Hi all!
I start HRT in a couple months - I have read in a couple places that it is possible, after taking hormones for a while, that your sexual orientation may shift in response. For example, somebody such as myself who is attracted primarily to women may, in time, become more and more attracted to men. I am not opposed to this eventuality...I have occasional fantasies about being "taken" by a man, probably because it is generally a large part of being an average woman. However, I am not really attracted to men in general. I do not find myself checking them out, although a particular part or two that I do not like on myself does seem to "work" on others.
Upon re-reading this....geez, I seem like I am pretty confused all the way around. Perhaps the reason I am asking this is that I may be bisexual instead of simply being attracted to women? Anyway, does anybody have any experience with sexual orientation shifting on hormones or any info regarding it? Thanks!
Alyssa
Hello EmilyAlyssa,
it's axiomatic that people are different and we change with time. I would like to take a moment to address your post and situation because, like you, I was convinced I was going to be with girls after transition.
Very quick background as setup: Over the course of transition, I had two gender transition therapists with whom I got into more that a few quick sessions. Without getting into the weeds, let me describe them--one during pre-op (a decent guy) to help me navigate family and career, and another therapist many years post-op (a knowledgeable woman) to deal with my persistent heterosexual curiosity. I cannot say enough good things about these two individuals--they literally save my life.
It was the woman who said in our very first session, "You know, you were raised to be a lesbian." She then point out that if my core identity was female, then everything that was done by my parents, authority figures, and society was steering me in the lesbian direction. I thought to myself when she said that, "she for me!" meaning that she was hired. I had though that too. In contradistinction to her, months earlier I had seen a "lesbian therapist" who practically ran from the room when I suggested as much. All she could focus on was my "male socialization" and as much as I tried to disabuse her of her of that, she remained stuck in her fantasy and after six visits I went away feeling I had wasted my money.
However, the new therapist nailed it the first session. What girl wouldn't be messed up if she was raised lesbian by society? And if I deviated from lesbianism, I would be punished. Talk about a homosexual agenda!
Now to the hormones. For all the insight that therapist had, she pooh-poohed it when I mentioned that I believed the estrogen had begun to shift my orientation. The first time with a guy (and I kept my narrative closed) was a kind of grand experiment--a getaway weekend to a fancy destination that ended up being all but a honeymoon. (Sorry, I was making up for lost experiences and this fit in nicely.) But having been with a guy who saw me as nothing other than my real self, I had a lot to think about. Men made love differently than women did, and "sorry" to say, they are much better at it than women are, at least in my limited experience in sleeping with other dykes who happened cis.
For reasons that I will not go into here I increased my IM estrogen levels under a doctor's care (in Tijuana Mexico) to pregnancy levels for about nine months. This spun my head. My therapist laughed that off. It was "proven," she said, that orientation is not changed by hormones. "Gay men were given testosterone and they did not become straight. They become hornier and still wanted to be with men."
But what about trans-teens who have an on board T factory? To take the analogy further, what if the girl who is raised lesbian is given (in effect E-blocker--she has no E production to speak of) and is subjected to T in massive amounts? Unopposed. Her brain as a teen is washed in T and her body morphs and all the time she'd being raised lesbian by society and any attempts at femininity are tamped down but good. And T makes you "hornier than Henry." And desire for what is female and access to another woman is a perfect storm for getting naked and playing doctor. And heck, maybe by being with a woman I will be "cured" of GD? This then progresses to getting married to a woman. Having kids with a woman. Taking on a manly job, yah-ta-tah, it's a pattern not unfamiliar to anyone who has been in the trans community for any time. And for the trans men, I suspect it's ships passing in the night. They went through the trip in the other direction.
Ah but now! Post-op. No on board T. Estrogen floods the brain for the first time like that monolith on the Moon in 2001 A Space Odyssey when the sun directly hits the black slab for the first time in millions of years and the screech is deafening.
