Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: maraesque on December 14, 2016, 01:13:59 AM

Title: Casual Coming Out
Post by: maraesque on December 14, 2016, 01:13:59 AM
So, obviously there's no 'right' way to come out, but from everything I've read it's generally considered best to plan out where/when/what.

For some reason, though, I have a tendency to come out casually without planning. I told my best friend basically out of nowhere one day (about a month or two after coming out to myself) and she was the first person I told face to face. It was amazing. As I talked about it I got more and more excited and she was incredible. Since then, I've only planned coming out to my GP and my new therapist, and have been incredibly anxious both times. I've come out to five or six other people (ranging from very old friends to a woman I had just met that day) since then, each time without planning it.

I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else finds themselves doing this? It works for me, I think, because I have serious anxiety problems and planning anything can feel very stressful to me. I've also been very lucky that everyone I've talked to so far has been incredibly supportive and happy to listen to me excitedly ramble about everything...
Title: Re: Casual Coming Out
Post by: Noahsark045 on December 14, 2016, 07:11:58 AM
Hi maraesque,

I'm very much in the same boat as yourself. I have told my close friends and family very impulsively, just kind of blurting it out to them and getting very emotional. But I have found that doing it this way allows me to try to explain who I am in better words than I could if I put pen to paper. So far this has worked well for me, but do what you feel most comfortable with and if you feel happy doing it one way then go for it! :)

Noah


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Title: Re: Casual Coming Out
Post by: Denise on December 14, 2016, 10:12:10 AM
Sometimes off-the-cuff is the best.  Especially if you have anxiety about it.  That way you are calm and the person you are telling will sense that and be more accepting.

The last few people I've told said they couldn't believe how "matter of fact" and "at ease" I was about all of this.  It helped them to accept.

BTW - I've at a 100% acceptance and support.
Title: Re: Casual Coming Out
Post by: Kylo on December 18, 2016, 11:34:59 PM
Yea, I was pretty casual about it.

The people who would actually be affected by my transition would know once I started hormones... no use keeping it from them.

Overthinking stuff never really helped me, and when it comes to this topic, it's pretty unavoidable. So I just came out with it.

However, when it comes to being out in the world at large - I'm not going to casually mention it to just anyone. I'm going stealth.