Hi folks,
ever since I embraced the fact that I'm trans, I had this feeling of wasted years. I'm 26 years old and I'm hoping that one day, I'll be able to transition and pass. But lately, watching all those transition videos and reading about other's journeys, I feel like the last 26 years of my life were just a waste of time. This feeling is tearing me apart from the inside and I constantly have to question what would have been if I was more courageous and embraced myself sooner. All that time passed and I feel it was for nothing. And the feeling is just unbearable.
Do any of you feel the same? If so, how do you cope with this?
Big hug! I realized I was transgender in my late 40's and I said "Why, oh why didn't I figure this out when I was in my 20's?" You're starting from my dream point. You're going to be fine. You can "what if" things to death, but there's no reward in doing so.
Hugs, Devlyn
Sort of. But I am nearly twice your age. Transitioning at 26 sounds great from my perspective.
I am not trying to make light of your situation. I'm am sure that at 26 you wish you had started at 16. It is okay to feel that way. But if you are ready to transition, also try to focus on transitioning now instead of waiting until you are 36.
"Sooner or later we must give up all hope for a better yesterday."
Dear Sidney,
Don't feel alone, I am 59 and I am only now transitioning. I am so incredibly happy to be doing so. I only occasionally allow myself thoughts like you describe. The thing is, it does no good to worry about it. Why torture yourself with what is done. Take each day and make it positive. Work on getting where you want to get to. The real crime would be to waste potential happiness and time on something that can't be changed. You are so young, if you are wise, you can be yourself for a very long time.
Moni
You are near my time table as far as the transition but under a whole different environment. I knew at 13 but it was an impossible task in the 1960s. I spent until age 22 getting an education which in hindsight generated enough money to pay for all my medical needs as they were all out of pocket. The next 8 years were spend working my way through the medical system finding the limited treatment that was available. Sure I would have liked to transition sooner but it wasn't possible to start until I was 18. As it was, working my way through the medical system burned up every spare cent I could save so with what I knew at the time, it just wasn't possible for me to do any better than I did.
At some point you have to stop living in the past and enjoy the new future you will be living in. I started doing that soon after I went full time.
Dear Sidney,
I'm also in the 55+ group, and am (hopefully) just starting my own transition. When I start to think about all of the "could have been"s, I realize that I am making up a story. I really don't know what might have happened on this question, nor do I really know what might have happened after any of the hypothetical questions I could ask myself. And if I'm going to make up a story, why not make up one that says I'm making the right choice now. For me it's a good exercise in staying in the present, and turns a gloomy moment into a chance to kind of write my own fairy tale.
I also feel like the path I was on got me where I am, even though I never realized it at the time. It took me a few years in Al-Anon to get here, but for all I know I might have been run over by a bus leaving the drug store with my hormones 2, 5 10, 20 or 30 years ago. Try not to sweat the choices you didn't make and just celebrate the one you did! Good luck and congratulations. Sounds like you did the very best you could at each turn. Now that's really something to celebrate!
L
Sidney, it takes all of us, Cis or Trans, time to figure out who we are. Now you may have a pretty good idea of who you are and what you want to do going forward. That's where to focus.
The past is done, frozen, immutable. (Unless you happen to open a wormhole path too close to a star... :) ) We have to work from where that past has put us, now, to where we want to be. Worrying about the 'would have been' and 'could have been' is just spinning your wheels in a massive effort to go nowhere. Don't do that.
The future is where it's at. It's time to build yours.
I'm 54 and just starting my journey in transition. I don't look at any of that time as wasted. Sure I wish I had done it sooner. I am who I am now though. The person I am now is going to lead me to the woman I'll be. I wouldn't have been her otherwise. I know that sounds like philosophical BS, but I really mean it. I love myself today and didn't before. I'll love whoever I become today. We all get here, I hope, when we are ready.
Congratulations on working through this as a young person.
I started at 30 - in 1990. Do I wish that I had started when I was younger? Probably, but there were plenty of practical reasons why I might not have been able to.
Let me put it this way: You should only feel like you wasted your life if you spent most of it sitting on a sofa in your parents' house playing video games and swilling soda when you could have been going to school and building a career.
I did not start transition until the age of 53 but I certainly did not waste all those years. In those years I:
Finished high school.
Got a bachelor's degree.
Got a law degree.
Passed the state bar exam.
Got married twice.
Raised three children to maturity. (lawyer, landscape architect, and lawyer)
Set up my own law office.
