Hi
I will be having my GRS and BA at the PAI Clinic in Thailand on Aug 28th. I leave on the 24th. If anyone one is going to be there when I am, please look me up. I'll be going it alone :( I'm fairly scared, yet very excited!
Thanks :)
Wow, may you have safe travels and a smooth surgery.
Good luck and speedy recovery!
From all of I've heard of medical care in Thailand you are going to be treated like royalty!
I have been to Thailand and was spoiled everywhere I went. Also, everyone is so friendly and that is really going to help put you at ease.
Hugs,
Rhonda
Very very best Shellsters. I found PAI to be absolutely brilliant last month. If it's any help to you at all I wrote up my experiences here: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=212657.new;topicseen#new
Will be thinking of you. Keep us posted.
By the way, Warlockmaker who has been through PAI lives in Bangkok and is lovely.
Update on my surgery. I've been in Bangkok for one day now. I had my tests done today and its been determined that there will be no surgery!! Seems my heart won't take it. I am beyond words to describe how I feel. I just want to sleep and pretend it was a dream. I can't go home the same person I was. I'm so sick over this that I want to die. It's ironic that I can't have the surgery because I could die, but now that's all I want. Untill I take care of things heart wise surgery is off. The thing is, this was the only chance I had. Sure I could stay here and have them do the angiogram and then procedure if needed all for 200,000 baht!
What really gets me sick, is a year ago I complained about some issues that I thought may be heart related. My dr recommended a stress test, but my insurance wouldn't cover it saying it was not needed. Thanks UHC!!
I'll keep anyone that's interested updated. Oh wait there will be no updates. It's over, that's that!
Oh my god no :(
It's one of the nightmare scenarios. Flying all that way and then the news absolutely sucks. I am so so sorry. Is there any alternative work you could have under local or epidural to save the journey? For instance I know PAI would do an orchiectomy under epidural.
I know right now it seems very very dark but the hospital's concern about heart issues is to stop serious trouble, including fatality, in the operating theatre.
I hope you might be able to pursue UHC over this. You surely have a case?
Hold on in there honey. Massive hugs xx
Oh my! I know everything happens for a reason. At least you know part of the reason now. Hopefully you have got good advice from these doctors. Hopefully you can get out and sight see before coming heading home.
Oh, I am so sorry! That really sucks! The same thing happened to a friend of mine several years ago.
I am scheduled for surgery in a month and in the back of my mind I am worried about that.
Well at least health comes first with pai.
Better safe than sorry
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I am so, so sorry.
If the issue is specifically general anesthesia, there are surgeons (including Brassard) who do GRS with epidural. Maybe there's still hope?
Quote from: TinaVane on August 26, 2016, 12:14:20 PM
Well at least health comes first with pai.
Better safe than sorry
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It's true. Before my full day of checks I was told of people who were refused surgery in conjunction with their hospital (Piyvate). PAI did make clear to me that if I didn't pass the tests I wouldn't have the surgery. From PAI's point of view you can understand it. Supposing someone died in theatre as has happened with less rigorous clinics in Thailand?
I do think it's terribly sad that Shellster only found out after flying all that way and on the cusp of her GRS. That's what is so awful.
Shellsters are you okay? Or as okay as can be expected under these circumstances? I'm concerned :/
Hugs
xx
Quote from: Richenda on August 26, 2016, 10:19:51 PM
Shellsters are you okay? Or as okay as can be expected under these circumstances? I'm concerned :/
Hugs
xx
I would be so freaking pissed. I wonder did she get a physical and sent it off to Thailand before flying over there?
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Thank you all for your concerns and encouragement.
I'm still beyond words. I have some hope that my angiogram will come up negative, if so the surgery will go on. The only problem is I am cutting things short financially. It's going to be very tight, but if by Gods grace I can proceed I will come up with the funds somehow. It's my last hope. I do realize that if positive I will have to take care of it back home. I just don't see how I will be able to come back here. Monday was suppose to be my surgery and the start of my new life. Now it's up to a test. :'( :'(
I wish I could start to enjoy my time here, but all I want to do is sleep and cry. I am forcing myself to think positive and it is helping. It doesn't help that I have no one here to talk too, and only one person, my sister that I am messaging at home. All in all PIA has been very good to me. They are doing what's right, I put no blame on them. In fact I thank them for being so cautious. The hospital is also very good. This is the main reason I will have test done here. Plus it's my only hope.
Quote from: shellsters on August 27, 2016, 02:31:24 AM
Thank you all for your concerns and encouragement.
I'm still beyond words. I have some hope that my angiogram will come up negative, if so the surgery will go on. The only problem is I am cutting things short financially. It's going to be very tight, but if by Gods grace I can proceed I will come up with the funds somehow. It's my last hope. I do realize that if positive I will have to take care of it back home. I just don't see how I will be able to come back here. Monday was suppose to be my surgery and the start of my new life. Now it's up to a test. :'( :'(
I wish I could start to enjoy my time here, but all I want to do is sleep and cry. I am forcing myself to think positive and it is helping. It doesn't help that I have no one here to talk too, and only one person, my sister that I am messaging at home. All in all PIA has been very good to me. They are doing what's right, I put no blame on them. In fact I thank them for being so cautious. The hospital is also very good. This is the main reason I will have test done here. Plus it's my only hope.
I was so ready for your review of PAI with this surgery ... Bit puzzled why Pai did not request a physical before you headed that way to them
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Getting a physical would of helped and I tried to get in before I left. All I could do was get my lab work done. In all it wouldn't of made a difference since my dr wouldn't of ordered a stress test unless I told her I had problems. I do but nothing that feels terrible. I did and still do have heart palpitations. 4 months ago I went into the emergency room and $2000 later came out with the answer of talk to your regular dr. I never did since they went away, but there back quite strong. With what the ER told me and from my research, heart palpitations are not a big concern. Well in my case probably I guess they were.
I'm not going to second guess anything I did wrong or right. I'm just too disgusted with all that is happening now.
Fingers cross that your angiogram come back negative sis
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I hope the test goes well and I am sending positive thoughts your way.
If there is anyone here in Bangkok that would like to meet up. I'm going to go to the King Power Duty Free Srivaree at 4:30pm my time. I'm going to try and make the best out of a possible very sad situation. I'm still praying so much that test comes back negative, but it's out of my hands. I have to try and occupy my mind elsewhere. Have to watch my pennies now or should I say bahts! Just in case things continue for the positive!!
Thanks for the support I have received! It means a lot!
I was so hoping to post about how my surgery is going. I'm still hoping I can!! It was suppose to be tommorow but now I have an angiogram instead 😕
Fingers massively crossed for you Shellsters. I'm back in the UK or I'd have met up.
Hugs x
Sadly I'm back home or I'd have met you.
Hope it all goes well for you tomorrow with the the test.
I'll keep things crossed that it goes your way
Hugs
Sorcha ;D
You sound better. Glad you have a sister to message. Hope your tests come out good. best wishes
I'm sorry to hear... I hope the test goes well... We are praying for you!
Ok surgery is on!!!!! I am beyond words again, but for a good reason now. The angiogram came up negative. Absolutely nothing to worry about. Now I'm just waiting to here back from PAI to see when. It would be nice to just do it tommorow since I'm here for the night already. The dr that did my angiogram is in contact with them. I'll know something soon.
Thanks for your prayers and support.
I had never visioned my surgery experiance to go quite like it has, but at this point I don't care how it goes....just so long as it happens!!
Quote from: shellsters on August 29, 2016, 03:38:01 AM
Ok surgery is on!!!!! I am beyond words again, but for a good reason now. The angiogram came up negative. Absolutely nothing to worry about. Now I'm just waiting to here back from PAI to see when. It would be nice to just do it tommorow since I'm here for the night already. The dr that did my angiogram is in contact with them. I'll know something soon.
Thanks for your prayers and support.
I had never visioned my surgery experiance to go quite like it has, but at this point I don't care how it goes....just so long as it happens!!
That is amazing news!
Waiting for more positive updates!!!
Excellent!
