Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: needhelp on October 24, 2016, 12:55:24 PM

Title: is this a side effect of Dysphoria or something?
Post by: needhelp on October 24, 2016, 12:55:24 PM
Hey there,

For as long as I can remember I've been getting this from people all the time which is starting to piss off the hell out of me.
When I talk, walk, perform any physical action, it seems as for me it feels fine, like if I'm talking at a normal rate, and putting attitude into everything... However, people always have asked why I talk so slow, and move as if I don't care or I'm lazy. And I did not know why everyone would ask me the same, until I saw videos of me playing drums and it's true.. to me for example it might feel as if I'm moving say my head real fast and putting a lot of emotions behind it... but when I see the video it looks so slow.. and as If I'm barely moving (again just as an example)...
Is this something related to the disconnection between our brains and our bodies? Like I have an impression but in reality I don't have much control over my body due to that disconnection? I've tried asking neurologists and everything but all they say is... "can you run at the same rate as someone else, even if it looks slower?"... and I say yes... but still doesn't change the fact that everyone thinks I'm a lazy piece of you know what >.<... I know crazy question but thought there could be a relationship?

Thanks !
Title: Re: is this a side effect of Dysphoria or something?
Post by: JMJW on October 24, 2016, 01:12:11 PM
Could be a depressant you're taking (booze, medication side effect), psychological depression, slow metabolism.

The brain disconnect theory is unlikely.
Title: Re: is this a side effect of Dysphoria or something?
Post by: Elis on October 24, 2016, 01:32:25 PM
Sounds like depression.
Title: Re: is this a side effect of Dysphoria or something?
Post by: needhelp on October 24, 2016, 02:07:34 PM
Does dysphoria cause depression without us even knowing?

Title: Re: is this a side effect of Dysphoria or something?
Post by: JMJW on October 24, 2016, 02:34:09 PM
Absolutely. Many people who are depressed think their circumstances is just how life is. 
Title: Re: is this a side effect of Dysphoria or something?
Post by: Elis on October 24, 2016, 02:52:24 PM
Quote from: needhelp on October 24, 2016, 02:07:34 PM
Does dysphoria cause depression without us even knowing?

Yep. Depression has a way of creeping up on a person. They may not know they're depressed bcos it's how they've always felt.

Btw; the dysphoria may just be a coincidence and not be causing the depression at all. Something to consider.
Title: Re: is this a side effect of Dysphoria or something?
Post by: Sophia Sage on October 24, 2016, 06:04:14 PM
Our internal maps of our bodies don't always accurately reflect what our bodies are actually doing.  And sure, this could be dysphoria related -- reducing our acceptance of external feedback, for example.  But I think it's more general than that.  Golfers, for example, might "feel" their bodies doing a thing -- like keeping the left elbow straight during their swing -- but video evidence proves much to the contrary.

Some "mirror work" might help.  Play the drums in front of a mirror, for example, but rather than relying on your internal proprioception to create a certain objective effect, go strictly by what the mirror says.  When you achieve the desired effect, notice how that actually feels internally.  And then you could, for example, put the mirror away, turn on the video recorder, find that brand new memory of a feeling, and replicated it.  Then look at your feedback and see if it stuck.

Quite often, the feedback of other people -- especially when it's near a consensus -- is more accurate than our internal perceptions, at least when it comes to our externalized performances.