Had my first therapist appointment today. Guess what? I am trans. Imagine that. My therapist is great. I really like her. She has no doubts that I am trans, and feels like I am 100% committed to it, didn't question it at all. We did talk about it of course, and she is on board with helping me.
We talked a lot about my current situation with my husband and children. She is working with me to create a plan, one step at a time, to get away from him and out on my own. It is starting with me seeing a regular doctor to get a check up, so I can start getting better physical health. She also want's to see about me getting me on anti depressants/anti anxiety medication. The step after the doctor, is getting a job. She doesn't know much about the legal system down here when it comes to trans people, so she wasn't able to give advice on that end. I am going to be calling a lawyer once I can get myself together and do that.
She want's me to take things slowly, one step at a time, and continue seeing her so we can make progress together.
It is better news than I have had so far. It is progress, albeit slow progress.
She want's me to start emulating one of my male characters that I write when I need to do something that gives me crazy anxiety. She says that helping to manage my anxiety, will help me to no longer feel like it's prisoner, or my husband's, and put me towards being able to work and take care of myself. She was very pleased that I already have goals and know what I want to do.
After I talk to the lawyer today, or tomorrow, or whenever, I will be making my next move possibly. I need to know if me not having a job, AND me being trans, could highly work against me in a custody hearing. I want to refrain from going to court, but I don't know that my husband won't drag me there just to hurt me. So if there is still a high chance of joint custody, despite these things, I am going to talk to my sister in law. Talk to her about me and my kids moving in with her, me getting a job, etc. Then my husband can still see his kids everyday, as I will still be in the same city.
I don't want to move back to my hometown if I can help it. Being there with my mother and sister would really help as far as support goes, but I also would have trouble find a therapist I bet. It is much smaller than the city I am living in now, and far more closed minded. So I think until I have started T, I will stay here. That is all off in the future, so I am not going to worry about it for now.
TX,
Glad to hear your therapy session was helpful! I'm sure that was a big relief.
It sounds like she's laid out a good plan for you to start moving forward. I think taking this kind of "holistic" approach to working through your situation is a good one - in the event that your husband does decide to drag you to court, you'd be able to show that not only have you managed the stress of this situation well, but you've taken on the additional stress of bettering yourself at the same time.
I know you aren't where you hoped you'd be after coming out to your husband, but I do think you're managing it very well. I hope you'll continue to update us on how things are going!
It makes me feel good to hear you have such a good plan and a supportive therapist who is your partner is seeing it happen. You have a very high probability of success! ;D