How did you imagine yourself as a grownup of your birth gender?
When the truth started to rear it's ugly head, I'd be watching westerns and think, See, it may not be all bad to be a woman. At least you get to be captured by Indians and rescued by sexy cowboys.
So, when I tried to imagine it, I saw myself in the old west, in a frilly dress fluttering my eyelashes at the likes of Black Bart and Jesse James (I love bad boys).
I literally believed I would turn into that when I grew up. I knew it was the 20th century, yet I still believed I would be somehow transported to a land of cattle ranches and gunslingers.
Imagine my surprise upon turning 18, and not a tumbleweed in sight! >:(
I saw myself as a 19th century gentleman with a cane. Then a Thomas Chatterton type attic bound genius. Eventually I settled on this.
*whispers* Birth -sex- .... *tease Nero* :) :)
you mean I have to grow up???? O.O
I always saw myself as that eclectic art teacher everyone loves, with the funky clothes and pins and stuff. :)
As a kid, I imagined that I'd be a famous rock star LOL 8)
I am making my living playing music, so it all turned out OK. You've probably never heard of me though :P
zythyra
Just the pretty girl next door.
Quote from: Lori on November 02, 2007, 09:17:40 AM
Just the pretty girl next door.
Yea, exactly. As a child, I was SO convinced I was going to die, that I had trouble picturing myself as an adult. So I mostly imagined myself as a typical girl of my age at the time, going through whatever girls went through then.
It's really only lately that I've actually been able to imagine, you know, a FUTURE, lol.
And for some insane reason, I see myself as a single mom raising a young son (god knows how I end up with a child, but I do), being absolutely exhausted running around trying to manage both taking care of him and a job (clerical, assistant... not technical)... and loving every second of it.
~Kate~
I never envisioned myself as my birth gender. Even when I tried, I couldn't. In school, I think at about age 11 or 12, we were supposed to write an essay about what we'd be like when we were grown up. I drew a blank on the gender stuff and couldn't see myself as a grown female. Instead, I wrote an essay about the cool technogadgets we'd have when I grew up.
I could see myself as a grown man though. I turned out to be much shorter than I was in my visions :)
Dennis
I tried not to think of it. The closest I came to that was thinking, "I guess it's a good thing I'm a guy because men grow old more gracefully than women." Can you say, "sour grapes?"
Future? What's that :D
I never saw myself as an adult, I could not. It was impossible to accept.
Sarah L.
Professionally I wanted to study the behavior of animals for a very long time. I loved those nature films and wanted to be one of those ethologists (is that the word? I looked it up but I don't know what it is called in English).
Pretty gender-neutral I think.
I didn't think a lot about my personal future. In a rather vague way I imagined that I would marry eventually (since that's what you do when you grow up) and have kids (same reason plus I always liked the thought of having children).
How did I envision myself as a grownup in my birth sex? Believe it or not, as a Texas Ranger (law enforcement, not baseball player). Now don't ask me how a kid growing up in Georgia came up with that one but that was back in the days of the motto "One riot, one Ranger" and before they became just another part of the Texas Department of Public Safety.
Quote from: Nero on November 02, 2007, 05:24:34 AM
...I still believed I would be somehow transported to a land of cattle ranches and gunslingers.
ROFL How do you think I got the nickname Miss Kitty here on Susan's many years ago.
Beverly
Now retired I still do not know what I want to be when I grow up.
i could never picture myself as my birth gender. but when i was little i saw myself as a tall man with a wife and kids. never really could settle on a job though.
WOW, I can't believe this. I have had the same feelings, I never imagined myself as an adult. When I was very little I wanted to be a mommy and thought that I would become one. That was until I was educated to the fact that I was a little boy. Then there were no goals for me. I'm amazed that I have lived this long. All through High School I thought I would be killed in Vietnam. I enlisted and was rejected, I knew a lot of guys who would have given their eye teeth for my classification. After that it was just following the steps that were outlined for men. You know, get married have kids, have a career and be a robot then die. I didn't even think about a career, it just fell into my lap. I'm still kind of that way, I don't know how to handle myself. I have got what I have wished for all my life and I never learned anything or got interested in anything. OK, I'm a little depressed today.
Sheila
How did you imagine yourself as a grownup of your birth gender?
Never! I was working on not being that way since day one...
I don't know. My brain does not work like real peoples' do.
