Hey,
So one of the things I am doing to deal with my dysphoria is growing my hair out. For now that means letting the top grow long and keeping the sides short until the top is long enough. Soon I think I'll be in awkward hair phase (the top is long enough that I have to do something with it, but not long enough to start the sides growing). I have very curly hair (which means it is stubborn especially on the sides). Does anyone have suggestions on how they dealt with awkward hair phase?
A baseball style hat in pink or yellow that identifies you as girl. My hair is about the same place about a month away from putting it in a ponytail. My hair had grown really fast since I started taking estrogen about a month ago. Now if I could just pick some other color than grey. Get a wig.
Hats aren't always appropriate. What I did for work when mine was growing out and too short to stay in a ponytail was slick it back. While not really feminine, at least it's not messy looking, but still longish. Don't bother with gel, just use hairspray, the strongest hold you can find. It will look slicker if it's slightly wet when spraying.
I just let it grow and used lots of hairspray to keep it more or less in place until it got long enough to hang down by its own weight and tuck behind my ears as needed.
It looked kind of bad for a while but it was worth it.
Thanks for the tips all. I've been slicking back for a while and I use a hair wax, which holds better on my hair than any spray or gel I've ever used. My stylist (whom I call my platonic hair girlfriend) described my hair as "aggressive" in terms of how it doesn't like to cooperate. Stick with what works for now I guess.
I let it all grow and used gel until I could tie it back
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I'm at that awkward phase, too. Mine has been growing now for 9 months and it's a bit wavy but not curly plus a ponytail looks still too small.
So, after how many months will it be more manageable? Anybody?
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I also have extremely curly hair. I used a good curling cream to make my curls go into locks. This made my hair appear much shorter, and I kept the short tight curls until I was through that awkward phase, then brushed it out to get extra length.
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Quote from: JessicaSondelli on September 10, 2016, 07:41:40 PM
I'm at that awkward phase, too. Mine has been growing now for 9 months and it's a bit wavy but not curly plus a ponytail looks still too small.
So, after how many months will it be more manageable? Anybody?
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In Dec 14 I had what amounted to a military haircut. It finally became manageable without hairspray about a month ago. So, about 19 months.
Getting the split ends trimmed and using a leave in conditioner for the first time last week helped a lot.
Quote from: Brooke on September 10, 2016, 07:56:10 PM
I also have extremely curly hair. I used a good curling cream to make my curls go into locks. This made my hair appear much shorter, and I kept the short tight curls until I was through that awkward phase, then brushed it out to get extra length.
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What curling cream did you use and if I might ask, what kind of look were you going for with the locks?
(https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTGA8QFU64-BTUPtqHiE_K8FLq0_D2qmN9erTpnZrsxsBuCDY_T)
Not me- but what my hair looks like now- if I put curling cream in, and let it dry naturally/do its own thing (rather than brushing it out).
I was able to get those same tight ringlets when things were in that awkward stage, and it looked like a shorter version of this photo. The cream also gives it that wet and shiny look, which is nice.
The cream I use is
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Furbanmakes.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2014%2F11%2Fcantu-leave-in-conditioner.jpg&hash=983a8548ee3c7a0e018425aaa60a6a692b23ab2f)
They also make an actual curling cream, which is too much for my hair
(https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51Z3aktLcEL.jpg)
My local walgreens carries it, and is only around $5 there
Thank you for the information!
I had a grown out DA for a long time as a guy & used lots of gel to slick it back (like Jax in later episodes of Sons of Anarchy) until I could tie it back in 1989/90.
Kass, am at the same place you are, I am about 3-4 months before long enough, now just looks a mess, I have come to the realization, that I just don't care, I get it as neat as I can and, I have a slight bald spot on top and hair just below my ears, everywhere needs to grow, If we can put up with our dysphoria, we can surely put up with bad hair for a few months. Just try to be at peace with yourself. Samantha
Quote from: SamanthaW on September 11, 2016, 12:31:25 PM
Kass, am at the same place you are, I am about 3-4 months before long enough, now just looks a mess, I have come to the realization, that I just don't care, I get it as neat as I can and, I have a slight bald spot on top and hair just below my ears, everywhere needs to grow, If we can put up with our dysphoria, we can surely put up with bad hair for a few months. Just try to be at peace with yourself. Samantha
Hi Samantha,
If it were just that simple I wouldn't care, looking ugly doesn't bother me that much. However, I do have an office job and career which requires a certain 'respectable' look. But I do try to remain at peace.
Quote from: kasspurple on September 11, 2016, 01:55:37 PM
Hi Samantha,
If it were just that simple I wouldn't care, looking ugly doesn't bother me that much. However, I do have an office job and career which requires a certain 'respectable' look. But I do try to remain at peace.
I do too although I do have a lot of latitude due to the fact that I work for a Dept of Defense Contractor and have been there forever and am known very well.
Nevertheless, I have thought about what might happen if they tell me I have to get a haircut. If they do I'll just come out and if they press the issue I'll transition on the spot.
I know, talk is cheap but I have been thinking about this a lot and have even rehearsed the speech in my mind. LOL
In this case it wouldn't even change much as the women and men all dress the same in khaki pants and a shirt. Still, I hope it doesn't come to that. I'd rather do it all on my own timeline.
I will try Cantu, thanks for the lead.
I have very curly hair and use a leave in conditioner to get ringlets but it gets frizzy in places by the end of the day. With ringlets my hair is on my back :) I am a licensed professional and a Senior Director but I am out and express at work so long hair is just fine.
Before coming out and in the awkward hair phase I got a lot of questions. I was out to HR and my boss so it was fine. A lot of guys said they wished they could grow long hair and how did I get away with it. I would say it is not an issue. Once I was cornered by the assistant director of security ( he use to comment weekly) and I said the president of the company, HR and my boss are fine with my hair. That really made him insane with questions afterward. Later he said he knew something was up :) He became a very strong ally.
One more thing on the cantu. I typically wash my hair 1-2x/week. If you wet the hair, either in shower in spray bottle you should be able to reactivate the cream.
I know when I get up in the morning my hair looks like Kramer from Seinfeld. Spray bottle and maybe a little extra cream to touch up- good to go.
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Honestly I just rocked it however it was. Cis women decide to stop having pixie cuts all the time.
Lots of leave in conditioner and body conditioner because my hair is awful, but there wasn't much I could do about it. And honestly, my hair is still awful, but at least it's shifting into the longer, less awkward kind of awful.
I used a flat iron and rocked the messy look until it was long enough to do more with it. I also had highlights/frosted tips early in the process, but that was 15 years ago ;D
Quote from: kasspurple on September 10, 2016, 03:24:18 PMFor now that means letting the top grow long and keeping the sides short until the top is long enough.
Quote from: kasspurple on September 11, 2016, 01:55:37 PMI do have an office job and career which requires a certain 'respectable' look.
I have to wonder if your job situation is all that restrictive or if it's more your internal prejudices. There's no tyrant stricter than the one inside one's own head. Most businesses these days are relatively tolerant of longer hair on males and females as long it's worn in a very neat manner. It can take a good year or more for very short hair to change it's growth direction, but it needs weight to do so and the only way to do that is to grow it long. Start now.
There many ways to neatly old hair that is growing out. I'd suggest trying one or all to find which work for you: hats, headbands, ponytail holders, hair clips, bobby pins, extra hold styling products, wigs, hairpieces. That should get you started.