I can't imagine how awful the past few days must have been and am very glad for you Shellsters.
It was heartbreaking to read your struggle. Thank heavens that challenge is overcome.
Yay! Awesome news!
Congratulations! May it all work out for you now.
Surgery is planned for Thursday!!! My one night in hospital has already prepared me for some of what to expect. If I have a similar bed, I will be in agony. The bed is as stiff as a board. I am not just complaining, it really is! The gowns are nothing too different then in US but the thing I can't understand is all the gowns and other hospital ware is all XL. I'm like drowning in them. I don't get this, especially here. There's not a single person who lives here that needs this size! Other than that the amenities are ok. I can at least watch my CNN :) I know I will go stir crazy after 5 days here, but I will have to look at the end game!
My attitude toward this trip had done a 180. I can now see the finish line. Yesterday I was disqualified for no apparent reason lol. It's also becoming more real. I have caught myself saying, what the hell are you doing!?!? Am I really 14,000 miles away in Bangkok? It just doesn't seem real at times. I know though once Thursday morning comes around. That will change. Even more so Thursday afternoon and Friday!
I will try to keep informed anyone who's interested. I know reading about others experiances greatly helped me, and still does (CarrieLiz!). Please help me pray for a great surgery and good recovery. Thank you, Shelly :)
I should have responded earlier. I assume you are at Payavate Hospital, first you can ask for a softer bed...and they have smaller sized gowns...dont be afraid to ask. You will be there for a week or more. Be comfortable.
If you need help please let me know as I live in Bangkok.
Quote from: warlockmaker on August 30, 2016, 02:24:42 AM
I should have responded earlier. I assume you are at Payavate Hospital, first you can ask for a softer bed...and they have smaller sized gowns...dont be afraid to ask. You will be there for a week or more. Be comfortable.
If you need help please let me know as I live in Bangkok.
Thank you!!
If you have time and want too. Please feel free to visit me at hospital or at hotel. I'm doing this all alone. I don't know how anyone survives here with the way they drive! It's crazy!! I kinda like it though lol my kind of driving! Pm if you want. I would love the company!
I thought I would add a face to my posts. I'm fairly private and stealth so please done repost or share. I won't have it up long. Just for the girls who'd have been giving me so much encouragement and hope. I think it's always nice to put a face to words :)
This is a really beautiful photograph which is oozing with natural femininity. You must be delighted.
I hope that your surgery went well and send my best wishes for your future happiness.
Amanda
Congratulations.....you must be so thrilled. Very best wishes for a safe and successful procedure and speedy recovery. You have many friends who will be thinking of you......
Congratulations Shellseters! All the best for a speedy recovery with the most awesome results ever!!! :D
That is great News! May everything go smoothly and as you imagined it would turn out. Keep us posted
Congrats! I hope it goes great and you have a rapid recovery.
PIA knows me well. Leave your name and details and I will visit you
Leave yoir details for the attention of Bobbie.
ITS A GO!!! I go into surgery at 2:00pm tommorow Thailand time! It hasn't sunk in quite yet, it will be soon though. I have to eat a liitle something first, it's been awhile. Then I will have plenty of sitting time 😉😉😳 to ponder much! I will try and post something as soon as possible. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers!
Quote from: shellsters on August 31, 2016, 08:35:23 AM
ITS A GO!!! I go into surgery at 2:00pm tommorow Thailand time! It hasn't sunk in quite yet, it will be soon though. I have to eat a liitle something first, it's been awhile. Then I will have plenty of sitting time 😉😉😳 to ponder much! I will try and post something as soon as possible. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers!
Yay!!!! I will be moving while you are getting your surgery :) I'm so excited for you!!! Wish my surgery is tomorrow already!
Congratulations, I am very happy for you.
Prayers have bee sent
This is fantastic news Shellsters. Sorry I haven't responded sooner (my mum's in intensive care). I'm so so pleased for you and now have fingers massively crossed it has all gone well. Huge healing vibes and for your new wonderful body.
x
Thinking of you, happy wishes for your surgery and recovery!
I made it!!! In much pain though.
People handle pain differently so don't trust the the staff to give you the correct medication. If what they are giving you isn't working, explain it to them and ask for something stronger. I didn't want anything after surgery and didn't take anything but others who had the same procedure needed morphine (what they used at the time).
Congratulations Shellsters!!!
Fantastic Shellsters. I definitely concur about the pain relief point. If you're in a lot of pain insist on having something stronger than just paracetamol and anti-inflamatory. They can prescribe anything if you ask.
Sending best healing vibes to you.
x
Congratulations.
Hoping all is well
A little update.
All seems to be going well, I've got a huge diaper on along with a catheter. The pain is minimal, but I'm also on some pain meds. The catheter is the one thing bothering me the most. I have a constant feeling of having to go to the bathroom but never the feeling of having gone!
The feeling I had when I first woke up was one of sheer thankfulness. I just couldn't believe it had really happened. I still feel amazed with what just took place? But the catheter pain and my butt pain keeps my mind occupied. I don't have much feeling down there, at times it just feels the same as before, and other times it's a feeling of something different but can't really tell what??!?
I'm not sure when I get this big diaper off, or if they change it. I do know the catheter will come out before I leave hospital. At least I have that to look forward too!
Going to try and get some more rest. I've never slept for more than 2 hours at s time 😕
Very quickly as dashing to the hospital but this is awesome news Shellsters. Will write more later but I'm so thankful for you. x
Ok right after my last post the dr stoped in to check on me. He took of my diaper to see how things where. I was freaking out a bit wondering how things would look. Well, there wasn't much to see, except a lot of packing going in somewhere lol. The one thing I did notice was that there wasn't skin graft done. It would of been just up above if done. I asked why, and he said my scrotal skin was flexible enough so no reason too. I am very happy about this since it saved me some much needed money. But I'm also concerned about width and depth. As far as I was told it should not be a problem as long as I dilate properly.
I also am allowed to get up. This is awesome since my butt is killing me!
Writing this from the train but just to say that all sounds very positive news Shellsters.
Which PAI surgeon did you have?
Glad to hear you are doing well. May you have a speedy recovery
Hello!
Well I'm able to walk around fairly well. I don't have much pain walking, but it is awkward to do. Id rather walk or stand them lay down. But I'm sure that wouldn't be good to do too much. Sitting is probably the worse, everything just gets pushed more inside.
I still feel nothing down there, at times there is a twinge which some how feels like its coming from my penis. Gawd I hope it still not there lol I've tried to like move things down there (like one would do with there penis) nothing seems to move, or at least there's not the same feeling of a penis moving. Which is probably a good thing lol
I'm probably getting more tired of the stay in hospital than I am with the pain and discomfort. I've never been one to watch much tv, just CNN and then I usually just listen. I don't play any games nor do I read much. I need to stay active, this is the hardest part about being here!
Just like any other hospital, there are some nice nurses and then there are your not so nice. All but one of mine have been fairly decent. The only downside is that none of the speak good English, ok but not good. I was finally able to have some coffee!!!! 😊, though it's not the greatest..,it did the job. I also got me some snacks out of my suitcase! Yes I almost feel like I'm at home now lol
I would love to give more detailed updates, but the truth is nothing much has happened. I just lay here in my big diaper! I get fed 3 times a day, a sponge bath, and the needed meds given.
Thought I would add a bit more.
I'm hoping dr will stop by, it feels a little wet down there, not sure if I'm bleeding more of if just feels that way. I also want to ask him if I could have nurse temporary remove diaper if I need to go poo! I feel like I will have to soon, I DO NOT want to go in my big diaper. Ya I know it's just a diaper, but I feel better calling it my big diaper lol
[emoji1419][emoji1419][emoji1419][emoji1419][emoji1419][emoji1419][emoji1419][emoji1419]
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The nurse should be able to answer your questions about the poo but it may only be a bad case of gas. The process of cleaning you out before surgery can make you very gassy and most people find it very difficult to get that first moving experience after surgery. It took a really nasty laxative for me to resume normal operation.
