Soooooo... three of my super sweet girlfriends decided to plan a Girls Night Out for me which will be the first time to go out fully dressed. Now it does happen out of town which makes things a bit easier and they are not telling me what they plan. Nevertheless, I spent a few hours figuring out what to wear. Still a bit worried about getting the makeup right.
Really scared too! Any good tips for first timers?
I am worried that I may lock myself up in the hotel and just not go at all (and miss a ton of fun).
I have been out and about partial dressed quite a bit recently, anywhere from shopping to customers, but never been out 100% as myself...
My first time out the door was to my therapy group. I made it a policy not to miss any sessions so I didn't have the option of missing it. I came home from work, took a quick shower, dressed for the meeting and then found out how hard it was to open the door. If you think it's going to be like that for you, get two keys from the desk and give one to the girls with instructions to get you if you don't show. It may take a little time before you start to relax but the longer you are out, the more comfortable you will become. You might also ask how you should dress seeing you don't know where you are going. You don't want to be over or under dressed for the night.
My advice is more in the line of make sure your friends know this is hard for you. It worries me that they are not telling you what the plan is. Make sure they look out for you and don't get wrapped in their excitement of helping you come out. Before I started dressing as my true self at work, I had all the suggestions of how I might dress. They were well intentioned I guess, but I had to do it my way.
I bet you just want it to be successful and don't care exactly what the night looks like. Don't let yourself retreat but don't extend past what is reasonable for a first time.
Monica
For me, it was, in the end a question..."how do I ever expect to live a normal life as a woman if I can't at least go and socialise in a safe place with like minded people." Apart from any of that...I felt good about what I was wearing and how my makeup looked. I was worried about not being able to pass but when I let go of all that anxiety then it go a whole lot simpler and much more fun. Wether I did or didn't pass was not the point...being so worried about it that you forget to have a good time.
Have a great night...
Liz
If they're taking you out, I'll bet they're more than willing to help with make up etc. I'd think you only have to ask. They are apparently close enough friends that they know, so let them know what worries you and what you need.
Have fun!
My first time out was nerve wracking from the standpoint of getting ready and driving to the place where we were to meet. Once I had parked the car I had a moment of sheer panic where I seriously thought about just driving back home. After I dithered for awhile the thought came to me - "Do you wanna do this or not?" and the answer was "yes". So I took a deep breath, opened the car door, and embarked on my maiden voyage in public as me.
And you know what happened? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. No one paid me a bit of attention, no one made snide comments, no one beat me up. After my friends and I sat in the bar for about 30 minutes talking I completely forgot about being dressed as a female with makeup on in public and was just enjoying the experience of being ME.
My suggestion is to try to relax and not worry about every little thing and just be YOU! You will be among friends that will help you as needed, and you will be fine!
Thanks all for the advice and encouragement. I am really looking forward to it and the GNO was the biggest motivator for this business trip. My urge to go out as my true self has grown in the past weeks so I am happy for this opportunity.
It also means a lot to me that these three are taking me under their wings and help, you are all right - this will make it a lot easier. After checking into the hotel last night, I just made sure I have everything for the big night and that already calmed me down. I did not forget anything...
Thursday will be the big night :-)
I would question the sincerity of their intentions. Are they really there to help you or are they going to over power you take advantage of you? Be cautious and aware of every thing that is happening. You will be outnumbered by 3 to 1.
I hope that you have a wonderful experience.
Have fun and I hope you can share some experience how it was for you!
Thanks again for all your support. Sad to say that girls night out did get cancelled for external reasons. They at least let me in on the plan which would have included a makeup session at Mac and drinks at a pretty cool local bar.
I have to admit I am pretty disappointed. I was really excited for this opportunity.
Next time maybe :-)
Quote from: sarah1972 on December 07, 2016, 06:00:32 AM
Thanks again for all your support. Sad to say that girls night out did get cancelled for external reasons. They at least let me in on the plan which would have included a makeup session at Mac and drinks at a pretty cool local bar.
I have to admit I am pretty disappointed. I was really excited for this opportunity.
Next time maybe :-)
Oh bummer for you. Sounds like it would have been a lot of fun. You have all your stuff maybe you can still do a little something, go for walk, take a drive.