I'm a 16 year-old FTM and I'm getting a job soon to try and make enough money not only for college, but for the FTM surgeries, because I'm 100% sure I'm getting them. I've wanted to transition for a while now and I'm just getting prepared.
The problem is, I don't know WHEN to get the surgeries. When would the best time be? During college years, job years after I'm out of college, what would you suggest? I wouldn't be able to work during recovery, would I?
PLUS, I was hoping to transition BEFORE I finish college because I don't want my job associates to know I'm trans.
When did you transition and how good did it go?
When would you suggest I do it?
Welcome to Susan's Place. Each transition is different depending on the needs of the individual. Most of the time the issue is money but in addition you need to meet the requirements of the doctors treating you. Letters from therapist for doctors may take a number of therapist visits and RLE is often a requirement for surgery. Most of the time it takes a minimum of a year to transition but more likely 2 or more years to work through everything. As you are FTM, you will discover more specific information on this in the FTM section of the forum. Let me know if there is anything I can help you with.
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Transitioning during college is a good time because most colleges are a supportive environment for trans people. Also, your professional career hasn't started yet. It's easier to transition in college than on the job, although the latter can be done.
Actually, unless we're talking about phalloplasties, the downtime for the surgeries for most people is not all that extensive. In college you have summer breaks as well so that would help.
As for hormones, the best time is as soon as possible. Your body is changing rapidly now and you want to halt that process.
I knew I was trans at 17, came out and started HRT at 25, had top surgery and a hysterectomy at 26, and will hopefully be done with all the stages of phallo before I'm 29. I transitioned after college after being very professionally established, and I had no issues. If I could go back and transition earlier, I do think college breaks would've been a lot easier for me in terms of scheduling, but insurance was not as friendly at the time and I wouldn't have been able to afford it.
If I were to be in your position now, first:
- I'd start HRT ASAP.
- I'd get my name changed, preferably before graduating high school so that you can apply to college as yourself.
Top surgery:
- If you have insurance or have saved up the money, I'd personally have top surgery on a college winter break or the summer before college if possible. Most surgeons cite their recovery period as between 3-6 weeks. What you'd feel up to doing is really individual. I took off a week for top surgery and then went back to work because I heal quickly, wasn't in pain, and was bored at home. A lot of guys seem to take between 2-4 weeks.
Bottom surgeries:
- You need a hysterectomy 3-6 months in advance of metoidioplasty or phalloplasty. So getting this done earlier is probably a good idea. If it is done laparoscopically, your recovery time will be minimal. I took a long weekend from work (Thurs-Sunday) and went back in on Monday. Some guys need a whole week. Some guys need longer. I would say as long as it is done this way, you could do it over a winter break. If it is done abdominally, you should have it done on a summer break. It is a more invasive surgery and you have much greater limitations.
- For metoidioplasty: This is typically done in 2 stages as long as there are no complications (can be done in 1 stage if you don't want testicular implants). The first stage is the most complicated. I would schedule this for a summer break, ideally as soon as your semester is over. Most surgeons have a 10-20% complication rate with meta, so giving yourself a full 3 months to heal would be best. Most guys I know have gone back to work somewhere between 4-6 weeks after as long as they had minimal complications.
- For phalloplasty: The amount of stages for this depend on the donor site chosen and what all you want done. Like meta, the first stage is the most complicated, and I would again say to schedule at the very beginning of your summer break so that you have as much time as possible to heal. Phalloplasty complication rates are usually 30-40%, and most guys take 6-8 weeks off work.
You're not completely bed ridden during recovery for any of these procedures, but what you'd feel up to doing really depends on you. I don't know what kind of work you'd be doing so I can't really say if you'd be able to do it during recovery. My job enables me to work remotely, so I did that for the week I was home after top surgery and the few days I was out for my hysto. Phallo is much more invasive and taxing, so my plan currently is to take 2 weeks off completely and then work remotely for 2 weeks. At the end of that period, I'll assess where I'm at. From guys I've spoken to, it's pretty reasonable as long as I don't have major complications.
I moved out and started T, working a minimum wage job and having a supportive friend/roommate/partner along the way. I will be going back to college on T and with a male legal name.
T is fairly inexpensive considering the reward, you can almost entirely fully transition on that alone, having your new job pay for that while you go to school