episode name) i was woken up. The doctors assure you that everything was alright, the only thing i remmeber though is being so so so so so cold, I was shiverring all over. They pup hot air under the cover that are on top of you but nothing seems to help.
I saw the clock again as they wheeled me back out of the theatre, 14:15 back to that initial holding room again. Again they pump hot air under the covers to try and warm me up, slowly but surely i begin to stabalise and stop shiverring. Once i am stabilised, i am then wheeled into the room where i will be staying overnight.
I desperately want water but due to the anasthesia i cant have any until about 7pm. Its at this point that time just goes to a completely slow crawl., I get a sense of the bandage headgear on my heads and the big wad of cotton swab under my nose. Talking is hard (during the procedure they say they put a catheter and a tube down your throat but remove them both before coming out). So i don't know if it is hard to talk and swallow because of the tube or because of the thyroid cartlidge removal, either way, swallowing is hard. You also cant breath through your nose which also seems to make swallowing and talking more laboured.
There is a doctor that stays with you all night, making sure you are ok and talking with the incoming nurses that take your vitals and drips every so often.
Dinner was....something, i can't really describe it and the doctor translated it as 'bland meal' i had two bites but didn't feel right, i just wanted the water really given i hadn't drunk anything by that stage for 24 hours.
Dr Di Maggio came in that night to explain the surgery, I had good bones apparently but the nerves that go across my orbital rims and bossing were in a blace that is not common which complicated it and has a level of uncertainty to the effectiveness, but everything else was apparently good. By this stage the swelling hasn't kicked in so if you want to see a picture of yourself, that would be the time.
Sitting up for the first time was a bit nausea inducing, i managed to stand, managed to get to the toilet , managed to get back to the bed then promptly vomited my two bites of 'bland food',, water and blood. This is normal and due to the anesthesia. After that, I was ok.
Sleeping was non existent again, I had a pain in my coxic and the bottom of my heel from the surgery so getting comfortable was soo hard. As the night progressed, the swelling started to kick in also to the point i have 2 red blobs for eyes. IIn the morning, one of Dr DiMaggio's doctors comein to change the bandages for the first time.
Well that is about as much as i can get out for now, my eyesight is getting hard to see again so to be continued later.
well my eyesight is starting to fade
Just take your time to recover. Don't freak out if you don't like what you see at first. Lol Your face will go through a few changes for the first few days as well. Stay away from sick folk too...you don't want to pick up any viruses or infections.
And also remember (as I have to remember too), you are NOT going to see any final changes until 6 to 8 months later. I'm glad Ximena was there for you. Isn't it amazing there is a doctor staying with you in the room?
Keep us posted. You are in my thoughts!
wow lots of details. thanks for that! Hope the swelling goes down soon.
Quote from: confused_very on September 07, 2016, 11:39:41 AM
well i am almost getting some semblance of vision back now.
for all of yesterday and a fair chunk of today, my eyes have pretty much been shut.
The are still weeping a fair bit when i look down at the keyboard but hopefully they will hold out long enough for this post.
Monday morning i was taken to Sanatorio Finochietto hospital, Ximena was with me the whole time from registering to being taken up to a changing room. You get this pretty funky moist wipe that you are supposed to clean your whole body with before putting on a blue gown and then a white vest over the top and oversize blue booties.
I recommend Wearing comfy warm trackies or something so make the exit trip much easier rater than worrying about jeans or anything.
I was put iin a wheelchair, wheeled to a pre holding room, for about 10 minutes and then i started to meet some of Dr DiMaggio's Team as i was wheeled on a guerney to the operating theatre. there is a clock just above the door as you go in, i think it was 9:15 in the morning by that time. The staff do your best to calm your nerves, then suddenly for the first time since arriving in Buenos Aires, I FINALLY got to have a nice sleep. It was the best, out like a light.
But like all good things (a star trek episode name) i was woken up. The doctors assure you that everything was alright, the only thing i remmeber though is being so so so so so cold, I was shiverring all over. They pup hot air under the cover that are on top of you but nothing seems to help.
I saw the clock again as they wheeled me back out of the theatre, 14:15 back to that initial holding room again. Again they pump hot air under the covers to try and warm me up, slowly but surely i begin to stabalise and stop shiverring. Once i am stabilised, i am then wheeled into the room where i will be staying overnight.
I desperately want water but due to the anasthesia i cant have any until about 7pm. Its at this point that time just goes to a completely slow crawl., I get a sense of the bandage headgear on my heads and the big wad of cotton swab under my nose. Talking is hard (during the procedure they say they put a catheter and a tube down your throat but remove them both before coming out). So i don't know if it is hard to talk and swallow because of the tube or because of the thyroid cartlidge removal, either way, swallowing is hard. You also cant breath through your nose which also seems to make swallowing and talking more laboured.
There is a doctor that stays with you all night, making sure you are ok and talking with the incoming nurses that take your vitals and drips every so often.
Dinner was....something, i can't really describe it and the doctor translated it as 'bland meal' i had two bites but didn't feel right, i just wanted the water really given i hadn't drunk anything by that stage for 24 hours.
Dr Di Maggio came in that night to explain the surgery, I had good bones apparently but the nerves that go across my orbital rims and bossing were in a blace that is not common which complicated it and has a level of uncertainty to the effectiveness, but everything else was apparently good. By this stage the swelling hasn't kicked in so if you want to see a picture of yourself, that would be the time.
Sitting up for the first time was a bit nausea inducing, i managed to stand, managed to get to the toilet , managed to get back to the bed then promptly vomited my two bites of 'bland food',, water and blood. This is normal and due to the anesthesia. After that, I was ok.
Sleeping was non existent again, I had a pain in my coxic and the bottom of my heel from the surgery so getting comfortable was soo hard. As the night progressed, the swelling started to kick in also to the point i have 2 red blobs for eyes. IIn the morning, one of Dr DiMaggio's doctors comein to change the bandages for the first time.
Well that is about as much as i can get out for now, my eyesight is getting hard to see again so to be continued later.
well my eyesight is starting to fade
Congratulations...the first few days are demanding, but everything gets better when you can get on your feet again. Hopefully, you have somebody to look after you in your appartment for the first 3 days after surgery,
It is a real relief to have the bandage on the head removed and take a shower after a few days.