It all sounds pretty positive Shellsters. If you're in Piyvate I paid one of the nurses to fetch me a proper coffee from downstairs. Big hugs for your recovery x
Congratualtions. If you need anything please call my thai mobile 0940544232.
Bobbie xo
Quote from: shellsters on September 02, 2016, 03:27:18 AM
Ok right after my last post the dr stoped in to check on me. He took of my diaper to see how things where. I was freaking out a bit wondering how things would look. Well, there wasn't much to see, except a lot of packing going in somewhere lol. The one thing I did notice was that there wasn't skin graft done. It would of been just up above if done. I asked why, and he said my scrotal skin was flexible enough so no reason too. I am very happy about this since it saved me some much needed money. But I'm also concerned about width and depth. As far as I was told it should not be a problem as long as I dilate properly.
I also am allowed to get up. This is awesome since my butt is killing me!
Hoping for a speedy recovery :) and congrats!
Quote from: Richenda on September 03, 2016, 03:11:48 AM
It all sounds pretty positive Shellsters. If you're in Piyvate I paid one of the nurses to fetch me a proper coffee from downstairs. Big hugs for your recovery x
Yes! I just ordered a breakfast sandwich and coffee from the Au bon pain restaurant down stairs. Oh I'm in heaven now!!
Other than that not much else had changed. Had a little more pain down there than before. Asked for some pain meds, got something more than just Tylenol this time. The dr may take diaper off and packing out today, but I think nurse got day wrong. Im sure it's tommorow, but I do want to see if I can get diaper changed at least.
I did have a feeling or dream of phantom penis, I don't remember much about it. Only that it was not good!! I hope it doesn't happen again. I've kind of peeked a little down there, but can't see much still. Sensations have been coming back on quite frequently. It's hard to tell from where though. I cannot wait until the diaper and packing comes out. I will be forever great full!!
I do lay here and think quite often....wow you really did this. That appendage is no longer!! The only reason it hadn't set in fully is because I do not see of feel that it is. Soon grasshopper...soon!! 😀😀
Question for anyone who has had SRS.
I'm starting to have some feelings down there, it's 3 days now. The one feeling I can get quit often if wanted is the feeling of moving something that use to be my penis! I don't think this is normal, and quite frankly it's not something I like or would like to continue. Has anyone else had this feeling? I had Dr Brin from PIA do my surgery. I see him in about 2 hours so I will ask then.
Thanks
The muscles that used to move the penis are still in place, and in fact, part of those muscles surrounds the place where the vagina was placed. Eventually, when your brain figures out where everything is, you'll realize that that's now how to squeeze something with your vagina. :)
I could definitely feel that I was clamping down on the packing by about day 4, but I also had full sensation from the very beginning, so by then I knew which nerve signals were coming from the vagina.
I am not sure what you are feeling but I am post surgical 34 years and I can still feel the glans and what it used to feel like during an erection. Without that feeling you don't have a sensitive clitoris as the glans was just relocated. Once your mind get used to the fact that there really isn't anything there any more to worry about, you won't know it's even there except in times of sexual excitement.
In addition, soon you will start feeling itching on body parts that are no longer there. It's just the nerves reconnecting and waking up but it can last a couple of years.
Dr Burin does beautiful work....You are going to feel alot of new sensations. Like Dena says it takes time for all the nerves to reconnect.
Some of that strange feeling is from the labia majora and when swollen it places pressure on the clitoris. They look like camel toes for a few months after surgery lol
Thank you, thank you all who posted.
I have some very exciting news. I got to see my new vagina for the first time. I was quit nervous. The dr needed to change the dressing so after taking off old he asked if I wanted to see! Well yes!!!! I was prepared for the worse, but in fact it was much better than what I though it would be. My vulva is quite swollen yet and I was concerned. The dr told me it will go down considerably. With my major, minor labia and vagina I wasn't as concerned. I will admit I cried after the dr and nurse left. It is real now!!!
He also told me much of what I'm feeling is phantom sensations. I'm definetely feeling more as the hours and days go by. This is a good thing!! Tommorow I get packing out, yikes!! Then next day catheter and discharged from hospital. Yay!!!
Ya know, another thing!
I can't believe I am actually posting about my srs. I had been a member on here for a couple of years, then faded away while I just lived my life. Always knowing that SRS would probably never happen. I think that's why I stoped coming on here.
I am in shock now that I am one the members that is posting about their SRS. It can and will happen to anyone who is determined. It is costing me some money I may need in future, but I need to live my life now!!
Those are such positive posts to wake up to this morning Shellsters. I love that last one. I'm so pleased for you and can't wait to join the full SRS world :)
You had Dr Burin rather than Dr Sutin then?
Sending massive congratulations again: I'm so so pleased for you.
xx
Quote from: shellsters on September 04, 2016, 02:12:34 AM
Thank you, thank you all who posted.
I have some very exciting news. I got to see my new vagina for the first time. I was quit nervous. The dr needed to change the dressing so after taking off old he asked if I wanted to see! Well yes!!!! I was prepared for the worse, but in fact it was much better than what I though it would be. My vulva is quite swollen yet and I was concerned. The dr told me it will go down considerably. With my major, minor labia and vagina I wasn't as concerned. I will admit I cried after the dr and nurse left. It is real now!!!
He also told me much of what I'm feeling is phantom sensations. I'm definetely feeling more as the hours and days go by. This is a good thing!! Tommorow I get packing out, yikes!! Then next day catheter and discharged from hospital. Yay!!!
I'm dreading that part from the videos I seen of the undressing on utube from an Australian girl. It was yyyyuuuuuggggeeeee and very Frankenstein looking like [emoji17][emoji17][emoji17][emoji17]
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Tina, I too was very scared to see it. Many images I've seen elsewhere ran through my head. My expectations were not high. Maybe this helped, because when I fiialy seen my new vagina, I was elated!! It looked almost as I predicted!! It may have even looked better. Was it deformed and swollen? Yes! Did it look all small and dainty? No! And it will be sometime befor it will. But I have a vigina now!!!! It's mine! It's not done fake thing! And it works! Well not sure yet!
So I tell you this, please don't give yourself too high of expectations. There is no surgeon that can give you good asthetic results from day one. If you do find one that says they can, stay away from them.
Quote from: shellsters on September 04, 2016, 02:19:53 AM
Ya know, another thing!
I can't believe I am actually posting about my srs. I had been a member on here for a couple of years, then faded away while I just lived my life. Always knowing that SRS would probably never happen. I think that's why I stoped coming on here.
I am in shock now that I am one the members that is posting about their SRS. It can and will happen to anyone who is determined. It is costing me some money I may need in future, but I need to live my life now!!
Yes, I also drifted away (probably from Susan's but it's been too many years) the reason was as you said, deciding I couldn't get to transition, just spending time talking about being trans became more painful than helpful.
Another big day!! Dr Burin was due to come here at around 2 to remove packing. I was told by Jesse, who happened to stop by to say hi and let me know also that the Dr was running late. The young men that do much of the administration at PAI are so sweet! Ok, the Dr shows up at about 4 he was quick to have the nurse pull across the curtain, then on with the gloves. I asked is the packing comeing out now, he nodded yes and then said also the catheter!! I was soooo pleased to hear that.
The packing took about 30 minutes to remove (no just kidding) but literally it took about a good half minute. It was like one of those magician tricks of pulling an endless scarf out of a hat. The last bit of it felt weird but not painful. Then he quickly popped out the catheter. That had a little pain but happened so quickly that it wasn't s bother.
He asked if I had to go potty, I did!! And fairly bad also. I sat there for about 4 minutes and nothing happened. He said that's ok just try again later. I tried again about 5 minutes later, after about a minute, I was tinkling a little....then a little more. Eventually it was somewhat more but not a huge amount at once. It took about 2 minutes to empty my bladder, but it was also very full. I'm very happy that I can go freely and wont have to have that dang catheter no more. Now for #2 to happen! 😀😀
About 5 minutes later 2 nurses came in to show me how to keep the area clean and disinfected! That was a bit awkward since these nurses were ones that did not speak the best English. It went ok though and we had some good laughs at some misunderstandings! Lol
Ok I have to go pee again!!! Hopefully all goes well again 😳
Wow!! Congratulations :-)
Your mention of "phantom dick" is a bit daunting, looking forward to hearing how sensory realignment proceeds.