In a way, I saw myself as a housewife, but not overtly conscious of it. I thought I would be a clerk or secretary - still not conscious of gender. And I thought I might be a scientist, for as you all well know, I have a fabulously magnificent mind, however; at the time, I didn't think I was smart enough and I had no idea of how to accomplish it. I also had fantasies of being a social worker and helping people.
When I became a teenager, I wanted to be Tarzan when I finished growing up. And I wanted to be a writer or a musician.
What is strangest of all, my people, is that I am what I felt I was supposed to be; a mild mannered & nice person who works at a job that involves some science (computer science) and some clerical stuff. When I get irritated, I just leave or screw around and nobody bothers me much.
Posted on: November 02, 2007, 04:14:27 PM
I have returned to my starting point. I have no gender. I am happy like when I was a young human. :)
Quote from: Sheila on November 02, 2007, 02:50:48 PM
WOW, I can't believe this. I have had the same feelings, I never imagined myself as an adult. When I was very little I wanted to be a mommy and thought that I would become one. That was until I was educated to the fact that I was a little boy. Then there were no goals for me. I'm amazed that I have lived this long. All through High School I thought I would be killed in Vietnam. I enlisted and was rejected, I knew a lot of guys who would have given their eye teeth for my classification. After that it was just following the steps that were outlined for men. You know, get married have kids, have a career and be a robot then die. I didn't even think about a career, it just fell into my lap. I'm still kind of that way, I don't know how to handle myself. I have got what I have wished for all my life and I never learned anything or got interested in anything. OK, I'm a little depressed today.
Sheila
Hehe I never could believe I would grow up to be anything. I never looked to my future, because I was always planning on taking the easy way out of here for the current day. And still somehow, like you, I'm still around and living :P
id be at the same university, doing the same degree, going onto the same carear in Law Enforcement. oh well, boring old me!
R :police:
Quote from: Rebis on November 02, 2007, 04:16:43 PM
I have returned to my starting point. I have no gender. I am happy like when I was a young human. :)
Reeb, you whacked the nail on the noggin, tis where I am.
I always failed to imagine myself growing up into a woman. Occasionally the little girls who made up my social-set would have conversations about who they would marry and what he'd be like and I'd join in but really the adult man I was imagining was myself, and the adult woman who married him wasn't in the image of his life at all. I spent a lot of time fantasizing about what I'd do when I grew up, but I never visualized myself as a woman.
Quote from: Incubi on November 02, 2007, 12:46:17 PM
Professionally I wanted to study the behavior of animals for a very long time. I loved those nature films and wanted to be one of those ethologists (is that the word? I looked it up but I don't know what it is called in English).
Pretty gender-neutral I think.
Ethologist is the word, and I wanted to do that, too.
Quote from: Pica Pica on November 02, 2007, 05:49:08 PM
Quote from: Rebis on November 02, 2007, 04:16:43 PM
I have returned to my starting point. I have no gender. I am happy like when I was a young human. :)
Reeb, you whacked the nail on the noggin, tis where I am.
Giant baby humans :)
Just to clarify things a bit. My birth gender was female. My birth sex was male. As a my birth sex, I NEVER imagined myself as a grown up; the mere idea of it was very traumatizing and painful. I couldn't even conceive the idea of being "a man" with a deep voice, body hair, a wife and children. That was just too much for me to bear!
Now, as my birth gender, I had many dreams. I'd usually imagine myself to be a princess living in a castle with many servants (yeah, I was a snob even as a little girl. LOL ;D), a handsome prince. I would watch cinderella almost every day. I wanted to be her. I wanted to kiss her prince and wear that glorious dress she wore to the dance. I guess somehow, my dream came rather true... ;) LOL ;D :D
tink :icon_chick:
Quote from: Tink on November 02, 2007, 10:20:03 PM
I'd usually imagine myself to be a princess living in a castle with many servants (yeah, I was a snob even as a little girl. LOL ;D), a handsome prince. I would watch cinderella almost every day. I wanted to be her. I wanted to kiss her prince and wear that glorious dress she wore to the dance. I guess somehow, my dream came rather true... ;) LOL ;D :D
tink :icon_chick:
lmao :laugh: I dream I'm a prince all da time :laugh: ur right on the money princes :laugh: ;)
Quote from: Tink on November 02, 2007, 10:20:03 PM
Just to clarify things a bit. My birth gender was female. My birth sex was male.
