Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: link5019 on September 28, 2016, 01:29:20 PM

Title: Do I fully pass as a woman?
Post by: link5019 on September 28, 2016, 01:29:20 PM
Do I pass to you guys as a female? the past few months, I've been told by strangers I pass very well and some even were shocked to know I was trans. I've never really been misgendered or told I don't pass for the past several months, so today was a first for me when some people said I don't pass, so I wanted a second opinion. It's weird hearing someone say I look like a guy, and honestly, since I haven't heard it for 4 months I'm on the verge of tears but I need a second opinion. So I'm attaching a few facepics here.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FDVc8s50.jpg&hash=682330e6fa6d57b0bc824a7ce788773c1e84b4dc) (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2F4qG0Lo5.jpg&hash=7306903be4eb96b572603ab522d9593cebd60fb5)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FuOXAf4J.jpg&hash=045aa6bcb045a622a8f9042d1747a2e37704b0e3) (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FYh39sAi.jpg&hash=a36ae45a724d471a1fb95b44882ddccbe95e8467)
Title: Re: Do I fully pass as a woman?
Post by: PrincessCrystal on September 28, 2016, 02:54:55 PM
You're getting there!  I'd say you pass from about 6 feet away, but I think I can see some stubble beside your chin.  You should try to deal with that a bit better, because it's about your only givaway as far as I can tell...

Nice hair!
Title: Re: Do I fully pass as a woman?
Post by: link5019 on September 28, 2016, 03:07:25 PM
Quote from: PrincessCrystal on September 28, 2016, 02:54:55 PM
You're getting there!  I'd say you pass from about 6 feet away, but I think I can see some stubble beside your chin.  You should try to deal with that a bit better, because it's about your only givaway as far as I can tell...

Nice hair!
Aww thank you I love my hari. and the stubble isn't usually visible after I shave. I've been trying to get laser done. But honestly, those pictures were taken about a day after I shaved, but I'm definetely working on getting rid of the stupid shadow.
Title: Re: Do I fully pass as a woman?
Post by: Kevinwg on September 28, 2016, 06:45:04 PM
In my opinion at first glance I would say yes, closer inspection  I would say your getting very close
Title: Re: Do I fully pass as a woman?
Post by: link5019 on September 28, 2016, 06:49:18 PM
Quote from: Kevinwg on September 28, 2016, 06:45:04 PM
In my opinion at first glance I would say yes, closer inspection  I would say your getting very close

Guess just give it a few more months  for the closer inspection part
Title: Re: Do I fully pass as a woman?
Post by: autumn08 on September 29, 2016, 04:16:29 AM
If I viewed your pictures without preconceptions, I'm pretty sure I would see a cisgender female.
Title: Re: Do I fully pass as a woman?
Post by: link5019 on September 29, 2016, 10:27:02 AM
Quote from: autumn08 on September 29, 2016, 04:16:29 AM
If I viewed your pictures without preconceptions, I'm pretty sure I would see a cisgender female.
That's good!! And maybe I just need to stop saying I'm trans right out the door then lol. But I don't want to be deceptive either
Title: Re: Do I fully pass as a woman?
Post by: Brianna Deanna on September 29, 2016, 03:31:38 PM
Honey you look like a woman to me
Title: Re: Do I fully pass as a woman?
Post by: link5019 on September 29, 2016, 03:42:57 PM
Quote from: Brianna Deanna on September 29, 2016, 03:31:38 PM
Honey you look like a woman to me
*Hugs* yay thank you <3
Title: Re: Do I fully pass as a woman?
Post by: AnxietyDisord3r on September 30, 2016, 09:39:23 AM
Quote from: link5019 on September 29, 2016, 10:27:02 AM
That's good!! And maybe I just need to stop saying I'm trans right out the door then lol. But I don't want to be deceptive either

Only your lovers and your health care providers need to know you are trans (and not even lovers necessarily, depends on your relationship). You have a medical condition and you are not being deceptive by not disclosing, you are protecting your privacy. Do people with diabetes have to disclose that to everyone they meet? Of course not. They may have to tell supervisors because of needing a break to eat or something like that, but they don't have to wear a badge for the whole world.

I'm out, and that's my choice, but if you pass and being trans isn't the center of your identity, you are not being a bad person by keeping that fact to yourself with casual acquaintances and strangers. Would they tell you they were missing a testicle or had PCOS when you first met? Probably not, right?

PS: some cis people pride themselves on being able to clock trans people, as if it makes them more discerning or something and so by outing yourself you're giving them the chance to ego-trip about how clever they are. Needless to say, this is not how friends ought to treat each other. They've shown their ass around you, what you do next is up to you.  ;)
Title: Re: Do I fully pass as a woman?
Post by: link5019 on September 30, 2016, 06:53:36 PM
Quote from: AnxietyDisord3r on September 30, 2016, 09:39:23 AM
Only your lovers and your health care providers need to know you are trans (and not even lovers necessarily, depends on your relationship). You have a medical condition and you are not being deceptive by not disclosing, you are protecting your privacy. Do people with diabetes have to disclose that to everyone they meet? Of course not. They may have to tell supervisors because of needing a break to eat or something like that, but they don't have to wear a badge for the whole world.

