I'm Transgender (MTF). I've known for a little over two months now and I'm terrified to tell my parents. I'm underage and still rely on them for support. I don't want to be kicked out of the house because I'll have nowhere to go.
I'm just starting puberty and its so scary to imagine going through the puberty of the wrong gender. I want to tell my parents that I want long hair, that I want to shave the hair off my arms and legs, but I'm so scared of being judged. I want to wear feminine clothing, but if they don't accept me for who I am, I don't know what I would do. I just really need to know how to tell my parents and how to deal with all this.
An open letter to parents of transsexual children. Is on the wiki.
Nichole,
Welcome to the site.
I am glad to see you have found the youth talk section. So far it has mostly been we older ladies replying to you. However, that section should have people your age too. While we have experience, they have the feel and knowledge of your currant world.
Dena gave you some good advice with the letters. I also want to mention there is a spot on the site for significant others(called, you guessed it, Significant Others). It is not just for romantic SOs. It is also for the family of the trans person(it is said, when you transition, the whole family does-in a way it is right). If they are supportive but just don't understand, the letters and the SO section are helpful if they want to stop by.
I also want to share some links with you. They are mostly welcome information and the rules that govern the site. If you have not had a chance to look through them, please take a moment:
Things that you should read
Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html) | Standard Terms & Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html) | Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.) |
Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html) | News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html) | Photo, avatars, & signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866) |
Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in.
With warmth,
Joanna
Thank you so much! It's a tough time and I'm glad I found this site to help me work it all out.
When i come out to my family (which is about a year from now if i gather the nerve), i plan to use this video as the introduction.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Ca2n2kJa_U&list=LLx5WLRg0IXko93kGDXNEzqQ&index=1 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Ca2n2kJa_U&list=LLx5WLRg0IXko93kGDXNEzqQ&index=1)
Laura
Thank you for posting this, Laura. I need to have The Talk with my adult children soon, and this will be very helpful. I may not show them the video, but it is a very good outline for how to structure The Talk, much better than how I handled it for my wife and younger daughter.
Is there a school counsellor you can talk to? From there they can help you open the door with your parents. Counselling with a gender counselor and GnRH to delay puberty while you sort things out.
Laura, thank you so much. This video has said all the things I want to say to my parents. I'm definelty going to use it to help me come out. Thank you for showing it to me.
Rachael, thank you. There is a counsellor at my school I can talk to. I hope that they will be understanding and they'd be a good person to tell first because I don't know them very well, so it won't be devastating if they push me away.