Ok. I got it, girls. :laugh:
Quote from: Tink on November 02, 2007, 10:20:03 PM
Now, as my birth gender, I had many dreams. I'd usually imagine myself to be a princess living in a castle with many servants (yeah, I was a snob even as a little girl. LOL ;D), a handsome prince. I would watch cinderella almost every day. I wanted to be her. I wanted to kiss her prince and wear that glorious dress she wore to the dance. I guess somehow, my dream came rather true... ;) LOL ;D :D
tink :icon_chick:
awww I love Cinderella. Mother read that to me every night when I was about 2. My first fairytale. Also kind of has connotations for today, too.
i think i saw a job, and an education, but i certainly didnt see a man, my subcionsious never allowed me to think of wife, kids, etc, girls dont have wives do they?
R :police:
Quote from: Rachael on November 03, 2007, 09:09:20 AM
i think i saw a job, and an education, but i certainly didnt see a man, my subcionsious never allowed me to think of wife, kids, etc, girls dont have wives do they?
R :police:
That's odd. Even though I could see myself doing things, I never saw myself with a family. How could I imagine a spouse as a child? There is no opposite of me.
Quote from: Rebis on November 03, 2007, 09:39:35 AM
There is no opposite of me.
Silly person. There is no opposite of anyone, and you wouldn't like it if there was one of you. You want your
apposite. The one who is strikingly relevant and pertinant to you, well-adapted to you, who fits perfectly right next to you.
QuoteJust to clarify things a bit. My birth gender was female. My birth sex was male. As a my birth sex, I NEVER imagined myself as a grown up; the mere idea of it was very traumatizing and painful. I couldn't even conceive the idea of being "a man" with a deep voice, body hair, a wife and children. That was just too much for me to bear!
Hi, Tink.
I have long said that I am not transsexual M to F. I am transitioning F to F, making the body into F to match the inner me, also F. That is how I see myself.
I knew the career fields that i wanted to enter but I never truly saw myself as a person doing that. I had no notions of family or not.
Wing Walker
Quote from: Doc on November 04, 2007, 03:40:12 PM
Quote from: Rebis on November 03, 2007, 09:39:35 AM
There is no opposite of me.
Silly person. There is no opposite of anyone, and you wouldn't like it if there was one of you. You want your apposite. The one who is strikingly relevant and pertinant to you, well-adapted to you, who fits perfectly right next to you.
Are you available? [/giggle] :laugh:
When I was 6 or 7 I used to pretend being one kind of female character or the other. I had a little buddy, her name was Christine. She went where ever I went. Like when I was playing little mermaid at the beach.
I had many imaginary games I played and even dressed the part, like a princess of the jungle, or queen of the desert dunes which I played-out in the sand pit behind the house. Or how about first woman astronaut on Mars, same sand pit? Of course these pretend games would not have been complete without an exotic critter or two of one kind or another like dragons, dinosaurs, and pteradactyles.
When I was about 10 I imagined what it would be like being a mom with children. Well, at least having 11 children under my roof through the years did materialise, nephews, nieces, three children of my own and 3 foster children around the time that I came out full time. I was looking after a friend's three children while she was undergoing treatment for some problems she was having at the time. I ended up looking after those children for two years.
I love children and there were often enough times I was babysitting for friends on the reservation next door to where I was living at the time. Now I have my soul mate who helps me through the humps and bumps of life. This I like the most, to be loved and cared for and feeling secure. I never had the fortune of having someone care for me. probably not since my mom was alive.
Cindy
As a child I never thought I would ever grow up to be a man. I thought my prayers would be answered and I would wake up one day with a girls body. I thought of that constantly, fantasizing about a genie in a bottle granting me a wish or trading bodies with girls I knew. I just knew it would happen.......
beth
Not so good.
I imagined that I would be in a prison camp. Not for what I did, but for who I was. Bad, somehow. An affront to society. To be killed or at least kept away.
Later, I modified it. I would be a religious hermit.
Tara
Hi Tara
I can identify with some of what your say. All through my childhood I felt like I was not supposed to associate with the grownups, they were like gods and I didn't dare want to upset one of the gods.
When I grew up I thought that those in charge, the people that wear the suits were the gods, and I dared not piss them off, either. I really don't know why I felt like that but I didn't come to realize that there really weren't any gods, that they are only people like the rest of us who bled the same color blood we did.
Needless to say I had a poor self image and sometimes I felt felt so alone, like an alien from another planet. I had a tendency to speak tentatively to people and most times I would get talked over like I wasn't there. That can be very annoying.
Cindy