And those are just the highlights.
Did I miss out on being a teenage girl when I was a teenager? Mostly. I had subtle little ways of being feminine. Like playing concert flute. And so what if I took a girl to the prom instead of being the girl? There are plenty of clubs out there where I can put on a party dress and dance the night away if I want to.
The only way you waste your life is by refusing to do anything. So get out there and do something.
I prefer not to think of all those years as wasted. Did I learn things that are useful to me now? Absolutely. Did I grow as a person? Certainly. Did I have a bit of fun every now and then, despite being in the wrong presentation? Oh yeah!
I've even been pretty slow to really transition, only now seriously considering HRT, three years after I came out on here as trans, though I'm not quite at that same spot. I have had some laser hair reduction, have a pretty big collection of women's clothes and makeup, and most importantly have mentally transitioned quite a bit. There is no doubt in my mind now that I am transgender. I needed that time, maybe even all that time before coming out on here as well, to decide this was right for me. It's a shame this world makes this much harder than it needs to be, I wouldn't have needed so much time in a perfect world for us, though I'm happy how much it's gotten better in my lifetime...
I know that feeling well Sidney. I realized I was trans when I was 16 but by the time I was 18 I pushed it back down and ignored it. I have days now where I wish so badly that I hadn't done that, and that I had transitioned then. However, I have had some really great life experiences that I wouldn't have had if I had transitioned then. (Had two kids that I adore and love). So maybe look on the brighter side, look at things that you might not have accomplished. If there isn't anything, then just a positive attitude. Worrying over the past won't do you any good. You're taking the first steps in transitioning now, and that is what matters.
Another late bloomer here (age 61). Yes, things might have been different if I had transitioned sooner, and that might have been good or it might have been bad. I wasn't ready back then to face the world as Kathy, and the world wasn't ready for us. It's water under the bridge.
When I was a little boy, I dreamed of being a jet pilot, a firefighter, and a girl. I've gotten to do two out of the three, and I'm fixing to make it a hat trick. That's not bad.
Hello Sidney,
I hear a lot of common themes in these responses. Many of us are older and have a few miles under our belts. All of us have stories to tell. I look at life in a couple of different parts. One part is "who we are". This is all about gender, image, race, education/opportunities, etc. Or stated differently, the eyes that we experience through. The second part is the actual living of life. This starts out as a blank canvas and the actions that we take, the relationships that we experience, the stories and memories that the years lay out are the picture that is painted on that canvas.
The eyes/person that started my life happened to be a guy, now she is a woman. The picture is still developing and is an amazing combination of all of the experiences had by both of me. Would I like it to have it been different, perhaps. But waiting around for the change would have been a true and horrible waste, and the life that I have led, the life that you will be living, is just to precious to waste.
Please forgive the ramblings of an old, full of life, woman. - Anne
I know very well wat your talking about becaus i have it pretty much the same as i am also around the same age. The best way of coping with it would be to not look at the past but look at the future. I still have a lot of times where i am very depressed and start thinking of i only did this or if i knew it then it would be better but it wont do anything you cant change the past.
So try and focus how it wil be in the future at a time when you are able to transition and be happy with who you are. If you have a bad day try and wear (when i have a bad day i will sometime wear an outfit i like and that sometimes cheers me up) or do something you like at that time.
Also with the transition videos not all of them are very young some are but others arent and you can see that no matter what age you are you can transition very well, Especially when you are still in your 20's you can get very good results when you take hormones.
Hope any of it will help you
Hugs, Sena
I get the pang of "D'oohhhh, why didn't I act on this when I was 24/29/19/3/not now?" sometimes, and you know, you gotta own that part of the experience. It sucks when you spend so much time meandering aimlessly through the loosely-constructed jam-session of your adolescence, to finally come up with a good tune after your audience has already walked out. But that's the thing: that tune, that catharsis, that realization of exactly who you were and what you should be doing, that would not have shown up without the 30-minute jam session. We were constructed, both by nature and nurture, to be and behave in a certain way; civilization has historic institutions revolving around its often-antiquated demands from us. It takes a very, very long time to unlearn these things, to pierce through the smoke and actually get a clear view of what's going on inside you.
When I realized I was trans, it hit me like a bolt of lightning. I seriously jumped out of my chair. All that idiosyncratic behavior, all those bizarre whims and rituals and desires that the ebb and flow of daily life so easily kept under the tide, all those suddenly made complete sense. I would have never figured it out if I hadn't met my... well, now ex-girlfriend, and I wouldn't have met her if I hadn't spent so much of my life trying to be a cis-hetero male like God and Country intended.
