So at my very first gender therapy appointment a few weeks ago, I immediately requested for my therapist to diagnosis me as having GID and gender dysphoria so that I may qualify to obtain the letter of recommendation to begin HRT. After nearly two hours of this initial consultation, he agreed to this diagnosis, collected any information he would need from me to include in the letter for hormones and asked me if I began searching for endocrinologists on my own yet.
On my second visit, I took the initiative to bring in some documents I received in an email from an endocrinologists' practice that, turns out, my therapist has a good reputation with.:D And this is super awesome and all...but when the heck can we get the ball rollin' here?! >.< I want to ask him more about the letter, but somehow we end up discussing more about my crummy financial status than the letter. But truth be told, from an unbiased point of view of my chicken ->-bleeped-<- life scenario, I think he is right for focusing on this more than the letter because in my situation I cannot even imagine doing HRT where I live. If I become self-sufficient, then HRT will be more of a reality. Other than severe health troubles like dialysis and lupus, my pops is the hugest gatekeeper of all to My Promise Land of Testosterone, so to speak. His exact, one time words, regarding this matter was, "If you ever try to do anything with this stuff, you're outta my house for good..." And I never brought it up since and this was back in July, I think.
But I still can't help and think, "Man, I sure can't wait to not just look man on the outside but to actually be man on the outside also, as I already am man on the inside and always will be and nothing will ever change this.....Only thing left to do now is to bring what's on the inside together, in union and in harmony with the disconnect I have always felt since time began for me, on the surface."
~Nixy~
I had my 15 month appointment today and while blood test results will be a couple of days, two things occurred to me on the 90 minute drive there that indicate things may be on track.
Six months ago my spiro was doubled due to my T being at 120 ng/dl so I have been eagerly awaiting another test. As I was driving I realized that 100% of my body hair minus pubic hair and beard has completely stopped growing within the past few months. A good sign I think, unless I am diseased. LOL
Also, over the holidays I gained 10 lbs due mostly to laziness and eating a lot. Looking at my stats I saw that virtually none of that went to the waist while 3/4 inch went to the breasts and 1.5 inches to the hips. I have since lost 12 lbs so that's all gone again but I think it does show that the hormone balance has finally shifted. It just took a while.
I'll post the actual results in a few days. Hopefully it will be in line with my informal observations.
They did agree to raise my E dose as long as nothing comes back out of line on the blood test.
Sapere Aude
I had my 15 month endo appt yesterday and got the blood test results back already. Everything looked great; sodium was borderline low and potassium was in the normal range. My blood sugar was normal and lower than last time reflecting my new dietary lifestyle. My HRT dosage adjustment last Sept had the intended effect. The numbers below I know are good, but other than the Total Testosterone and Estradiol I don't know the significance of the other numbers. Can anybody help?
TESTOSTERONE, FREE AND TOTAL. 19 ng/dL
Sex Hormone Binding Globulin 128 nmol/L
Testosterone, Free (Calc) 1.3 pg/mL
Testosterone, % Free (Calc) 0.7 % (L)
Estradiol. 152.1 pg/mL
Sapere Aude
It's possible I might be opening a can of worms here. It is not my intention to offend anybody, I'm just trying to find some answers.
I am struggling to come to terms with possibly being transgender. I will have moments when I think I have finally found a way to accept myself as trans and all seems well. Then I would be overcome by guilt and doubt starts to set in and I cannot believe that I am trans, but instead I am suffering some kind of mental illness.
I have been seeing a gender therapist for about 6 months now, and have also just started seeing another therapist to help me deal with my self hatred that also seems to plague me.
Thinking logically, being trans seems to be the best explanation. I just can't seem to bring myself to accept the fact. Each time I have those short periods of thinking I have started to accept myself, I actually do believe that this time I am accepting for real, but it never seems to last. I work in a male dominated environment (100% males). I love my job, and work with a pretty good bunch of guys. I guess that makes me feel like I'm ok being a guy and then the doubts start coming back. There is always this constant feeling of believing I should be a woman, it varies from a slight feeling just lingering in the background to an overwhelming desire to become a woman.
I have started taking some anti depressants hoping they would help reduce some of the dysphoria, but so far they seem to have no effect.
Does anybody else feel this way, and how do you deal with it?
Jayne
It's possible I might be opening a can of worms here. It is not my intention to offend anybody, I'm just trying to find some answers.
I am struggling to come to terms with possibly being transgender. I will have moments when I think I have finally found a way to accept myself as trans and all seems well. Then I would be overcome by guilt and doubt starts to set in and I cannot believe that I am trans, but instead I am suffering some kind of mental illness.
I have been seeing a gender therapist for about 6 months now, and have also just started seeing another therapist to help me deal with my self hatred that also seems to plague me.