Add to all that, guys start treating you really well--at least when they are on the hunt for a date. And as my therapist said, "The world is designed for heterosexuals." Just take one step and it's just a short step into a mirror world where all the familiar forms apply, except I am now doing "everything backwards and in high heels," for those who remember the quote about Ginger Rogers.
Was it the estrogen? Was it the social treatment? Was it the familiarity with straight life?
Last thing. The man who was my therapist during my pre-op phase was married to a woman who was (is) an MD psychiatrist and after I was no longer a patient, we met socially. The psychiatrist and I hit it off and a few times we had lunch or dinner together. She said something to me that I am remembering now as I write this. "Straight is straight. If you were straight before, you'll end up straight afterwards."
Ha-ha! I blew that off. What did she know!? I guess a lot more than I gave her credit for.
Count me in among those who've felt the switch flip. Or did it? As Virginia's MD psychiatrist suggested, sometimes it's "you're straight before and straight afterwards." It's all kind of in how you frame it.
Or, maybe, I've always been pansexual, with a decided tilt towards heteroflexibility. After all, I slept with a few men back in my late teens and into my mid-twenties, but a few men is a few compared to many women. I primarily had women for lovers. In large part because this is where I found emotional resonance. And it's not like I was getting into relationships based on physical attraction -- rather, I developed physical attraction after the emotional attraction kicked in. (Demisexual? Hmm.) Only one guy was a long-term lover, but that was sporadic at best, we were primarily best friends with like three or four experiences have sex together. (He was not pleased when I transitioned, as he had some very deep-seated repressed misogyny for baggage).
It was "the stolen kiss" from a man, barely six weeks before SRS, that showed me I had new inclinations, or maybe they were old inclinations that I was now on the cusp of pursuing because I was just about positioned to pursue them as my true self. Anyways, I felt flushed and giddy and very much hoping I could go much further. I couldn't with him -- the excuses for delaying sex were properly identified as excuses, which turned into a messy conversation that included coming out, and then there was no more interest from that quarter (until, ironically, I was a couple months post-op, when he called hoping his "mistake" in dumping me could be forgiven, but alas for him such forgiveness was not forthcoming).
What's equally interesting is that during transition I became kind of... asexual? Or ensconced in a form of celibacy? It's not that I didn't had periods of feeling aroused, it's just that the deeper I got into transition, the more the way that arousal necessarily manifested itself became deeply repulsive, inducing all kinds of horrible dysphoria. Hormones were a blessing, because they certainly tamped down some of that response, but not entirely. Regardless, for a good two years I wanted nothing to do with sex, and never had any.
Today, fifteen+ years down the line, I'm primarily attracted to men, and certainly prefer having sex with them. I did have some encounters with other women of transition, which were short lived. And while on vacation last spring, I did fool around with a stunning young woman over twelve years younger than me, an ostensible "bisexual" but she too was primarily interested in men and actually ended up playing matchmaker, hooking me up with a couple other fellows more my age, while she and I settled into an easy friendship.
That said, there have been a couple charismatic women I've gotten to know the past couple months that I'd be happy to have kinky sex with. And probably a half-dozen more men, come to think of it.
In the end, I'm glad my pre-transition relationship came to a screeching halt after "the stolen kiss" because I ultimately owed it to myself to explore my sexuality anew, and it just would have been much more honest and smooth if I'd just said as much earlier in the throes of my transition when I began to suspect that was the case. Because I'd been told pretty much the same about "starting hormones" and my response at the time was, "I don't think that's the case with me," while deep down inside I thought, "but if that ends up being the deal, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it."
I'm just glad I was ultimately open minded about it, because my sexuality today makes me very, very happy.
I've noticed that although I find women to be perfect for me, I really love the fabled "safety" and chivalry a man can offer. I am very blessed to have a female partner who is strong and willing to accommodate my femininity (I've become the more feminine of the two of us since transition). She is protective and amazingly capable, so she checks all the boxes in my needs list.