Ok I've been back at hotel since yesterday. Things have been going fairly well. The only problem I'm having is controlling (holding) my pee, but I already had this pre surgery. Once I feel the need I better get there quick, just like before. Difference now is that even though I have to rush to get to toilet, I sit for about 30 secs before going ugh!! I also need to go quite frequently. I've gone 3 times while writing this!! My bowell movements have been very good, that was also the case before. Difference is, (tmi) clean up is so much less. Not sure why lol.
I am still quite swollen. Mostly the pubis mound. But what surprises me more is that my thighs are also, and very bruised. I actualy have some hips lol. Sitting is difficult, once seated I need to stay that way. It is frustrating that I can't cross my legs. I have always crossed my legs when sitting, even pre transition. It's the only comfortable way for me to sit. In fact I have a hard time eating and digesting food if my legs arnt crossed. Weird, I know!!
I will go to clinic tommorow to get checked and learn to dilate. Yikes. I havnt explored my anatomy too much, I'm afraid I may break something lol. I am able to see things well if I bend over backwards to mirror. My vagina seems very big, looks as if I could fit the largest dilater in now. Not sure why, it could be because I am bending over when viewing.
I'm not feeling any phantom penis feelings anymore. Thank goodness! I do have some strong twinges at times and some nice feelings too. Mostly though I am quit numb down there. Pain has been acceptable. I have only been on 500mg of Tylenol since day one. And only 2-3 a day. The pressure and swolleness is more uncomfortable than painful.
My surgery was postponed a few days due to extra testing. I was scheduled to leave on the 12th. Now it's the 15th. It still may be the 12th. I will find out tommorow. I'm fine with that if Dr is, but I'm in no rush to leave if he feels otherwise it's also my decision to leave on original date if he okay's it.
As for feeling different now that ITS gone. Not too much, but then again I am swollen and numb. I do look down in astonishment to try and imagine where it was lol. The smoothness is no different, Its actualy more bulging because of the swolleness and pad. Before surgery I was tucked 24/7 even at night. I had very little (hence the grafts) and my testes were ascended into the hip cavity. The yoga pants and leggings I brought look bad now! I have this huge mound!! Before surgery I was sometimes worried that the little I had would show when wearing leggings or yoga pants. Now I'm huge! But it has gone down already after just one day.
Walking makes things much worse, things will swell all over again. Laying in bed is the best, but it's not me!! Don't get me wrong, I love my naps! But I have a hard time doing just nothing!
Tommorow will be another big step in my journey. I will for the first time have something inserted into my vagina. A vagina I didn't have 3 days ago!😳 Someday I will have something else inserted into it for pleasure. Then I will finally have normal sex for the first time in my life. 😀
Thanks for listening 😉😉
The pee part. I was so swollen after surgery that it took almost a week before I could pee without a drainage tube. The swelling you have may prevent you from fully emptying you bladder and make it difficult to get the flow going. Depending on how fast the swelling goes down, you may be a month or two before things are all the way back to normal.
Quote from: Dena on September 06, 2016, 10:58:22 PM
The pee part. I was so swollen after surgery that it took almost a week before I could pee without a drainage tube. The swelling you have may prevent you from fully emptying you bladder and make it difficult to get the flow going. Depending on how fast the swelling goes down, you may be a month or two before things are all the way back to normal.
Thanks! That was kinda my thinking too 😊 Things have already improved in just the short time already. I'm also learning how to push a little too!!
Oh my at a drainage tube [emoji17][emoji17][emoji17][emoji17][emoji17]
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No, I don't have drainage tube. Catheter was removed within 5 days. I'm peeing, just hard to control when and how much.
I'm not feeling the best today. Plus I walked too much. Wasn't planning on it but needed something to eat my blood sugar must of been too low. I can't eat much of the Thia food 😕😕. I'm allergic to too many foods here. Why I really had to walk was for a place to buy undies (panties, hate that word,lol) I'm out of clean ones and big enough ones lol. I'm not going to pay 30baht a pair to wash. I get 3 things free so may have to use that up one day. Feeling a little better, but I think I'll rest the rest of the night 😕
I think I'm going to pay for all this walking tommorow or tonight. I told myself I wouldn't do this!!
Quote from: TinaVane on September 07, 2016, 04:12:01 AM
Oh my at a drainage tube [emoji17][emoji17][emoji17][emoji17][emoji17]
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What happened was 4 times a day they would have me attempt to go. As I couldn't, they would have a kit with a tube and a collecting tray. They would run the tube into the bladder, drain off all the fluid and then remove it. NOT FUN. The day I first went without assistance, I thought I was done with it but no, they drained me one more time to make sure I had an empty bladder.
Ok dilation has started! Not what I had expected at all!! Its kind of freaky actualy. I can't believe that whole thing goes in me😳 It feels fairly blah! I have no problems at all putting in the dilator and I've got a full six inches! My vagina opening is fairly big right now, I'm surprised at that but it does make dilating easier.
Ok....I found out with only my second dilation that it doesn't have to feel blah if I don't want it too. Before surgery I had to change the way I could orgasam, mostly it involves breathing. Well I tried this while I had this blah thing inside me. In about 10 seconds I realized my plumbing works very well. I didn't orgasam, I stoped the process right away. I was too freaked out. But after my dilation I had a big smile thinking about what's to come 😀😀
I'm still quite swollen and have a difficult time sitting. It has been only 8 days since surgery so I guess I can't complain. I do wish I could wear more than just skirts and dresses, I miss my leggings, but my mound is still too swollen.
I'm feeling fairly well now. The other day I wasn't feeling good medically and mentally. I have no hormones in me, I think that is causing some of the emotional issues. Thus causing some of the medical fatigue issues. The dr has told me I can start my estrogen again. I havnt yet but will in the next few hours.
Great news about dilating, I still feel blah with dilating. Also, you are so right about lack of hormones making you edgy and once you get back on them it will be great.
Just please dont over do the exercise while you are dilating for the first few weeks. If you tear the stitches at the entry it will be miserable and achy pain for weeks.
Just in case anyone really cares how things are going. Everything is fine. It's not great but I'm not one to complain much. Everything is fairly how I projected. Nothing like I imagined, cause that is impossible. Much of how I expected things to go came from others on this site. I really hope I have helped anyone else out. It doesn't really seem like it, so I probably won't make any more posts. Thanks to the few of you who have supported me and helped.
Actually.. I have followed everything you have posted with great interest ( I have my turn next month ) and I have kept you and the other woman currently going through this in my prayers... Reading your experience has been a huge help as I have no real local support network.. I have learned a lot from your ( and others ) experiences both the good and the bad..
I do a lot of lurking but rarely post because for the most part I have no social skills.. and I am willing to bet I am the rule more than the exception.. ( I have been on face book almost since the beginning and I have never made 1 post.. but I do follow a lot of people.. )
bottom line is I thank you and appreciate that you have shared this part of your life with us.. And I hope you continue to due so..
Stephanie
I too have appreciated the posts and have prayed for you as well. May you have a healthy recovery
Deanna
Quote from: shellsters on September 10, 2016, 10:59:16 PM
Just in case anyone really cares how things are going. Everything is fine. It's not great but I'm not one to complain much. Everything is fairly how I projected. Nothing like I imagined, cause that is impossible. Much of how I expected things to go came from others on this site. I really hope I have helped anyone else out. It doesn't really seem like it, so I probably won't make any more posts. Thanks to the few of you who have supported me and helped.
I've been reading your post too... I actually like it better than I won't say a name but yea..... Please keep us updated!
I read every post and find what you write extremely helpful. I am having GCS in November and you are helping me with every post. Please continue posting. I am sending good thought your way for a speedy recovery.
Love your posts. Just remember all of us will get post op depression, some more than others. Your posts are one of the most read ones on the forum and its been interesting to read your progress.