It's a process, and you can't beat yourself up over it. Some of us just have longer roads than others. Doesn't mean I'm not jealous as ->-bleeped-<- of someone who transitions at 18, but they're going to have their road ahead of them too. It doesn't matter when transition occurs in your life, what does matter is that you have the courage to act on truth as it's revealed to you.
First and foremost, thank you all for your kind words. It's true that without a journey, there would be no traveller and I know that. Only now I realise how pathetic my whining sounds here, for all you friends who never got a chance to seriously consider transitioning in their 20s. Some days , I'm totally fine with my life and others...well, it comes crushing on me like a rock. You see, I have this memory of me when I was maybe 7, I wanted to tell my parents. I got up from bed, went to the living room, opened up the door and stared at my folks for a minute. Finally, they asked what's wrong- I replied with a simple 'nothing'. That night, I promised to myself that either I tell them, or stop torturing myself over it. So I buried a secret for a long time. And now I j7st can't stop blaming myself.
The other thing, of course is that ev3ry day I'm still a man it gets only worse and worse. For each new day there is a fresh new hair. For every morning, there is less hair on my head. Every time I look into a mirror another piece of me is missing and lost forever. I can't wait to start transitioning but on the other hand I still need to get my life on the right track. I hope it won't be too late, since with my physique, my soul vanishes as well.
Quote from: SidneyAldaine on September 06, 2016, 08:34:58 PM
Hi folks,
ever since I embraced the fact that I'm trans, I had this feeling of wasted years. I'm 26 years old and I'm hoping that one day, I'll be able to transition and pass. But lately, watching all those transition videos and reading about other's journeys, I feel like the last 26 years of my life were just a waste of time. This feeling is tearing me apart from the inside and I constantly have to question what would have been if I was more courageous and embraced myself sooner. All that time passed and I feel it was for nothing. And the feeling is just unbearable.
Do any of you feel the same? If so, how do you cope with this?
Now imagine being 64🎈 But I got to raise a couple great kids.
I have a similar feeling, but under a different situation. I think about it far more than I'd like, but I have to keep telling myself that what's done is done. I can't do anything about the past, so chastising myself over it can have only negative effects. Only if I think I can learn something to help me in the future will I actively endeavour to contemplate it.
I'm 26 too, and I understand wher you are coming from, though I spend most of my time thinking of all the positives I had achieved in the passed. I know some people who spend all ther time focusing on the negatives, I will tell you now point blank, they do not live fulfilling lives like I do.
Have you made any strides towards HRT? Even a blocker?
You will feel relieved once you get on them.
You are so very young. You still have lots of time to reach your goals and become
the real you. I did not stop hiding until I was in my mid 50s. I have some regrets
about not having a little more courage but who knows what may have happened
if I had come out in the 70s - and then I would not have my two wonderful
daughters. Need to put the past behind you, not to be forgotten but
should not dominate or damage your ability to move forward.
I can totally relate to a sense of 'wasted years' as I have only recently begun my transition at the age of 49. I do grieve the lost years and sometimes it can be somewhat overwhelming. At those times I find it helpful to concentrate on tomorrow, a future in which I can continue to be simply the 'me' that I hid away for so long.
Hi Sidney. I'm 25 and know the feeling. I sometimes find myself getting bogged down with the feeling that I've wasted so much of my life.
What gets me out of this funk is that I remember that I have some great memories, experiences, and have met some amazing people. If I had made different choices or if I had born in a body I identified with, those memories and experiences would be gone.
Without our pasts, we wouldn't have become the wonderful people we are today.
Hope this will help you
There are a lot of things I regret about not being able to transition early. However, wasted years is not one of them. The years are yours and years are gender neutral. They are only wasted if you let them be.
I was 24 when I transitioned and people at the support group , who were basically all in their 40ies or older , kept telling me how lucky I was to be so young. At that time there was still a ban on GRS for young people, I think the age limit was 21 or maybe even more. So compared to the others I was young, but of course I myself was still whining about not havng had a proper childhood and teenage years. I try to focus on the good parts of those years - much of what I did , I would have done if I was born with the right parts. When I was 7, I was sure I do not want to grow up in a masculine way and get a male puberty. I was thirdgendered in elementary school - not fitting in with anyone. I was at a child psychiatrist for a while, but I never ever dared to speak up that "I want to be a girl". I keep telling myself how stupid that was, because I may have changed things earlier, but then I realize that maybe its not true. Maybe if I would have told the psychiatrist what I was, she would have given me testosterone to cure me or something crazy like that.
