Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I've been on HRT for 3 years and the changes are becoming quite drastic. I love the changes and would never turn back but , but once in a while I realize how far I have come and stand on the cliff looking into my future and it definitely takes adjusting.

Trying to stay under the radar while at work. A lot of breast growth would be bad for that..

I don't really fear the changes that I understand will occur; its changes that I don't expect that worry me a bit; especially if its a change someone else notices before I do.  (like the doc unexpectedly touching the underside of my breast and noticing "atypical for male"... we have a deal though, I keep my blood work perfect, he doesn't write anything unfortunate. lol)

I'm pre-everything and most of the HRT changes I've heard about sounds positive for me. The only things I thinks I would dislike would be balding and acne, especially the hair loss. Male pattern baldness is something I doesn't want. But not everybody gets it. I've seen many men who is 80+ with their head full of hair too. So there aren't guarantee for balding.

I'm new here as I was a TG Boards girl but I decided to give this forum a go. Anyhoo, I have been on hormones for three and a half years. The changes are phenomenal! I'm 5'5 and a 32 D with a 26-27 inch waist and 37 inch hips--last I measured. But after laser is when I really noticed how different I look physically. Not to brag, as I'm not about that, but I pass 110 percent. Case and Point: I lived in a women's facility for 90 days and no one said a thing. And they were not fans of TG peeps. There were a couple in other floors and they used to laugh and point and mock them really loudly. I couldn't do anything as I had to protect myself. There were four showers for 25 women. So I had to stand there often in a towel.

That really changed me and gave me so much confidence in myself. I wish every trans person was treated the same. Back to the topic, the changes are so drastic that I could shave my head and still look pretty--or prettyish. I got a hot BF who is pushing for SRS (Anal is awesome, but a, well, you know is better). But I will be getting next year around March or a lil later. I can't wait. Pennslyvania now covers it in Medicaid which is great for my Millennial self.

Sorry if this was TLDR and off track. XOXO

I don't fear the changes per say, I just keep telling my self, one day at a time. As far as work is concerned, there has been many small changes and no one really made a big deal of it. So I will continue to go one day at a time, it works for me.

Josie Ann

I was quite mental before, so no real difference  ;)








Paula, X.

I'm afraid of the slow incomplete changes that I've been getting for a while. Like my boobs are shaped like soccer cones and they won't really develop much more. I'm still waiting for my hips to fill in but it's been almost a year and they have grown about .25 inches if that.

I fear a fat backside and thighs, and it will not be happening as long as I can do anything about it, so I spend half an hour a night on my exercise bike in front of my favourite soap. That's about it.

I was 36-28-34 before I started. I'll be happy to stay that way or go to 36-26-36, but that is my comfort zone, and I've got so many clothes I love, including very expensive women's jeans I've worn for years for the fit, to be throwing out thousands worth of stuff accumulated since pretty much the late 90's, to accommodate much more than those measurements.

I have noticed no personality changes, but I think that's probably more to do with people being depressed and suddenly freed from it, rather than 'women's hormones' making you want to wash dishes or cry more frequently, and my therapist pretty much agrees. I am as excited by buying books, shoes, and things for my flat as I ever was.

I certainly don't want a sexuality change, which I have read about in some people. I'm quite happy being attracted to men. I'm slightly worried that my ability to enjoy sex will be curtailed between a few months down the line, and post SRS, but I've always had my best orgasms via nipple stimulation alone anyway, so maybe that'll be fine.

Oh yeah - thin skinning. I've always had very soft skin, softer than most women, and I'm well up on my skincare. So I can't see how much more it would thin by without being non existent, but I certainly don't want or need that, and by the end of this process, I doubt I'll be able to afford the facelift that would be required to turn what, if it thinned much more than genetics gave me would end up crepe like, back into something resembling someone of my age group.

Pre HRT, and without a tan either real or fake, I already saw every last blue vein on my arms, hands, and particularly eyelids. I can't see any scope for it to become softer or thinner. People ahead of me have said that's a first change. I've seen no difference, so long may it remain so.

Years ago, I had a flatmate who weirdly used to stroke the tops of my feet if we were relaxing together, because they were the silkiest body part she'd ever felt on a male or female, and they are. I've always been told by people who've taken or shaken my hand that it's so soft 'you've clearly never done a hard days work in your life' - well, I have, but it's just had no effect. So any further softening or thinning would actually destroy my skin.

If the "dishes" thing was aimed at something I wrote recently, I might clarify that I have ALWAYS run our homes' kitchen, including washing dishes; what is new is allowing myself to feel satisfaction from doing so.   Socially, I associate that role as a feminine role, and sought it out, but also fought against the idea because I didn't want to admit that I wasn't trying to be "master Chef" but rather, simply wanted to run my home, the same way as my grandmother ran hers.

