I have a working theory that estrogen kind of makes people "need" to find someone else to talk to, or to crave some kind of verbal contact with people. I came to the idea after I noticed that as a kid - before E intruded my system in adult female levels - I never much needed to talk to people, or really sought them out much to speak to. After many years of having it in the system though I found this nagging idea that I needed to exchange words with people. It's kind of odd because my personality doesn't especially lend itself to desperately seeking people out to speak to. But there's still this odd desire to talk. I live with a cis male who doesn't really have this desire or need, so that's fun. But I do wonder whether E has something to do with it, and whether taking E artificially for a few years really stepped up this odd conflict of not really wanting to socialize but at the same time feeling some need or other to talk. While I think all people need some degree of human contact, I'd say myself I never much needed to before E was in my system and especially after using birth control (which I now no longer do).
Would you say you experienced a change in the amount of socializing or talking that you felt you needed or wanted to do after taking male levels of T?
No real change to mine. I wasn't a talker before and I'm still not.
Quote from: T.K.G.W. on September 23, 2016, 05:33:14 PM
I have a working theory that estrogen kind of makes people "need" to find someone else to talk to, or to crave some kind of verbal contact with people. I came to the idea after I noticed that as a kid - before E intruded my system in adult female levels - I never much needed to talk to people, or really sought them out much to speak to. After many years of having it in the system though I found this nagging idea that I needed to exchange words with people. It's kind of odd because my personality doesn't especially lend itself to desperately seeking people out to speak to. But there's still this odd desire to talk. I live with a cis male who doesn't really have this desire or need, so that's fun. But I do wonder whether E has something to do with it, and whether taking E artificially for a few years really stepped up this odd conflict of not really wanting to socialize but at the same time feeling some need or other to talk. While I think all people need some degree of human contact, I'd say myself I never much needed to before E was in my system and especially after using birth control (which I now no longer do).
Would you say you experienced a change in the amount of socializing or talking that you felt you needed or wanted to do after taking male levels of T?
I'm not on T but i think this is a very interesting theory and i think you could be on to something
i say that because with E in me i'm very withdrawn but always have this urge to want to speak with others and i meet a lot of males who don't seem to have that and seem more quite or withdrawn more then needing to speak.
But it could also just be people being introverted or other things in life who knows.
But i do think it's a big possibility, if i feel it changes (which i hope it doesn't that much) and i ever take T i'll post again sometime and see ^.^ maybe who knows.
Another interesting thread.
Well that could be the case certainly, as usually it is a recognized fact that men don't need to talk about their feelings the way women do. (Or then that's only because of social conditioning, who knows.)
Well I'm most certainly not on T yet so couldn't tell the difference! And I'm so extroverted that I genuinely enjoy people's company and talking in general with anyone so...... ;D! Not sure if that makes me atypical as a guy! But I don't give a flying ****. That's just me! I also like to write to people - and I can write pretty long emails too so...! I just like talking to people, online or in person. Me and my SO can talk for HOURS on end!!! And we always have. I don't like doing stuff by myself (I much, much prefer company doing whatever!!) and feel generally anxious if I don't have enough human interaction. And I've always been like this, even as a kid! So I'm not realistically expecting ->-bleeped-<- to change while on T either ;D!
Hey, even my signature says 'social butterfly' ;D!!! Even if that's usually applied to females.
I made this thread before HRT; a year and a half on I'd say I've learned a couple of things.
One is that I didn't have much socializing at all going on in my life. I think anyone but a hermit would find my location isolating, and the fact I don't live with a talkative person as well, and that all my friends live fairly far away now. Even for the anti-social, there's some amount of socializing needed I guess.
I don't need to talk about my personal stuff/problems any more. Maybe it's because they're being dealt with, maybe it's T. But I find talking about them a bit boring or something I'd be best keeping under the table now.
Also discovered I actually enjoy meeting new people in certain settings and socializing more than I thought I did. I just didn't enjoy it much before because I was probably rabidly anxious or something. Now it's very easy to just shoot the breeze with someone, although to be honest it's better if they're interested in similar things. I'll still get bored very quickly if all they want to talk about is sport or crochet or something.
