I'm 65 and basically until I transitioned 3 years ago I've purged all my life and that a lot of items I've gotten rid in an attempt to stop and never do it again.
More times than I want to count. Hugs
Mariah
I was closeted for thirty years, there must have been a couple of dozen purges at least. I'd like a refund!
I seem to be a hoarder of clothing even if I never wear it again.... if I ever lose my clothing its from accidental loss like going to be a place and leaving it behind. Although I hardly buy clothing too unless it's for a special occasion.
I had a major purge after my father died . I had been taking care of him until he died and I had a nice wardrobe and my hair was down the middle of my back. I was a hippie. Well when my dad died I had been sick with a bad flu and didn't take care of my hair properly and it got all noted so instead of surviving with what was left after trying to comb it out I just gave up and cut it all off and when I did that with the fact of my father death I decided one more time to clean house and try to be the male, so out went the hair and a really nice bunch of dresses, shoes and underwear thinking I had finally put the struggle to rest with the death of my dad. I got a job and it worked for 20 years. Hear I am finally transitioning after finally realizing that I had to accept who I am.
Having lived my life on the corner of Futile & Fatalism, I never had anything even close to a purge. As badly as I wished the feelings would go away I knew that it wasn't having the clothes making me want to wear them, it was me making me want to wear them.
Then add in as a kid/youth/teen/YA/grup acquiring clothing was always a major undertaking, both logistically in male mode and being able to financially justify an insane extravagance. A purge would only lead to reliving all that angst and the expenditure of more emotional energy
I feel bad for people who are older because it seems like they have the most purges. Not just because they have had more time to purge but also because of social stigmas. I think with a more accepting society than we had 10, 20, and 30 years ago that we are seeing a decrease.
I never had a purge and was a bit confused when I encountered it for the first time on this site. For some reason the people I associated with either never purged or if they did, they never talked about it. My transition was one way and I never took back steps.
The way I was brought up, I thought I was sick and just needed to man up and use my will power to defeat my feelings. I did my first purge when I was 12. I can't count how many times I cycled between guilty pleasure and remorse since then. I had no idea others were going through what I was feeling.
I can't remember how many times but it was a lot. I miss some of those clothes. I wonder how much money I threw away in this process.
Too many times. I am getting very close to doing it again...
I never really did... but to be fair, I did not own that much clothes that I would have purged. I think I nicked a skirt and a leggins from my sisters clothes donation box at some point, but I never "dressed" much. And by the time I was about 22 I started buying neutral unisex and slightly feminine clothes and just used them anyday - I kep them after I told people my new name and took hormones, just adding to that and then at some point I got rid of some of the older ones... I guess it was much less "violent" for me in terms of going this way and then the other way again. Interestingly I did not get very femme clothes until this year, really - about 18 years after transitioning. For most of the time I was more into unisex and slightly feminine clothes, but not into skirts and dresses and all that anyways. More like Jeans and spaghetti Tops maybe. But now that I am over 40, I somehow decided to be more femme for some reasons - a bit late maybe, it surely would have looked better at age 25 or 30.
Not once.
But I had tiny purges, for example, where I would get angry and say: Okay then!!! if you want me to be male, here's male!! let's fight like men then!!! *raising my fists* to a stranger who insulted me when I just started.
I was extremely angry and would have crushed the guy if I didn't come back to my senses. Getting insulted in the first months is just soul crushing.
I was like: if you think I am a male, let me pretend you are right and kick your ***! I was involved in a number of street fights throughout my life, so I wasn't afraid at all.
Kinda embarrassing when I look back, but I felt I had no choice. :embarrassed:
Quote from: Paige on November 24, 2016, 10:22:29 PM
I can't remember how many times but it was a lot. I miss some of those clothes. I wonder how much money I threw away in this process.
that's one thing I really don't like thinking about money wasted. I had a really nice dress I ordered from Sears I think and it was the first dress that fit right and looked right. I remember when it got delivered it was so cool. That dress was one that got purged when my dad died.
Quote from: 2cherry on November 25, 2016, 05:38:54 AM
Not once.
But I had tiny purges, for example, where I would get angry and say: Okay then!!! if you want me to be male, here's male!! let's fight like men then!!! *raising my fists* to a stranger who insulted me when I just started.
