Hey guys i have a problem i will tell you and plz take me seriously cause everytime i tell someone they make fun of it and start to call me names and that i'm not a man enough...
ok i met a girl before 2 years we love each other...we were dating from a long time and we decided lately to move to live with each other so we took the first step i rent a small house and now we preparing to move to live with eatch other ...she trust me and she say she never was that happy before like she is now with me and that she feel safe and want to be with me forever...the thing is i love her too and all that but things was easy when we were living separated from eatch other we were seing eatch other like 4 times a week i didn't feel that i have to do something for her i mean we just go places and enjoy our time and then everybody go there house, i 'm not saying i dont want to move with her the thing is i'm so scared cause she expect so many things from me...she dont refer to the fact that i'm trans she treat me just as any other man and that something great but the thing is i have no idea how to protect a woman or how to act around her especially when its 24/24... she trust me and i really dont want her to see me as a coward i dont want her to feel my weakness or less than other men...as a trans guy my childhood was around women i don't have a big bro to tell me how to act or what to do i don' have no idea about how i should act ...even friends i never had one cause i'm trans ...i don't have no idea about men things ( i supposed to but cause im trans i never had a chance to have a friend or the family men to show me those things and teach me how to act ) i always had that fear that if i move with my woman that someone will enter our house to rob us or something or when i'm with her in streets some crazy criminal try to hurt her ( it happened before and i was lucky cause the guy was smaller than me ) i always ask my self how men could do that i always had that fear all the time i asked my self how can guys really do that i mean live in fear 24/24 cause u know its ur job to protect ur woman and the house and i'm only a 5.7 tall guy ( maybe u don't have that feeling cause u guys live in the usa) but i live in algeria and crimes here happen everyday..i mean i will do this anyway and do my best to protect her but i just need some advices from you guys i know all that sound wierd but plz try to take me seriously i need ur help guys and thank you ( btw sorry i know my english is bad )
The best I can think of is keep like a bat close by the bed or maybe even a gun if crime is really that bad. Get boxing lessons too so if something happened while you two were outside the house you could protect her too. Both of you could take the lessons so you know she's safe by herself too
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Something most men are is always alert when not resting. Observe what is going on around you and don't fix on any one thing unless you need to. While you are doing that you need to be questioning yourself "is there an action I should take?" Often the best thing to do is avoid difficulty however you can when in public but in private or public you need to be aware of the needs of your girl and take care of her when needed.
Self defense lessons will not only teach you how to protect yourself but will give you the confidence that you can deal with whatever comes up. When I was younger, my brother and sister constantly wanted to fight with me, often both at the same time and I learned that they might be able to hurt me but if they did, they were going to walk away with damage as well. I still feel this way today and as the result any aggressor would know that I don't fear them. This prevents issues from happening in the first place.
The best thing to do in a relationship is tell her how you are feeling. You may be worrying over nothing.
I started studying martial arts when I was 7 and it's something I've been consistent about most of my life. I'd recommend that. It would not only give you skills to defend yourself, but also help with your self confidence. If she can go too, that's even better.
Legally, I don't know what kind of weapons are available for home defense in Algeria. I know in places that don't allow firearms, bats or sticks (baseball, cricket, hockey, etc.) are fairly popular and not seen as out of place when left around the house. I have a friend who keeps a machete around. Where I live, we can have guns, so I own several. I would say whatever you decide to get, make sure you're comfortable using it. There's no point in purchasing something that you couldn't effectively use.
I'd also say, if you both care about each other, this should be something you can let her know you're concerned about. She may have some ideas on what you could do or try.