Today was the first time I went somewhere showing any signs of femininity. I have let my nails grow as long as can pass for work. I went to lunch with very shiny clear polish on. My wife and I then went to Walmart to clothes shop a few items for me. She has been the best.
I got kind of spooked at the restaurant since this was in small town and there were some guys in there wearing what are referred to as "wife beaters" aka tank tops. These are the kind who would likely make very juvenile comments. Anyway, didn't seem as anyone but the waitress noticed my nails. Cool I thought. My SO was very supportive. In the checkout at the store she said she was tired and went to rest on a bench by the door. So I checked out a cart of women's clothing with my again very shiny nails by myself. I know the lady saw them but in the end it was all ok.
I know this seems like no big deal but to me it was a major step. I think next time we go towards the city I might try some color.
Little steps get you where you need to go! :)
Hugs, Devlyn
Josie,
No this is a big deal. I remember how hard it was to take those first steps. Feel good about it. It gets even better when you get more used to it. At some point it helped me when presenting in partial mode to wear sunglasses. Why, because I could look at the faces (and eyes) of those around me. I realized that, no, not everyone was looking at me. It made me realize that most people are running around in their own little worlds, paying no attention to me. It helped me relax. When someone looks at you, you never know if it has anything to do with gender expression. I had a woman look me up and down today. At first I thought, she knows I'm trans. Then I realized that she was sizing up my outfit. (She never looked at my face) Guess my point is to try to relax and enjoy.
Monica
Congratulations, that is a huge step.
I agree with HappyMoni - I know the heart rate is up and you're nervous. It does get easier. It also helps starting out not so close to home though.
Congrats! That's one of the first outwardly visible things I ever did, and I was scared to death too. One of the things you find out is that everyone isn't watching and policing you all of the time. And getting a compliment on your nails can really make your day! Well done.
L
This is a big step. I know when I first started wearing clear polish I was
really nervous and thought everyone at work would notice but of course
almost no one did but it was important to me and gave me confidence.
As my counselor always says "It's one step at a time". Congats on your step.
Kath
Quote from: HappyMoni on November 05, 2016, 09:48:08 PM
Josie,
No this is a big deal. I remember how hard it was to take those first steps. Feel good about it. It gets even better when you get more used to it. At some point it helped me when presenting in partial mode to wear sunglasses. Why, because I could look at the faces (and eyes) of those around me. I realized that, no, not everyone was looking at me. It made me realize that most people are running around in their own little worlds, paying no attention to me. It helped me relax. When someone looks at you, you never know if it has anything to do with gender expression. I had a woman look me up and down today. At first I thought, she knows I'm trans. Then I realized that she was sizing up my outfit. (She never looked at my face) Guess my point is to try to relax and enjoy.
Monica
The person that is looking on purpose is probably trans. :)
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Hey that was great!
Never trivialise a large step into a small step!!
Well done and congratulations.
Cindy
Thank you everyone. ;D
I don't know what I would do without the support this place provides! I'm still trying to get a counselor to just call me back. There's a real lack of professionalism in that profession :(.
A big hug to you all. You made my day!
I see I am late to the party, but I wanted to add my congratulations. That first step is the hardest, and it is cause for celebration.
Be sure to give your wife an extra hug for supporting you. A supportive partner is the best!
Try one of the 4 sided polishing blocks. They make your nails shiny and smooth without any polish. This also makes putting on the polish if you happen to wear color, easier because you have eliminated the ridges. Your Nails will look great and you can tell everyone you had a manicure, Lots of men get manicures so it should not really set you apart as you gain confidence. These blocks are $3.50 at kohls. My first time out in Vegas, no, I did not dress en femme. But I did wear my nylons under my Levi's, s, my panties, and my body shaper. I did dress for my friend DeeDee. Nobody had ever seen me dressed up before. I still have my happy face.
I love those firsts. For me they have always been treasured experiences.
The first time you go out shopping and some nice sales person asks if you need any help, and you say "Yes, I could use a little help finding the right size in this pretty outfit." And you get lots of wonderful help.
I think the only first I have left is the big one.
Full Transition. I am looking forward to it.
Wow girl l, congrats on taking such a big step! As the others have said too, its best to see it for what it is for you: a leap into a new life. So it's not really about the nail polish, your decision to wear it out there is what counts.
