Okay. for many many years I've wondered. Mostly about why I had some things that were obviously feminine. I have my Mum's feet (women's size 10 NARROW), several fingers are very feminine versus the fat man fingers, feminine brow ridge (almost none), feminine jaw, no Adam's apple at all, and a pelvis that made many a doc furrow his/her brow. Half is feminine with a larger opening and a hip socket in the appropriate location for a woman and the other half is masculine. Needless to say, I walk funny b most people's standards. But when Mickie walks, she struts! SO.....the news that has changed my life forever. I found a woman who had kept her mother's diary when she passed. She had been a nurse in the Nursery at the hospital where I was born. The hospital had burned down with all records destroyed in 1961, so my medical past literally went up in smoke and ash. But, bless this good woman, she kept good notes on we "special babies" that she cared for. I say special for a special reason. By her words, the hospital did not know what to call us, boy or girl. Now enter my earliest recollection, my first memory from about the time we all become self-aware. I was tightly wrapped around my little chest and I couldn't understand why. My hands were gloved and tied down. I hurt. Now today, or last week I should say, my suspicions were confirmed. My transitional physician confirmed that I had received some sort of surgical procedure that had removed glands from my chest. From the location, he concluded quickly that they had been breast buds. This is traumatic for me. I understand much now. why I never fit in with the other boys. I never was athletic in the male sense. But I could cook, keep house, care for others, it now makes sense. And it was why Dad never wanted anything to do with me. I was Mum and Grandmother's child to raise. Maybe today this is why I would make someone a very good wife. Can't be a biological mom, but I can love their children like no one but their bio-mom could. It's in me.
Whew. I made it with only stopping twice. Gets difficult to see the page when tears cover your eyes. Now, I have to adjust once more. And wonder if my friends will still accept me, me for who I was born. Start by saying the word that is racing through your brain. That's what I did. Let's say it together. Hermaphodite. Turned into a boy/man by some butcher with a God complex. Well, he got it all wrong, didn't he. Now you know what brought me to where I am today. Please, add your comments below. Friends or enemies, whichever you are, I welcome your company.
Oh, Mickie,I am so sorry that this happened to you. There are others that had rough childhood experiences that damaged their core self and identity.
Welcome, and I think you'll find some comfort and help here.
One of the official folks will be along shortly to give you a more formal welcome. [emoji6]
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Welcome to Susan's Place. Unfortunately I know of two other member who received much the same treatment that you did. Fortunately the message is getting out and children are not being altered unless it's necessary for their survival. You will find that you are not judged here and that you have many friends because at heart all of us are different from the norms of society. If there is anything I can do to aid your stay here, let me know.
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Thank you both for your replies. And, Everything, you've already helped and given me something valuable; acceptance.
Hi Mickey and welcome to Susan's. I'm sorry about what happened to you. You have become a beautiful and happy person. I detect no bitterness in your heart.
:)
Mickey58,
Please forgive me, As an RN for 23 years, I am unclear on exactly what has happened to you. Apparently, you have some feminine characteristics:
have my Mum's feet (women's size 10 NARROW)
several fingers are very feminine versus the fat man fingers,
feminine brow ridge (almost none)
feminine jaw
no Adam's apple at all,
a pelvis that:
-Half is feminine with a larger opening
-and a hip socket in the appropriate location for a woman
the other half is masculine
and
But when Mickie walks, she struts!
You found a woman whose mother kept a diary regarding patients at the hospital where you were born, but later burned down. .
Were you specifically mentioned in the diary? Do none of your physician or pediatricians records exist? Physicians kept their records in their offices as opposed to hospital records. Have you checked on finding those records?
I am inclined to believe you were born in an interstate sex? Have you had any examination of your chromosomes? Those should give you a better picture. What do you mean by a transitional physician? Are you undergoing SRS?
As an RN, I am concerned that you are able to get whatever assistance and help you need. Certainly, having ones sex arbitrarily reassigned by a physician in the late 50's or early 60's and having not been told about it until just now, borders on criminal. This is certainly not something you want to deal with alone.
Please, seek some assistance. . . At least you are in a place to start getting help.
Best Wishes,
Quote from: whorton59 on December 18, 2016, 12:08:21 AM
As an RN, I am concerned that you are able to get whatever assistance and help you need. Certainly, having ones sex arbitrarily reassigned by a physician in the late 50's or early 60's and having not been told about it until just now, borders on criminal. This is certainly not something you want to deal with alone.
Criminal is the correct word to describe what happened. For a while it was believed that gender was shaped and not born into you so many parents where asked what gender they wanted and the child was assigned to that gender. Sometimes they got it right and sometimes they didn't. The doctors latter learn the truth about playing god and as soon as it was legally permitted, they destroyed the records of their activity to eliminate the risk of legal action. The children who where operated on now have no medical records to be used in corrective surgery so their modern day surgeon needs to preform the surgery blind and hope there are no surprises. One person I know was female internally, assigned male and the surgeon discovered everything still inside and functional. Her parents knew the truth but only admitted to it after being confronted.
Doctors should not perform any genital or reproductive surgeries on babies except for surgeries that are necessary to facilitate the basic bodily functions (like urination, etc).
I am crying with you Mickie, We all have suffered some sort of tragedy in our lives, that is what makes us what we are. Understand will certainly help you move forward.
I suppose that I was clearly male, but my breasts did develop at puberty. Along with some traditional female skills that you mentioned came a love of feminine clothes. Oh yeah, and boys! I am proud of both sides of me. Learn to love yourself as you are. If we were all alike, it would be a very boring world.