Quote from: warlockmaker on September 11, 2016, 09:09:09 PM
Love your posts. Just remember all of us will get post op depression, some more than others. Your posts are one of the most read ones on the forum and its been interesting to read your progress.
Why do we get post op depression? I'm having my surgery in a month time, I don't wanna be depressed after!
sounds like the hormone cycling. That gets credit for the fun.
I went into surgery with an upbeat vibe and was like that for the most part in the hospital. I had been off of estrogen and spiro for 2 weeks prior to surgery. Estrogen was started the day after or so. After I got out of the hospital my attitude dropped a bit. I'm not really depressed but I miss being upbeat.
Anyhow, it has only been a few days since surgery. I am hoping it goes away as my energy comes back.
I was warned by my therapist that around 3 weeks to 3 months after surgery that i had a high chance of post op depression. I had 2 good friends who had surgery at the same time and both had fepressions when they went home. I had a mild one but they had it more. We all got over it in a couple of weeks.
Post op depression has many causes but I understand that GA had alot to do with it. GA somehow affects the brain chemicals ....some Dr refer to it as the 'doom and gloom' feeling.
The lack of HRT pre and post op causes some minor discomfort in sleeping, aches and being short tempered. That goes quickly once you start HRT again. Its not the sames as the post op depression.
If you have a therapist they normally cover your mental health and explain these to you.
Quote from: warlockmaker on September 12, 2016, 09:06:34 PM
I was warned by my therapist that around 3 weeks to 3 months after surgery that i had a high chance of post op depression. I had 2 good friends who had surgery at the same time and both had fepressions when they went home. I had a mild one but they had it more. We all got over it in a couple of weeks.
Post op depression has many causes but I understand that GA had alot to do with it. GA somehow affects the brain chemicals ....some Dr refer to it as the 'doom and gloom' feeling.
The lack of HRT pre and post op causes some minor discomfort in sleeping, aches and being short tempered. That goes quickly once you start HRT again. Its not the sames as the post op depression.
If you have a therapist they normally cover your mental health and explain these to you.
I'm gonna do it with epidural... I believe dr brassards recommends it
Thank you all so much for your concern and responses!
I will continue with some updates. Much of my reluctance to post any further updates was due to lack of interest. It did seem that since I hadn't had too much drama or problems with my trip or surgery, most didn't care. But I won't deny some PO depression. Manly from lack of any hormones in my body.
Ok, now the update 😀
I do have to admit all hasn't been good, but I'm not one to complain much, or I should say worry too much. I did push things too much after surgery. I probably walked more after then before. This is not a good thing to do, you need to stay rested. I ended up having more swelling because of this. At one point my pubis mound was starting to go down a bit, but after any type sitting or waking too much it started to swell. It is best to just lay in bed on the donut as much as you can.
Now I am home but in almost worse shape. Some of this I could of prevented, but most wasn't preventable. I should have used the dr letter at airports, I could of then used wheelchair. I ended up doing way too much walking. Things I couldn't prevent were the constant sitting for the long airplane ride. This just added to the swelling. Thank goodness I did at least have the donut!
In my circumstances the swelling not only causes much discomfort, but it is limiting my ability to urinate. When I first got on the plane for the long part of the trip I was in the bathroom for about 15 minutes and still unable to pee. I was really starting to worry and it was causing even more discomfort. I eventually used some breathing techniques to get a small amount out. I continued to go to the bathroom as much as needed. I eventually was able to release most out of badder, little by little!😕
This same thing started to happen again once I made it to my destination airport. I was forced to walk and stsnd in lines so much that when I was able to use a bathroom, it took a couple times again to release most of urine.
Urinating has probably given me the most complications. I was worried pre surgery that afterwards, the surgery may limit my ability to hold my even more than I already had. Accidents were quite common pre op. I now was worried it was going to be worse. I can so far that is not the problem, the problem is not being able to go ugh!! Like I said before, I think much of this is caused from the swelling, and that can be prevented by not walking as much. Peeing in itself is another thing I've had to get use too. It is very much different. When I am so swelled up from inflammation and my bladder, I want to just reach in somewhere and release it. I had a few moments of thinking ohbifvi just had something to funnel this out....like a penis lol I surly don't miss that part but at times like that I started too s bit.
The plane ride and all the walking has also caused my feet to swell. I have never had this happen to me before ever!! I am somewhat concerned, but will wait and see. The surgical site itself....vagina and vulva seem to be healing acceptable. I do have one area that had some narcoses, but new skin is coming in. It does cause some pain as well. I am ensuring that I use my batadine solution after every dilation. I also put on a dry powder version. The Dr said this was just as important, if not more. The powder will work on the moist areas better. I have had more pain today then probably ever. But I also had only 3 hours sleep in the last 3 days. I did take some aleve, this has seemed to help some. For the entire surgery proccess I was only on Tylenol except for the first 2 days after surgery. The pains can be quit sharp at times. But nothing unmanageable. The swelling seems to be harder to manage.
At times nothing feels different down there, other times it does. And then many times it feels like everything was just pushed in under my pubis mound! This happens when j am more swelled.
All in all things have been ok. I do worry somewhat about po depression. Right now I'm in ok spirits, as well as one could be after such s long trip back and very little sleep.
I will try and continue with some more updates soon 😀😀
Ggg
Hi, Shellsters!
Thanks for the update. I've been reading along, as I'm sure a great many others have. (2 guests right now, 2,233 times read!) I'm still years out from SRS, not even full time yet. I do strongly suspect SRS is in my future, though, and have been reading all of the experiences of others. This is the best source of real-world information I have on the actual experience from multiple doctors. (The post-SRS ladies in my support group all had their work done in Arizona. The wonders of insurance at work. He's the only one in-plan. :) )
Thanks, again!
As you can see, I was started to dose off when I posted my last rely. Sorry for all the errors I did mange to fall asleep an hour, untill I had to pee lol.
I miss the warmth of Bangkok! 😕😕I'm freezing now....again. Nothing new though.
I didn't mention dilation last time. Nothing much new with this. It's still very strange lol I'm really not liking being penetrated! Geez I hope that changes lol. Much of this is due to all the swelling near there. The penetration isn't bad, just feels weird and some discomfort. The dilater goes in easy, yet a strange feeling. I always think it isn't in far enough, even though I can feel the liitle discomfort needed to know it's in to the end. Then when I pull it out....whew another wierd feeling. Nothing bad though, and I then realize I had it in even farther than planned, 6.5 inches!! I know this because I bought the acrylic ones from PAI. They have the inch markers on them.
Ok as much as I don't want to go out? I need to get more betadine solution, and.....condoms!!! I never bought those ever before 😳😕😫 lol
Thank you for continuing posting. I have GCS scheduled 11/15 and your experiences are very valuable to me.
Regarding dilation.... you bought the PAI quality acrylic ones. You do not need to use a condom on them, just lube it and after use use soap and water. All the post srs ladies in my group dont use the condom. hugs
Quote from: warlockmaker on September 13, 2016, 10:47:58 PM
Regarding dilation.... you bought the PAI quality acrylic ones. You do not need to use a condom on them, just lube it and after use use soap and water. All the post srs ladies in my group dont use the condom. hugs
Thank you! But it's too late I bought a box, really wierd feeling buying them! As I went to open it I did remember reading something similar. Well I'm stuck with them now 😕 I probably won't use them. I'd rather not, and just make sure the dilater is sanitized good. Thanks though!!
Quote from: Rachel Lynn on September 13, 2016, 08:05:49 PM
Thank you for continuing posting. I have GCS scheduled 11/15 and your experiences are very valuable to me.
Your welcome!! I also followed other girls adventures lol much of what they had to say helped me tremendously . But everyone is different. You will find out that some of the thoughts and or feelings you have, no one has mentioned before. I'm sure though if you researched enough somone did. It's major surgery and a big change in ones life. It's similar to having a child. Your scared and happy the same time. Then as you get use to things, you realize you got it! Nothing to worry about. 😀
Ok just a little update.