After I started taking hormones I became more and more sensitive to men's "scent" - their musky pheromone smell. Frankly I find it repulsive, at first I thought it was nasty BO but came to realize it was common among all men. That sensitivity continues.
I used to question my sexuality prior to transition, but now I can't imagine trying to have a relationship with a man, anything other than a quick and safe fling maybe. So in essence I think that hormones might have killed my desire for men rather than strengthening it.
Oh goddess, the "Hormones changed my sexual preference" claims that persist around here..
Hormones will not change your sexual preference. Not even in the slightest - they just don't work that way. There's no science to support the idea and the idea also goes against the proven evidence of those that have tried to modify sexual preference using hormones - they failed.
Does sexual preference change during transition? Certainly seems to, however, my belief, based on my own experiences and from having talked to several medical professionals, leads me to believe that what happens is that people relax a little and find out through self-discovery who and what they really are - this includes sexual preference..
I was ashamed that I really like to be with guys. My first partner was a male and we saw each other through High School. I had male partners in College. Then I tried to conform and I forced myself to be with a woman. When I started to transition I just gave up on the façade.
Hormones created a lot of emotion. Transition caused me to get in tough with myself.
I think the question definitely merits discussion, mainly because there is a great deal of nuance in how the introduction of estrogen influences a person's feelings about themselves and others, both physically and emotionally.
Quote from: kelly_aus on October 17, 2016, 03:40:42 PM
Oh goddess, the "Hormones changed my sexual preference" claims that persist around here..
Hormones will not change your sexual preference. Not even in the slightest - they just don't work that way. There's no science to support the idea and the idea also goes against the proven evidence of those that have tried to modify sexual preference using hormones - they failed.
Quote from: kelly_aus on October 17, 2016, 03:40:42 PM
Hormones will not change your sexual preference. Not even in the slightest - they just don't work that way. There's no science to support the idea and the idea also goes against the proven evidence of those that have tried to modify sexual preference using hormones - they failed.
Wow! There are accounts of hormones doing exactly that. Sounds like the scientific theory you cited may not hold water is every case. Perhaps in your case, they did not. In other people, the results were different. Maybe?
Addendum: Let me add a bit here. The "relaxation" theory occurs when hormones hit because we relax into heterosexuality and you base this on your own experience. Ok--I would like to learn more about that. You have your experience and I have mine. I would like to hear your frank opinion on how your sex-object remained fixed despite hormones and how you experienced it.
Insofar as medical professionals, did any of them grow up with two different hormonal washes and two puberties and were they raised in the opposite gender. Perhaps if the medical professionals are trans.
I think the hurdle that has to be cleared is in trying to prove a negative. We only imagine it, just like we only imagine we are in the wrong bodies when "science" says otherwise. And yet, all us on the forum pretty much take each other's words for it that that is the case. But when I say my orientation shifted as part of transition and link it to that hormonal event, my testimony is now suspect.
Quote from: kelly_aus on October 17, 2016, 03:40:42 PM
Oh goddess, the "Hormones changed my sexual preference" claims that persist around here..
Hormones will not change your sexual preference. Not even in the slightest - they just don't work that way. There's no science to support the idea and the idea also goes against the proven evidence of those that have tried to modify sexual preference using hormones - they failed.
Does sexual preference change during transition? Certainly seems to, however, my belief, based on my own experiences and from having talked to several medical professionals, leads me to believe that what happens is that people relax a little and find out through self-discovery who and what they really are - this includes sexual preference..
I never had any attraction to men before I started to transition. None. Zero. The very idea of being with a man repulsed me. I figured when I transitioned, I would be a lesbian.
One year after starting HRT, I find men interesting, and some even sexy. I have a romantic, but so far non-sexual relationship with a man now (I am pre-op). He is very sweet to me, and I am delighted to be his girl.
