Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Just wondering if you have or are experiencing being the black sheep. On the surface your accepted because your blood , but the underlying layers reveal themselves in minor ways. I guess I should be grateful that I have a niece and sister that seemingly accept me, but sometimes I wonder how deep that acceptance goes.

Not sure I get the unsure how deep it goes thing, but I'm pretty burnt.

But, shouldn't their acceptance, or lack of, show in their actions? Do they hang out with you, invite you over, make you feel welcome, help you out when you need it, or do they only when obligated, and then say insensitive or mean things or otherwise make you feel unwelcome?

Personally, I've always been the black sheep, and I'm not even out to any of them LOL

Although I am kinda worried about that. Most of them I don't really care about, but the last time i was out to dinner with the ones that I do, the guys started saying stuff about trans and gay people - how it's a mental illness and is brought on by childhood abuse or some such ignorance. I was already feeling pretty socially anxious, and they were my ride, so I did not choose that time and place to make my stand :p

Don't think I could handle rejection from that particular group of people anyways, and since I'm completely non-passable and nobody seems to notice anything, maybe I'll just continue keeping my mouth shut forever.

I'd rather be loved for what I am not than hated for what I am.

Anyways...hope your family is good to you, you deserve it :)

there are areas I wouldn't even attempt at this time to travel into such as I hadn't seen my niece for 20 years due to family  dispute and she reached out to me on facebook. The problem is that it's been two years since initial contact and she has stopped talking over Facebook , but still has Facebook open to  me and she has two children around 9 and 10 and I doubt they know I exist. I've never met them. Same with my sister she  seemed to haev whated to get closer at first after not talking to her for 20 years now it seems the brief communications on Facebook is all she wants.

If you're talking about family members saying that they support you, but it does not show in their actions, then yes.
I experience alot of the divided kind of support from my family members, though I suppose it's better than to not be supported at all.

it's better than total rejection , but somewhat sad

As for my adoptive family, I was kicked out of the house at 14, just because I was not becoming a man. This was after years of abuse as well as neglect.

My husband is the black sheep of his family, for reasons that have nothing to do with gender or sexuality.

Finding my biological family was a god-send. My sister may act a little peculiar towards me once in a while, but not enough to bother me.

From what I have seen posted during the past several months, I feel blessed.

I'm waiting to see if get invited for holiday dinners.

I don't have many relatives. Basically just my brother and his wife. But I think in my case it's less black sheep and more rabid, mentally ill, unquestionably evil, hell-bent-on-corrupting-the very-air-around-everything-with-some-form-of-plague-ridden-genetically-engineered-protogibbons, supervillain.

I haven't seen my nieces and nephews. I wasn't allowed to. For their sake, apparently. In case I infected them with my "particular brand of crazy".

But at least I know where I stand. I think I would rather have that than smiles to your face and the knives behind your back.

I guess I did, back before my brother knew the truth. It always seemed a bit icy between us. Something was obviously wrong but I couldn't say what, and I never did the whole "big brother" deal. Other than saving his life when we were kids, but neither of us ever went there. It's not a very nice feeling trying to second guess what someone means when they say something.

Yep . 7 years (and going) since my parents (and sister and niece) disowned me .

But brother , aunt, uncle, some cousins, etc are supportive.

Well, I've always been the black sheep of the family with a history of abuse, so it's hard to tell if it's because I'm trans, or if it's just a new stick to hit me with. But it would be an understatement to say that I have zero support from my family

My mother went along to the psychologist during the diagnostic stage (and used that opportunity to place doubt on my gender identity that she knows I have since the age of three), but has basically been avoiding me ever since I started transitioning. When I call her, she doesn't answer and if she answers the phone because she couldn't recognize the number, she never says my name and intentionally misgenders me. After my father saw my new passport, he literally told me I'm "not worthy to be his son" and my little brother told me, that if I belived myself to be a golden retriever dog next year, he would love me all the same (that is, not at all). Only my sister is supportive, but she lives in Italy and has four children and an unemancipated, Italian husband to take care of.

The only family member I'm still in touch with is my sister and I cut off the other three myself

Fortunately all my friends are supportive.