Just in the one day I've been back much has changed. Earlier this morning it wasn't quite as apparent. Now after dilating I took a look at things down there. Much is still swollen, but only about half as much. It's really starting to look normal already. The bruising and swelling around my thighs and waist is considerably less if not gone. This was one thing I was not prepared for, I was shocked to see how far the bruising and swelling went. I actualy had hips for awhile lol. it's not anything that causes pain, it just looks bad and I am unable to wear any type jeans and some leggings.
Peeing is going much better now that my mound swelling has gone down. It's still something to get use too. I have sat for many years, that's no problem. My former bits worked efficiently to release urine. I can't say the same now. I do miss the more efficient way at times. I don't miss the equipment just how it worked lol the relief is also not quite the same, but that could be because I am still swollen. I do hope that improves.
Even though the swelling as gone down I'm still not able to wear jeans or leggings. Leggings and yoga pants I could, but my mound still shows considerably. I'm very embarrassed over that. It will go down though. The Dr mentioned something funny about this when I asked if it will go down quite a bit. He insured mr it would, but also mentioned that many of the European Girls like it big like mine was. Hmmm strange!!
Quote from: shellsters on September 14, 2016, 01:20:14 AM
Ok just a little update.
Just in the one day I've been back much has changed. Earlier this morning it wasn't quite as apparent. Now after dilating I took a look at things down there. Much is still swollen, but only about half as much. It's really starting to look normal already. The bruising and swelling around my thighs and waist is considerably less if not gone. This was one thing I was not prepared for, I was shocked to see how far the bruising and swelling went. I actualy had hips for awhile lol. it's not anything that causes pain, it just looks bad and I am unable to wear any type jeans and some leggings.
Peeing is going much better now that my mound swelling has gone down. It's still something to get use too. I have sat for many years, that's no problem. My former bits worked efficiently to release urine. I can't say the same now. I do miss the more efficient way at times. I don't miss the equipment just how it worked lol the relief is also not quite the same, but that could be because I am still swollen. I do hope that improves.
Even though the swelling as gone down I'm still not able to wear jeans or leggings. Leggings and yoga pants I could, but my mound still shows considerably. I'm very embarrassed over that. It will go down though. The Dr mentioned something funny about this when I asked if it will go down quite a bit. He insured mr it would, but also mentioned that many of the European Girls like it big like mine was. Hmmm strange!!
sounds like everything is healing well
Quote from: jujubes1986 on September 11, 2016, 08:20:11 AM
I've been reading your post too... I actually like it better than I won't say a name but yea..... Please keep us updated!
Sssshhhaaaddddeeee
Lol and I agree with you
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Hi Shellsters,
I've been so interested to follow your progress. Like many others, I'm still following you and how it goes! I know that my orchiectomy is different, but what Warlockmaker posted is spot on. Force yourself now to rest as much as you can and it will pay dividends later. I went south a week after my op and had a totally inert holiday. As a result of that I'm now running 5 milers every day. So forcing yourself to rest is a good plan if you can x
Well all ok so far.....untill this morning! I've been having some very sharp pains in my clitoral, labia area, I think. It's hard to tell exactly where. I've had a few before, but they've never stayed so constant. I usually get a few similar pains before I need to go pee or a bowell movement. I've taken some aleeve already, but hasn't set in. I'm sure hoping they stop soon! I'm suppose to dilate soon, that's the last thing I want to do!!
I hope the pain soon subsides Shellsters. I'm sure some pain is to be expected?
Can you remind me as I missed it: which of the PAI surgeons performed your surgery?
X
Quote from: TinaVane on September 14, 2016, 11:30:27 PM
Sssshhhaaaddddeeee
Lol and I agree with you
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I'm serving shade realness? LOL
Well dang it! Things seemed to be going smooth. I've been in bed most of the day. I've laid there naked in hopes the air will help with what I found. It seems there's some infection going on 😕 Or maybe not. It's white in color and appears to look like a small patch of mushrooms?!?! Hard to describe. It's right above the vaginal area. Since airing out things, the pains have subsided much, but still there. I havnt dilated yet, I may soon now, since I'm not having as much pain. I'm not sure why this happened or what has caused it. I also have some stiches that appear now. They didn't before, but I never looked this close before. I'll tell ya! It's not easy to take a pic a of something you can't see!!
I'm really hoping this is just some sort of healing going on. With the pain I'm having though, I'm not thinking so. I'm sending in a pic to PAI. I won't get an answer anytime soon though since no one is there for at least 7 hours. I'm not going in to a dr here! I will if need be, but that will be last resort!
If anyone has any answers please let me know 😀😕
I am so glad & thrilled her surgery has went so freaking well. I mean that beautiful..... Sending you hearts ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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Its time to get a hand held mirror and use a Q tip dipped in bedadine solotion. Spread the inner labia gently and you will exppse a white and strong smelling gunk. Gently and using the Q tip scrape off all the white gunk. Repeat this evertime you dilate. The buildup of this white stuff creates a bad odor and makes the clitoris and possibly the pee hole uncomfortable .
After a few days it will disappear. I know after surgery we are reluctant to be too aggresive with touching the new vagina area but wash the area also in the shower, you should use a feminine wash for that area.
Hopes this helps.
Quote from: warlockmaker on September 15, 2016, 09:52:31 PM
Its time to get a hand held mirror and use a Q tip dipped in bedadine solotion. Spread the inner labia gently and you will exppse a white and strong smelling gunk. Gently and using the Q tip scrape off all the white gunk. Repeat this evertime you dilate. The buildup of this white stuff creates a bad odor and makes the clitoris and possibly the pee hole uncomfortable .
After a few days it will disappear. I know after surgery we are reluctant to be too aggresive with touching the new vagina area but wash the area also in the shower, you should use a feminine wash for that area.
Hopes this helps.
[/quote ]
Thank you!! 😀😀 I will be doing this tommorow, though a bit scared too 😳
I am really fortunate. I had a private nurse after I left the hospital, she was formerly the head ward nurse for srs, she took care of this cheesy gunk. My 2 friends also had this issue and she also gave them the treatment. Like you they had never opened the inner labia because they were afraid. I was also.
Go for it, it relieves the discomfort and the bad odor.
Things seem to be going backwards. I may have to go in to dr to find out what's going on. I'm doing everything I'm suppose too, and more. I'm unable to sleep, I have constant pressure/pain. I've never felt this bad, not even after day one. PAI emailed me back, but only stated the protocol I'm already doing. I emailed them back right away,it was 3:00AM and I Was already up. They never got back to me. I just don't understand. I've been able to be off my feet more than any other time since surgery. I'm still not getting sleep needed but that's not by choice. Last night I too a strong sleeping pill, I was out for the first 1 1/2 hours than up most of the night. I've never felt this bad in my life. I'm getting very depressed over all this.
I am guessing but it might be nerves waking up/reconnecting. Are you using any type of pain killer. I would suggest something like ibuprofen shortly before you go to bed and that would help with any swelling as well as the pain. Pain will diminish over time but nerve reconnection can take place over a couple of years.
I keep getting periodic jolts down there. It feels like somebody is playing with switches they shouldn't have access to. Thankfully mine aren't constant. I wish I could advise something other than painkiller and call the doctor until they answer.
Remember how awful it was when for a short time you didn't think you would be able to get this procedure. This too will pass. Look at a swimsuit catalog to cheer you up. That or legging wearing outfits. Something you might not have worn before.
Good luck girlfriend!
Quote from: CrysC on September 16, 2016, 05:36:37 PM
I keep getting periodic jolts down there. It feels like somebody is playing with switches they shouldn't have access to. Thankfully mine aren't constant. I wish I could advise something other than painkiller and call the doctor until they answer.
Remember how awful it was when for a short time you didn't think you would be able to get this procedure. This too will pass. Look at a swimsuit catalog to cheer you up. That or legging wearing outfits. Something you might not have worn before.
Good luck girlfriend!