Stay in there..things are improving. Have a good recovery.
Wish you all the best,
Jannicke
OMG sweetie I commend you for doing this all alone!
More than likely I will have to as well and your experience helps a lot!
thankyou so much for the kind comments everyone, it is so heartening to know people care about you out there, the world gets just that little bit cosier when contact is so close, even if just through a computer screen.
after the doctor changes the bandages for the first time, that is the new hairstyle and headpiece you get to wear for the next few days. As stylish as it is, i just wasn't able to rock it very well. The doctor also shows you some massage exercises for your jaw (i don't know if it is specific to if you have jaw surgery or not) to encourage blood flow and also food to be expelled between the gum and the jaw). All this happens quite early in the morning, i think about 7ish the day after the surgery, the overnight doctor left at around 6:30 so just before this. You are then left for a few hours alone to ponder what your life will be like for the next few days/weeks/years/decades, and what you did to get to this point. the morning meal consists of pureed fruit and yoghurt, this time it goes down without a problem.
Ximena contacted me on the hospital phone to let me know that they were on their way to pick me up and discharge me. By this stage i was close to blind, my eyes were swollen to the point of just having a slit. It felt like 3 or 4 in the afternoon but was around 11ish in the morning so time reaaaaallllly goes slow from here.
Ximena is so wonderful, they got all my clothes back out for me to change back into and literally held my arm all the way to my apartment. This is the point you wonder if your loose fitting clothes are loose enough as your head feels about twice the size and you don't want to faff around with pants that are snug.
I had prepared a bit of fried vegetables in tomato sauce a few days earlier but this prooves to be unpallatable. 1 because the chunks are just a bit too chunky, and 2 the flavour feels slightly off so my plan for meals for the next few days drastically decreases.
Foods to recommend:
Yoghurt (get to love it if you don't it will be your best friend) I started to mix mine with some bran after the first day to at least encourage chewing.
Pureed food, i cant help but think baby food would have been perfect but its too late now.
if you can find pureed fruit that would probably help.
Mashed anything (potatoes, pumpkin etc)
I had bought some ravioli which seemed to work after the second day, but normal spiral pasta was still a bit awkward.
The night was hard back in the apartment for the first time, you can't really do much, the laptop seems so much effort, you can't really shower, the bed is the only safe place, although comfort wise, nothing helps. I use the ice packs i bought up to start putting on my eyes and massage my jaw as the doctor indicated. Note i found this much easier to do with gloves to both hold the ice pack and to massage my jaw (which is mostly covered in bandages. Sleep is hard to come by.
The next day in the morning (2 days after surgery, Ximena checks in via text to see how everything is going, i send a picture of my face so Dr DiMaggio can assess it. The prognosis is use a lot more ice on the eyes and do more massage on the jaws. I thought i was doing enough but obviously not.
I also didn't really feel like eating again but Ximena strongly encouraged me to keep eating to regain and maintain my strength. My tummy just felt off.
Ximena dropped around later in the day to check up, by then My eyes were starting to open again (that is when i wrote the first part of the post), so i could kind of blurry and tearily see things again. with the doctor's recommendations they helped with my nausea feeling and also a little to help sleep. Progress was apparently good.
keep drinking lots of water and have something for your lips also,, the poor things go through hell. Dr DiMaggio is due to come the next day.
3 days after surgery and the day starts much the same way, keep applying cold packs to the eyes, keep massaging the jaw. I also did a lot of pacing up and down the apartment to not be sedentary. Eyesight was getting better by the hour by this stage. Still lots of bruising under the eyes and on the eyelids, but i was able to open both eyes ok.
Dr DiMaggio came past around 4pm that day. I lie on the bed, he proceeds to cut the bandages off (if you don't have scissors or there aren't any in the apartment, maybe bring a pair). the expression on his face is quite stern and almost concerned looking, i start to panic a little, wondering if he was thinking to himself, 'oops, stuffed that one up, oh well'.
Eventually the headgear is free although you still hold your head like it is encased. He motions me over to the mirror to see myself properly for the first time forehead and all (I chose not to do it the morning after the surgery or even straight after the surgery even though apparently that was the best time before the swelling kicks in). It is a moment of surreal reality, that everything i was uncomfortable in my face had at least been smoothed down somewhat. I touch my forehead, the numbness feeling is very strange, i keep looking, almost fascinated by the image staring back. Sure it is a bloated, bruised image looking back, but there is promise in there. slowly and delicately, my fingers touch this new face and the things that have happened to it, the stitches through the hairline, the forehead, the eyebrows, the nose, the jaw, the oddly smooth throat, all of it very much tangible and touchable and connected to a body that was mine. there isn't a euphoria feeling, there isn't an 'oh crap im hideous' feeling, it is just like a weight off my life, something that had always stopped me from believing/hoping when i looked in the mirror all those years, could just, hopefully, maybe be lifting off, that weight that i didn't realise was just so present and driving of my life, suddenly didn't have to be anymore.
the only person around to hug was Dr DiMaggio so he got it.
His commentary of what he had done was very honest. He showed me the bonewok that was removed and went through what he did, 2 cm of skin removed from the hairline (note it doesn't seem like that in a 2 dimensional plane as you have to account for the ridges in the bone work which means a lot of it is to remove slack, so my hairline, although more forward, only feels like a little bit more forward, but then i also have hair transplants coming up next week) the amount of bone removed from my brow ridge was significant, i had an issue where my orbital nerve was higher than normal so the doctor had 2 options in surgery, don't perform it at all or do what he could and hope that the feeling will be ok down the track, i am most thankful that he did what he could, I knew that risk very well before going into it, time will tell what sort of feeling returns to my forehead area. There was a slight brow lift due to the hairline incision, he did the most subtle change to the bridge of my nose, narrowing it slightly and removing a little from the tip, this was wonderful, the part i worried about the most because almost everyone has trouble with their nose. and then the jaw which was hard to see because of the staypuff marshmallow person look from ghost busters original, the pieces of bone he showed me looked really significant. He commented on projecting my chin forward but didn't know what would be best due to swelling to make a call on that and suggested i look at my face in a years time when all the swelling subsides before making a call on that. And finally that big triangular adams apple....no longer there, he was most happy with what he was able to achieve for me, i hadn't set my sights stupendously high but he exceeded even my best hope.
