Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: stephaniec on November 16, 2016, 10:55:01 AM

Title: How concerned are you for you safety
Post by: stephaniec on November 16, 2016, 10:55:01 AM
Just curious given that this year so far is the worse year for trans murders  , how concerned are you for your personal safety. I'm lucky that the neighborhood I live in is right next to a major University where there is plenty of police protection and students looking out for each othe, so I feel quite safe , but I rarely venture out of the area and when I do I'm always aware of my surroundings and type of neighborhood I'm in.
Title: Re: How concerned are you for you safety
Post by: DawnOday on November 16, 2016, 11:39:58 AM
Thanks to Mr. Trump and Mr. Pence, who will never be my President the fear of their hate is palpable as lowlifes have been emboldened by their rhetoric. Yes I am fearful but at least I live in one of the left coasts liberal states that have taken states rights to new levels of compassion and hope. So they say they will withhold funding. Thing is we always have given more money away to the southern states than we receive by a large margin.
Title: Re: How concerned are you for you safety
Post by: Deborah on November 16, 2016, 12:24:06 PM
I do not fear.  I also maintain situational awareness and avoid places and situations of likely trouble.


It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.
André Gide, Autumn Leaves
Title: Re: How concerned are you for you safety
Post by: AngieT on November 16, 2016, 01:01:12 PM
I have no worries when at our home in Seattle, but when we're at our place in Florida, I sometimes feel uneasy depending on where we're at. 

Danger and discrimination isn't unique to trans individuals, and just a few days ago I had someone driving by scream  "Pack your bags wetback, Trump's sending you home!"  I'm a big girl and can defend myself, but I fear more for my wife who isn't quite as tenacious.  While we're here the simple solution is to conceal carry my S&W. 
Title: Re: How concerned are you for you safety
Post by: Michelle_P on November 16, 2016, 01:04:15 PM
Quote from: Deborah on November 16, 2016, 12:24:06 PM
I do not fear.  I also maintain situational awareness and avoid places and situations of likely trouble.

"Fear is the mind-killer..."

Knowing that there are safety issues, and knowing how to stay safe are vital.  These are something that every woman, trans or cis, should know.

There are folks out there that want to harm us, cis or trans, unfortunately.  It is a part of our life. 

Some recently have conflated 'political correctness' with civil behavior, and decided that they can reject both correctness and civility now.  That adds an additional element of risk, as these newly empowered folks seem to feel that a coffee shop or a grocery store are just as good a place as any to express themselves.

Basic situational awareness and knowing escape paths, how to get away can go far.  Simple self-defense training and a pepper spray in the handbag are great additions to awareness and escape, as backups when we can't get away from a confrontation.

Further measures can be taken by those willing to invest the time and effort in training and practice, but they are no substitute for simply being aware of the situation and avoiding being cornered.

I wish the world were otherwise.  I really do.  We have to live with what we've got and what little we can change in ourselves.
Title: Re: How concerned are you for you safety
Post by: RobynD on November 16, 2016, 01:56:13 PM
I feel very safe. Similar to you, a liberal college town in a liberal state. There still are crazies and such out there, but i tend not to be where there are.

Just to make a point though - where i go is not the issue (as is what i wear etc), everyone should feel safe everywhere.
Title: Re: How concerned are you for you safety
Post by: Deborah on November 16, 2016, 02:05:49 PM
Where I live, Dixie, people are generally polite to each other no matter what they think.  It's the culture.  There are exceptions to that and I don't go to those places.


It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.
André Gide, Autumn Leaves
Title: Re: How concerned are you for you safety
Post by: KathyLauren on November 16, 2016, 02:22:53 PM
I have always taken my male privilege for granted, but I don't think that is sensible when presenting as myself.  The risks are higher, so I try to keep a higher level of situational awareness. 

I am not paranoid about it.  The actual risk of an unpleasant event is low.  The most likely unpleasant event, someone mouthing off, has low consequences.  But the consequences of some of the less likely events are potentially catastrophic, so I try to keep my wits about me.  I only go to places that are relatively safe, and I keep my head up, checking who is around me and what they are doing.

