Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: sweetbriar9 on December 07, 2016, 02:05:37 PM

Title: Where to post (chaste) dating questions?
Post by: sweetbriar9 on December 07, 2016, 02:05:37 PM
I wasn't sure where to post these questions but here goes....I'm still outwardly identified by most locals as a heteronormative guy for the time being. I've also had crush for about 15-20 years on a friend of mine. He identifies as gay so I know that I don't need to fear for my life or anything. I've already come out as trans to him but am looking for some courage to also let him know that I'm not off limits. Because of shyness(and macho facade) my body language has probably thrown out some major mixed messages over the years. Do I write to him and just tell him? Identifying inside as 'straight woman' rather than 'gay guy' makes things feel more complicated. For practical purposes I guess it's currently the same thing though right? Feeling so much disgust toward my own body doesn't help, but hey, It would be so nice to be loved by someone. I don't know, maybe it's too soon. All of the loneliness and depression(about loneliness) makes it difficult to make progress in my transition. Who knows. I'd love to hear how other people pursued someone of the same birth gender for the first time.
Title: Re: Where to post (chaste) dating questions?
Post by: Rachel on December 08, 2016, 09:36:15 AM
At the right time you could look him in the eyes and tell him you find him attractive.
Title: Re: Where to post (chaste) dating questions?
Post by: Mariah on December 08, 2016, 09:51:27 AM
it really comes down to the right time and way that works for you. Whatever works for you is what you need to do. Hugs
Mariah
Title: Re: Where to post (chaste) dating questions?
Post by: Denise on December 08, 2016, 10:32:57 AM
I don't know if this is an option but I like talking while wine tasting.  If you pick the right place (Coopers Hawk works well for me) there's just enough noise and distractions that if you need/want to change the topic, easy.  If you want to go deeper into a topic, go for it. 

Not only that but we've met a lot of interesting people that were fun to be with.  To answer your question, I agree with Rachel Lynn, just tell him.
Title: Re: Where to post (chaste) dating questions?
Post by: sweetbriar9 on December 15, 2016, 05:20:30 PM
Thank you for the replies. I may be too shy and nervous to do anything like that in person, plus I don't like putting other people on the spot. I finally sent a very carefully worded Facebook message to him. He's probably trying to think of the kindest way to turn me down before writing back. I hate this dating stuff  :(
Title: Re: Where to post (chaste) dating questions?
Post by: Denise on December 15, 2016, 05:33:35 PM
That's great. Good luck.  Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

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