We used to have a running Joke in our family about which Brother was at the top of the Xmas card list and this was always dependant on your behaviour. Last time I joked about it was the weekend I came out to my parents. Since coming out in September no one has made that joke around me. I know they have made the joke amongst themselves but I suspect (as do they) that I would be so far towards the bottom it would take an Atlas Rocket to get me just back to normal status!! LOL One of the many things we no longer talk about...the pile of "stuff" that is getting swept under the rug is now more like a small mound ::)

I know I have always been different to my 3 brothers and family. I am missing the musical gene, great scholastic gene and extrovert gene. What I do have is different and I won't share with them as I would be the black sheep.
I am lucky to be strong enough to repel the urge to let the world know who I am.
I enjoy being the black sheep in a cloak, testing my resolve and taking the calculated risks to be who I am.
I am successful in my own right because I know I can be.



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I was the unplanned and unwanted 3rd child of my mother's first marriage, I've always been the Black Sheep

Always the black sheep. Rubbish school reports, fighting, under age drinking taking crap from nobody & scared of no one.

sad topic, it's a shame we have to deal with the extra burden .

Looks like the door has closed on Thanksgiving  invite and not holding out much hope for Christmas . There is always Susan's. I guess it's hard for people to adjust to an Uncle who becomes an Aunt.

Quote from: stephaniec on November 16, 2016, 10:41:25 PM
Looks like the door has closed on Thanksgiving  invite and not holding out much hope for Christmas . There is always Susan's. I guess it's hard for people to adjust to an Uncle who becomes an Aunt.

Well Steph, you are welcome to come to Tauranga in NZ. You are welcome to join in if you can.
Christmas is a time for family and since you are part of and working hard at Susan's, you are family to me.
You and I have never met or talked. I am sorry that those you know are keeping you at arms length.
Maybe they just don't know how to ask due to how your life has progressed. Maybe just tell those who are the closest that you are stopping off at their place on the way through to somewhere.
I hope you settle on who you will invade/enthrall soon as xmas is not far away
Luv
Sue


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Well, it's all right , I've got the members of Susan's to  celebrate with it's what I've done the past 3 years. The wonderful stories of Australia and the Queen sends chills down my English roots.

I'm the "omega wolf" of my pack..I was my dad's scapegoat. I got blamed for everything since I was a baby and whipped for things that were done when I wasn't even there. His hatred inspired my mom to mock me also whenever given the chance.

At first we siblings hung together but as they grew up and got married they began shunning and mocking me as well. In retrospect, perhaps it was my bold transmale nature that annoyed them.

My family is high IQ and creative, but they are quite conventional, and I wasn't. I read incessantly since very young, was curious about everything, questioned everything. I rode my stallion without a saddle or bridle at 10 years old, and had strange powers all my life..ability to read animal and human minds, tell the future, etc.

It seemed natural when I was little and my friends just accepted it. People always asked me the time, although I didn't wear a watch, and I warned people ahead of time when visitors were on their way..who and when, because I could "see" them starting out, and read their intentions. I wasn't welcomed at board or card games because I could control the dice and cards, although I tried my best not to. I would start out on a trip, then suddenly arrive, skipping the distance. My kids had the same powers.

Eventually I became worried I was doing something wrong, and blocked powers from my mind, except when people requested I talk to one of their pets to find out what's wrong, or to find out why their ex wife is angry, etc.

I still talk to animals with my mind, i.e., telling my Asian Fairy-bluebird mentally when it's time to fly back into the cage so I can hang the cage outside and go to work.

Since my parents resented me from birth (I was an unplanned child) I can't blame their hostility on my unconventional behavior, although my constant questioning everything annoyed them. I did my own reading and research so wasn't easily put off by pat answers.

I came out to my family three years ago as partially transmale, but they just ignored me. Since they were doing that anyway, I doubt it was because of my gender identity.

Quote from: SueNZ on November 17, 2016, 03:32:09 AM
Well Steph, you are welcome to come to Tauranga in NZ. You are welcome to join in if you can.
Christmas is a time for family and since you are part of and working hard at Susan's, you are family to me.
You and I have never met or talked. I am sorry that those you know are keeping you at arms length.
Maybe they just don't know how to ask due to how your life has progressed. Maybe just tell those who are the closest that you are stopping off at their place on the way through to somewhere.
I hope you settle on who you will invade/enthrall soon as xmas is not far away
Luv
Sue


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I'd love to go to NZ

Yes, and I don't mind. I find regular people "white sheep" boring, so it goes two ways at once.  ;)