Fear is a healthy attitude that keeps you out of dangerous situations.  It is not the same as terror, which prevents you from doing things.
Title: Re: How concerned are you for you safety
Post by: Jill E on November 16, 2016, 03:49:11 PM
We don't live in the best area, but I'm more concerned for being targeted for sexual assault than being attacked bc I'm trans. We've been looking at relocating for awhile tho, either to Seattle, Portland, Ottawa, or Montreal (the latter would be a little harder). As it stands we don't go out way to often, but maybe we will when we finally decide to relocate. (:

However, from a social standpoint the next four years do scare me, Trump & Pence terrify me (especially Pence), and the thought of how things could play out for our rights scares me.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: How concerned are you for you safety
Post by: Paige on November 16, 2016, 03:52:54 PM

This sort of thing probably isn't helping.

Transgender woman's car vandalized with hate speech, pro-Trump message in Denver's Capitol Hill
http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/local-news/transgender-womans-car-vandalized-with-hate-speech-pro-trump-message-in-denvers-capitol-hill
Title: Re: How concerned are you for you safety
Post by: Jin on November 17, 2016, 09:25:30 AM
About the same level as when I am in boy mode. (I switch hit a lot). There are some places I would not be comfortable in girl dress, but mostly I don't worry about it.

Oh, and I am always packing...
Title: Re: How concerned are you for you safety
Post by: Dee Marshall on November 17, 2016, 10:28:23 AM
Situational awareness IS important, but it can't cover everything. I live in a tourist area on the Hudson River. It contains several mansions that are now Federal parks and the Culinary Institute of America. People are affluent. I think I reported last week that all five lug nuts on my left front tire had been loosened which could have resulted in a crash. Situational awareness did help me to avoid that, but between 4:30 and 5:00 in the morning it could easily not have. Three lugs pulled loose from the vibration. My mechanic told me that this was unlikely to be an accident unless the tire had been removed in the past week and insufficiently tightened, which is not the case. Nevertheless, I clung to that small hope that it was accidental. When I spoke to him yesterday he told me that he checked and ALL of the lug nuts on every tire had been loosened.

Someone tried to kill me, or tried a very dangerous and thoughtless practical joke. So, yes, I'm afraid. I'm terrified! Someone went so far as to suggest that I check all of the lug nuts every time I drive. At 4:30 in the morning. That seems as dangerous as not, crouching in the dark in the middle of the night.
Title: Re: How concerned are you for you safety
Post by: stephaniec on November 17, 2016, 10:38:42 AM
so sorry this has happened.
Title: Re: How concerned are you for you safety
Post by: Sophia Sage on November 17, 2016, 11:18:07 AM
Most every woman is concerned for her safety in a patriarchal culture.
Title: Re: How concerned are you for you safety
Post by: Harley Quinn on November 17, 2016, 02:05:41 PM
No more no less than before. The whole pro trump anti trump crap is just the same idiots showing their ugliness. Trump isn't a supporter of the violence. Not one bit. Liberal media and Hillary supporters painted him as a villan and gave the idiots a green light to commit these crimes in his name. Liberal media has been fear mongering the entire time pushing to exploit the LGBT community as a tool to help rally support for the candidate that will give them the best stories over the next 4 years. The media should be held accountable for creating the mass hysteria and passively supporting the hate crimes by setting the stage for segregation.
Title: Re: How concerned are you for you safety
Post by: RobynD on November 18, 2016, 06:21:48 PM
Whatever your political leaning, there can be little doubt that what happened last week gave emotional support for those that are racist, bigoted or just haters in general. Do i blame the media? No not really. But it is pretty plain where we are headed and it will probably get worse before it get's better.

Nevertheless, we can all protect ourselves, be vigilant and band together. Most people support us and in liberal/urban areas it is a huge majority that do. Have courage and keep yourself safe.

One thing that it has had me do is to get more active and more involved in the community. That by any measure, is a good thing.
Title: Re: How concerned are you for you safety
Post by: stephaniec on November 18, 2016, 07:28:16 PM
the LGBTQ... media is painting quite a bleak picture of the near future. I hope it's not as bad as predicted.
Title: Re: How concerned are you for you safety
Post by: warlockmaker on November 18, 2016, 07:52:04 PM
Living in Bangkok, no discrimination. its very safe. Cos there are just too many of us . haha