So I'm trans and have a gay boyfriend but he doesn't know it and I'm so scared that it will change our relationship if I tell him. Obviously I have plans to have surgery and such but haven't come that far yet and I really like him.
When and how can I tell him this in the best way possible?
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He doesn't know he's gay or you're trans? That sentence was a little confusing to me
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Quote from: haeden on October 07, 2016, 06:09:15 PM
He doesn't know he's gay or you're trans? That sentence was a little confusing to me
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Sorry I'm not a native speaker. He doesn't know I'm trans
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Ah okay! I was gonna say he's gonna have a lot to tackle this week
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Quote from: haeden on October 07, 2016, 06:42:51 PM
Ah okay! I was gonna say he's gonna have a lot to tackle this week
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Lol XD
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Probably best to just come out and say it. Maybe write him a letter if you're afraid to do it face to face.
Bottom surgery for us isn't easily hidden, both in terms of recovery time and the results. So this isn't something that you could hide indefinitely if surgery is in your plans. Best to just get it over with now.
If he truly values you as a person, it won't make a difference.
Just letting you know, that might shock him a bit and he'd need time to mull it over. Be prepared, as painful as it could be, to end the relationship if he doesnt like that idea and try not to be to hurt, its unfortunate but his attractions are important and it would not be his fault if he wants to move on
Hopefully he's a good guy and at best will accept you are male regardless of need for surgeries etc., and at worst he'll respect you enough not to say anything offensive and quit on good terms. I suggest educating him on the idea of transmen first before telling him that you are one so he can get an idea, grasp, or understanding beforehand
I agree with FTMax and just coming out and saying it be it through a letter, verbally or whatever method you would like to use. You could also try and test the water with different things and get a feel for how he might feel about it, but in the end the only true way of knowing is justing out explaining to him what you need to do and why. How being the way you are now makes you feel and because that what you need to do about it. Use anything and everything your going through to help explain and show him with that. Hugs
Mariah
Thank you so much guys! ❤️
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Quote from: Chewing-Hearts on October 07, 2016, 06:08:10 PM
So I'm trans and have a gay boyfriend but he doesn't know it and I'm so scared that it will change our relationship if I tell him. Obviously I have plans to have surgery and such but haven't come that far yet and I really like him.
When and how can I tell him this in the best way possible?
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Hi
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