I'm out, and that's my choice, but if you pass and being trans isn't the center of your identity, you are not being a bad person by keeping that fact to yourself with casual acquaintances and strangers. Would they tell you they were missing a testicle or had PCOS when you first met? Probably not, right?

PS: some cis people pride themselves on being able to clock trans people, as if it makes them more discerning or something and so by outing yourself you're giving them the chance to ego-trip about how clever they are. Needless to say, this is not how friends ought to treat each other. They've shown their ass around you, what you do next is up to you.  ;)

that makes a lot of sense. Guess I shouldn't out myself then to random strangers, though at the same time it's like I've been training myself to be up front so people don't get upset when I say it later on.
Title: Re: Do I fully pass as a woman?
Post by: shaunna on October 01, 2016, 07:23:15 AM
yeah i think you pass hun "hug"
Title: Re: Do I fully pass as a woman?
Post by: link5019 on October 01, 2016, 07:59:12 AM
Quote from: shaunna on October 01, 2016, 07:23:15 AM
yeah i think you pass hun "hug"

Hugs thank you ^_^ it seems like I was worried over nothing
Title: Re: Do I fully pass as a woman?
Post by: stephaniec on October 02, 2016, 03:30:01 PM
I wish I could help , but my computer is messed up and all I get of pictures are the negative images. I will say your outline looks fine. You look black and gray though.
Title: Re: Do I fully pass as a woman?
Post by: kelly_aus on October 02, 2016, 04:30:02 PM
I still don't understand how people can say "Yes, you pass." from a couple of pictures.. There's more to it than just appearance. Do you move right? Do you talk right? These are both things that need to be taken in to consideration..

Do you pass? I cant say, I don't know you in person.
Title: Re: Do I fully pass as a woman?
Post by: DawnOday on October 02, 2016, 07:15:11 PM
Are you content with passing or would you prefer to be respected for your decision to be the best you, you can be? Passing to me is just as much a lie as my former life. I don't think I will ever pass per se. But I can be the best me any day of the week whether I wear a dress or a pair of Levi's. I am also a lot older than you so you are in it for the long haul.  Good luck..
Title: Re: Do I fully pass as a woman?
Post by: link5019 on October 03, 2016, 03:41:43 AM
Quote from: kelly_aus on October 02, 2016, 04:30:02 PM
I still don't understand how people can say "Yes, you pass." from a couple of pictures.. There's more to it than just appearance. Do you move right? Do you talk right? These are both things that need to be taken in to consideration..

Do you pass? I cant say, I don't know you in person.

lol yes I talk right, and move right, I eat right, etc. People who know me, know me as this cute, shy, and a bit nerdy girl. I've never been clocked in public where ever I go. Shoping - female, going out to eat - female, just walking around downtown - female.
Title: Re: Do I fully pass as a woman?
Post by: link5019 on October 03, 2016, 03:47:50 AM
Quote from: DawnOday on October 02, 2016, 07:15:11 PM
Are you content with passing or would you prefer to be respected for your decision to be the best you, you can be? Passing to me is just as much a lie as my former life. I don't think I will ever pass per se. But I can be the best me any day of the week whether I wear a dress or a pair of Levi's. I am also a lot older than you so you are in it for the long haul.  Good luck..

I feel that passing isn't a lie for me. I'm a woman. I may have been AMAB, but I'm transitioning to be myself, to be the woman I am. So to pass as a woman isn't a lie to me, because it's who I am, and others being able to see that. People in everyday life don't need to know I'm trans, but those that do know, respect my decision. I don't want people to respect my decision to become a woman, I want them to respect that I am embracing that I am a woman. Passing may not be the most important thing to transition, but for me, it's nice to actually pass for a woman and not get clocked. And if I tell people I'm trans, then that means I trust them enough to not blab to the world.
Title: Re: Do I fully pass as a woman?
Post by: AnxietyDisord3r on October 03, 2016, 04:16:00 AM
Quote from: link5019 on October 03, 2016, 03:47:50 AM
I don't want people to respect my decision to become a woman, I want them to respect that I am embracing that I am a woman.

Exactly.
Title: Re: Do I fully pass as a woman?
Post by: RobinG78 on October 03, 2016, 05:34:21 AM
Bottom line is not if you look or pass as a female but how you feel about your self. Looks aren't everything. I'm not trying to be cold. Have you seen some of the natural born women...Shivers. You look great, but how do you feel?? While i'm still male on the outside i do feel like i'm becoming a female and that has made me feel better on the inside.
Title: Re: Do I fully pass as a woman?
Post by: link5019 on October 03, 2016, 10:07:03 AM
Quote from: RobinG78 on October 03, 2016, 05:34:21 AM
Bottom line is not if you look or pass as a female but how you feel about your self. Looks aren't everything. I'm not trying to be cold. Have you seen some of the natural born women...Shivers. You look great, but how do you feel?? While i'm still male on the outside i do feel like i'm becoming a female and that has made me feel better on the inside.