Thinking logically, being trans seems to be the best explanation. I just can't seem to bring myself to accept the fact. Each time I have those short periods of thinking I have started to accept myself, I actually do believe that this time I am accepting for real, but it never seems to last. I work in a male dominated environment (100% males). I love my job, and work with a pretty good bunch of guys. I guess that makes me feel like I'm ok being a guy and then the doubts start coming back. There is always this constant feeling of believing I should be a woman, it varies from a slight feeling just lingering in the background to an overwhelming desire to become a woman.
I have started taking some anti depressants hoping they would help reduce some of the dysphoria, but so far they seem to have no effect.
Does anybody else feel this way, and how do you deal with it?
Jayne
It's possible I might be opening a can of worms here. It is not my intention to offend anybody, I'm just trying to find some answers.
I am struggling to come to terms with possibly being transgender. I will have moments when I think I have finally found a way to accept myself as trans and all seems well. Then I would be overcome by guilt and doubt starts to set in and I cannot believe that I am trans, but instead think I am suffering some kind of mental illness.
I have been seeing a gender therapist for about 6 months now, and have also just started seeing another therapist to help me deal with my self hatred that also seems to plague me.
Thinking logically, being trans seems to be the best explanation. I just can't seem to bring myself to accept the fact. Each time I have those short periods of thinking I have started to accept myself, I actually do believe that this time I am accepting for real, but it never seems to last. I work in a male dominated environment (100% males). I love my job, and work with a pretty good bunch of guys. I guess that makes me feel like I'm ok being a guy and then the doubts start coming back. There is always this constant feeling of believing I should be a woman, it varies from a slight feeling just lingering in the background to an overwhelming desire to become a woman.
I have started taking some anti depressants hoping they would help reduce some of the dysphoria, but so far they seem to have no effect.
Does anybody else feel this way, and how do you deal with it?
Jayne
It's possible I might be opening a can of worms here. It is not my intention to offend anybody, I'm just trying to find some answers.
I am struggling to come to terms with possibly being transgender. I will have moments when I think I have finally found a way to accept myself as trans and all seems well. Then I would be overcome by guilt and doubt starts to set in and I cannot believe that I am trans, but instead I am suffering some kind of mental illness.
I have been seeing a gender therapist for about 6 months now, and have also just started seeing another therapist to help me deal with my self hatred that also seems to plague me.
Thinking logically, being trans seems to be the best explanation. I just can't seem to bring myself to accept the fact. Each time I have those short periods of thinking I have started to accept myself, I actually do believe that this time I am accepting for real, but it never seems to last. I work in a male dominated environment (100% males). I love my job, and work with a pretty good bunch of guys. I guess that makes me feel like I'm ok being a guy and then the doubts start coming back. There is always this constant feeling of believing I should be a woman, it varies from a slight feeling just lingering in the background to an overwhelming desire to become a woman.
I have started taking some anti depressants hoping they would help reduce some of the dysphoria, but so far they seem to have no effect.
Does anybody else feel this way, and how do you deal with it?
Jayne
It's possible I might be opening a can of worms here. It is not my intention to offend anybody, I'm just trying to find some answers.
I am struggling to come to terms with possibly being transgender. I will have moments when I think I have finally found a way to accept myself as trans and all seems well. Then I would be overcome by guilt and doubt starts to set in and I cannot believe that I am trans, but instead I am suffering some kind of mental illness.
I have been seeing a gender therapist for about 6 months now, and have also just started seeing another therapist to help me deal with my self hatred that also seems to plague me.
Thinking logically, being trans seems to be the best explanation. I just can't seem to bring myself to accept the fact. Each time I have those short periods of thinking I have started to accept myself, I actually do believe that this time I am accepting for real, but it never seems to last. I work in a male dominated environment (100% males). I love my job, and work with a pretty good bunch of guys. I guess that makes me feel like I'm ok being a guy and then the doubts start coming back. There is always this constant feeling of believing I should be a woman, it varies from a slight feeling just lingering in the background to an overwhelming desire to become a woman.
I have started taking some anti depressants hoping they would help reduce some of the dysphoria, but so far they seem to have no effect.
Does anybody else feel this way, and how do you deal with it?
Jayne
It's possible I might be opening a can of worms here. It is not my intention to offend anybody, I'm just trying to find some answers.
I am struggling to come to terms with possibly being transgender. I will have moments when I think I have finally found a way to accept myself as trans and all seems well. Then I would be overcome by guilt and doubt starts to set in and I cannot believe that I am trans, but instead I am suffering some kind of mental illness.
I have been seeing a gender therapist for about 6 months now, and have also just started seeing another therapist to help me deal with my self hatred that also seems to plague me.