My beliefs were like yours - hormones do not change sexuality. So how do I explain my behavior? Well, something Virginia Hall said was quite apropos:
Quote from: Virginia Hall on October 17, 2016, 10:49:10 AM
"Straight is straight. If you were straight before, you'll end up straight afterwards."
I think she's right. I was a heterosexual male, and I am becoming a heterosexual female. Does that mean I am preserving my sexuality to match my gender changing my sexuality to match my gender?
With kindness,
Terri
Virginia, you are simply amazing. I have never thought of it that way. The thing is, it seemed peculiarly incongruous that I find myself attracted to women, but my most intense "fantasies" are with a male partner. I definitely think you may be onto something. The "if you were straight before" line rings true as well...I cannot generally envision sleeping with a man as a man, but as a woman I seem to have no issue. Thank you for giving me so much more to think about!
Sophia, thank you so much for the honest answer. It is so refreshing to know I am not alone in this. I have a sneaky suspicion I know which way this will go in the end. It may be a large part of my attraction to women is colored by wanting to BE them? Those are the women I am attracted to...the ones I am envious of.
Thank you everybody for the replies! They certainly have me approaching this thing in a new way. I thought for a while of experimenting with a man (haven't since I was a teen) just to see what my reaction would truly be, but I think I will let whatever happens happen organically and not push it.
I'm one that believes that sexual orientation is fluid and can change with different factors in one's life. I identify as bisexual because I'm attracted to males and females; albeit, I'm attracted more to females than males. I'm a bit picky about males because I've been around them my entire life and have played the part for most of my life. I understand how they think, but not entirely because I still don't get every nuance that comes my way. Females, on the other hand... I'm in love with the female form and function. I want to have my own female form and I will get there, eventually.
Regardless, I used to think of myself as a straight male, but only because I fought my feelings for years before coming out to my wife as bisexual. She thought she was losing a battle she didn't know how to fight. I really enjoyed her efforts, but I've never been unfaithful and never steered away, so I was confused as to what she was trying to prove, at the time. No matter. The misconception that people have about bisexuals is that we lust after every single piece of A we encounter, but nothing could be further from the truth. At least in my case. I leave my fantasies in my head and don't think of them when with my wife. She's all I ever wanted. Too bad she only wants to be friends now. But, I'm happy if she's happy, so... meh.
If you feel like your sexual orientation is changing, then explore it and see if it's what you think it is. If it doesn't do it for you, then you at least tried it. Exploration helps with many things that I don't understand, so I hope it would do the same for you. Best of luck to you! ;)
Thank you Siobhan. I agree with the experimentation. I don't think I am going to super-actively seek it out but I will not simply bypass opportunities anymore either. I am already coming out on the other side of major repression making this transition. This is looking more and more like another aspect of that repression.
Quote from: EmilyAlyssa on October 17, 2016, 11:00:17 PM
The thing is, it seemed peculiarly incongruous that I find myself attracted to women, but my most intense "fantasies" are with a male partner.
Count me as one who experienced the flip. I was never attracted to men. However, pre-transition I did have some sex with women and the only way I could get myself excited enough, no matter how gorgeous I found the woman, was to imagine that I was her. So in my fantasies, I was a woman having heterosexual sex with a man. Because of that, maybe it was to be expected that I'd then be attracted to men post-transition.
Did my sexual orientation change? I guess it depends on how you define it. Sexual orientation is:
* The gender of the people you are sexually attracted to. (male, female, other)
* Being attracted to the same sex or "opposite" sex. (male/female, male/male, female/female, with all the gender spectrum variations)
And when we look at how to define orientation, we realize how inadequate the discussion is in simple cis terms.
I was heterosexual before and I'm (mostly) heterosexual now. Did my orientation change?
I was attracted to women before and I'm (mostly) attracted to men now. Did my orientation change?
