My Physician gave the informed consent OK.
My Transgender Program Social Worker provided by my insurance HMO would give the OK.
I was going to to do HRT without telling my wife to whom I have been married for over 40 years.
But I thought better.
I am going to have that heart to heart open discussion with her that I had been afraid to do.
My last attempt to come out to her several years ago resulted in a near divorce, but much of the near break-up had more than my dysphoria to blame. I had been horrible and incorrigible. I was intoxicated nearly all the time on alcohol. We almost lost our house due to finances. I blamed my wife, with intense anger, for our financial problem because it was her failed business idea that almost literally put us together with our 2 children on the streets. I was angry and I showed it. I was horrible and said abusive things and attempted suicide in front of her.
She threatened divorce mostly because I was so horrible, probably not because I told her I wanted to have all the wardrobe privileges that she and any woman would.
Through all that, she stuck with me. She Loves ME. Trouble is, she might think I have given up wanting to live as a woman.
I am starting to think that this time in a deep heart to heart revelation me, her husband, wants now to be her wife, that she may not threaten divorce this time. She stayed with the horrible me and still loves me. Now I am the lovely and lovable me, and she loves me.
So, I am going to delay HRT until my wife knows and that she has had a time to adjust to the beauty that is the female me.
I just don't want to crap on my wife's Christmas. This is early December, and I am going to bide my time and see a gender therapist and I do believe she will not leave me. She didn't leave me when I was an abusive beastly monster.
She Loves ME.
So, Here I am. I still feel as I am a Runaway Train and Never Going Back.
I will bring my wife along for my odyssey. I have to.
Donna, I sincerely hope all this goes well for you.
This was the hardest discussion of my coming out to my wife, and ultimately led to my current living conditions.
Hi Donna
I can understand your reluctance but I think you are making the right decision...mainly because you feel it is the right decision and you know your wife the best. Good luck and I hope it goes well. Tell my wife wasn't the easiest thing to do so I can empathise.
Liz
Hi, Donna. I think you are making wise decisions: to delay HRT until you have talked to your wife, and to delay talking until after Christmas. You know your wife best. Telling one's spouse is a calculated risk, but you are doing the calculations and coming up with "maybe not too bad". That's a good place to be. Good luck when the time comes!