Susan's Place Transgender Resources

For me personally I have always considered myself bisexual.  just happen to enjoy men and women for the most part equally . I am finding though that the longer I'm on estrogen and the more changes that are happening I am somewhat abandoning my attraction sexually towards woman. Has anyone else experience a drastic shift towards who they are attracted to due to the HRT.

Hi Stephenie,
I posted a question nearly identical in the HRT section. Has gotten quite a few responses. (Still active, just started a few days ago).

In short, for me yes. I consider(ed) myself asexual though since starting HRT I found myself feeling more connected emotionally to everyone and actually attracted to women.

The rest of the responses are quite varied.


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Yes for me too, but whether the underlying cause is HRT or other are still up in the air. My orientation does change.

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I think for me is that the more I physically look how I'm suppose to look I'm far more self accepting of my attraction towards men.

Though it wasn't a clear cut answer I ran with a complete 180.

In the past I was attracted to women and aroused to some degree about having sex with a woman I loved. I was always aroused by imagining having sex as a woman but never attracted to guys. Post HRT no attraction to women, plenty of attraction towards men even more aroused about having sex as a woman with said men.

Thank you for making this post, I was wondering were to ask this my self. I been Asexual my whole life never had sexual attraction to anything really. But I think that is changing. I don't know why but i feel much more strongly attracted to female now that i started hormones. I started to freak out yesterday because i was watching a tv show were there were two lovers and i felt something i never felt before towards that. I really wanted what they had i never felt like that before

Prior to hrt I always considered myself a straight man and said after I will probably just be a lesbian but now that I am 2 years in almost I have changed completely now mind you I still find women attractive and wouldn't say no to the right person but I find myself actively seeking a relationship with a straight male cause I see myself now more of a straight female. So ya if I was always into men and the hrt just made my mind more clear or what I will never know but all I can say is that I have changed a lot when it come to sexuality


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Hello

Yes, for me a revelation has been my desire to be with a man after 30 years of only being attracted to women. However, I am going to wait for GCS before intimacy.

Love Jools x

yes, GCS is an important part of my desire to be completely with a man

Hi Stepanie,

I copy and pasted part of this from a response I made in another thread in case someone can benefit from reading my thoughts here...

Very early into my transition, I knew I wanted to try going out with a guy after a lifetime of relationships with women. I signed up on several of the TG/CD specific dating sites and was quite surprised with the amount of responses I received. As you can imagine... Much of it was a little crude and not all that welcome but, amongst all of it, I found a few that that were nice!!!... Not only secure with who they were, but secure with the attraction they felt to me as an "unconventional woman." They approached me in a respectful manner, shared themselves honestly through what they wrote me and I did the same.

There was one in particular with whom I seemed to share a lot of common ground and lived just two hours north... We met in person and all has gone well since... He is a wonderful supportive man who has been with me through the whole process of facial procedures, GRS etc. We got a house together over a year ago and last December he proposed to me... We are planning a September wedding.

One interesting aspect of all this as the way my attraction morphed... I found as transition progressed that my attraction to females melted away... When I looked at a woman who I might have previously been attracted to, I found myself experiencing mostly just envy...("wish I had her hair, skin, eyes etc...) A transwoman friend put forward a theory that resonated with me immediately... That what I had always thought was a healthy attraction to women was on some level, hero worship... As I thought about the greatest relationships of my life... I think she was right...on some level, I wanted to be those women!...

Onward we all go!!!

Take Care,
Ashley

Always attracted to men.

I love Ashley xx   Have you always been so beautiful, any before pictures?

Such an inspiration, I am going to try dating a man for the first time ever!!!

Hormones and blockers are supposed to reduce your libido, but mine has increased. I have been waiting tooo long for intimacy.

Love Jools x

Hi Julie!!!!

Thanks so much for the kind words!....I'm excited for the point of time you are at in your journey!!!... Amazing things await you...Like other aspects of transition, dating is another area I think it is best to experience by just getting out there and doing it as opposed to waiting for some undefinable day in th future when we think conditions will be "perfect"...

I had never had the desire to have a gay relationship while living as a male but had always wanted to experience being with a man, as a woman... I actually found the transition of my attraction to feel quite natural...

I posted before and after pics in this thread... Posts #108-111

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,210798.100.html

Take Care,

Ashley :)

I have actually come to the realization that I was never attracted to women. I had always liked women but not because I was sexually attracted to them. I liked them because that is how I wanted to look. I had been repressing what I thought were homosexual thoughts since I was 12. And started to act on them just a couple of months ago but realized that I was not attracted to men as a man, but was a attracted to men as a woman.

Before I would have said I was strictly attracted to women, though I don't feel that was entirely true.  Back then any attraction I felt towards a guy I more often than not just discounted and brushed off as in my head or mistaken for something else.

After HRT, I was forced to re-evaluate my feelings of attraction.  While I'm definitely still attracted to women I am indeed attracted men as well.  It was likely I always had a bisexual leaning before HRT and that only intensified for me after.  At this point I'm pretty comfortable with the Bisexual label and have readily come to terms with my feelings of attraction.

I don't really think it is the HRT itself as much as not fighting who I am.  When I stopped fighting who I was, many things changed.

In my case I like both and just used to like women. 