Yes some of it is the nerves reconnecting. But I don't know what's causing all the discharge and swelling. It seems worse after I clean with the betadine solution. I'm going to just clean with water this time after dilating. I'm hoping I able to dilate. It wasn't the easiest this morning. I'm upping my pain pills for tonight's sleep. Hopefully I can get more than 2 hours.
As far as thinking of swim suits or leggings huh that's not a good thing! It puts me in a worse mood. Leggings and skinny jeans were my staples. I can't dare wear a pair now!! My mound is so huge still. I havnt wore a single pair of jeans since surgery. I don't know what I'm going to wear when I return to work?!? It's the type place where jeans are something more appropriate, skirts are ok but not practible. I had it easier to dress pre surgery!
Hi. Im just going to give some suggestions and my experience and those of my friends. My friends had their srs done by different surgeons. Each of us are different in the first 3 months after srs.
Most of us have a 24/7 low pain when we first dilate. Its the micro tearing of the skin of the new vagina. Depending on your pain tolerence you may need medication, for me panadol sufficed. I could not sleep well with this throbbing pain and it was depressing me so I also called Cindy of Susans place and she explained the above to me. But she said it would go away after 3 weeks of misery. She was right.
Now be more careful of the post op depression. I never had it full on but many get it to some degree. This can happen 3 months after.
Check your temperature and feel if the surgical areas is inflamed. It's not common but it is possible that you have an infection that needs a visit to a doctor. If there is a problem, see a doctor as soon as possible as it can get worst fast.
Thanks girls. That's why I come here 😀 I dilated tonight, dilating itself is about the same, a little harder to start with the swelling going on. I still able to go 6" and usually once I pull it out its closer to 6 1/2. It's usually after dilating is when I have more swelling and pain/pressure. Ive rinsed with only warm water after dilating see if this helps. The pain pills seem to be setting in better, I'll see if the sleeping pill does too. Wish me luck sleeping tonight 😀
Well it seems that upping the pain mesds has a helped a bit. I managed to get almost 5 hours sleep, 2 at first then 3 later lol. I'm still more swollen than i would like. Though I have improved a bit. I think I was running on addrenilen before. I wasn't even this sore after having to walk 3 airports and being on a plane for 12 hours. Even when I returned it was just one aleeve a day.
Things do get more swollen and sore after dilating. Im not too worried about this though, I realize this should be normal. I do think about what I have just done, sometimes I feel like I'm going to wake up and it was all a dream lol. Peeing is going better, still takes awhile to start , even if I have to go bad. I'm at least get more of a feeling of relief and emptying my bladder. It does feel at times like its coming from where my bits were, but then I look and I quickly realize it's not and my brain corrects itself.
I just wish my pubis mound would go down. I feel less female now then even before. It also appears that way! I had no problems hiding the bits I use to have in anything I wore. Now I have this huge mound. I am wearing some yoga pants today, but not sure I'll go out with them on. Geez, I never had that feeling before! I know things will become better in time though. I haven't dared tried on a pair of jeans yet! Even some skirts it shows.
I would like to ask the other girls who are postop. How long did it take for your pubis mound to go down and not be so hard like?
I think things will only get better from here. Oh I did nearly orgasim! This is the second time it's happened. The first I stopped cause it just felt wrong to do it that early. I stoped this time also but I wasn't really trying in the first place. I was just rubbing my my mound for comfort and then wow!! I kept going a bit and did somewhat orgasim but tried to stop the feeling as soon as I could. It just felt weird having and orgasim the same time as having this hard thing in me lol
So glad you r back home recovering sweets
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Just a quick update.
I was fairly stressed and getting a little depressed wondering if my vulva is anatomaly correct. I'me feeling a little better after emailing PAI, though still not quite sure if things will look proper. Time will only tell.
I'm still dilating, though missed a day cause I wasn't caring much at the time if the damn thing just closed up. I was not in a good place!
Things are back on schedule. Healing is going good, labia's look almost normal. I'm sure they will even get better. It seems that I have 1 good day then 1 bad day. Today and last night was not good. It's like having a bad toothache in your crotch! I'm not sure why I still get nights like this. I'm thinking it may be because I'm partially blocked up. I'm not all the way, I can manage a small bowell movement here and there. This alone is frustrating since I'm very regular. I haven't been since the operation, it will be nice to get back on schedule lol.
My pubis mound has become much softer and less swollen. This is good! I'm now able to wear my leggings and yoga pants yay!!! Though soon I will return to work and I'll have to don my jeans again. I have tried on a few pairs, whew!! They still fit. I thought I was still too swollen or worse yet gained some weight.
My sits baths have become almost a necessity. It helps with dilation as well. I still look in wonder at times at the scar on my mound and realize what use to be there. It's almost like I never had one of those to begin with. I don't even regret that I never got to use it for almost the last 11 years. I'm really looking forward to using what I should of had for so many years. Right at this moment though, this is the last thing I want. Even though I do have some very nice sensations, inserting something in there for pleasure is the farthest thing from my mind 😳
I still get many sharp pains and other pains that are hard to pinpoint or explain what they are. Like right now I am having a very sharp pain on the inside of my upper thigh of one leg. This is something new, I'm not too worried about it yet. Hopefully won't last long.
Other than this things have been ok. Urination can be a chore at times. Sometimes I have to rub my legs or message my mound a little to coax it out lol. At least I'm past the point of sometimes getting to the point of missing the other method of releasing urine 😳 I do get a bit more satisfaction from urinating now also, but I also don't think I'm emptying my bladder all the way at times.
That's it so far 😀
Hi,
So it has been about 4 weeks since your operation and you are about to go back to work. That sounds like you had an awesome recovery from the proceedure. Thanks for the continued updates.
I just finish reading all the posts. Sounds like a roller coaster ride. I pray that things are better and you are way happier in your life choice.....hugs to you.
Quote from: Rachel Lynn on September 21, 2016, 06:50:54 PM
Hi,
So it has been about 4 weeks since your operation and you are about to go back to work. That sounds like you had an awesome recovery from the proceedure. Thanks for the continued updates.
Not by choice, but need the money! Fortunately I can stand most of the day if need be. That's good cause sitting is not the best still!
Quote from: RobinG78 on September 21, 2016, 08:14:43 PM
I just finish reading all the posts. Sounds like a roller coaster ride. I pray that things are better and you are way happier in your life choice.....hugs to you.
Life really wont change too much, besides the ability to have casual sex. Which I may explore! I did and still do fear that I may get more depressed, since nothing really will change. No one knows what's in between my legs! I am fairly stealth, people that know are the ones that need to know. Right now I just wish I was healed enough to do more things. I had a bad night last night, it may have been because I took my dog for a walk.
It's really strange at times, cause if it wasn't for the pain I would hardly notice a difference in my life. Yes there's the obvious one, but even that was easy to ignore and forget. I did that fairly well for years. Only in the couple months before surgery did I start to despise it more. I feel the same now though, it's strange! I think one reason may have been because I was very small, my testes migrated up into the pubic cavity, and I was always tucked. At times I will masssge my mound to help alleviate the pain, it feels almost the same as before. The only difference is it's minus 2 little things moving inside lol
You have been through a lot, I wish I was at the point your at. I'm at the beginning of my journey. You are my inspiration, and those who also at the point of going through GRS....
Thank you! I can hardly believe I'm at the end, or more so that I made it to the end! It's been a long strange trip, lost freinds, some family, but I finaly found out how to love myself.
Quote from: shellsters on September 21, 2016, 09:20:06 PM
Thank you! I can hardly believe I'm at the end, or more so that I made it to the end! It's been a long strange trip, lost freinds, some family, but I finaly found out how to love myself.
That's not how it works. You are at the end of one journey and about to start another, the rest of your life. You are leaving the past in the past and now can move forward without anything holding you back. You may not see it now, but in a few years you will be able to look back and see how much your life has changed.