I go back to the mirror, fascinated at what he has achieved...
SO the other good news, i can now shower fully, get my hair wet and generally clean myself up somewhat to face the world, he talks about taking it very slowly around the scalp,
bring a bandana, head scarf, beanie or loose hat (all very clean and washed) and oversize sunglasses if you are a little self conscious going out in public with stitches in your forehead and bruised eyes.
And with that, he says he will see me in his clinic on monday (a week after the surgery), Ximena will drop past the next day to see how i am going and i am free now to face the world again, pretending to be the staypuff marshmallow person out in the streets of buenos aires.
Trying to deknot my hair which is already fragile, prone to breaking, prone to knotting and thinning just a little too worryingly took quite some time and i am still trying to get it all free as gently as possible.
Whenever i brush, significant clumps do come out, but again i am assured this is quite normal, although even i expected it. Still it is quite worrying how many times one needs to free their detangling comb of clumps of hair. Take it easy at the ends and progresssively work to the scalp, use detangling products to help, my apartment host also had a hair dryer to help dry my hair as i was trying to comb it (note i never use a hairdryer because i was so afraid of damaging my hair all those years,so that whole reverse image in the mirror thing when trying to direct the airflow is most perplexing).
sleep is a little easier, maybe four hours or so.
and we arrive to today, Again Ximena dropped in, encouraging and jovial as always, allaying fears of the big bad world and setting me forth... i went out into the world, small bandage under my chin to cover the scar not to fussed about the scar along my hairline, (my hair covers all but the centre section) some sunglasses to cover the bruising and my bottle of water.
I probably walked a little too far (3 hours but i was feeling it at the halfway point stupidly realising i had to spend that same amount of time getting back to the apartment)but i was just happy to be out of the apartment to see BA again.
I really wish i did bring more money here than what i had to work with, just to try all those wonderful looking pastries and cakes (although given i can't open my mouth fully at the moment, this is a blessing in disguise) and food that is staple for the City. (i still don't know how they all look so good with food this naughty looking though).
Tomorrow i try to pick up my laundry from the lavadero to see how successful i was, i still find that service strange to hand my clothes to someone else to wash for me.
Quote from: clawdeenwolf on September 09, 2016, 12:57:37 PM
OMG sweetie I commend you for doing this all alone!
More than likely I will have to as well and your experience helps a lot!
given the events of the past 18 months and actually realising i didn't know how to stand alone as much as i thought i did, the 'adventure' has been a most positive and affirming thing so far, to realise i can actually face the world as one and not shy away. I do wish my former partner was here by my side daily and hourly and still not a moment goes by i don't think of them, but on the flip side, this has also made me a stronger person to know i can make it on my own. I just hope that i can alleviate any fears for anyone else in a position of being alone in this by trying to describe the steps i took so it feels less foreign to the next person. so they have a sense of familiarity of the process and what to expect for their own journey.
I hope it is helping, even just as a journal for myself, this is the only place i have recorded this for my own prosperity. no-one seems to want to be too involved in what i am going through back home, the topic is treated as a dont ask topic so having an outlet especially after my partner left has been quite hard, this community has a lot of heart and a lot of compassion which is just so infectious. That lived experience mentioned so much in wellness and positive mental health circles is so so relevant to getting through life and actually reaching out to others rather than internalising everything. Something i tried to shield myself from for a very long time not knowing just how much isolation i was doing to myself. I thank everyone here for being so open and helping, you all make the tightrope of life just that little easier to balance on. Stay Strong Clawdeenwolf, you can achieve whatever you want to achieve if you let yourself.
And in saying all that, i am not even halfway through my trip yet so hopefully the positivity is still there at the end. I remember kitten_lover having a hard time after their hair transplant session which is for me next week so keeping depression at bay is still quite a high priority and hopefully by being open and honest, and accepting those positive words of encouragement in times of need, will be the difference to staying on the positive side of wellbeing and mental health, then all will be ok.
Wow you are all right regarding energy levels after surgery.
In the days proceeding surgery i was able to get around for many hours only really returning to pace myself. but today and yesterday, the walks i did which would have been about the same distance prior i was struggling a bit to make it back to the apartment. Yesterday was particularly bad, as i had walked for about 1.5 hours and then it kind of hit me that i had had enough and needed to return back for Rest and Relaxation...only i was 1.5 hours from home obviously given i had walked that far.
by the last 30 minutes i was seeking out side road food vendors for a banana just to find some extra energy and just wanted to sit on the steps of a random building to recover slightly.
today i took it a little more relaxed by looking at the national museum so not really much walking, but being on your feet for that extended time seems to be enough to just wipe your energy levels, i even started the walk with an egg and banana to make sure i was ok going out, but i still felt it by the end.
I have kind of given up trying to cover my face from the masses with sunglasses and a beanie (it was too hot for a beanie anyway), i get the occasional long glance if i am noticing it but overall the largest majority of people go about their own business. this is in busy streets and park areas where there are stalls of things to buy every metre or so. So hairline scar visible (in the centre of my part), eyes that look like i came off second best in a boxing match, big chunky swollen jaw and bandaged up chin. Que Sera Sera i guess.
oh sleeping FINALLY improved last night i think i was out for a good 5+ hours. It started with 2 sleeping tablets but hopefully i can now wean myself off of those.
Incidentally for those that have travelled in their lives, how long would jet lag usually last when there is a 12 hour time difference.
I assume it hasn't been jet lag after this long and it is related more to environmental but I am still curious.
Most of the time you can shift your biological clock about an hour a day. Normally when I go on a trip, I attempt to do that before the flight but I have only had to shift 3 hours so it wasn't a big deal. However the return trip was a killer.
Hi Dami,
I've been following your journey with great interest. Well done for being so brave and for sharing so much with us on here:you're inspirational. I hope the swelling now continues to go down and that you will be delighted with the results, as I'm sure will be the case.
Hugs,
Rach x
thankyou for that, it is much appreciated.
