I completed 2 years on HRT this month and I swear to god I'm more unhappy than I was before transitioning.
I think HRT is definitely hyped.
In the beginning Yes, it felt good. I was so excited.
But gradually I just don't know. I never had issues with body image. But now I have.. more than ever.
My shoulders are so broad and my waist is so small in comparison. Its so sad. Dressing only helps you a little. At the end of the day if I wanna be with a guy I would be embaressed to take my clothes off.
Also I'm just more emotional, almost like I feel suicidal to some extent.
My face was so fuller and it had this glow during my 9th month of HRT and now my face seems to have lost the glow and the fullness. Its almost like it was before HRT kinda sucked in. My hands had become feminine and how its all fat and manly again. Im still taking my meds. But yeah.
At the end I feel more unhappy. I feel like I am losing this fight.
I don't know how to touch this question without it being medical advice, other than to offer sympathy. It reads like T is back in control, one way or another. But how you test for that and address it is really between you and your physician...
Lara,
That is terrible. I am so sorry for your experience.
Are you seeing a therapist still? When was the last time you had your blood tested. I kind of agree with rwOnnaDesuKa.
I hope you get this taken care of.
With warmth,
Joanna
HRT hyped? Not that I've ever seen. It's no magic bullet and no one around here will tell you otherwise.
I absolutely mean no harm, but one usually transitions to see if it's a viable option or the solution to ones particular problem. For myself I saw transition as an experiment to see if it was the solution. For me , yes most definitely it's the solution to a life long problem. It's your choice as to what you need.
Problem with reports about HRT is they are usually done by people at the very beginning of the therapy and usually they're really under the psychological/somatic effect that produces the fact that they finally start their way towards transition.
But there do exist people that obtain excessively strong mood swings and some tendency to depression thanks to some HRT regimes. This is normal biological stuff, and possibly related to the reason actually lots of ciswomen are on SSRIs and other anti-depressants (to avoid and cope with this phenomena).
You should ask your specialist to fix your medication, and if needed, talk to a physchiatrist.
Sounds to me your meds are out of whack...Are you still taking HRT, are your levels Ok? When we change things lkike hormones levels it can unexpectedly play havoc with other body systems. I am not an expert but I must say I haven't read much about your type of issues. Think I might be checking in with my Doc on this one.
Good Luck
Liz