I haven't the slightest idea why so many people stare at me. I hope its because I'm the most beautiful woman they've ever seen all thought I kind of doubt it. It really is starting to drive me insane though. For one thing not knowing why whether it being a trans thing or a beauty thing. I mean I think I look all right , but honestly it's driving me nuts. Or it could be paranoia . Any one else feel super sensitive to the looks of others.
Oh, heck, I constantly have that feeling, but I suspect I'm not actually being stared at. It's just someone dining at a table gazing into the distance in my general direction, or the dog walker just trying to make sure I don't pester her charges, or some guy just trying to cross the street. Very few people are playing "Spot the T*" out there, and seeing someone random, the first thought they have is rarely "Oh, a transgender person!"
Now, I DID get stared at today, and I found it mighty creepy. I was walking west, and a car traveling east slowed way down, and I saw the driver, a heavyset man in his 40s, staring at me, almost stopping his car as he turned his head back to watch me. I spotted him and stared back. Creep might have been eyeing me to try a grab for the purse, for all I know, but... Creep!
Yuck!
In 99% of social situations I am the tallest person in the room and that alone warrants stares from strangers, so I am used to it. It's the comments and whispers after the stares that bother me. I had severe acne as a teen and people can be incredibly cruel, they are also completely ignorant.
QuoteCreep might have been eyeing me to try a grab for the purse, for all I know, but... Creep!
Welcome to the world of womanhood, Michelle. Creeps abound and now you're on their radar. :( :(
stephaniec , everyones thinking " gosh that older gals pretty hot" . honestly try not to let it get you down. if the villagers aren't lighting their torches and picking up pitchforks , no worries. YOUR doing great and looking fab ! jessica.
Quote from: lostcharlie on November 05, 2016, 07:25:01 PM
stephaniec , everyones thinking " gosh that older gals pretty hot" . honestly try not to let it get you down. if the villagers aren't lighting their torches and picking up pitchforks , no worries. YOUR doing great and looking fab ! jessica.
thanks, I'm in a collage town so the torches will be carried by Northwestern students.
stephaniec, I may be wrong but kind of figure the collage age crowd would tend to be fairly tolerant. be glad you don't live in the redneck bible belt like some of us : ) . like I said earlier hang in and try not to let the stuff get you down. I remember your avatar pics when I first started hanging out here and I could see a certain sadness ( may not be the right word ) in your face. I look at your avatars now and the change is incredible . I don't see the sadness , I see a happiness and I suspect someone who is a lot happier and at a greater peace with themselves. best wishes to you always, jessica.
I feel like it happens to me on certain days. I usually go without makeup, unless something special is going on. It feels like there's a difference in the stares when I'm 1) wearing makeup and know I look nice and 2) just doing something like grocery shopping. I don't know if this is just me feeling more confident on certain days or if people are actually looking at me differently. My partner usually doesn't notice the stares, but I can feel them and when I check I'm usually right.
It absolutely does drive me nuts though, regardless of whatever reason they feel they have for staring. It usually ruins my confidence if I'm without makeup, at least until I take some time for me (to pamper myself) or take a little extra time to put on makeup when I go out next.
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Quote from: lostcharlie on November 05, 2016, 07:56:22 PM
stephaniec, I may be wrong but kind of figure the collage age crowd would tend to be fairly tolerant. be glad you don't live in the redneck bible belt like some of us : ) . like I said earlier hang in and try not to let the stuff get you down. I remember your avatar pics when I first started hanging out here and I could see a certain sadness ( may not be the right word ) in your face. I look at your avatars now and the change is incredible . I don't see the sadness , I see a happiness and I suspect someone who is a lot happier and at a greater peace with themselves. best wishes to you always, jessica.
yes, I live in a very nice place across the street from the university. Very safe and yes I am so much happier , I was so sad for a very long time.
Hi Stepheniec, you sound much happier and I'm so glad. I always assume its because I'm so strikeling hot looking if I get stared at but then again I couldn't care less. Men will be men. LOL
I prefer the striking good looking reason
Stephanie,
I don't mind looks too much. What makes me paranoid is when I hear people laughing. It most likely has nothing to do with me, but it can make one self conscious.
Monica
Quote from: HappyMoni on November 05, 2016, 09:59:25 PM
Stephanie,
I don't mind looks too much. What makes me paranoid is when I hear people laughing. It most likely has nothing to do with me, but it can make one self conscious.
