I work at Taco Bell, and one of my coworkers is pregnant, and all of my female coworkers seem to be obsessing over it, which is causing me to feel like killing myself. I've attempted suicide before over the fact that I can't carry my own child, and over the last few weeks I have been getting closer and closer to just calling it quits and killing myself, in no small part due to my coworker's constant inconsiderate boasting. Is it possible for me to sue Taco Bell if I do end up losing control again (assuming I survive the attempt)? If so, how do I do that? If not, what can I do to get them to stop?
On a side note, what are some good ways for me to cope with people talking about this that doesn't involve getting drunk or lashing out at people or breaking objects? And don't say something like "well if you're getting drunk all the time you wouldn't be a good mother anyway". I know that. If I had the ability to have my own kids I wouldn't be drinking so much or feeling so angry with myself in the first place. Even so, I need a better to hold myself together. Any tips?
I would assume not, but there are all sorts of court cases which baffle my mind.
Would have to speak to a lawyer, but I don't think being inconsiderate is a crime, especially if they don't know about your mental distress.
You can sue anybody for anything but it's not likely you would win as having babies is a pretty common thing. Admiring somebody who is having a child is a feminine ritual and if you can't enjoy the moment, it would be best for your to avoid it. Reduce your contact as much as possible and see if you can do your work someplace away from the conversation. In addition, you should discuss this with your therapist as this would be difficult to overcome by yourself.
Telling other people to stop talking about a major life transition doesn't address the root problem, which is about how you feel about it. It's okay to be sad/angry about not being able to have kids. Believe it or not, many cis women are infertile and sad and/or angry about it as well. Some women avoid all discussions about pregnancy and kids because it hurts so much. But I've never heard of a lawsuit about workplace discussions.
Sounds like you need to back up and first of all, try to address the situation with coworkers or your shift lead, and if the shift lead is totally unsympathetic/unhelpful then the general manager. Be frank that lots of work time is being taken up by these discussions and you want to come to work to work and be in a calm state of mind. Can they maybe take the baby talk to their break periods? Technically they're not supposed to be regaling coworkers and customers with details while on the clock anyway. I'm sure corporate wouldn't approve. If you were to sue--and I don't think this is actionable but IANAL--you would want to show that you'd worked with the chain of command and for some reason they were unable to or refused to help you.
I think you can bring this stuff up with coworkers without outing yourself if you don't want to. Just getting more and more frustrated every day isn't working, so why not broach the subject?
You could always quit your job but pregnant people are everywhere and it's illegal to fire them just for being pregnant so at some point you are going to have to work on some sort of peace treaty with your dysphoria before it turns you into a social recluse.
I hear you, Blackwater. You are overwhelmed with disappointment about being denied the gift of pregnancy and birthing a baby. You are among your peers here in this forum. We are all living through the exact same experience as you are having, that is, the denial of pregnancy. I won't lie to you; it is a sad and sorry state of affairs. These are the cards that every trans woman on the planet have been dealt.
The life of a transsexual is not without gifts and advantages. For those of us who survive our teens and twenties and into our thirties, we (hopefully) learn to balance out the hardships of being transsexual by recognizing and playing up the benefits.
No one can make another person choose to live. That is a choice we must each make in the privacy of our own minds and hearts. But know this: you are loved! If you kill yourself, many here will weep for you. It is the rarest of young person in our civilization who does not have many people in her life who would not be deeply and adversely affected by the untimely death of that youth. You really are loved. You are one of us. Every time one of us gives up and ends her life, it puts us all on less stable ground; the sadness and suffering that can go along with being transsexual looms larger and more ominous when one of our own chooses death over life.
I promise you that every unhappiness, every struggle, contains the seed of an equivalent or better benefit; this is the law of compensation as described by Ralph Waldo Emerson. And it is absolutely true. It is up to us to identify and nurture that seed of equivalent benefit. Coming together and standing up for each other as we do here in this forum is one excellent way to discover, in time, what potential benefit the adversity holds for each of us personally. And for those who choose to nurture that seed, that is the beginning of recovery from the suffering-of-the-mind that gender dysphoria causes so many of us.
Yo, Blackwaters, as farfetched as it sounds, I love you. You are one of us. We are stronger together than we could ever be individually. Losing you would be a major blow to us all and to our cause of justice and human rights for all.
Just sayin'.
Wow... Miharu thank you very much! I knew there were a lot of people who felt the same way on here but I honestly didn't expect you all to be so supportive. And that doesn't sound far fetched at all! I love you too. All of you! :) Almost everyone on this forum has been very kind and patient and understanding towards me... I'm honestly not quite used to that lol!