I don't know if its due to my anti-depressant meds or not, but of late, I have been day - dreaming a lot.
Just a little while ago, I was getting ready for my day and I had such a wonderful experience. I was awake, and yet I could feel something different about me. I felt for a few moments as if I had transformed completely into a woman. I could feel the weight of my breasts, I could feel a kind of hollow, warm, emptiness between my legs, I could feel my warm, smooth skin and then it was over just like that.
I don't know what to make of it. It felt really good. It was like a hallucination, but it just felt so real, so right.
Has anyone had similar experiences or is it just me? I fear that, I'm losing my mind.
Is this normal for a pre-hrt girl?
I'm sure I was not asleep. I was awake, standing, looking out of the window. Maybe, it was some kind of a day dream. I just wish, it would have never ended.
Should I tell my doctor about this?
I mean, how is it possible to feel something like the weight of my breasts, something which I have never had before?
I know amputees get phantom pains, but they have had the body part removed, so they have the knowledge of how it felt earlier.
I have never had breasts before. How did I imagine the weight of them? They felt like a part of my body, not something attached to my bare chest. I really can't explain it in words.
I think I'm going crazy. Please help.
Sounds normal to me. Your brain is probably just very feminize.... transgender people do have a different brain than cisgender people.
In fact, it's more feminine than cisgender women (which is why transgender women are sometimes more womanly than cisgender women).
Quote from: Wild Flower on December 14, 2016, 05:36:02 AM
Sounds normal to me. Your brain is probably just very feminize.... transgender people do have a different brain than cisgender people.
In fact, it's more feminine than cisgender women (which is why transgender women are sometimes more womanly than cisgender women).
Did you experience anything like this before?
I am fully transitionned ( post op) and in the dreams that i can remember.. im always a guy.. ( pre-transition) i dont get it..
I remember however having a dream in the begining of transition where i was having sex and playing with my "female anatomy" , i woke up all wet and with my breasts on fire like if they were literally burning. So yes i think the brain can create kind of phantom feeling. Sometimes when i have a nightmare and im talking in my dream, it happens that i wake up and im talking for real.
Quote from: archlord on December 14, 2016, 10:41:34 AM
I am fully transitionned ( post op) and in the dreams that i can remember.. im always a guy.. ( pre-transition) i dont get it..
I remember however having a dream in the begining of transition where i was having sex and playing with my "female anatomy" , i woke up all wet and with my breasts on fire like if they were literally burning. So yes i think the brain can create kind of phantom feeling. Sometimes when i have a nightmare and im talking in my dream, it happens that i wake up and im talking for real.
By beginning of transition, do you mean you had started hrt?
I haven't even started hrt. I really didn't expect this so early in my journey.
Maybe, living like a guy for so many years, its been kind of imprinted in your brain, so you dream as a guy?
Our brain really is one tricky fella.
Btw, even I talk in my sleep. Sometimes, its just an incoherent stream of words, sometimes, its proper sentences.
I have had similar dreams too. They are very pleasant. I would just enjoy them as a gift.
Quote from: Saira128 on December 14, 2016, 10:17:18 AM
Did you experience anything like this before?
My dreams tend to be night terrors. This morning was disturbing, I don't even know how my mind created such visuals... I felt like I was in a seizure and a lot "icons" or "imagery" were like popping in front of me. It felt like I was hell....
back to the question, not often, I dream genderless usually.
I experience something similar since starting HRT. Before I was lucky if I remember having dreamed the last night maybe once a month of not once every 2 months. Since starting HRT almost every day I remember having a dream the previous night, it still really surprising to me and maybe it's just how much better my mental state is now and not clouded by as severe of depression as I was pre-HRT.
Quote from: Jin on December 14, 2016, 12:36:55 PM
I have had similar dreams too. They are very pleasant. I would just enjoy them as a gift.
Thank you Jin. I enjoy them very much. These are not dreams per say, its like an experience.
Quote from: DuchessBianca on December 14, 2016, 01:25:06 PM
I experience something similar since starting HRT. Before I was lucky if I remember having dreamed the last night maybe once a month of not once every 2 months. Since starting HRT almost every day I remember having a dream the previous night, it still really surprising to me and maybe it's just how much better my mental state is now and not clouded by as severe of depression as I was pre-HRT.
I often remember my dreams. I usually dream the same things multiple times.
I have a diary, in which I write all my dreams. Some are very weird, vague, like the script of an arthouse film.
Some are like the storyline of an erotica. I am always a woman in my dreams, especially, since dysphoria has hit me hard.
My parents would disown me if they read some of them. Lol.
Quote from: archlord on December 14, 2016, 10:41:34 AM
I am fully transitionned ( post op) and in the dreams that i can remember.. im always a guy.. ( pre-transition) i dont get it..
I remember however having a dream in the begining of transition where i was having sex and playing with my "female anatomy" , i woke up all wet and with my breasts on fire like if they were literally burning. So yes i think the brain can create kind of phantom feeling. Sometimes when i have a nightmare and im talking in my dream, it happens that i wake up and im talking for real.
Intersting. I know there is another thread but in my dreams my person is usually male. I've been fully female for what 8 years?
As the OP also said I recall dreams, but never before HRT!
Most of my dreams are either terror dreams (not quite nightmares I was cured of them, I suffered recurrent nightmares from abuse but counselling cured that) but not-coping dreams. Nowadays I dream of such as that I lose my handbag, my train ticket etc and I do not know what to do.
Silly things but disturbing.
I think dreams are the garbage system for the brain, sometimes it takes a long time to get rid of garbage.
Hmmmm... Recently I keep having this repeated dream of waking up post SRS for the big reveal... First time all the bandages are removed and someone holding a mirror and I feel soooooo happy that moment.
So I guess it is kind of normal.
Way better than the stupid nightmares about work emails. They are sometimes so bad, I cannot sleep for hours afterwards.
Quote from: Saira128 on December 14, 2016, 01:31:16 AM
I think I'm going crazy. Please help.
You're not going crazy, sweetie. Not at all.
It sounds to me like an altered state of consciousness. Where the conscious "Grass is green, sky is blue" part of the brain is temporarily busy with something else. And the subconscious, more primal part of the mind is showing you things. You were in a deeper place. Some might argue a more "real" place.
It's the state hypnotherapists and hypnotists work with. Hypnogogic, hypnopompic... all names for the same thing. That malleable state of consciousness where we're open to our deeper selves and what that wants to show us. I've had many similar experiences through meditation and just letting go of the part of the mind that is concerned with the hum drum of what's in front of our eyes.
See, the thing is, the mind knows. Way down, in the deepest parts of ourselves, the mind knows. That, in my view, is where the need to transition comes from. The mind knows. We know who we are. Even when we don't know who we are. And we know how that should feel. How we should be. It's that desire that burns deep and leads people to seek the treatment necessary to bring the body into line with the psyche.
It sounds like you got a glimpse of that, hon. And that's a very precious thing. *hugs*