Someone get back to me when the cis folks figure it out and tell us what's what. :P
Quote from: EmilyAlyssa on October 18, 2016, 07:24:51 AM
Thank you Siobhan. I agree with the experimentation. I don't think I am going to super-actively seek it out but I will not simply bypass opportunities anymore either. I am already coming out on the other side of major repression making this transition. This is looking more and more like another aspect of that repression.
Nah. I never said go crazy, just to do as you will. Exploring, in my personal opinion, is best done organically and never forced or rushed. You've got the right idea, from my perspective. :)
It was same with me I was attracted to both sexs then once on t for few.months I turned to only liking girls
Sent from my Moto G Play using Tapatalk
Physically and emotionally attracted to women before, still attracted to only women after nearing 9 months hrt now. I have no interest in men at all.
Quote from: kelly_aus on October 17, 2016, 03:40:42 PM
Oh goddess, the "Hormones changed my sexual preference" claims that persist around here..
Hormones will not change your sexual preference. Not even in the slightest - they just don't work that way. There's no science to support the idea and the idea also goes against the proven evidence of those that have tried to modify sexual preference using hormones - they failed.
Does sexual preference change during transition? Certainly seems to, however, my belief, based on my own experiences and from having talked to several medical professionals, leads me to believe that what happens is that people relax a little and find out through self-discovery who and what they really are - this includes sexual preference..
I think Kelly is spot on in her assessment. I agree My psychologist put it to me this way. She said she has read the same stuff about experiments around this issue. The results she talked about showed that giving Oestrogen to Lesbians did not make them more attacked to males. Same for homosexual males given T, they didn't suddenly stop looking at men and switch to women. I did ask her for a reference to the study but she it was a very long time ago and her experience also supports this. She claims it is not physically possible. because like out gender our preference is hard wired. Not to say that people can't experiment as they please...but that doesn't change who their core preference is for.
For my experience, I denied all my life that I was anything but hero male...But in my head I always had to be the female in the act otherwise we just wouldn't have been able to have children. It did confuse me a lot when I was younger especially in my early teens. The ironic part is that it actually turns out to be true I am straight. There is part of me that I am still coming to terms with.
It has never been any different for me...but then again this whole sex thing is a bit of a Mystery to me as I can't really see what all the fuss is about...don't get me wrong it is pleasurable to a point. I do think that maybe my response is a little muted compared to most...considering our histories is it any wonder it takes a bit to sort this out in your own head.
Liz
I have to emphasize, much of the cited research was done on cis people.
Second, am I the only one who feels a "jolt" in the days right after estrogen injection? The assertion "nothing" happens is not my experience of it. Right after I give myself the shot--starting an hour or so later, I'm ready to go on the prowl--me, at my age! Sigh!
There is, of course, a political undertow in this thread. The LGB community says orientation is set at birth and maybe they don't like T-people running around saying that their orientation changed. Maybe we can find common ground and go back to what my therapist's wife, the MD psychiatrist who conjectured that in her experience, "If you were straight pre-op, you'll be straight post-op." Maybe the orientation does not change--just the object--so we don't have to duke it out with the LGB. ::)
One thing that my psychologist (a very successful transgender person) discussed with me was the brain/body CRAVING estrogen, like a piece of the puzzle had been missing all of the years leading up to this whole concept of transitioning. That was why I eventually discovered that starting HRT was so fantastic, and frankly to this day I feel a wave of bliss post-injection...as a matter of fact, I worked with my MD to figure out the timing between injections because I was getting moody and bitchy toward the end of my old 2-week cycle.
My point is that the body and mind were not bathing in the correct juices until HRT started. Thus many connections are either enhanced or invented once the estrogen begins, and those may lead to a change in interest/perception/responsiveness.
Mia
Quote from: Mia on October 18, 2016, 05:39:06 PM
My point is that the body and mind were not bathing in the correct juices until HRT started. Thus many connections are either enhanced or invented once the estrogen begins, and those may lead to a change in interest/perception/responsiveness.
