Hey there, I've been struggling with names lately and this is the only place I could think to go for help.
My birth name is Claire and I can't decide if I should change it or leave it. See, my first option would be Clay but my mother absolutely hates it and she's been decently supportive during this so I don't want to upset her, and also I want to respect the wishes of the one who named me a decent name in the first place.
Charlie is another option I like, but it's so far away from my original name that I'm worried people who have known me for a long time will struggle with the name change.
I also really like Kent but I don't want to be Kent the <Not Permitted> so I don't think I'll pursue it.
Anyone here have any advice?
What name does your mom prefer? If you have a significant other, what name(s) do they like?
In my case I knew the name that my parents has originally picked for me. (I was expected to have been a girl) I picked a few other favorites, then asked my wife what names she liked. She picked my first name, and I used my parents original chosen name as my middle name. (I chose a new last name too, which ticked everyone off, but they got over it)
Welcome to Susan's Place. I like preserving letters so Carl comes to mind.
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My parents despised Tamika when I told them it. They pressured me to change it to something they chose. I considered this, but in the end I reckoned that it was my name, and it should be my choice. I also felt that I would come to hate anything but what I chose for myself, what I had internalized as my name. In the end I stuck to my guns, and after a year or so they came around.
I'm not sure how you feel about Clay, but if it is important to you, if you feel that it IS your name, don't sacrifice it lightly. If you do need to lose it to stay on your mom's good side, make sure the trade is fair.
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Clark, perhaps? Carl was another good suggestion.
I agree with Dena that Carl is a good choice. The key in the end is whatever name you choose your going to be living with so I would go with whatever you like in the end. Fact is my mom hated my middle name choice. She claimed it didn't go with my first name, but in the end I took the name that fit me. I hope that helps. Hugs
Mariah
Quote from: Dena on November 17, 2016, 05:52:36 PM
I like preserving letters so Carl comes to mind.
Well, as i am just beginning here i havent felt the need to think about my name change yet. i agree with Dena about preserving letters, I may decide to add a couple to my birthname. obviously it would make acceptance for the change much easier. for my first- Ian could be Ianna or Anna and my middle- Michael could be Michelle or Mikel i would certainly like to keep it simple.
Carl is a cool name.
If you need more of a break from the past, then don't use the same initials. A different initial will also make it easier, I think, for family to not slip up -- they won't constantly be reminded of the past by that first phoneme.
Also, names have meaning. "Clay" is obvious, but also has Biblical connotations. "Carl" derives from German and simply means "man." "Kent" refers to the coast.
"Bruce" probably refers to a town of French origin, but could also refer to "thick brush" which has connotations of a beard. Robert the Bruce was a Scottish folk hero who achieved independence from England and became the king of Scotland.
Thanks you for all the advice, you guys have brought up a lot of stuff I hadn't thought about before and it's making it easier to figure out now.
Also I'd go for Carl, and I have thought about it, but I can't because that's a close relative's name. ^-^ Thanks for the suggestion anyway, it means a lot to me that someone would even be willing to help at all!
At risk of sounding like a broken record, thank you!
i like Clay so maybe you should keep floating this idea with your mom. maybe it will grow on her and if not well i don't know
Whatever name you choose, make it your own. I can't get over my name now, and I really hated my dead name. If you feel that the name you want is a part of you, then that is the name you should choose regardless of what others think.
When you decide on your name, please come back and let us know what it is so we can all welcome you.
I don't know if anyone gets notified about these things, but if you guys do I actually have finally decided on a name
I chose Clay
Thank you all so much for your thoughts and support, it helped me a lot.
I know you already made your choice, but I'll still add my two cents here just in case it is useful to anyone else. Congratulations, Clay is a beautiful name! I also liked Kent, but that's just me cos I'm a Superman fan :)
First of all its your name, you are the one who has to live with it. Most of the people in my life do not go around being called by their birth name, everyone uses a nickname. If someone calls you something that you don't like then you have every right to ignore them until they grow some manners :)
My male names were Edward Alan, the names I chose are Edina Alyx. I liked that it still kept my same initials, I get to keep the nickname that most people call me anyway (Eddie). This means it is very unlikely that an older friend will out me accidently by using my old male name.
Alyx, I got from my niece (with permission), who was the first person to use my new name by calling me Aunt Edina, again I liked it because it was only 2 letters different from my old middle name.
Those were the criteria that helped me choose, but that is obviously not the only way to do so. The most important thing is to choose something that you like, if it is a name that has a special meaning for you then even better.
Ask your parents what they would've called you if you were AMAB. Usually parents have different options. I like the name Charlie :) Also Carl as someone suggested, as it would be closer to your birth-name.
Seeing how it is a unisexual name may I suggest Ashley? Ashleys are the best thing known ever ;)
Hugs-Ashley D! ;)
Quote from: undautri on April 08, 2017, 05:26:04 PM
I actually have finally decided on a name
I chose Clay
Thank you all so much for your thoughts and support, it helped me a lot.
An excellent choice! Congrats, Clay!!
Erin
I'm glad you were able to choose a name! Clay is a really nice name. :)
I just wanted to add something here that I did when choosing my name.
What I originally did was write down a list of names I liked and go around, asking people to place a check mark beside the ones they like best. Once I dwindled those down and made sure I liked them, I made another list and did the same.
However, I didn't end up going with any of them. I chose Maksim (mostly used as Max) because it was very similar to my birth name (Madison) plus it helps me stay in touch with my Russian roots.
As far as middle names go, originally it was going to be Ashton (derived from Ashley), but I decided that I really didn't like that, so I asked my parents what I would've been named if I was born a boy, and they told me it was Nikolas, so I decided to go with that as my middle name! So from Madison Ashley, I went to Maksim Nikolas (though again, most people call me Max).
Basically, it can be anything you want it to be, and the process can change from person to person. Like your mom, my parents were both very supportive of me throughout this entire thing so I wanted to help make it easier for them.
However a lot of people do prefer to make a complete change with their name, breaking away from everything, even initials and sounds. It's really up to you, but it sounds like you've decided, so that's great!
Welcome, Clay. :)