Thinking logically, being trans seems to be the best explanation. I just can't seem to bring myself to accept the fact. Each time I have those short periods of thinking I have started to accept myself, I actually do believe that this time I am accepting for real, but it never seems to last. I work in a male dominated environment (100% males). I love my job, and work with a pretty good bunch of guys. I guess that makes me feel like I'm ok being a guy and then the doubts start coming back. There is always this constant feeling of believing I should be a woman, it varies from a slight feeling just lingering in the background to an overwhelming desire to become a woman.
I have started taking some anti depressants hoping they would help reduce some of the dysphoria, but so far they seem to have no effect.
Does anybody else feel this way, and how do you deal with it?
Jayne
Hi,
Does any body know of a place in Sydney, Australia that provides a makeover service where I could learn how to dress, apply makeup, etc so that I can look ok, that caters to the trans community? I don't have a clue where to begin. I can see myself looking like a clown if I tried to use makeup on my own.
I am very shy and only my wife and therapist know about me being trans. I want to start and try dressing up at home to try and reduce some of the dysphoria. My wife is ok with that, but I would really like some help so that I can try and make myself as passable as I can and not look like a circus clown.
Jayne
Hi,
Does any body know of a place in Sydney, Australia that provides a makeover service where I could learn how to dress, apply makeup, etc so that I can look ok, that caters to the trans community? I don't have a clue where to begin. I can see myself looking like a clown if I tried to use makeup on my own.
I am very shy and only my wife and therapist know about me being trans. I want to start and try dressing up at home to try and reduce some of the dysphoria. My wife is ok with that, but I would really like some help so that I can try and make myself as passable as I can and not look like a circus clown.
Jayne
Hi,
Does any body know of a place in Sydney, Australia that provides a makeover service where I could learn how to dress, apply makeup, etc so that I can look ok, that caters to the trans community? I don't have a clue where to begin. I can see myself looking like a clown if I tried to use makeup on my own.
I am very shy and only my wife and therapist know about me being trans. I want to start and try dressing up at home to try and reduce some of the dysphoria. My wife is ok with that, but I would really like some help so that I can try and make myself as passable as I can and not look like a circus clown.
Jayne
Hi,
Does any body know of a place in Sydney, Australia that provides a makeover service where I could learn how to dress, apply makeup, etc so that I can look ok, that caters to the trans community? I don't have a clue where to begin. I can see myself looking like a clown if I tried to use makeup on my own.
I am very shy and only my wife and therapist know about me being trans. I want to start and try dressing up at home to try and reduce some of the dysphoria. My wife is ok with that, but I would really like some help so that I can try and make myself as passable as I can and not look like a circus clown.
Jayne
Anybody else having trouble creating a new post using Tapatalk on an iPhone? I keep getting an error message. I can post ok using the website.
Jayne
Anybody else having trouble creating a new post using Tapatalk on an iPhone? I keep getting an error message.
"Wrong value type sent to the database.
I can post ok using the website.
Jayne
Anybody else having trouble creating a new post using Tapatalk on an iPhone? I keep getting an error message.
"Wrong value type sent to the database.
Array of integers expected.
I can post ok using the website.
Jayne
Anybody else having trouble creating a new post using Tapatalk on an iPhone? I keep getting this message:
"Wrong value type sent to the database.
Array of integers expected.
(Attachment_list)"
I can post ok using the website.
Jayne
Anybody else having trouble creating a new post using Tapatalk on an iPhone? I keep getting this message:
"Post Error
Wrong value type sent to the database.
Array of integers expected.
(Attachment_list)"
I have no idea what that means.
I can post ok using the website.
Jayne
http://www.cnn.com/2016/03/28/us/georgia-north-carolina-lgbt-bills/index.html
By: Ralph Ellis, CNN
(CNN) Under increasing pressure from major corporations that do business in Georgia, Gov. Nathan Deal announced Monday he will veto a bill that critics say would have curtailed the rights of Georgia's LGBT community.
--------------------------------------------
Some good news to kick off a new week.
Sapere Aude
Hey everyone
I've recently restarted hormones with the intention to feminise further (I've regularly self meddled and had blood work done to stay safe).. I'm now at a stage in life where I both want and need similarly minded folk in my life.
I live in London and am seeking other MtF and Trans friends. I just don't know where to start as I'm neither passable nor confident enough to try.
Anyone out there willing and able to provide me with a shoulder would be appreciated.
Marissa
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Hey everyone
I've recently restarted hormones with the intention to feminise further (I've regularly self meddled and had blood work done to stay safe).. I'm now at a stage in life where I both want and need similarly minded folk in my life.
I live in London and am seeking other MtF and Trans friends. I just don't know where to start as I'm neither passable nor confident enough to try.
Anyone out there willing and able to provide me with a shoulder would be appreciated.
Marissa
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Hey everyone
I've recently restarted hormones with the intention to feminise further (I've regularly self meddled and had blood work done to stay safe).. I'm now at a stage in life where I both want and need similarly minded folk in my life.