Well swelling slowly (SLOWLY) goes down. I saw one of Dr DiMaggio's fellows on sunday morning for a checkup to see how i was healing, Dr Juan at my apartment. Well they poked and prodded and stretched and pushed the wound/stitch sites to see if i was expelling any liquids, Happily there was none. Out of the whole experience so far, i have to say that was one of the more uncomfortable ones, i have surprisingly been in very little pain this whole time, not needing any pain killers at all (although i am getting uncomfortable memories back when they pull the VERY LONG padding from your nose the morning after surgery, that was a weird cross between gagging and fighting for air and coughing). So healing up to that point going ok.
Saw Dr DiMaggio at the Hospital yesterday (Monday, one week after surgery), Again i was poked and prodded, he put a fair bit of pressure on my frontal brow area where i had been too afraid to even touch it, If there is a slight squelching sound soon after surgery from the area, that is all apparently normal. again all went ok and he said my hair transplant on wednesday would be under local anaesthetic. (and to take a sleeping pill before getting to the clinic where it will be done).
Today i blew my nose for the first time and my forehead didn't explode so that was also good, just softly, just enough to clear it so i still haven't let rip as hard as possible but it was good to finally do it. Still haven't sneezed yet so don't know how disasterous that will be.
Still icing the eyes, that last little bit of bruising is prooving to be stubborn to go away, jawline still way too swollen to get any indication of the final result. I have learnt the word 'operacion' when people see me and gesture to my face (where i assume they are asking me what has happened), they sagely nod and then keep talking fast and way out of my linguistic zone (Still very much only know the basics).
Tomorrow is Hair implant day. need to have a light breakfast and will be picked up at 12 to be taken to the clinic.
With the exception of that one night where i finally went down for 5+ hours, i am still having soo much trouble sleeping. I don't want to be reliant on pills but i am so awake through the whole night. I must be getting enough as i make it through the days ok but it is disconcerting. And after tomorrow it will be even more interesting trying to sleep as i haven't fully rolled my head onto the side (kind of left it to 45 degrees) and they will be cutting the back of my head tomorrow so i wont be able to lie on my back either after that i assume. oh the conundrum.
some random pictures to help with context (sorry not comfortable with full face, comes with growing up on the internet pre social media)
Bruising of eye the day after surgery
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi139.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fq315%2Fbarned01%2FWP_20160907_10_09_01_Pro_zpsjn6igc4i.jpg&hash=4444c491aaaf7f7fa7326cddc30c3e3170380c36) (http://s139.photobucket.com/user/barned01/media/WP_20160907_10_09_01_Pro_zpsjn6igc4i.jpg.html)
Eye 1 week after surgery
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi139.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fq315%2Fbarned01%2FIMG-20160913-WA0001_zpsizracdwq.jpg&hash=bb670c30a4cc21535dc176a9dca9a3ad0a2b5b7b) (http://s139.photobucket.com/user/barned01/media/IMG-20160913-WA0001_zpsizracdwq.jpg.html)
hairline scar 1 week after surgery
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi139.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fq315%2Fbarned01%2FWP_20160913_10_26_04_Pro_zpsurdqbhtw.jpg&hash=a057ab12e1c523b45bf81f4e0337bc33d74a6ad9) (http://s139.photobucket.com/user/barned01/media/WP_20160913_10_26_04_Pro_zpsurdqbhtw.jpg.html)
It will feel a little uncomfortable for a while, and then the bruising will go down and you'll be able to see your new self sooner than later.
Happy Healing!
Cheers!
ok, this is where things have taken a turn.
Hair transplant day was wednesday (14th September 2016).
I was taken to a clinic think somewhere in Belgrano. this clinic felt a little like an aesthetic clinic where beautiful people go to have work done (laser, skin resurfacing, nose jobs, hair implants apparently etc).
this was roughly lunch time.
Ximena helps to fill in my personal details on the consent form. and then i am taken upstairs to my 'recovery room' the place is like an old converted stately home. my room was on the upper floor, and there is a wondrous open balcony area in the middle where you can see the reception below with ornate stained glass above. there iis nothing like this sort of architecture in adelaide, adelaide is less than 200 years old so we don't have this wondrous history and if we did then i wouldn't be able to afford to step into such a building.
Same deal as before take off clothes, put on booties and robe (you get to keep your underwear on this time) and then make your way down to the basement of the building Dr Juan from Dr DiMaggio's team is there who will be perfoming the operation along with another person Natalia.
You sit down on a chair, they grab a texta and then start drawing on your face, i asked for a mirror to see what they were drawing, my biggest concern to cover the scar at the front, the receding corners and not go too far down the forehead. The trade off for this is that they still need to go a little way down the forehead to be able to put follicles in in front of the hairline. So something was drawn, not quite parabolic, not quite widows peak, not quite straight line that joined between where the corners start to proceed curving around to the front and then curving slightly down in the centre to follow the scar line. they lift up the nape of your hair, cut it shortish and then texta the incision line and show you what the donor area looks like.... looks like a 1 cm by 8 cm strip
you transfer to the bed and lie stomach down, they put a blanket over you to help with modesty and to keep you warm and crank up som upbeat tunes (in english strangely, lots of english commercial music in Buenos Aires for some reason). you don't lay face down (especially given how uncomfortable that is on your nose even if my nose change was very slight). you lay your head to the side.
this next bit is all done under local anasthesia, i don't know if i can sugar coat it but i will see how i go.
...sensations warning...
you experience a succession of pin pricks in the back of your scalp followed by a slight pulsing feeling of the anaesthesia being injected. There are quite a few injections as they go around the proposed incision site. then the incisions begin. you can feel the sensation of the cut, as though one cuts through something sinewy you can't feel the pain but you can sense the tugging. it feel slike they cut through a few layers, ant you can feel each layer give way to the knife. There might be no physical feeling from the cut, but your head acts as a echo device so the sounds and the sensations vibrate off your skull. it is a vey removed feeling but it is happening to you. The stitching back once the donor section is removed, is equally surreal. you can feel the thread being pulled through and tugged and bought closed, that sound when you run string through a hole in a can, no where near as bad as that but the sensation of pulling thread through is there. it is not a pleasant feeling, i guess those that have had local anasthesia for tooth and mouth issues might know some of the real solid pulling and prodding motions.