Quote from: rwOnnaDesuKa on August 26, 2016, 06:48:53 PM
If the "dishes" thing was aimed at something I wrote recently, I might clarify that I have ALWAYS run our homes' kitchen, including washing dishes; what is new is allowing myself to feel satisfaction from doing so.   Socially, I associate that role as a feminine role, and sought it out, but also fought against the idea because I didn't want to admit that I wasn't trying to be "master Chef" but rather, simply wanted to run my home, the same way as my grandmother ran hers.

No, not at all. I'm sorry you got that. I didn't read that post. I just gave it as an example. It sounded politer written down than 'scrub floors'.

I didn't know anything about how you ran your home, it's your home, do what you like there. I too have always been pretty firm on how my houses look and what needs done.

Your respect for your grandmother is lovely. I'm very close to mine too. I don't think our two posts are in conflict - what you do at home is what you've always done.

Like I said, I discussed it with my therapist. Neither you or the post I didn't read came up as parts of that session. It was just an example.

Its cool, I might have just tried to tuck and tape and failed.. and there might have been some pain involved....  maybe..

I just didn't want someone to misunderstand what I had written, its not much of a jump from there to some misogynist attitude of "woman's place"; as opposed to free choices of free individuals.

I equated "Fear" with trepidation in order to answer.

Over the decades I relied on the occasional periods on low dose HRT to give me the much needed "Brain Reset". I just wanted to be normal, to feel normal, or as normal as a guy like me could. I always stayed on weeks to months after the resetting. Only when things below the belt started taking a hit and interfering with "The Prime Directive" did I stop.

This last time low dose quickly morphed into feminizing. At the same time I started taking on the Trans-Beast for real. Which meant discovering who I really am. A lot of the discovery process was already underway. I was healing. After I started HRT my wife's fear came out more and more. "As you learn who you really are.... who knows what direction you'll turn" meaning.... her picturing me dumping her for some guy.

Like my transition experiments years ago, guys were also there. Been there tried it. Reality was not quite the fantasy. Well, after a few years on HRT, and a few years of self discovery, feeling the joy of being the real me in the real world.... guys are showing up more and more in my dreams at night as well as looking far far better and attractive then they ever have been. Certainly not expected by me. Or was it denial? Given how my wife, aka my "Reality Therapist" is not just often, but usually right more often then I am... I kind of have to lean towards denial

I don't fear the changes at all.  I embrace them.  I'm finally sane.  I do fear the loss of people close to me who love the idea of me as male, as they'll be losing that, and I may be losing them, but I refuse to sacrifice my sanity for their illusions.

Hey, on being the "little homemaker", that's me! I not only cook and do the dishes, I mop floors and vacuum.  I also make beds and do some of the laundry.  (Daughter is learning how in prep for leaving the nest...) I've been doing this for decades.  After a few nudges from the therapist, I suspect I've been substituting gender role for gender presentation as a sort of half baked compensation.  My spouse claims to be not interested in such things (coming from a hoarder house, complete with rats and stacks of 30 year old newspapers), and "lets you do things because you're so picky about how you want them done."  Yeah, and folding towels makes them easier to get out than just stuffing them in a heap into the closet...

Oh, and I aso designed the kitchen and entertainment spaces, including architectural drawings, materials, fixture, and appliance selection, right down to tile trim and precise paint colors.  Thus taking nest building to a whole new level.  :)

I learned to hide my emotions from a young age and my only fear is that I will have a hard time controlling them once I'm on HRT. Expressing my true emotions will be a welcome change of course but I'll have to show confidence, strength and professionalism in my work to be taken seriously which may be hard when E takes control after so many years of T poisoning.

I tell people that I'm not crazy, just that my reality is different from theirs. XD

Joking aside, I look forward to the changes. I already squat three to five times a week, so a bigger backside and thighs would make me ecstatic. lol

Regardless, I've been gearing my workouts toward shaping my body in such a way that will make me look and feel more feminine once I'm able to start HRT.

careful with the calves, they're as hard to get rid of as they are to get in the first place....  easy to drive too much power through the ball of your foot and engage the calves on a squat.     The clothing fitter I talked to said the skinny jeans will go over them anyway, but I have my doubts!   

I'm in little danger of big calves, hehe. Either way, my feet have relatively equal pressure on both the ball and heel of each foot when doing them. I've done just about every squat routine out there (StrongLifts 5x5, 5/3/1, Smolov Jr., Squat Everyday, etc.) and, though my calves naturally got somewhat bigger, I've not seen a huge difference. Unless I directly work them, their size won't be an issue. I'm sure that once HRT is implemented, I'll see a decrease in vascularity, as well.

Quote from: JoanneB on August 27, 2016, 09:17:47 AM
I equated "Fear" with trepidation in order to answer.