Monica
yes
When I just started transitioning, it used to drive me crazy, but not just the staring. I live in a neighbourhood with a large muslim and carribean population, who found me offensive for some reason. I wasn't passing so well and was spat in my face, called names (especially "puto" and a "batty boy"), once someone even sent his fighting dog after me. So I just decided to stay at home and put on some male semblance when I'd go out. But it was untenable, because I was changing clothes like five times a day. Also my hair style, makeup I sometimes forgot to take off etc. I wasn's able to pass as male either.
The psychologist who diagnosed my gender dysphoria told me she feared I was developing agoraphobia, but I countered that with the notion that my fear to go out was based on a very real risk I was taking, given the violence I already encountered. Someone who is agoraphobic doesn't go out because of unrealistic fears. She pushed me though, because in the porcess I'm going through, it's obliged to go fulltime within a period of three months after having started HRT.
So I took a deep breath, got myself a complete wardrobe that I feel copmfortable in -until that point I only had clothes my sister gave me and some stuff that really was too slutty-, dyed my hair, pierced my ears, got myself all care products I needed, did all I could about my presentation in order to feel confident and comfortable with myself.
That worked. The first few weeks I got a lot of stares, but no more aggression, apart from one incident. I related that with my psychologist and she believed I was misinterpreting a lot of them. Girls are generally stared at more often than guys and she thought a lot of those guys watching might actaully be attracted to me, or were at least "checking me out". The stares are getting less frequent, maybe also because of the way I started moving and the improvements I'm making with the application of makeup. I also feel happy about how I present myself, which makes all the difference.
But guys in some way being attracted to me can also be intimidating. There is this man in my neighbourhood, who is actually following me around when I go out, constantly trying to make eye contact, which I avoid. At first I thought it was coincidence, but each time I went out he was around somewhere, passing me on his bicycle a few times; it just creeped me out but didn't want to be paranoid about it.
But this is already going on for a few weeks and I now know this not coincidental. At some point I went out shopping with a cis girlfriend of mine. I asked her to check his moves and she confirmed that he was following us. He even went with us when we went into a supermarket, without buying anything himself and followed us all the way back to my house. So now I'm freaked out and don't know what to do. Should I call him out on his behavior, or continue ignoring the f#@% out of him? I could do well without that kind of attentiojn.
I look at woman to see what they are wearing or their hair style and color. Right now it is boots :) I am looking at feet. I will be returning a pair of boots tomorrow, quite frustrating.
I get looks and it use to bother me. I guess I am use to it or I am more comfortable with myself. It does not bother me.
I sometimes get a look, smile and a hello from a guy which feels great. Twice a guy wanted sex and was a jerk. Once I was followed by a guy that kept saying he wanted sex. I dot scared because he would not stop. I had to go into my gym to dodge him.
I am in transition. I look as such. I need to have my hair corrected on top. When I have my BA I expect more guys will be looking at my chest. I hope they like what they see :)
"But this is already going on for a few weeks and I now know this not coincidental. At some point I went out shopping with a cis girlfriend of mine. I asked her to check his moves and she confirmed that he was following us. He even went with us when we went into a supermarket, without buying anything himself and followed us all the way back to my house. So now I'm freaked out and don't know what to do. Should I call him out on his behavior, or continue ignoring the f#@% out of him? I could do well without that kind of attentiojn."
sorry your in this situation I'd be very careful. I don't know what the state of your police is in your country , but I might asked them what to do.
Quote from: stephaniec on November 06, 2016, 09:15:26 AMsorry your in this situation I'd be very careful. I don't know what the state of your police is in your country , but I might asked them what to do.
Unfortunately it's not against the law to follow me around :(
I like it when people stare; it means they see me whether it's in a good light r a bad one I really don't care. If they have something to say to me they're welcome to say it. I'm not afraid.
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I am a bit (a bit?) of an exhibitionist so I enjoy being checked out. If they get sneaky or pervy, I approach them with "Hey sailor, buy a girl a drink?" and you should see them run!
Quote from: Jin on November 07, 2016, 10:29:58 AM
I am a bit (a bit?) of an exhibitionist so I enjoy being checked out. If they get sneaky or pervy, I approach them with "Hey sailor, buy a girl a drink?" and you should see them run!
that's a good one