So then you turn around and lie on this newly formed stitched area (don't worry it is still numb, it just feels like a hard lump at the back of your head).
they are worried about my pulse so put a saline drip in me.
and out comes the anaesthesia again with those needles. this is sugar coatingly uncomfortable, especially being so close to the other surgical line. and for some reason, i had a little section on the right of my scalp that would continue to stay sensitive, they tried another shot but it still stayed sensitive. they then started to proceed to start doing the transplants. There were one or 2 initially that i could still fill a sharp pain as they pushed the follicle into my head, maybe 1 out of 10 but as they got further around to the corners, it was all completely numb from the anaesthesia there. you can feel the tool that they use pierce the scin, kind of like piercing a potatoe or onion. multiplied by however many follicles there are to transplant. So all areas are done until they get to that super sensitive part. they try more anaesthesia...and wait a little bit for it to kick in, they ask me what i want to do, i just tell them to go for it. I can fee the initial prick acutely but otherwise the action if numb thank gosh. then it is all finished.
Slowly i sit up, they ask if i want to see, i say no. i am shaking a little mostly through my hands. Carfully they lay me back on a guerney and wheel me back to my room of origin. Set the bed to seat upright and get me under the covers to recover from the anaesthesia. I THINK the time was about 4pm-4:30pm. They also bring me a tea and biscuits to get some glucose and energy levels back.
Ximena comes to collect me a few minutes later but lets me recover somewhat before we head back to the apartment.
The taxi ride home feels like a long one, by now the anaesthesia is starting to wear off, the front of my head feels like i have a gravel rash scar from sliding on the pavement. The back of my head litterally feels like i have been cut open and sealed up. All pain receptors in full swing (unlike the previous operation where there was minimal to no pain).
This is the first time i am truly in pain from an operation. I take the pain killer prescribed for the first surgery in the hopes that it will work, unfortunately it doesn't.
My head is restricted, it feels even more so that you cant move your head in any direction more acute to when the headgear was on for the first surgery.Ximena checks the apartment to make sure i will be ok for the next couple of days.
I have lots of pasta and rice and yogurt to keep me going for the next couple of days, she helps to elevate my bed as i will be needing to sleep upright for the next 48 hours.
this is truly the hardest part of this so far, the pain goes just beyond the bareable point and sleep even though i have struggled with it up to now becomes even harder to find.
This really does feel like the low point of the surgery. Just when the bruising is going down to manageable levels fromt he first one this sets you back with a firm solid sugar coated shove.
the following day (thursday 15th September), the gravel rash feeling has subsided but that incision in the back of your head is ever present, it twinges, it pulls, it sends the occasional pain receptor into overdrive. it is not a fun day. i try not to take any pain killers until it is bed time. the day is an incredibly long one cooped up in the apartment, again unable to shower. this surgery, if it is even possible also makes you much more self conscious. can't cover this with a beanie or head scarfe.
the day is spent trying to restrict head movement. a pain tablet and two more sleeping tablets are taken to try and get something....it is not successful.
And so we arrive at today, friday 16th September, 2 days after hair transplant, 12 days after facial surgery), the wound on the back of the head has become a blunt ache, still hard to apply pressure on it as per sleeping but better than the last 2 days but still very much resent in the awareness category, head is less restricted to turn, looking in the mirror, i look like a mess (still can't wash hair). not sure on the implants but there is still a lot of residual blood/scaring/texta marks so i won't judge for now. Although they didn't shave any visible areas, i fully get kitten_lover's trepidation after this particular surgery. this one really rocks the emotional, and wellbeing boundaries.
Showering and washing hairafter 48 hours is VERY light and not direct with no conditioner), and it isn't until a week later (which will be 23rd September) that i can apply direct water to the area. this is going to be a tough week for self esteem in a foreign country with little to no spanish knowledge and surgery sites that i assume i now can't cover up anywhere near as much.
Quote from: confused_very on September 16, 2016, 11:04:15 AM
ok, this is where things have taken a turn.
Hair transplant day was wednesday (14th September 2016).
I was taken to a clinic think somewhere in Belgrano. this clinic felt a little like an aesthetic clinic where beautiful people go to have work done (laser, skin resurfacing, nose jobs, hair implants apparently etc).
this was roughly lunch time.
Ximena helps to fill in my personal details on the consent form. and then i am taken upstairs to my 'recovery room' the place is like an old converted stately home. my room was on the upper floor, and there is a wondrous open balcony area in the middle where you can see the reception below with ornate stained glass above. there iis nothing like this sort of architecture in adelaide, adelaide is less than 200 years old so we don't have this wondrous history and if we did then i wouldn't be able to afford to step into such a building.
Same deal as before take off clothes, put on booties and robe (you get to keep your underwear on this time) and then make your way down to the basement of the building Dr Juan from Dr DiMaggio's team is there who will be perfoming the operation along with another person Natalia.
You sit down on a chair, they grab a texta and then start drawing on your face, i asked for a mirror to see what they were drawing, my biggest concern to cover the scar at the front, the receding corners and not go too far down the forehead. The trade off for this is that they still need to go a little way down the forehead to be able to put follicles in in front of the hairline. So something was drawn, not quite parabolic, not quite widows peak, not quite straight line that joined between where the corners start to proceed curving around to the front and then curving slightly down in the centre to follow the scar line. they lift up the nape of your hair, cut it shortish and then texta the incision line and show you what the donor area looks like.... looks like a 1 cm by 8 cm strip
you transfer to the bed and lie stomach down, they put a blanket over you to help with modesty and to keep you warm and crank up som upbeat tunes (in english strangely, lots of english commercial music in Buenos Aires for some reason). you don't lay face down (especially given how uncomfortable that is on your nose even if my nose change was very slight). you lay your head to the side.
this next bit is all done under local anasthesia, i don't know if i can sugar coat it but i will see how i go.
...sensations warning...
you experience a succession of pin pricks in the back of your scalp followed by a slight pulsing feeling of the anaesthesia being injected. There are quite a few injections as they go around the proposed incision site. then the incisions begin. you can feel the sensation of the cut, as though one cuts through something sinewy you can't feel the pain but you can sense the tugging. it feel slike they cut through a few layers, ant you can feel each layer give way to the knife. There might be no physical feeling from the cut, but your head acts as a echo device so the sounds and the sensations vibrate off your skull. it is a vey removed feeling but it is happening to you. The stitching back once the donor section is removed, is equally surreal. you can feel the thread being pulled through and tugged and bought closed, that sound when you run string through a hole in a can, no where near as bad as that but the sensation of pulling thread through is there. it is not a pleasant feeling, i guess those that have had local anasthesia for tooth and mouth issues might know some of the real solid pulling and prodding motions.