Mia
I think we are in heated agreement. >:-)
Quote from: Mia on October 17, 2016, 03:17:34 PM
I've noticed that although I find women to be perfect for me, I really love the fabled "safety" and chivalry a man can offer. I am very blessed to have a female partner who is strong and willing to accommodate my femininity (I've become the more feminine of the two of us since transition). She is protective and amazingly capable, so she checks all the boxes in my needs list.
After I started taking hormones I became more and more sensitive to men's "scent" - their musky pheromone smell. Frankly I find it repulsive, at first I thought it was nasty BO but came to realize it was common among all men. That sensitivity continues.
I used to question my sexuality prior to transition, but now I can't imagine trying to have a relationship with a man, anything other than a quick and safe fling maybe. So in essence I think that hormones might have killed my desire for men rather than strengthening it.
My situation is rather similar concerning the partner that is accommodating, ditto the scent of men being foul, I never questioned my sexuality. I love being with women and would never consider having anything to do with a man. Yeah sure I've wondered what it would be like with a guy but sorry nobody will get anywhere near that. The thought of a man touching me gives me the creeps.
Besides men have wanted me since I was 12 years old so I have quite a bit of experience with men already.
If I were with a man I would feel like I was his prey not his girl.
I don't worry about sex and sexuality much since my libido hit the floor and I am actually really so much happier now that it's virtually gone. A high sex drive can be stressful.
There was a poll I saw a while back, asking trans people if they'd experience a change in their sexual orientation.
I don't remember the exact results, but it was roughly 22% of trans men and 29% of trans women said their orientation had changed.
I've been on HRT for about four and a half months, and I've not noticed any significant change in my orientation. Maybe that will change in future, who knows.
Quote from: Mia on October 17, 2016, 03:17:34 PM
I've noticed that although I find women to be perfect for me, I really love the fabled "safety" and chivalry a man can offer. I am very blessed to have a female partner who is strong and willing to accommodate my femininity (I've become the more feminine of the two of us since transition). She is protective and amazingly capable, so she checks all the boxes in my needs list.
After I started taking hormones I became more and more sensitive to men's "scent" - their musky pheromone smell. Frankly I find it repulsive, at first I thought it was nasty BO but came to realize it was common among all men. That sensitivity continues.
I used to question my sexuality prior to transition, but now I can't imagine trying to have a relationship with a man, anything other than a quick and safe fling maybe. So in essence I think that hormones might have killed my desire for men rather than strengthening it.
So you liked girls before and now like them even more?
Yep. Used to have some interest in men, no more.
Quote from: Rachel Lynn on October 17, 2016, 05:40:46 PM
I was ashamed that I really like to be with guys. My first partner was a male and we saw each other through High School. I had male partners in College. Then I tried to conform and I forced myself to be with a woman. When I started to transition I just gave up on the façade.
Hormones created a lot of emotion. Transition caused me to get in tough with myself.
So just to understand you liked guys before and after transition ?
I was a gay male before transition now I'm a straight female but for some reason lately I'm not that attracted to guys that much. I have never been with a girl before transition and I am STILL not attracted to girls or would want to be with one. But ever since my hormone dose switched I've had a wacky sex drive I either have none or I just feel like masturbating I feel asexual right now? I would love to get back in touch with my male attraction maybe once my hormones level out and my dysphoria goes away because it's for sure a distraction in my sex life (getting SRS soon)
Interesting reading. So this is my experience so far.. I"m a trans woman that likes woman. However, I have been with some men in the past. Although I never felt that attracted to them and usually found it to be a turn off. it's my internal experience with sex in particular that help me figure out I'm trans.
in fantasies I was the girl with a guy, when I was actually with a guy I was more in the role of a woman. although I didn't think of it like that at the time. Now that I'm transitioning my fantasies have changed and are of me as a women with a women. I have thought "it's been a while since I was with a guy maybe I should.." but I have no interest whatsoever in actually doing it. I have even tried to find some guys to meet up with and couldn't bring myself to go thorugh with it.
also, I have started taking testosterone blockers I'm not taking estrogen yet.