Over the decades I relied on the occasional periods on low dose HRT to give me the much needed "Brain Reset". I just wanted to be normal, to feel normal, or as normal as a guy like me could. I always stayed on weeks to months after the resetting. Only when things below the belt started taking a hit and interfering with "The Prime Directive" did I stop.

This last time low dose quickly morphed into feminizing. At the same time I started taking on the Trans-Beast for real. Which meant discovering who I really am. A lot of the discovery process was already underway. I was healing. After I started HRT my wife's fear came out more and more. "As you learn who you really are.... who knows what direction you'll turn" meaning.... her picturing me dumping her for some guy.

Like my transition experiments years ago, guys were also there. Been there tried it. Reality was not quite the fantasy. Well, after a few years on HRT, and a few years of self discovery, feeling the joy of being the real me in the real world.... guys are showing up more and more in my dreams at night as well as looking far far better and attractive then they ever have been. Certainly not expected by me. Or was it denial? Given how my wife, aka my "Reality Therapist" is not just often, but usually right more often then I am... I kind of have to lean towards denial

I think fear and denial was the problem for me. I grew up in a very male dominated environment. My older sister always had her boy friend and his male friends around all the time. I knew I was so different so I built a wall to pretend I was like them. I knew that I was bisexual , but also knew I had to hide that fact. My male ego didn't fully want to admit I wanted a man and fought it. Now that I'm developing physically as who I really am I'm acknowledging to myself more freely about being attracted  to men. When I was growing up I just couldn't admit it, but the changes now are giving me my freedom.

Having had to take a heaps of medication over the years for a chronic illness you do learn to notice medications and their effects on you. I can feel when things for me are out of whack. Since starting HRT the only fear I had is it would not mix with my other meds but it has been completely different. I feel good...overall health...I feel good. The hormones are working well I have solid breast budding and am actually about Tanner stage 3 already but I also had a head start so as we always say....YMMV

Liz

I think the only change I fear is no change! Otherwise, what's the point, right?

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Falterna-tickers.com%2Ftickers%2Fgenerated_tickers%2Fi%2Fiztw5sen1.png&hash=22e68940b56d1c81ea193fe49ab84b314e5366e6) (http://alterna-tickers.com)

the change is incredibly liberating

Quote from: Spunky Brewster on August 26, 2016, 02:26:03 PM
I'm new here as I was a TG Boards girl but I decided to give this forum a go. Anyhoo, I have been on hormones for three and a half years. The changes are phenomenal! I'm 5'5 and a 32 D with a 26-27 inch waist and 37 inch hips--last I measured. But after laser is when I really noticed how different I look physically. Not to brag, as I'm not about that, but I pass 110 percent. Case and Point: I lived in a women's facility for 90 days and no one said a thing. And they were not fans of TG peeps. There were a couple in other floors and they used to laugh and point and mock them really loudly. I couldn't do anything as I had to protect myself. There were four showers for 25 women. So I had to stand there often in a towel.

That really changed me and gave me so much confidence in myself. I wish every trans person was treated the same. Back to the topic, the changes are so drastic that I could shave my head and still look pretty--or prettyish. I got a hot BF who is pushing for SRS (Anal is awesome, but a, well, you know is better). But I will be getting next year around March or a lil later. I can't wait. Pennslyvania now covers it in Medicaid which is great for my Millennial self.

Sorry if this was TLDR and off track. XOXO

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With warmth,

Joanna

I never doubted that the changes in my mental framework would feel positive and the have. I went into this with some concerns for permanent physical changes and now being well past that point - I think the growth in my bust is here to stay - and yet not being 100% certain I want surgery gives me some fears.

So far most of my body hair remains and so hirsute breasts and torso would seem to be my lot. At least so far I've not lost strength but that's an ongoing concern.

I'm currently on the low-dose track and boy are my breasts starting to seem bigger!  To be honest, its a bit amazing/terrifying at the same time.  Truly an odd combination of sensations. 

I've always openly welcomed whatever changes would come and overall I've been more than pleasantly surprised by the changes I've had this last year on HRT.

Bring em' on! If there's anything I fear, it's taking my med's correctly and perceiving that my progress is backsliding somehow. It seems some days my brain starts zinging and the dysphoria makes me see more male in the mirror than other days. It's a complete crap-shoot on which days I feel which way and find it quite exhausting. I should be taking timeline pics but haven't yet. Don't know why...? I certainly should as it might calm me. OTOH, it might depress the hell out of me too :'(

Quote from: jentay1367 on September 02, 2016, 05:49:45 PM
... I should be taking timeline pics but haven't yet. Don't know why...? I certainly should as it might calm me. OTOH, it might depress the hell out of me too :'(

Been taking daily selfies, but checked out a photo from Pre HRT and compared to current one and the difference in my face is really noticeable especially with the wig...do yourself a favour even if its just one photo at the beginning of each month...you will be surprised when you look back to 3 or 4 months prior. I know I was!!!