So I think now, the big thing that I miss painfully is not having had teenage girl years with trying relationships and love with boys. I am a middle aged woman now and still so very much inexperienced with relationships and sexuality that I basically often rather keep to myself and stay single, and this bugs me most.
I didn't look at this post and kept passing it by because I saw the title and said to myself Oh my God someone messed up their life like I did. I finally took a look to realize it's a young little grasshopper lamenting the first years of life that we all do except for the exceptions that are born in the more understanding present. I'm 65 and just started the path that should of been started 64 years ago. I'm happy now and regretting the 64 years of waste serves no purpose. Cherish what you have.
I'm in my 50's and I have a sense that I wasted many years. Years that I could have lived as my true self. I think about the relationships I could have had. I think about the fun I could have had. It makes me sad. But I know that nothing can change the facts of what my life has been because of the decisions I made years ago.
So be glad you have your today to make decisions before you have more regrets.
Quote from: ChristineRachel on September 10, 2016, 03:09:34 AM
I'm 26 too, and I understand wher you are coming from, though I spend most of my time thinking of all the positives I had achieved in the passed. I know some people who spend all ther time focusing on the negatives, I will tell you now point blank, they do not live fulfilling lives like I do.
Have you made any strides towards HRT? Even a blocker?
You will feel relieved once you get on them.
Unfortunately, no. At least. not yet. You see, in the country I come from its almost impossible to get HRT. There are 2 counsellors dealing with trans issues for the whole republic and people think of trans as freaks. The situation changes slowly, but I can't wait for that so I went to UK. NOw I'm trying to put my life together here, find something with a sense of security, forget the bad and cherish the good memories.. My plan to start with blockers is 2 months from now, if everything goes well.
I speak 4 languages, have 2 degrees, play guitar, write 2 blogs. But up until now, I lacked the purpose in life. I was just floating through it with some bad decisions as well. I'm just afraid that if I were to slip into old tracks, all bad comes with it- depression, doubt, suicide attempts, addictions....
It might not seem as much, but your replies really keep me above the water. Hell, they made my day totally worth it! Also, it's good to know that so many of you with far more life experience decided to walk this path. That alone gives me hope that in the end everything will fall into place and I'll be able to live happily ever after.
Quote from: SidneyAldaine on September 06, 2016, 08:34:58 PM
But lately, watching all those transition videos . . .
That was your 1st mistake. I don't know how many times I have heard trans women start a sentence like that, which usually ends in grief. It's really very common. Comparing yourself to all those Youtube videos of trans women who transition and then end up looking like a Hollywood actress and getting thousands of views? Everyone's transition is magical and unique and I try not to get caught up in
other people's transitions. My hands are quite full with my own transition.
Oh thats great for you, once on a blocker, you have saved yourself, even if you cant get the E right away, withought T the body remains female, you should do great, if you are in the UK now,and said your country, the Republic, are your from Ireland? :o
You seem so talented, it would be a shame to just wander threw life directionless. 2 degrees is pretty amasing, I have none.
Thats wher the trans thing got me, In uni I couldn't focus, and I didn't care about my life, so I messed around, worked odd jobs, but do I regret it? No way no how. I have achieved so much and ultimately it was doing what I did that broke me free from the rail road that is life. It allowed me to move to Switzerland, have a great job, get on HRT, and the few little worrys I may have had just melted away :3
Oh and out of curiosity, what is the 4 languages? :O
*hugs* Christine
4 languages are English, german- haven't spoken for a few yeas, Slovak, Czech. I know some basics from French and Japanese, can understand Polish, if that counts. Perks of multilingual family.
Im no from Ireland. I honestly wish I was, but central European here. Anyway, if you are from Ireland, moved to Switzerland with your friend and work in wine making, that would be perfect! But that would be too much of a coincidence, right?
I was in the same situation ad you were in the uni and im afraid I still might be there. Unable to move or achieve any goal, I should have had my 3rd diploma by now but I messed up and next couple of months will show if I can finally get it or not..
That degree is the last thing I had to finish before closing my 'old' life and turning the page
OMG! :O
How did you know?? Psycic?