Ok, it's been 26 days since surgery. Sometimes I think I'm doing so well in that short of time, other times not so. My nights are the worse still. Last night I went to bed feeling good, probably the best I have yet. I still took my pain meds though. Well 3 hours later up with pain, waited awhile than took more meds, then up again 3 hours later. The meds should last at least 6 hours, 3 is the best I get. I've been doing sitz baths twice a day, sometimes skip the night one. They have helped tremendously! I've started to do my morning dilation while taking my morning one 😀
Everything is starting to look normal, labias are still quite numb along with the rest of the vulva...to a degree. It's still about the same to dilate, not painful until towards the end of it. I still have many stiches, more of them out. Sensation is still there but not as strong. This brings up another thing. My sex drive has now started to increase but my sensations are not as strong as about a week ago. Then they were quite strong and I could orgasim just by rubbing near my clitoral area, but it felt wrong and I really didn't want to do it. Now I kind of want to but the sensation isnt as strong. I could of I tried more, but still not quite that horny....but close 😳
Peeing is getting better. Still not a constant stream and still have to coax it now and then but all in all not bad. Getting use to it and liking it more and more. I always was use to sitting but this is SO much more different lol
I still have many stitches, most in the libia and and clitoral area but I'm sure there some in the vaginal cavity as well....just haven't looked recently. Ya know, it's not easy to see my anotomy now. I have to use a mirror and if I want to see good, some sort of bright light, I only have my knees to hold the mirror and if I want a closer pic I have to use my phone. I also don't like to see it close up too much! I'm fine from a distance lol
I'm hoping I could cut down on some pain meds. I'm getting a bit constipated, not fully since I do take something to prevent it from going to far. I'm not on any antibiotics, I don't think I still need to be, it seems like everything is healing fine. I have discharge but nothing of odd color. I have much more discharge at night, I'm not sure why this is. It's probably why I'm in more pain at night.
All in all things are ok. I hope things improve dramatically soon, since I'll be returning to work very soon. They do not know I have had any type surgery so I can't say I'm sore for no reason!
I do have more good moments lately than bad. I really do like what I have! I never did miss my old part but I'm definetly liking my new one! 😁 It's good and so much fun to be a girl 😀😀
It will steadily get better and better. You are just like me, I felt no pain after surgery and was over active causing tears in the stitching 5which with the dilation and its micro tears give us a 24/7 continual ache. It will all go away.....
Thanks warlock! I'm hoping, cause my nights are still bad. I may get permanent bags under eyes soon!
If you are using tramadol there's a slow release version that lasts 12 hours.
Just some journaling I did the days before and day of surgery. Though I would share. I forgot to post these awhile ago.
Aug 24
I've been on airplane now for almost 9 hours. I'm am on my way to complete my life. So many memories have been flooding my brain. I feel so alone, but it's not hurting like it has at other times. I think I knew I would be doing this all alone from the very beginning. Everything seems like it's not real. I don't think it will feel real until I'm laying on the table ready for the operation.
I just watched the Danish Girl on Airplane. Probably not the best movie to watch at this time, since she dies at the end. It's so surreal, since this is the same determination I feel as well. I can't go on living the life I have now. I need to be complete and if death becomes part of the plan I am willing to accept that fate.
Just about 3 hours left till Tokyo, then another 6 hours. Then tomorrow I will meet the people who will take care of me for the next 20 days.
Aug 28
I'm now sitting outside the PAI clinic, I was too cold inside. I'm waiting for the dr to basically tell me they can or cannot do the operation.......I need to get cathlab test to see if blockage. If it's positive then no surgery, if negative then it's a go. I pray so hard God please come in negative. I can't go home the same as I am. Please God let this happen, please, please oh God please!!
Aug 30 2:11 AM
The test is negative!!!! September 1, 2016 is the day I finaly become complete!! 😀😀 I have dreamed of this moment since I was 12 years old. I can not imagine how I will feel, though pain will be one of the feelings lol. I am starting to love myself more and more. This will only help.
Aug 31
It's about 8 hours before one of the biggest steps of my life is about to take place. The way I am feeling about it is differently than what I had thought. But then again I never dreamed that I would be getting the surgery. A part of me is about to be gone for good. It is something I have had and even enjoyed at times for over **years. Yet I'm not going to miss it one bit. I had thought I would want to use it sexually one last time before, hell its been 11 years! But that's not the case either. I am very nervous about the surgery, and am praying for no complications. I see myself waking up to a new world in about 12 hours.
Sept 1
I'm now waiting to be picked up to go to the hospital. Things haven't yet sunk in. I'm feel some anxiety, and trying to relax. It's not nothing more than usual though. I'm composing some messages to my children and will send before I leave motel. I don't want my messages to have a feeling of fear, yet I want them to know I love them more than anything. I need them to realize this in case something were to happen. I'm so ready for what is about to come. I have NO regrets, this was meant to happen. I will be complete and my life will improve 1000% I foresee this!!
Sept 1
I'm now laying in my hospital bed, it's about 3 hours till surgery. I'm feeling really good! I'm not nervous. I've made a short video for reference. Kind of a goodbye to what I have now, but no tears more of a smile if anything. I sent a short message to my children and other family members. I've also composed a message to a family member to tell them where I am and what room. I've instructed them in what to do if things don't go as planned. I also instructed this person on how to proceed with telling my children if things went wrong. I did inform this person that I foresee nothing but success! They've already shaved me, not much to do since I made sure all was fairly cleaned before. I'm feeling more anxious than nervous. Not many memories running through my head, I think I had them run through the days previous. I'm really thinking much of disbelief that this is happening. I'm saying a prayer to my God to ensure I do wake up afterwards. Well in about 6 hours my life will be more complete. See me on the other side 😀
S :)
Quote from: AnonyMs on September 28, 2016, 09:33:26 AM
If you are using tramadol there's a slow release version that lasts 12 hours.
Thanks!
Im going to see doctor today to see if there is an infection and to see if I can get something stronger.
Quote from: shellsters on September 27, 2016, 01:27:58 PM
Ok, it's been 26 days since surgery. Sometimes I think I'm doing so well in that short of time, other times not so. My nights are the worse still. Last night I went to bed feeling good, probably the best I have yet. I still took my pain meds though. Well 3 hours later up with pain, waited awhile than took more meds, then up again 3 hours later. The meds should last at least 6 hours, 3 is the best I get. I've been doing sitz baths twice a day, sometimes skip the night one. They have helped tremendously! I've started to do my morning dilation while taking my morning one 😀
Everything is starting to look normal, labias are still quite numb along with the rest of the vulva...to a degree. It's still about the same to dilate, not painful until towards the end of it. I still have many stiches, more of them out. Sensation is still there but not as strong. This brings up another thing. My sex drive has now started to increase but my sensations are not as strong as about a week ago. Then they were quite strong and I could orgasim just by rubbing near my clitoral area, but it felt wrong and I really didn't want to do it. Now I kind of want to but the sensation isnt as strong. I could of I tried more, but still not quite that horny....but close 😳
Peeing is getting better. Still not a constant stream and still have to coax it now and then but all in all not bad. Getting use to it and liking it more and more. I always was use to sitting but this is SO much more different lol
I still have many stitches, most in the libia and and clitoral area but I'm sure there some in the vaginal cavity as well....just haven't looked recently. Ya know, it's not easy to see my anotomy now. I have to use a mirror and if I want to see good, some sort of bright light, I only have my knees to hold the mirror and if I want a closer pic I have to use my phone. I also don't like to see it close up too much! I'm fine from a distance lol
I'm hoping I could cut down on some pain meds. I'm getting a bit constipated, not fully since I do take something to prevent it from going to far. I'm not on any antibiotics, I don't think I still need to be, it seems like everything is healing fine. I have discharge but nothing of odd color. I have much more discharge at night, I'm not sure why this is. It's probably why I'm in more pain at night.
All in all things are ok. I hope things improve dramatically soon, since I'll be returning to work very soon. They do not know I have had any type surgery so I can't say I'm sore for no reason!
I do have more good moments lately than bad. I really do like what I have! I never did miss my old part but I'm definetly liking my new one! 😁 It's good and so much fun to be a girl 😀😀
So happy for you ;D ;D
I'm glad your prayers were answered.may you continue to have a speedy recovery.
Deanna