Hi there,
I have a problem..it's my dysphoria striking again. Some days, when I wake up, I feel content and can see a girl inside straight away.
Then there are other days when I wake up and feel almost like...a filthy animal. Nothing is different before I go to sleep and yet, when I wake up, sometimes it's a beautiful morning with birds singing and sometimes I just wish for it all to go away. What helps you during these bad days? I mean...is there a particular reason why sometimes I feel comfortable and see my "inner woman" while sometimes I can't stand myself?
I'm no therapist, but it sounds like you're still carrying a bit of shame about this, meaning you haven't achieved full self-acceptance yet. Once you reach that point, that dysphoria will start to fade and when everything is in alignment, it'll be gone. At least that's how it went for me.
I can't explain what you are experiencing, but I can identify with it. It is the pattern of my life. Hopefully this time round the extreme dysphoria that results in sleeplessness and anxiety will be short-lived and that life will soon take on some semblance of normalcy. Such is my hope for you. Hang in there!
Hi Sidney,
I definitely feel the same...some days it ebbs and others it REALLY flows. I experience shame and embarrassment and never sure exactly why. I have sought out a GT and a support group and this past weekend I told my sister-in-law (wife's sister) and simply telling them has helped tremendously for me. Bottom line, I would recommend finding someone you can talk to because it DOES help if you don't already have someone.
sadly its seems to be the nature of dysphoria to always be lurking in the background of our lives and it tends to creeps out when we feel insecure or have low self esteem once in a while but just being a woman (trans or cis) in our society also means that we are constantly bombarded by a barrage of messages about our beauty and our physical bodies. This just compounds the effects of the dysphoria which feeds on our insecurities regarding our passing abilities or misgendered ect.. I get some days that are just blahhh! mostly what sets of my dysphoria is the social aspects that will stay with me through the next day and i wake up and its still in my mind! I cant speak for the guys but I would imagine that media also pushes those dysphoria buttons as well with all the hyper masculine models we see?
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Hi Sydney;
If you are on HRT get your levels check out. You ,may need to get your Oestrogen dosage increased.
Judith Lynn