So then you turn around and lie on this newly formed stitched area (don't worry it is still numb, it just feels like a hard lump at the back of your head).
they are worried about my pulse so put a saline drip in me.
and out comes the anaesthesia again with those needles. this is sugar coatingly uncomfortable, especially being so close to the other surgical line. and for some reason, i had a little section on the right of my scalp that would continue to stay sensitive, they tried another shot but it still stayed sensitive. they then started to proceed to start doing the transplants. There were one or 2 initially that i could still fill a sharp pain as they pushed the follicle into my head, maybe 1 out of 10 but as they got further around to the corners, it was all completely numb from the anaesthesia there. you can feel the tool that they use pierce the scin, kind of like piercing a potatoe or onion. multiplied by however many follicles there are to transplant. So all areas are done until they get to that super sensitive part. they try more anaesthesia...and wait a little bit for it to kick in, they ask me what i want to do, i just tell them to go for it. I can fee the initial prick acutely but otherwise the action if numb thank gosh. then it is all finished.
Slowly i sit up, they ask if i want to see, i say no. i am shaking a little mostly through my hands. Carfully they lay me back on a guerney and wheel me back to my room of origin. Set the bed to seat upright and get me under the covers to recover from the anaesthesia. I THINK the time was about 4pm-4:30pm. They also bring me a tea and biscuits to get some glucose and energy levels back.
Ximena comes to collect me a few minutes later but lets me recover somewhat before we head back to the apartment.
The taxi ride home feels like a long one, by now the anaesthesia is starting to wear off, the front of my head feels like i have a gravel rash scar from sliding on the pavement. The back of my head litterally feels like i have been cut open and sealed up. All pain receptors in full swing (unlike the previous operation where there was minimal to no pain).
This is the first time i am truly in pain from an operation. I take the pain killer prescribed for the first surgery in the hopes that it will work, unfortunately it doesn't.
My head is restricted, it feels even more so that you cant move your head in any direction more acute to when the headgear was on for the first surgery.Ximena checks the apartment to make sure i will be ok for the next couple of days.
I have lots of pasta and rice and yogurt to keep me going for the next couple of days, she helps to elevate my bed as i will be needing to sleep upright for the next 48 hours.
this is truly the hardest part of this so far, the pain goes just beyond the bareable point and sleep even though i have struggled with it up to now becomes even harder to find.
This really does feel like the low point of the surgery. Just when the bruising is going down to manageable levels fromt he first one this sets you back with a firm solid sugar coated shove.
the following day (thursday 15th September), the gravel rash feeling has subsided but that incision in the back of your head is ever present, it twinges, it pulls, it sends the occasional pain receptor into overdrive. it is not a fun day. i try not to take any pain killers until it is bed time. the day is an incredibly long one cooped up in the apartment, again unable to shower. this surgery, if it is even possible also makes you much more self conscious. can't cover this with a beanie or head scarfe.
the day is spent trying to restrict head movement. a pain tablet and two more sleeping tablets are taken to try and get something....it is not successful.
And so we arrive at today, friday 16th September, 2 days after hair transplant, 12 days after facial surgery), the wound on the back of the head has become a blunt ache, still hard to apply pressure on it as per sleeping but better than the last 2 days but still very much resent in the awareness category, head is less restricted to turn, looking in the mirror, i look like a mess (still can't wash hair). not sure on the implants but there is still a lot of residual blood/scaring/texta marks so i won't judge for now. Although they didn't shave any visible areas, i fully get kitten_lover's trepidation after this particular surgery. this one really rocks the emotional, and wellbeing boundaries.
Showering and washing hairafter 48 hours is VERY light and not direct with no conditioner), and it isn't until a week later (which will be 23rd September) that i can apply direct water to the area. this is going to be a tough week for self esteem in a foreign country with little to no spanish knowledge and surgery sites that i assume i now can't cover up anywhere near as much.
My thoughts and hopes are with you as you recover from your surgeries. Hang in there. You'll be going through a lot in your head. People don't seem to understand how much these surgeries can kick your butt. I'm sending you BIG HUGS!
My heart goes out to you. I know it's hard being cooped up. Remember that it's going to get better day by day, girl. This is the worst part, but in time you'll have a lovely head of hair to go with your lovely new face!
Hugs!
Rhonda
well managed to somehow wash my hair as per instructions:
INSTRUCTIONS
first 48 hours
-dont wash hair
-keep head elevated especially during sleep a pillow can be applied to the nape of the head to suppport it
-apply cold compress to area BELOW the transplants not directly on it.
after 48 Hours
- wash hair with shampoo only
-lather shampoo in hands until foamy and GENTLY apply to the follicle transplant area with fingers
-do not allow the shower head spray to come into direct contact with the follicle area only water should be gently flowing over the area to wash the shampoo out. rinse thoughrouly
-continue applying cold compress to area below the transplants, not directly on it
-wash hair every day
after 1 week
-may wash with shower head spray directly
-massage area with fingertips and apply some pressure
-can now use conditioner
These instructions are interpreted and are obviously prescribed to me so may not apply to your own situation.
first attempt i covered the translant area with both my hands and titlted my head forward to let the shower water run down the front of my face.