Quote from: Kylo on March 25, 2018, 01:08:57 PM
Also discovered I actually enjoy meeting new people in certain settings and socializing more than I thought I did. I just didn't enjoy it much before because I was probably rabidly anxious or something. Now it's very easy to just shoot the breeze with someone, although to be honest it's better if they're interested in similar things. I'll still get bored very quickly if all they want to talk about is sport or crochet or something.
Oh, well, good for you things have changed a bit ;D!
Yeah, well, just wanted to add a few points I'd thought about since I asked the question.
If you're that social normally I don't expect you'll see much difference.
I'm not massively social but if I stay cooped up by myself for too long I do eventually just want to get out and speak to someone. You kind of lose your voice if you don't. (I've been doing some voice work lately and noticed how easy it is to lose your flexibility if you don't talk).
Quote from: Kylo on March 25, 2018, 02:27:54 PM
If you're that social normally I don't expect you'll see much difference.
Ha, I'm social by character, yes. But due to my life & its circumstances I've developed a mild case of social anxiety, I think. But nothing insurmountable ;D! Hard to tell how much of that is gender-related - as I'm feeling instantly more social once I got that name changed.
i actually noticed after T that i talk a lot more. i guess that's because i'm more social and confident. i don't mind being recognized or what ever with before, i rather no attention be brought on me. also working in retail helps a lot with social anxiety imo. i was very quiet and closed off before T, before working retail but being thrown into that kind of forces you to be more social. i'm much more extroverted and because of that, i guess i have that "need" to talk to people. however, i still like times i'm alone but i guess everyone does.
I don't think it's the T or E for me. It has fluctuated and changed over the years, but appears to be independent of hormones and have more to do with how isolated I am, how sad/happy I generally am (in terms of mental issues or lack thereof), what people I'm around, other life circumstances, etc.
I have a tendency to withdraw when I'm upset or moody, and not want or enjoy talking to people then unless they have some good practical solutions maybe. I hate trying to explain what I cannot, to only get sympathy in return. So venting or seeking emotional support has never really been my thing. Sometimes I rant, but that's more just to get stuff off my chest and not to get a response.
However when I've been in more happy/joyful/stable periods of my life, I've also been more outgoing and enjoyed socialising. I have a very black and white perspective on being social: either I want complete solitude for months at an end - or I want constant attention, and there's no in between.
Those two moods/states have switched the same whether I've been on or off T, so I think that's just how I am. But your question is interesting nonetheless, and I liked playing with that thought.
I noticed people approach me more than they used to to talk to as well but I think that's down to what I'm doing and possibly that I look masculine as opposed to androgynous (confusing to them) now. I'm into outdoors stuff and especially diving, people come up and talk to me all the time when I'm prepping for that or when I've just finished and I'm ok with that (before I would be dying for them to just leave me alone). It's cool to talk about stuff you're interested in even with total strangers I guess. I like that. I don't feel any sort of nerves when they do whereas before I'd be a bit bugged about any complete stranger coming up to me. I like the feeling of no anxiety, no fear.
Speaking of which I'm getting impatient to get back out there and do more of it, this having to stay away from water thing while my incisions heal is doing my head in.
Quote from: Kylo on April 02, 2018, 09:49:19 AM
I noticed people approach me more than they used to to talk to as well but I think that's down to what I'm doing and possibly that I look masculine as opposed to androgynous (confusing to them) now. I'm into outdoors stuff and especially diving, people come up and talk to me all the time when I'm prepping for that or when I've just finished and I'm ok with that (before I would be dying for them to just leave me alone). It's cool to talk about stuff you're interested in even with total strangers I guess. I like that. I don't feel any sort of nerves when they do whereas before I'd be a bit bugged about any complete stranger coming up to me. I like the feeling of no anxiety, no fear.
Yeah... It seems for many of us the wrong gender, the possibility of getting misgendered and dysphoria etc. just make us not want to interact with people that much. Just after the name change and new binder I'm suddenly up for socializing! I guess being on T plus top surgery (and looking 'right') I might totally get rid of any anxiety or fear. Sounds great :)!
I didn't notice any difference between my natural hormones, being on Estrogen birth control, or being on T in terms of socialization. It had to do more with my own mental state in regards to dysphoria than anything.