It is great for the Psyche

Liz

Thanks Charlotte, I think I'll take your advice and start to take weekly selfies. I'll probably be glad I did later. I can always toss em', but if I never take em', I'll never have em'!

 I'll second the fact that the changes will come but looking at yourself in the mirror everyday you won't really notice.

Here are my changes so far.  The one on the left is HRT day one in Jan 15.  The one on the right is from a few weeks ago in Jul 16.  I'm lucky in the hair department and both pics are with my own hair.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi50.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff341%2Fdebbie7571%2FForum%2520Pics%2FFAC436A5-8372-47B0-BB01-35D123294C6B_zpsegjw6hp7.jpg&hash=973d771d40e05ae1d59122d170095ff48659621f) (http://s50.photobucket.com/user/debbie7571/media/Forum%20Pics/FAC436A5-8372-47B0-BB01-35D123294C6B_zpsegjw6hp7.jpg.html)

nice

Hell no!  I've been rattling this cage for a long-ass time now!
I do fear the injections.  I hAAAAAATE needles...

Quote from: Deborah on September 03, 2016, 10:57:37 AM
I'll second the fact that the changes will come but looking at yourself in the mirror everyday you won't really notice.

Here are my changes so far.  The one on the left is HRT day one in Jan 15.  The one on the right is from a few weeks ago in Jul 16.  I'm lucky in the hair department and both pics are with my own hair.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi50.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Ff341%2Fdebbie7571%2FForum%2520Pics%2FFAC436A5-8372-47B0-BB01-35D123294C6B_zpsegjw6hp7.jpg&hash=973d771d40e05ae1d59122d170095ff48659621f) (http://s50.photobucket.com/user/debbie7571/media/Forum%20Pics/FAC436A5-8372-47B0-BB01-35D123294C6B_zpsegjw6hp7.jpg.html)

This gives me both feelings of jealousy and hope. Jealousy because I'm a bit thin up top and hopeful because I look forward to starting HRT. :D

No! Lol. Don't know why anyone would, but that's not the point. I honestly love the changes and want more! I have been 16months on HRT and it's amazing what HRT has done. Though I was already feminine looking before, HRT really changed me even more. I will list in topics.

*Muscle tone: I can't be more satisfied with this one! I never had much before HRT, just maybe a little on my arms and it has mostly vanished or taken on another form. My body isn't muscly at all, it's just thin now with some adorable areas of fat lol

*Fat distribution: Love it!!! Loooove it! I carry most of weight on my tighs, hips and butt now. I even walk a little differently now, with more gait. I love how my face has become fuller and rounder, and when I smile I look often baby faced hahhaa

*Breasts: The area I'm most disappointed in. I am still a Tanner Stage II. I Might try to substitute Provera for Prometrium, because I heard it's better, even though I have to see if my endo allows first. My nipples have become noticeably larger and more senstive to touch and climate changes. That quote from Mean Girls: "My boobs can tell when it's going to rain" isn't that far away from true at all LOL! Besides, when a guy touches them, it's very pleasurable!! They are round, but I just wish they were bigger.

*Voice: I started HRT at 18 but my voice never changed (along with other things), it stayed high. I never felt the need to change it or emulate another. In fact, I was often annoyed by my records, because I could sound a little babyish even! Lol

*Hair growth: Never had much and always epilated them, but on mylegs the growth rate has decreased a lot, so I don't need to worry about it weekly as I did before. On my face, I never had beard, just a little whiskers which I plucked everyday but now not even that is visible so I pluck it from time to time.

*Face: It has become prettier, rounder and more feminine. My eyes even seem to stick out more. I love my face.

*Personality changes: The personality changes are not really an effect from HRT itself, more like an effect of being happier since transition. I am indeed happier. I talk more, laugh more, and definitely live more. "Carpe diem" you could say. Life is just a beautiful thing and we need to cherish for being alive and make the most of what is handed to us.

*Men: I'm so shy with men! I have always been and still am. I find my heart still not to be completely available to be in a relationship, maybe because I need to feel 100% percent and am still not there (though, quite close). Plus, I haven't had SRS yet. I have only been with one guy and it didn't become a committed relationship. And I am still a virgin. I find myself insecure of my own experience and don't know how to explain to men that I am both inexperient and trans! Lol. But we'll see.

Overall, I'm quite happy. I hope everyone becomes as happy. Transition IS life changing.

No fear ..i hope it changes me in everyway possible for ever ......i look forward to embacing the change

Nope and I never have. I looked forward to the changes that HRT brought. Hugs
Mariah

Bring it on

The one thing I don't like about HRT is the loss in aerobic capacity. Loss of strength is annoying, but I can accept that.