Thats exactly what I did. Its has been amasing. :)
Well my fingers are crossed for your degree, then life will realy start moving :3 and blockers :')
Quote from: Jane Emily on September 10, 2016, 11:56:59 PM
That was your 1st mistake. I don't know how many times I have heard trans women start a sentence like that, which usually ends in grief. It's really very common. Comparing yourself to all those Youtube videos of trans women who transition and then end up looking like a Hollywood actress and getting thousands of views? Everyone's transition is magical and unique and I try not to get caught up in other people's transitions. My hands are quite full with my own transition.
Hi Jane,
Actually, I hate those video you mentioned. There are quite a few videos that show ordinary girls and not those Hollywood make up dolls. Those I really like. And you're right, at first I felt lost watching those, but then I realised everybody has their own journey ahead of themselves.
Quote from: ChristineRachel on September 11, 2016, 07:22:35 AM
OMG! :O
How did you know?? Psycic?
Thats exactly what I did. Its has been amasing. :)
Well my fingers are crossed for your degree, then life will realy start moving :3 and blockers :')
OMG!!! I know because your fri3nd has a blog and we did some blogging colab together before. When I p9sted first few trans articles, she messaged me to share her story and yours. She wanted to let me know I'm not alone out there and also, she wanted to tell somebody. You know 😊
I think she might have a different fb account but does Holly Reed ring a bell?
Haha yes, the Blogtober thing! I remember her mentioning this to me, about someone having gender issues are something, she is so cool and genuine, this was before I even came out to her, so it just shows you how genuine she is, I came out in the new year then.
Shes amasing, always helping everyone. That is her surely, Holly.
This is just such a funny coincidence we. How small the world is.
I know some others who were trapped by those transition videos. I think some of them are either exaggerated, edited or even photoshopped to impress others. Taking those as a guideline or build ones own expectations on those is almost bound to be frustrating. I could not do this because I never had a beard, but that would be one of these things - you pick one of the mean old pictures with beard and shaved head and then put up some pictures while transitioning and the very last picture you photoshop or you use great makeup - people will be blown away. But that usually is not how it is - I can only compare my regular pictures before - no beard, long hair - d'oh and then I am having post transition pictures but I am not a makeup fan , so they are not as stunning as they could be. Maybe I should do this once to just prove I can impress people if I want to - lol. Get the makeup done professionally and a photoshoot with just the right angles and then take one of those old photos of me with dreadlocks and all...
But honestly - thats the internet - its almost all snoke and mirrors
Quote from: anjaq on September 11, 2016, 08:02:19 AM
I know some others who were trapped by those transition videos. I think some of them are either exaggerated, edited or even photoshopped to impress others. Taking those as a guideline or build ones own expectations on those is almost bound to be frustrating. I could not do this because I never had a beard, but that would be one of these things - you pick one of the mean old pictures with beard and shaved head and then put up some pictures while transitioning and the very last picture you photoshop or you use great makeup - people will be blown away. But that usually is not how it is - I can only compare my regular pictures before - no beard, long hair - d'oh and then I am having post transition pictures but I am not a makeup fan , so they are not as stunning as they could be. Maybe I should do this once to just prove I can impress people if I want to - lol. Get the makeup done professionally and a photoshoot with just the right angles and then take one of those old photos of me with dreadlocks and all...
But honestly - thats the internet - its almost all snoke and mirrors
I occasionally click on the video when I feel like I can't do it or when I'm really insecure but fr9m my perspective other people see more changes than I do on myself. Anyway, passing and looking like an actress is overrated, in my opinion.
Well for some "passing" may be very important - either for safety reasons or just to live quietly. Looking like an actor is more of a typical female obsession ;)
But that feeling of
Quote from: SidneyAldaine on September 11, 2016, 08:11:12 AM
fr9m my perspective other people see more changes than I do on myself.
Is exactly coming from such videos because they represent in no way an average of how transition goes. They basically are the ones that are so happy that they want to show off and they exxagerate at that even more. So not seeing as much change as those in the videos do is probably going to be the experience of 90% of trans people...
Just like 90% of the women will never reach a body shape even close to that of the models wearing the clothes they just bought from a cataloque.
Sidney, I think we all experience some of those pangs, I can say truly for me the realizations have come when they did and I made the best choices I could and there's not too much to regret.
I recently came to the realization that my maternal parent most likely suffers a sociopathic personality disorder - my sister used to diagnose her as borderline personality but running down a comparison of traits that doesn't fit as well. I've always known what a broken person she can be and I do my best to understand and let go of the fears that resulted from her behaviors.