Hearing all of your stories and thoughts I think it's more about your internal thoughts and ideas and perhaps changed to them that determine if your sexual orientation will change or not. I have heard it said "thought, not structure is boss" So while hormones will change your bodies I don't think they alone will change your orientation. Rather it would be your own changes in perhaps how you see yourself (after hormones) and how you seee yourself with a partner that may change. That at least has been my experience.
I still highly prefer women. I don't know what it is, but even on the tube yesterday, I could just feel all the blood rushing to my face in blush as I saw an absolutely gorgeous woman... and I couldn't stop. Nearly one year of HRT has done some incredible "magic", but my sexuality hasn't changed a bit.
I like to say prefer because I've never really had anything against men and would be open to dating them, but I haven't come across any of interest to me.
Hm, I saw some possible signs of that, but I'm probably just overthinking it.
I haven't been on it for long enough of a time for that sort of thing to happen.
Quote from: Xirafel on October 26, 2016, 04:14:06 AM
Hm, I saw some possible signs of that, but I'm probably just overthinking it.
I haven't been on it for long enough of a time for that sort of thing to happen.
Good point. I think I was over thinking my sexuality as well. I did read about other people's changing so it made me confused but as time passed now I know it depends on the person. I was attracted to men before and now I am just as much attracted to men the only difference is my sex drive goes up and down.
9 months in on hormones and I am changing a bit. The sex part of my brain is still in total lockdown due to my current genitals but I am definitely changing.
I've always identified as lesbian even before I recognised myself as trans. Anything involving guys was always an immediate turn off. Best porn in world could be ruined by bringing in just one guy.
During sex in the past the only way I could function was with lesbian fantasies shared with my partner.
But I have changed.....
Started small being hugged and complimented by my laser guy making me feel really good. When alone or upset I'd wish I was back in that hug with his arms around me holding me close. I still look forward to every laser session for my hug and his smile. Nothing will ever happen with him but that doesn't lessen how happy seeing him makes me.
Another guy at work I never even interacted with before is very nice to me. Always calls me "Darling" and smiles a lot when we see each other. Treats me like a proper lady but still freely talk about my plans, surgeries and sexuality. He's probably just being nice but I realised if he was to tell me he got a new girlfriend I'd be jealous. I'm defo interested in him for a relationship even without sex.
After talking with my sis giggling like a schoolgirl talking about my crush at work and our chats we kinda agree at the very least I'm flirting with him. Even better I think/hope he's been flirting back.
As for why I don't really care it makes me feel nice.
Same as everything else though go back 2 or more years and tell me about it he'd freak out or call BS on it.
For now I think I'll take a Bi label as I'm defo taking an interest in guys now. Even skirting closer to my sex block with thinking about being kissed by him. I'm still too young to think about sex but I'll grow up soon enough.
Forgot to add I am still with my wife and faithful unless we ever agree to open our relationship.
I'm not on hormones.
My personal experience is that the very fact that discovering I might be trans, and some time later seeing I probably am, and some time later realising I definitely am, has opened my mind regarding my attraction to men. Even before all this, I regarded some of them as handsome (the typical Tom Cruise you know :P). During the process, I realised I liked one of my coworkers, I realised that when I was a child I actually liked a boy at primary school, and recently I even had a "wow who's that guy" moment, to my astonishment. A couple of weeks ago I was looking at videos by Veritasium on youtube and, it's true, I like that guy.
In proportion, it's till 96 girls for every 4 guys so I'm mostly lesbian. Funny because last month I used to answer "97/3" to that question... and remember, not on hormones yet. It's all within our brains.