Second attempt, i tried slowly pouring a jug over the area.
the doctor came by last night (saturday, 3 days after hair transplant) to have a look and also have a look at the whole surgery in general to see how i was healing, everything apparently seems to be healing ok.
i can apparently go outside but i didn't exactly bring anything appropriate to cover my hair and my budget hasn't quite worked out as planned so if i do go out, it will be on display. this bit for some reason feels more self aware than the stitch on my chin or the redness around my eyes or the swelling through my jaw.
sleeping is almost non existent, there is no way you can put your head where you aren't lying on a stitch site or tranplant site, either from the first surgery or the transplant scar. the transplant scar feels like an ever present lump.
this is the point i question the surgery results in my head and if i have done all this for nought.
i still look in the mirror and i see a mess. i keep saying to myself it is swelling and bruising and it isn't the final result but then i question that and wonder if it is more or less the final result within a few percent. the numb spots, the pins and needles spots, the tight scar spots, the strange spots that trigger nerve sensations...will this be my life going forward, the risks i accepted at the start now sinking firmly in on the permanancy of it all. i look at the transplant area, it is still going to be a sparse area with a few follicles, maybe my expectations on this were way higher than they should have been. texta marks still present (too afraid to apply too much pressure or rubbing to the area) the scarring around the follicles exacerbating the visual impact of the area.
i have enough food to last the day (ravioli, eggs, a potatoe, a carrot, and some package sauce) but i am clearly going to need to go out and restock either tonight or tomorrow. I am going to need to face the world again.
Confidence before even with the scarline and the chin scar was ok, but now, the cogs turn in your head throwing doubt every which way. Its still just over a week before I fly back out, the extra week I chose to stay to be near the doctors if complications arose during recovery. hopefully the confidence will return even if it is just for a week. even just to get out and get fresh air.
Quote from: confused_very on September 18, 2016, 11:52:16 AM
well managed to somehow wash my hair as per instructions:
INSTRUCTIONS
first 48 hours
-dont wash hair
-keep head elevated especially during sleep a pillow can be applied to the nape of the head to suppport it
-apply cold compress to area BELOW the transplants not directly on it.
after 48 Hours
- wash hair with shampoo only
-lather shampoo in hands until foamy and GENTLY apply to the follicle transplant area with fingers
-do not allow the shower head spray to come into direct contact with the follicle area only water should be gently flowing over the area to wash the shampoo out. rinse thoughrouly
-continue applying cold compress to area below the transplants, not directly on it
-wash hair every day
after 1 week
-may wash with shower head spray directly
-massage area with fingertips and apply some pressure
-can now use conditioner
These instructions are interpreted and are obviously prescribed to me so may not apply to your own situation.
first attempt i covered the translant area with both my hands and titlted my head forward to let the shower water run down the front of my face.
Second attempt, i tried slowly pouring a jug over the area.
the doctor came by last night (saturday, 3 days after hair transplant) to have a look and also have a look at the whole surgery in general to see how i was healing, everything apparently seems to be healing ok.
i can apparently go outside but i didn't exactly bring anything appropriate to cover my hair and my budget hasn't quite worked out as planned so if i do go out, it will be on display. this bit for some reason feels more self aware than the stitch on my chin or the redness around my eyes or the swelling through my jaw.
sleeping is almost non existent, there is no way you can put your head where you aren't lying on a stitch site or tranplant site, either from the first surgery or the transplant scar. the transplant scar feels like an ever present lump.
this is the point i question the surgery results in my head and if i have done all this for nought.
i still look in the mirror and i see a mess. i keep saying to myself it is swelling and bruising and it isn't the final result but then i question that and wonder if it is more or less the final result within a few percent. the numb spots, the pins and needles spots, the tight scar spots, the strange spots that trigger nerve sensations...will this be my life going forward, the risks i accepted at the start now sinking firmly in on the permanancy of it all. i look at the transplant area, it is still going to be a sparse area with a few follicles, maybe my expectations on this were way higher than they should have been. texta marks still present (too afraid to apply too much pressure or rubbing to the area) the scarring around the follicles exacerbating the visual impact of the area.
i have enough food to last the day (ravioli, eggs, a potatoe, a carrot, and some package sauce) but i am clearly going to need to go out and restock either tonight or tomorrow. I am going to need to face the world again.
Confidence before even with the scarline and the chin scar was ok, but now, the cogs turn in your head throwing doubt every which way. Its still just over a week before I fly back out, the extra week I chose to stay to be near the doctors if complications arose during recovery. hopefully the confidence will return even if it is just for a week. even just to get out and get fresh air.
You're doing fine :-)
It can only get better now.
I remember being in Bangkok 9 months ago in connection with my hairtransplantation and made use of a loose hat that worked wonders for me outside.
Big hug
Jannicke
hugs hang in there! I can imagine feeling like it was all for naught at such a point. I hope it improves.
i imagine I may be feeling like that for the first month or two after surgery, myself =/
thankyou all for your well wishes, its at times like this that knowing that someone is just there, listening (reading), acknowledging your thoughts, just being that sounding board to just let it out to have that relief point to pour out to. It really means a lot.
yesterday was week 2 after surgery (the primary one, not the hair implants)
Dr DiMaggio had another patient in the morning, I hope they are ok, I did pass on my contact details so they can also have a sympathetic ear for what they will be going through. Those memories of those first three days flood back and you hope they have someone to just reach out to when they need..
I see Dr DiMaggio in the late afternoon at the hospital. I assume it was after the new patient.
Ximena is there to support me, Dr Juan also is accompanying as well.
so all four of us are in this little consulting room.
Dr DiMaggio asks how it has been, its hard to answer because I don't know what sensations are normal, are abnormal, are permanent, are subsiding? He is a very optimistic person, always making you feel ok with the situation. They start to remove the stitches around my head and under my chin. This wasn't in the manual, I thought they were dissolvable and I wouldn't have to get them removed. But sure enough, the lost in translation, non dissolvable stitches proceeded to be cut out, Dr Juan doing the scalp ones, Dr DiMaggio the chin. there are a few tweaks of mild discomfort but ultimately anticlimactic. They ask if I like what I see, I can't answer. Again I don't know how much of my face is swelling and how much is actually normal now, I don't know what to answer. I still look in the mirror, I still see the bruising under my eyes which I think distorts my view, I still see a cheek and jaw line that looks puffy and ill defined. I say I can't answer, I need to wait some time for the swelling to subside, I just don't know.
They take photos of me without the stitches. Side profile and front on.
Dr DiMaggio shows the before and after's to me. side profile.
Taking into account I never took photos of myself before because I always hated looking at the photos, I take the quickest of looks due to being self conscious. maybe a second or 2
It is stark there in front of me, the differences night and day, especially around my eyes. so much more open. the original image just drilling home to me why I needed this for myself. How come he can capture in a photo what I miss when I look in the mirror? Well that's not entirely fair, I don't miss it, I just focus on the things that are still healing and miss the overall macro level of what he has done for me.