I have known for as long as I realized I'm trans that getting to that point earlier wasn't in the cards. My family held decidedly rigid views about social roles with gender never questioned and any nonconformity would be taken as queer and that was not a label one wanted attached in my family.
I certainly have some anger around that and yet even had I grown up in the most nurturing family imaginable, the society of the US in the 1960s had no concept of transgender people so there was no language to understand and no support.
I have done lot with my life and continue to. Even looking at more recent years, when I first considered transition the guidelines were still very much locked into a binary presentation and I honestly couldn't have dealt with that. And finally until the last year my daughter wasn't really ready to deal with this change and at 60 another year isn't a big deal to me.
We cannot change what has already passed us by, to view them as wasted years is to me admitting that the past is more important than the future. Each and every day going forward is what we can change, and that should be where our efforts should be centered on. Celebrate the fact that you are where your life is now and strive to make each and every day a little better than the last, to me doing that will make the past less important.
This topic really touched a nerve with me today. I have mostly good days and don't like to dwell on the past nor regret that which I can't change. Today I was just having a one of those days. I started out the way I do most days away from work, got dressed, got made up and feeling pretty good about myself, went out for the day. While out I took a few selfies. Most of the pics came out pretty good but in one photo, I look like my old grandpa in a dress :(
I have to remember that looks are not what this is all about. It's what's inside that really matters.
I started having dysphoric feelings as a pre-teen. I was brought up to be a "manly macho man" and "knew" my feelings were degenerate and wrong. I tried to suppress my feelings by doing studly things like always taking the dare and drinking and drugging to excess. As an adult I added chasing women all the time and doing dangerous jobs for a living. All these things did not change me one bit, they just made me miserable. I was severely depressed and an alcoholic drug addict until two years ago, at the age of 54 I got clean and sober. With sobriety came clear thinking and I realized that all the misery of my adult life was due to my denial of my true feminine self. I'm seeking out a therapist and hope to start HRT soon. I just wish I had realized this early on. I feel I have wasted so much time and potential.
It's never too late, and we can never know what would have been if... but my feeling is that sooner would have been better.
Quote from: TinaW on September 16, 2016, 10:14:06 PM
I was brought up to be a "manly macho man" and "knew" my feelings were degenerate and wrong. I tried to suppress my feelings by doing studly things like always taking the dare and drinking and drugging to excess. As an adult I added chasing women all the time and doing dangerous jobs for a living. All these things did not change me one bit, they just made me miserable.
This sounds awful. Even a normal man who is not made to be a macho guy (if there really are such men) would have been miserable. I think living such a life, following that stereotypical masculine lifepath makes everyone miserable. Thos ethat follow it - if they are men or women - and those that are near who may have to suffer as bystanders.
Oh, this rings a bell... "Do this and that you are a man" it got even that far that my uncle used to grip my arms, shake a little and said wake up, you gotta be the man in this family, act like it! I hope it's behind me now..
Apparently this "bullying people into becoming more manly" works for a while. I would have thought that if this happens, the dysphoria must be getting even worse and one cannot stand it even earlier, but since I had less such pressures and transitioned earlier than those who did, I guess it is the other way round
Hey!! Okay so I know this feeling SO well!!
I was 26 when I first started questioning my gender (after years and years and years of clues I seem to have missed)
I started wearing girls underwear in private and experimenting with makeup and extentions etc. It still took me another 2 years to come out full time and start transition and I was stuck with the belief that even if I did transition I would NEVER pass.
Now I'm stealth and have been for over a year. I just turned 29 and feel more positive about myself than I ever have.
Its hard to beat yourself up over the "missed years" but trust me 26 isn't too late to state, as some of the other women here have said they started 20 years later than you have.
It'll all come right in the end. Promise.
If you ever want to message, feel free :) xxx
Thank you Keira, that means there is a hope and the light at the end of the tunnel :)
It was a little bit different for me.. I knew I wanted to be a girl when I was 7. But at that time, I promised to myself that either I tell my parents, or leave it be, since god probably don't want me to be a girl (christianity stuff, stupid, stupid). That's how I interpreted my existence in this world in my young mind. So I supressed it during my adolescence, all these feelings. I thought I was just experimenting, as they told me. And started to overcompensate will all those manly things. That's why I can's shake the feeling that if I came out at 7... And here we go again. Dwelling on past.
No more.
Thank you. I might message you later, if that's ok.