And yes, those first steps were just as nerve wrecking for me back then, but , I wholeheartedly agree with Donna: treasure them. You'll remember this in a few years time and maybe you'll, like me, smile at the bravery of it all. And thank yourself for the courage, because your whole transition after it got built upon these few moments. I'm proud of you! [emoji2]
Haha, I know that feeling! Every time I take another step I get pretty anxious about it..."Someone is going to know now". Whether it's shaving my arms, wearing a women's cut jeans, etc. Anything that's outwardly visible.
Granted, I live and work with pretty open-minded, accepting people, but so far either no one is paying enough attention to notice, or they just aren't bothered by it and don't say anything. It's helping me build confidence to 'get away' with this stuff more often :D
Then again, I had a beard for 10 years until I shaved it off two weeks ago, and some people at work are still just noticing now. Maybe I should step outside my office a bit more often... :P
It's somewhat unintuitive. Now that I'm doing things that should make me want to hide more, I feel like hiding less. I suddenly find it easier to socialize now that I'm not hiding my personality inside all the time.
Congrats on the supportive wife :) I have one of those, too, and I couldn't imagine facing this without her.
EyesOpen, I also grew a beard for nearly the last decade. I shaved it just last week to try out my makeup skills! Still need some practice😑 But learning.
I wish my work was at all a tolerant environment. For now the pay is needed for any future plans for us.
I know what you all mean about being freeing. The other week I got to hang out with a couple of the other school moms, me all in male clothes of course. Still it was a great feeling getting included in "mommy talk". I have been wearing my undies and camisole tops under my man clothes most of the time. I'm fairly certain my older brother's partner/ fiancé knows as I definitely let down my male persona the other day when they came down. At least family wise mis coming out gay will make my news less shocking when I'm ready to tell them. I think I need to have a talk with my mom as she gave me a hug that day and I'm sure she felt the racer back of my top through my shirt. "Hey mom remember when I was four and I told you ....."
There's no way I could have done this without my wife's support.
She said if you all were here she would give you all hugs, then we'd have a makeup party!
As others have said it is important and no small feet. Congrats. It's a huge step for you and that is a big deal. Nice job. Hugs
Mariah
Quote from: josie76 on November 05, 2016, 03:21:15 PM
Today was the first time I went somewhere showing any signs of femininity. I have let my nails grow as long as can pass for work. I went to lunch with very shiny clear polish on. My wife and I then went to Walmart to clothes shop a few items for me. She has been the best.
I got kind of spooked at the restaurant since this was in small town and there were some guys in there wearing what are referred to as "wife beaters" aka tank tops. These are the kind who would likely make very juvenile comments. Anyway, didn't seem as anyone but the waitress noticed my nails. Cool I thought. My SO was very supportive. In the checkout at the store she said she was tired and went to rest on a bench by the door. So I checked out a cart of women's clothing with my again very shiny nails by myself. I know the lady saw them but in the end it was all ok.
I know this seems like no big deal but to me it was a major step. I think next time we go towards the city I might try some color.
Quote from: josie76 on November 05, 2016, 03:21:15 PM
Today was the first time I went somewhere showing any signs of femininity. I have let my nails grow as long as can pass for work. I went to lunch with very shiny clear polish on. My wife and I then went to Walmart to clothes shop a few items for me. She has been the best.
I got kind of spooked at the restaurant since this was in small town and there were some guys in there wearing what are referred to as "wife beaters" aka tank tops. These are the kind who would likely make very juvenile comments. Anyway, didn't seem as anyone but the waitress noticed my nails. Cool I thought. My SO was very supportive. In the checkout at the store she said she was tired and went to rest on a bench by the door. So I checked out a cart of women's clothing with my again very shiny nails by myself. I know the lady saw them but in the end it was all ok.
I know this seems like no big deal but to me it was a major step. I think next time we go towards the city I might try some color.
Very brave! Thank you for sharing!
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Big gratz on the nails. Won't be long until you're rocking them long and vibrant.
If you fancy another bit of fun you can try just a basic chap stick. Can get one with a very subtle sheen with plausible deniability if you need it after all its winter and even men can get dry or chapped lips.
No rush for anything just take your time and enjoy it one heartattack at a time ♡
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The first time someone looks at your nails and says: "Ooh, I love that color!" You will never want naked nails again.
Defo. Mine are gels and redone every 3-4 weeks. So lazy I love them.
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Big steps or little steps...progress is being made!
Hugs!
Georgie
Thanks all. I already hate taking my color off for work! Found a nice flesh tone with metallic glitter in it. Gives the shine but have to look close to see the sparkle. Also found the two part lip color with the color brush and clear gloss works better than Chapstick. The clear stays on longer and keeps a nice gloss over my bare lips.
Finally found a therapist, so good week for that anyway.