He looks at me and asks me why I am worried, the expression on my face not one of joy. Have I really forgotten how to smile. The team are so up beat and positive towards me, it is infectious. He clears me and says I am free to go home (My actual home) if I want. I am here for another week though of course.
I ask Dr Juan about the stitches at the back of my head where the transplant donor site was, those stitches still need to be in there for at least another 2 weeks (when I am back home....so I need to find a GP/nurse at home to remove them).
So I make my way back to the apartment and look in the mirror again when I get home. I still struggle to see the final result through what I assume/hope is still swelling and bruising....BUT....this time I smile at the image reflected back at me something for some reason I haven't done when looking in the mirror while being here. It makes all the difference, finally I see a more positive person looking back at me. through the red eyes, the bulky jaw, the hairline of implants, they all fade for a moment as the smile penetrates back. Maybe this will all work out ok.
And with newfound emotional strength to venture outside, the next week holds more wonders of exploration of a glorious city.
I'm going to make it, i can see an end in sight...well a 30+ hour plane flight but same thing.
I have to be careful with my money as I really didn't come with enough to enjoy this city as a holiday destination, I treated it as going for a specific cause with any enjoyment to be had as a bonus, that was short sighted. This last week I need to make the most of this once in a lifetime opportunity, who knows if I will be able to afford to come back again as a holiday destination. For what I have scrimped since being here, hopefully I can enjoy the flavours of this city a little more in this final week (no matter how unhealthy they appear to be). Rice, pasta, vegetables, eggs and yoghurt have served me well up to now, but hopefully there is a little now in the kitty to try something more substantial.
hopefully i can smile now.
You have reason to smile now! What a difference to go from not wanting to look at your own image to looking at it and smiling at the person you see. And that is going to get even better as you heal!
Hugs!!
QuoteBUT....this time I smile at the image reflected back at me something for some reason I haven't done when looking in the mirror while being here. It makes all the difference, finally I see a more positive person looking back at me. through the red eyes, the bulky jaw, the hairline of implants, they all fade for a moment as the smile penetrates back. Maybe this will all work out ok.
Brought tears to my eyes. Hope you continue to heal and smile! <3
well yesterday (friday 23 september 2016) was the last visit from DrMDM. Everything apparently appears to be healing ok and they have confirmed swelling still exists in my lower jaw, but even since monday when i last saw them, everything is still changing on a daiily basis, the swelling continues to subside from places, the bruising gradually fading into nothingness.
He reminds me to live my life, to not focus on this aspect anymore (well at least not to this extent), to let time do its thing with the healing and to occupy my mind with many other thoughts. And of course they want to stay in touch and see how i am progressing with pictures.
So as the final days of this part of the journey come to a close, i can look back and know that i made it, and it was (hopefully) all worth it.
I will see Ximena one last time on Monday and then back home to Adelaide (I must say the whole communication from everyone over this time has been just wonderful, i never felt i had been just forgotten about at all).
I'm down to the last few pesos but i wanted to get a little yerba mate pot to bring back as a souvenir (because you know, looking in the mirror every day wasn't enough of a reminder of this leg of the neverending story/voyage).
hopefully sleep will return also at some stage, i really miss it.
Quote from: confused_very on September 24, 2016, 12:33:32 PM
well yesterday (friday 23 september 2016) was the last visit from DrMDM. Everything apparently appears to be healing ok and they have confirmed swelling still exists in my lower jaw, but even since monday when i last saw them, everything is still changing on a daiily basis, the swelling continues to subside from places, the bruising gradually fading into nothingness.
He reminds me to live my life, to not focus on this aspect anymore (well at least not to this extent), to let time do its thing with the healing and to occupy my mind with many other thoughts. And of course they want to stay in touch and see how i am progressing with pictures.
So as the final days of this part of the journey come to a close, i can look back and know that i made it, and it was (hopefully) all worth it.
I will see Ximena one last time on Monday and then back home to Adelaide (I must say the whole communication from everyone over this time has been just wonderful, i never felt i had been just forgotten about at all).
I'm down to the last few pesos but i wanted to get a little yerba mate pot to bring back as a souvenir (because you know, looking in the mirror every day wasn't enough of a reminder of this leg of the neverending story/voyage).
hopefully sleep will return also at some stage, i really miss it.
Honestly, I know exactly how you feel. Just remember that we all heal differently and this takes around 6 to 8months even a year to see the final results. I'm barely seeing it all come together and I had my ops back in May! So be patient, and take care of yourself. I know, it's frustrating to NOT see it the way you want it to right away. There were days when I was thinking God I hope I look better tomorrow. I don't "SEE" her yet.
You are so sweet exchanging info with other patients ! It helps to have someone to talk to that has been in the same place. As they say "Pay it forward".
If you need an ear to talk to I'm here for you too.
HUGS and HEALING!
KG
p.s. Say Hi to Ximena for me!
Thanks KarmaGirl for the wishes.
I have been taking photos of certain parts of my face to get an idea of what is changing. I think once I get some sleep and the blackness under my eyes go away then it will really help. And as for my jaw, I just have to be patient, I can feel the bloatedness of it when I open my mouth (and the stitches in my gums...although they are beginning to disappear now).
The funny tingly sensation through the left side of my lower lip is a learning experience, as is plucking eyebrows when you can't really fully feel the skin underneath the tweezers.
Interestingly I still haven't sneezed this whole time I have been here which is a little unfortunate as I still don't know if the pressure generated from sneezing will cause issues for me when I eventually do (i am one that tries to hold them back rather than just letting loose). I am sure when I return to my cats I will find out soon enough (one of them started limping last week but my parents took them to the vet and they were all ok after some anti inflammatories.....but that's a little off topic)
I could let Ximena know that you said hi but would they have any idea who KarmaGirl was or would they have you on their records as someone else? I need to try some of their delicious looking cakes and tortes today with my last 150 pesos. Hopefully there are no hidden costs when I get to the airport (Gosh I hope there are some scales at the airport as well to make sure I am under my limits). Their driver will take me back tomorrow to complete the circle of their quite wonderful service.