Well to answer the question I suppose I did experience a 180 degree shift in attraction away from females to males, very unnerving and adjusting to the feelings at the time, but I just went with it. Before transition the very thought of being with a man sexual or in a relationship was ugh! gross me out yuck, but that completely changed as transition progressed

Quote from: tgirlamc on August 29, 2016, 08:57:30 PM

One interesting aspect of all this as the way my attraction morphed... I found as transition progressed that my attraction to females melted away... When I looked at a woman who I might have previously been attracted to, I found myself experiencing mostly just envy...("wish I had her hair, skin, eyes etc...) A transwoman friend put forward a theory that resonated with me immediately... That what I had always thought was a healthy attraction to women was on some level, hero worship... As I thought about the greatest relationships of my life... I think she was right...on some level, I wanted to be those women!... 

You've explained it very well Ashley, that's exactly my thoughts, now as a woman it feel so right and natural for me being in a relationship with a man who fully and completely accepts me as a woman, I'm now married to a man for 6 years, very ordinary traditional binary marriage, hubby does all the guy stuff, I do all the wife stuff, just a normal husband and wife, I could never have forseen this 30 years, I happy the way things turned out, life is so normal, the normality of it all.

HI Pauline!

You remind me of my relationship!... We are getting married in 3 weeks ... We are just a normal couple.... We were in Target once and he said..."people probably picture being with a transwoman like some crazy mix of underground society and kinky sex, and here we are looking for coffee maker filters and electric toothbrushes "...

Yup ...we are as boring as everyone else and I love it!!!

Ashley :)

Quote from: tgirlamc on August 31, 2016, 02:02:29 PM
HI Pauline!

You remind me of my relationship!... We are getting married in 3 weeks ... We are just a normal couple.... We were in Target once and he said..."people probably picture being with a transwoman like some crazy mix of underground society and kinky sex, and here we are looking for coffee maker filters and electric toothbrushes "...

Yup ...we are as boring as everyone else and I love it!!!

Ashley :)

OMG 3 weeks to your wedding, I wish you all the happiness, the lead up to the wedding I found the most nerve-wracking, then 24 hours before my big day, pre wedding bridal nerves, wanting my hair, makeup, nails, shoes and dress to be perfect, all the attention is on the bride, nobody looks at the guy, everything worked out ok, then it's just a normal life, we're still married after 6 years, no kinky sex lol, nowadays I'm just another boring mundane housewife that doesn't stand out at the shopping mall doing grocery shopping, while hubby goes off to work in a regular job, but I'm at peace with my life now, just being a woman.

Hey Pauline!

That's kind of where I'm at with things too!!! He does the guy stuff and I am another boring housewife!!!... Far from where I ever realistically saw my life going years ago but so much better!!!!... I've been a lot of things in my lifetime... But now I am just me!!!

Hugs!!!
Ashley :)

I don't want to hijack this thread, but thank you for your replies Ashley, I love to start a thread on ''life after transition'' makes me feel I'm not alone, after all our stress going thru transition, then just very normal life when it's all done, your so right

Quote from: tgirlamc on August 31, 2016, 03:58:18 PM
He does the guy stuff and I am another boring housewife!!!

Your relationship so similar to mine, yes hubby does all the guy stuff, heavy outside chores and fixing things, I do the wife stuff cooking, cleaning, dusting, laundry etc. life goes on, but I wouldn't change it, I love being a woman.
Welcome to married life.
Pauline

Guys started looking a whole lot more attractive when I started progesterone.

Two things happened in parallel. I was taking hormones. That worked on how I looked and I looked better to men who act completely differently toward me than before I started to transition. The women I tried to date really were not very good lovers--clumsy and self-absorbed in my experience. The men knew exactly what to do and knew their way around a woman's body. (Sorry lesbians, but I have to be honest here.)

So it that men are better lovers? Did something get switched on in my brain? Did men's positive behavior open a door?

All this shifting happened post-op. Pre-op I did not dare chance sex. I transitioned in the early-mid 1970s and it was a very dangerous time to be pre-.

Quote from: Virginia Hall on September 25, 2016, 06:03:07 PM
All this shifting happened post-op. Pre-op I did not dare chance sex. I transitioned in the early-mid 1970s and it was a very dangerous time to be pre-.

I'm always honored to have a woman like you join us Virginia!!! Doing this stuff in the 70s was a task of unimaginable difficulty... A high wire act without a safety net.... Information was so difficult to get in those pre internet times and I would like to thank you for blazing the trail for all who followed you!!!... I try to repay the girls who went before me by paying it forward to those that come behind

Take Care,

Ashley :)

Sorry but to me the last thing I want is to be attracted to men. Being male I have never had a desire to be with men. In fact I have always been comfortable around women more then men. I've been with my wife for 30 years, the last thing I want is to think about being with someone else.

I suppose that I was bisexual before. Although, I didn't really get a lot of experience one way or the other I experimented in both directions.

I found my wife attractive, but when I was with her, I switched places with her in my mind.

There was a gay man that liked me a lot when I was pre-op and I gave that a try and it wasn't for me. I think that I was too distracted by my own body and he wanted to be with a man. 

I did have a brief relationship with a straight man while I was pre-op and somehow that was completely different. He was willing to wait for me through SRS and everything, but I ended up breaking it off. I think that I needed to be unattached for a while.

In the end, I view myself as mostly hetero. That is, I am really only interested in men - my husband these last two decades.