I was extremely angry and would have crushed the guy if I didn't come back to my senses. Getting insulted in the first months is just soul crushing.
I was like: if you think I am a male, let me pretend you are right and kick your ***! I was involved in a number of street fights throughout my life, so I wasn't afraid at all.
Kinda embarrassing when I look back, but I felt I had no choice. :embarrassed:
J had that kind of anger , but when I started using estrogen it all sort of went away
Quote from: stephaniec on November 25, 2016, 06:11:37 AM
J had that kind of anger , but when I started using estrogen it all sort of went away
That anger was horrible... but indeed, the hormones...
Always thought I was a little odd that I never did a "classic purge". When the guilt and shame got to much to handle I would box up my girl things and bury them in the back of the closet or in the attic. Only time anything got thrown out was if it no longer fit, was wore out or I just didn't like the style of something anymore. Go figure ? Jessica.
Only for poor style choices, I figure iyam whut iyam an' it's all whut iyam :-)
About twice really, did I totally purge, in my 20's. From then on, I kept all my stuff, since from my 30's and onward I felt that this dysphoria was not going away, so from my 30's and onward I kept my stuff, to this day. More scholarly stuff, like books and articles dealing with ->-bleeped-<- really.
a half dozen in my 20s and 30s....I think I have passed that part of my life and started with self-acceptance...
I've done it a couple times though it was mostly due to huge fluctuations of weight and I don't have much to wear since most of those clothes I still have are male clothes from when I was 243 right before HRT earlier this year, now I'm 179. I do plan once I get money to throw it all out and only get gender appropriate clothes from now on, the estrogen is certainly making the dysphoria that much worse whenever I have to see myself wearing m ale clothes >_<
Never had to purge... mom did a great job of that for me. It was more like, how many items were you successful in holding on to.
I have purged a few times on my own due to being caught by my wife, but the last time I was caught, she took it upon herself to purge everything. She was super upset at finding my clothes and stuff, and got even more upset when she saw how many pretty heels I owned. I am now starting to rebuild the wardrobe again, hopefully with better luck.
Only purged once. when I went full time. Did the purge a bit hasty though sins I only had two outfits left :) all good now though.
If you want an estimate, maybe around 10 times, and I'm 64 years old.
I have not started transition quite yet, since I am working on the blessing of my wife.
However, I am in the middle of a slow purge right now. The good kind. I am slowly but surely getting rid of all male clothing. I still have some, but I donate or discard up to 5 male items per week whereas I purchase up to 5 female items per week.
I'm in the progress of the first one. Gotten rid of one item here and one there over the last 6 months. I've gotten attached to a lot of it over the years, so I'm taking my time to gradually pare it down. Also prefer to see items that are in good condition go to charities instead of the trash.
I remember secretly crossdressing a lot after puberty started. Then I stopped when I went to an all boys high school.
One crossdressing period in college that lasted a couple months which ended when I made a mistake and was certain I was going to be discovered.
Started crossdressing again at age 40 and never purged. But I did slowly move everything into a black trash bag I kept in the basement. That was when I was at the "If I can't live as a woman, then I don't want to wear her clothes" stage.
Then in 2013 I was in suicidal crisis (my 3rd). At my darkest time I did a complete purge. After I got help and started feeling better I started crossdressing again.
I can draw a direct line from that crisis to where I live today.
Only once and it was mainly because I did such a poor job shopping for clothes online at the beginning.
I've never purged and thought it was curious at first until reading reasons why people would do this.
When first purchasing clothing I didn't have much to spend so those purchases were well thought out and meant to last. Never thought about tossing them but did go through periods that I would not dress.
More times than I care to remember. I carried so much guilt for more than 45 years (I've known since I was about 5 or 6 & am 51 now). Early on while single, I would buy then feel so bad, purge and wait a few months then repeat. I came out to my wife this past summer and she told me to stop throwing stuff away. Now, I have space in my closet and dresser drawers as "Paula's" wardrobe is being developed...next step, let Paula step out.
Paula
Three times for feminine clothes. One partial purge so far of masculine clothes. One more of those still to come.
I've never purged feminine clothes, but I refused to wear masculine clothes, ever since mom allowed me to dress myself. I always dressed androgynously. I discovered flowery Hawaiian shirts, cute, feminine and nobody ever gave be a hard time about it. I own over 250 of them.