I feel female inside and out, but I also feel like I'm still cooking and developing, because I am XD and true I've seen some of the natural born women. But I feel great! but I have moments where I don't and then I might freak out a bit before I regain my composure.
Title: Re: Do I fully pass as a woman?
Post by: DawnOday on October 03, 2016, 02:38:48 PM
If you already think you pass, you pass. If you can walk around freely as the person you believe you are and get no snide comments or threats. You pass. I can't do that so I need another approach and to my way of thinking when sex,color,natonal origin are taken out of the equation I win.
Title: Re: Do I fully pass as a woman?
Post by: link5019 on October 03, 2016, 03:58:44 PM
Quote from: DawnOday on October 03, 2016, 02:38:48 PM
If you already think you pass, you pass. If you can walk around freely as the person you believe you are and get no snide comments or threats. You pass. I can't do that so I need another approach and to my way of thinking when sex,color,natonal origin are taken out of the equation I win.

I can walk around freely and be seen as a woman all the time lol so I do pass. I honestly think you pass too
Title: Re: Do I fully pass as a woman?
Post by: kelly_aus on October 03, 2016, 06:51:36 PM
Quote from: link5019 on October 03, 2016, 03:41:43 AM
lol yes I talk right, and move right, I eat right, etc. People who know me, know me as this cute, shy, and a bit nerdy girl. I've never been clocked in public where ever I go. Shoping - female, going out to eat - female, just walking around downtown - female.
Then why ask the question? If it's validation you are looking for, get it from real life, not somewhere known for cheerleaders..
Title: Re: Do I fully pass as a woman?
Post by: link5019 on October 04, 2016, 05:30:03 AM
Quote from: kelly_aus on October 03, 2016, 06:51:36 PM
Then why ask the question? If it's validation you are looking for, get it from real life, not somewhere known for cheerleaders..

I asked the question, because a few days ago someone clocked me. It was online online, and they were kind of being pervy so they were probably just being rude because I wouldn't give them what they wanted, but having that never have happened to me before, I panicked, and freaked out.
Title: Re: Do I fully pass as a woman?
Post by: DaniValentine on October 04, 2016, 01:31:35 PM
I would say no, its quite apparent from your masculine skull/ slanted brow. A new haorstyle to mask that could help.
Title: Re: Do I fully pass as a woman?
Post by: kanad3 on October 04, 2016, 01:36:08 PM
You're getting there.
But if you were gonna post more than one photo, you should have posted different photos, like all the 4 photos are pretty much the same.
Title: Re: Do I fully pass as a woman?
Post by: link5019 on October 04, 2016, 06:29:46 PM
Quote from: DaniValentine on October 04, 2016, 01:31:35 PM
I would say no, its quite apparent from your masculine skull/ slanted brow. A new haorstyle to mask that could help.

My skull is actually not masculine thank you very much. I actually did a comparison and found my skull is closer to a female skull shape than a masculine shape. There is no slanted brow, so I don't know what you're talking about. maybe it's the angle or the lighting, but I'm not seeing it and neither is many other people. Not saying you're wrong, just saying that you're in the minority that is a rarity. I love this hairstyle as many other people do to, and it's never failed me once, so I'm sorry but I'll have to disagree with you. Pictures are not the same as in real life. But literally, I took a side selfie, compared it to other side pictures of women and you couldn't tell the difference at all, So there is literally nothing masculine about the skull, trust me I've spent hours checking just to make sure my skull was feminine.
Title: Re: Do I fully pass as a woman?
Post by: AnxietyDisord3r on October 04, 2016, 07:26:16 PM
Gotta love the internet, eh Link5019? There's always at least one.  :P
Title: Re: Do I fully pass as a woman?
Post by: link5019 on October 05, 2016, 12:54:12 AM
Quote from: AnxietyDisord3r on October 04, 2016, 07:26:16 PM
Gotta love the internet, eh Link5019? There's always at least one.  :P
Yeahhh there is always at least one XD I didn't mean to go of on them I just I spent a lot of time checking to make sure my skull shape and a female skull shape were the same and saying they aren't isnjust weird because I took so much time just to prove they were similar to me
Title: Re: Do I fully pass as a woman?
Post by: charadreemurr on October 05, 2016, 02:50:15 AM
Yes you pass, and you're really pretty  :D
Title: Re: Do I fully pass as a woman?
Post by: link5019 on October 05, 2016, 03:19:25 AM
Quote from: charadreemurr on October 05, 2016, 02:50:15 AM
Yes you pass, and you're really pretty  :D

Aww thank you hun! :) I'm sure you look great too!! :)
Title: Re: Do I fully pass as a woman?
Post by: Jacqueline on October 06, 2016, 10:08:32 PM
Quote from: DaniValentine on October 04, 2016, 01:31:35 PM
I would say no, its quite apparent from your masculine skull/ slanted brow. A new haorstyle to mask that could help.

Sorry to interrupt again. I want to welcome DaniVaentine to the site. Thanks for signing up and joining us.

I also want to share some links with you. They are mostly welcome information and the rules that govern the site. If you have not had a chance to look through them, please take a moment to read the first several stickies:


https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html

Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in.

With warmth,

Joanna