Since I've been post-op, I haven't told anyone who hasn't known already. So, with the exception of two women of transition, all of my subsequent sexual experiences have been without the narrative of "being trans." This includes a six-year relationship, and a current ongoing one.
This isn't really about sex. It's about the dynamic of being with someone without the context of that narrative.
My first few encounters were simply one-night stands. No intention of getting into something, just wanting to satisfy myself, see what it was like. And, I have to admit, it was a complete thrill. Thaddius, my first, I met him a burger-and-beer joint with live music, where I flirted with about three other guys, just getting some free drinks while dancing to the music. Thaddius, though, he came back for another round of conversation, and we talked about music. He put his hand on my back, and I let him keep it there. He was about 2 inches shorter than me, and a good 7 or 8 years younger, with short peroxide-blonde hair and hazel eyes.
After the second set, we head back to his place to "chill out" as we used to say back in the day, and I liked that he took the lead, even going so far as to suggest we find someplace more quiet to hang out before we established that he had a suitably "relaxing" environment. And then we got into it, and it was wonderful if not quite satisfying.
I could still "feel" him down there the next morning.
But that wasn't the significant feeling. No, I felt like I'd finally made it to the "other side." Transition was over. I had arrived. There had been no awkward convesation. No, "What does this mean about me?" questioning on his part. Just two people, a man and a woman, getting down and having a good time. And I tell you, it was something else, something... I don't know, it's hard to find the right words. I could see myself reflected in his eyes -- not a literal reflection, like a mirror, not a tiny image on his cornea, but rather the "who I am" of myself reflected in him. And I hope he kind of felt the same way. I think he did -- I mean, we both seemed grateful for the experience, so there was that.
Not once did I feel like I should pass him the hot potato.
Anyways, here's a place to write about such experiences.
:)