I live in London and am seeking other MtF and Trans friends. I just don't know where to start as I'm neither passable nor confident enough to try.
Anyone out there willing and able to provide me with a shoulder would be appreciated.
Marissa
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Hey everyone
I've recently restarted hormones with the intention to feminise further (I've regularly self meddled and had blood work done to stay safe).. I'm now at a stage in life where I both want and need similarly minded folk in my life.
I live in London and am seeking other MtF and Trans friends. I just don't know where to start as I'm neither passable nor confident enough to try.
Anyone out there willing and able to provide me with a shoulder would be appreciated.
Marissa
Hey everyone
I've recently restarted hormones with the intention to feminise further (I've regularly self meddled and had blood work done to stay safe).. I'm now at a stage in life where I both want and need similarly minded folk in my life.
I live in London and am seeking other MtF and Trans friends. I just don't know where to start as I'm neither passable nor confident enough to try.
Anyone out there willing and able to provide me with a shoulder would be appreciated.
Marissa
Hey everyone
I've recently restarted hormones with the intention to feminise further (I've regularly self meddled and had blood work done to stay safe).. I'm now at a stage in life where I both want and need similarly minded folk in my life.
I live in London and am seeking other MtF and Trans friends. I just don't know where to start as I'm neither passable nor confident enough to try.
Anyone out there willing and able to provide me with a shoulder would be appreciated.
Marissa
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Hey everyone
I've recently restarted hormones with the intention to feminise further (I've regularly self meddled and had blood work done to stay safe).. I'm now at a stage in life where I both want and need similarly minded folk in my life.
I live in London and am seeking other MtF and Trans friends. I just don't know where to start as I'm neither passable nor confident enough to try.
Anyone out there willing and able to provide me with a shoulder would be appreciated.
Marissa
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
I am a mid-40s cis female married to a mid-40s male we both thought was only a cross dresser in the early days (known him since 1991 and married since 1993) until he was told by a psychologist in May last year that he meets the criteria for being transgendered.
I'm looking for support potentially for both of us as we are about to separate so things will be more difficult than they already are, but I hope to remain friends with him/her for the sake of our three teenagers etc.
Thanks
Sandy
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I am a mid-40s cis female married to a mid-40s male we both thought was only a cross dresser in the early days (known him since 1991 and married since 1993) until he was told by a psychologist in May last year that he meets the criteria for being transgendered.
I'm looking for support potentially for both of us as we are about to separate so things will be more difficult than they already are, but I hope to remain friends with him/her for the sake of our three teenagers etc.
Thanks
Sandy
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I am a mid-40s cis female married to a mid-40s male we both thought was only a cross dresser in the early days (known him since 1991 and married since 1993) until he was told by a psychologist in May last year that he meets the criteria for being transgendered.
I'm looking for support potentially for both of us as we are about to separate so things will be more difficult than they already are, but I hope to remain friends with him for the sake of our three teenagers etc.
Thanks
Sandy
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I am a mid-40s cis female married to a mid-40s male we both thought was only a cross dresser in the early days. Have known him since 1991 and married since 1993. It was a bit of a shock when he was told by a psychologist in May last year that he meets the criteria for being transgendered.
I'm looking for support potentially for both of us as we are about to separate so things will be more difficult than they already are, but I hope to remain friends with him for the sake of our three teenagers etc.
Thanks
Sandy
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I am a mid-40s cis female married to a mid-40s male we both thought was only a cross dresser in the early days. Have known him since 1991 and married since 1993. It was a bit of a shock when he was told by a psychologist in May last year that he meets the criteria for being transgendered.
I'm looking for support potentially for both of us as we are about to separate so things will be more difficult than they already are, but I hope to remain friends with him for the sake of our three teenagers etc.
Thanks
Sandy
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Just a quick question...im wondering if HRT is going to help with my veiny arms and hands?
What are people's experiences with MtF HRT and veiny arms? Do they show up less? It's something which is quite commonly seen in men, and less so (if at all) in women...
Thanks,
Emily x
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Just a quick question...im wondering if HRT is going to help with my veiny arms and hands?
What are people's experiences with MtF HRT and veiny arms? Do they show up less? It's something which is quite commonly seen in men, and less so (if at all) in women...
Thanks,
Emily x
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Just a quick question...im wondering if HRT is going to help with my veiny arms and hands?
What are people's experiences with MtF HRT and veiny arms? Do they show up less? It's something which is quite commonly seen in men, and less so (if at all) in women...
Thanks,
Emily x
Just a quick question...im wondering if HRT is going to help with my veiny arms and hands?
What are people's experiences with MtF HRT and veiny arms? Do they show up less? It's something which is quite commonly seen in men, and less so (if at all) in women...
Thanks,
Emily